Please Tell Me: What Do I Do?

Kristen

RETURN THEM BOTH RIGHT NOW. THIS IS YOUR CONSCIENCE SPEAKING.

Seriously, they're gorgeous. Really. I completely understand the desire to keep them. But...really? A LBD is going to be the thing that breaks your SYC challenge will?

Instead of buying them, I think you should write about WHY you want to buy them. Halloween/party is just an excuse. Dig deeper, my friend.

15 years ago

Laura

(website)

Veteran

Hi Kristen! Don't you just love your new role as keeper of my conscience? It's demanding, isn't it??

Why do I want to buy a dress? Why does someone want anything, clothes or otherwise? It's their ego. Sadly I am cursed with a strong ego that has excellent fashion sense, and my ego wants to look cute on Friday night.

*Sigh*

15 years ago

Kristen

(website)

Veteran

Ego is not it, Laura. I don't think so, at least. Yes, of course, you want to look good at the party, but what made you evade the idea of looking in your closet first and jump immediately to buying not one but two dresses? One of which has been in the YLF store on the blog page for a while (fab dress, btw)? I think it has more to do with advertising and conditioning and all sorts of meaty issues. Ego is too easy an answer!

What about the top you wore in your last blog post? Or your dolman sweater? You have lots of black tops, methinks!

15 years ago

Queen Mum

Veteran

I think in the end you will feel defeated breaking SYC for a Halloween party. Return both dresses, go with your black skirt and a black top and shop for a LBD in January.

Edit.. I do have to admit though that you look a heck of a lot better in the zipper dress than the model. But it still isn't worth breaking SYC to wear it with an orange wig.

15 years ago

Laura

(website)

Veteran

Good points all. Actually Kristen, I think ego is the meatier issue and advertising/conditioning is the more surface issue. Because advertising has to appeal to something, and that something is your ego. And if you can deal with your ego, well, nothing goes deeper than that.

Queenie, thanks for your kind words. You won't believe just how hideous this orange wig is!

I emailed a friend to see if she has a cute black top I could borrow to wear with the pencil skirt. The dolman sweater is fab but feels a bit too covered up for a cocktail event. The voluminous blouse in my last blog post might be fine belted. I also have a black, 3/4 sleeve, round neck Michael Stars t-shirt but I'm not sure what to do with that. And I have my moto vest, which could also spice things up.

15 years ago

MNsara

Veteran

I love this discussion, you guys! Kristin - you are the besr friend ever

Laura - Kristin knows you well! I agree that breaking SYC for Halloween would be such a waste - especially when the event is only for a couple of hours!

I'm actually relieved for you that you have heard her VOR and are truly S'ingYC and your friend's closet.

(Now you DO look fab in that zipper dress and should definitely put it on your Christmas list. . .)

15 years ago

MNsara

Veteran

Just want to add that Kristen's urging to write about it instead is spot-on. Even the act of buying the dresses to try on and deliberate over, then return, may give you some sort of *shopping* fix and might make you feel more powerful having just said "No". . .

15 years ago

Mamapicklejuice

Veteran

If you've lasted this long without an LBD...personally, I would be shopping the holy heck out of my friends' closets...totally shopping without guilt!

ETA And let's be honest, the wig is going to be the focal point of your outfit, no? The LBD should really just be the backdrop.

ETA#2 Um, but definitely keep that zipper dress in mind for January!

15 years ago

Laura

(website)

Veteran

Friend reports that she has multiple LBDs ... maybe I can wear one ... more later ....

Kristen is a good friend! Yes!

15 years ago

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Laura, glad your friend's closet help avert your SYC break! I don't really have a LBD either - my strapless one I was posting about last week is the only black I have. I do love the zipper dress on you and think it would be a great addition once SYC ends!

15 years ago

Isabel

Veteran

Laura, I ( from someone who just fell off ) I agree with Kristen. Don't do it for a Halloween costume. You have alternatives.

And I don't believe it is ego either. The Buddhists believe that the reason for so much human suffering is desire. ( That is why I am not a Buddhist - I can't kill wanting things....I would rather just go to confession and get absolved ; 0

You question is such a complicated one. And it is generations of conditioning and living in a society where 70 % of our GDP is BUYING !

Finally, this is a work assignment, so I would try to hang in there as much as possible. I like Kristen's idea of writing about it. Don't be ashamed : this is how we live today. You might want to look up Paco Underhill. A BRILLIANT economist, who, unfortunately, has spent his brilliance figuring out how to convince to buy, buy, buy ! And it works, works, works !

PS YOU ARE SOOOOO FREAKIN' CUTE, that a new black dress couldn't amp it up any further !

15 years ago

Patience

Veteran

Laura, you ARE cute. With or without the dresses. You can do it-- SYC that is! Maybe in this case, it's going to be SYFC.

PS with the exception of the OTK boots, I'm a secret SYCer too since 1 Oct. There are no "musts"!

15 years ago

MNsara

Veteran

SYFC? lol, that may be the new mantra for weeks 14-end?

15 years ago

Jonesy

Veteran

Resist! You can easily find alternatives, and I'll bet at least one of those dresses (or others like them) will still be around in January. And, as others have mentioned, no one will be looking at your dress if you're wearing a bright orange wig!

15 years ago

Vix

Veteran

Hang in there!

Besides, I don't think it's ego or whatever...I think it's writer's block. I bet at this point it's getting a little same-old to write about NOT buying, and subconsciously you wanted a juicy topic to liven up the assignment. And as Kristen says the buying + returning is a great one.

15 years ago

Sparky

Veteran

Oh, don't do it! You look fantastic in the zipper dress (there goes Angie again, super recommendation) but it's not worth it. You have so many other options, and this is just for a Halloween party. Plenty different than, for example, needing just the right look for a job interview that will allow you to keep putting food on the table.

Have a try-on party at your friend's house. Make it fun with a glass of wine thrown in. I'm sure you can find a LBD to borrow. You will look smashing at the party no matter what.

15 years ago

Lisa

Veteran

I think boredom is getting to you, after all the temptation that's come along, a dress for Halloween? Surely this is not worth breaking the SYC. Plus it is a work assignment. I like the idea to borrow a friends dress, or just use two black separates and call it a day. After all, the wig will be the star for your outfit. Add the zipper dress to your Christmas list instead.

15 years ago

lynne

Veteran

Laura, I think all my points have already been made, so I'll just chime in to say "stay strong". A Halloween party isn't worth it.

15 years ago

lady

Active Member

yes, yes. others have had splendid advice. You do look great in the zippered dress and could let that be a treat later after your challenge. I dont particularly care for the 1st one anyway.

You are so close! you can do this! you are awesome! *wink*

15 years ago

Debbie

Veteran

You can do this! Their will be wonderful balck dresses in Jan.

15 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Don't you look KILLER in that little zippered sheath! Please write a review for the store

I can't believe that our Dress Queen doesn't have a LBD. Are you sure, Laura???

I can't be your conscience here. I'm better at being your rah rah cheer leader. Let me know what you decide to do. Good luck!

15 years ago

taylor

Veteran

I am no help. I say buy, buy, buy You look adorable

15 years ago

Steph

Veteran

I admit that I haven't been following the whole SYC thread, so I don't know your reasons for starting to SYC in the first place. But perhaps your reasons for SYC have been fulfilled and you are no longer getting anything out of it, which is why you want to start making purchases again? However, if you feel strongly about the challenge aspect and just want to see it through to the end, that's of value as well. I guess my advice on whether to break the SYC would come down to your reasons for taking on the challenge and whether you have met your goals.

15 years ago

rute

Veteran

Oh.. I'm bad.. I never advise to let go because I always regret when I pass a piece I really love!
I prefer the one with the zipper but the other one is lovely too.
You MUST keep the dress! No LBD on your closet?

15 years ago

Laura

(website)

Veteran

No LBD in my vast dress collection. I have two black cotton dresses for summer but they don't qualify as LBD material. It's a rather shocking wardrobe hole, isn't it?

Honestly, SYC hasn't bothered me much, other than the occasional pang when someone here would post something cute (oxfords, for example). But this week, it's driving me absolutely batty, as our Angie would say. I am literally in pain thinking about sending that MK dress back to Zappo's.

I thought more about what Kristen said, and maybe we are using the word "ego" in two different ways. Anyway, going to a grown-up party used to be pretty common for me, but these days, it's doesn't happen much. Even that cocktail party I attended a couple of weeks ago was for work. And so I wanted to indulge myself, give myself a treat, by buying a new dress. But you all are right, the dress won't matter that much, ultimately. Now, I hope I can squeeze into my friend's dresses!

15 years ago

Lisa

Veteran

Convince a same size friend to buy the dress and then let you borrow it.

15 years ago

LoP

Veteran

OK. I know I'll regret later that I'm writing this right now since I would not like to be the one to make you break your challenge. Just buy that zipper dress! You look gorgeous in it and you don't have an LBD. When does your challenge end? You can add a few more weeks to it to make up for the dress. Does that make sense?

15 years ago

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

NOOOO!! Be strong and send it back! You've identified a key wardrobe hole, and in January when your ban is lifted, you'll have extra resources to devote to filling it. You'll be able to find the absolute perfect option with time on your side and pressure off your shoulders!
Have a great time at the party, though.

15 years ago

Auburn

Veteran

Let me just say that, whatever the causal factors at play may be, I completely relate. I frequently use events (a party, a fundraiser, a wedding, even vacation) as an excuse to buy something new. It feels ever-so-slightly less indulgent at the time because I'm buying "for a reason" rather than just to add to my closet. And yet, having done this so much, there's no real reason to continue doing so, rather than just going back and re-wearing something, or borrowing something or putting a new outfit together using older pieces. I just love the idea of wearing some new and cute to a formal event, even if the dress code itself isn't formal at all. Perhaps this is because our work days and weekends are routine-filled and don't allow sufficient outlet for creative expression? Perhaps because we know we'll get recognition at the event that we don't get at our office or homes? I agree, meaty issue here and not one I'm able to unpack skillfully.

As to your specific quandaray, while I agree that an LBD is an absolute MUST, I think you'll be just as happy owning in January, particularly now that you've vetted the issue publicly and have a nearly unanimous response (with Kristen leading the charge)!

15 years ago

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