Party/Date Dress in Your 40's - YouLookFab Forum

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Party/Date Dress in Your 40's

Anna

Hi ladies,

I am looking to find several party dresses--for nice cocktail parties, dates, etc. and I am really stuck particularly because I cannot find my ideal dress anywhere online.

My ideal dress is just below the knee, flowy bottom skirt, fitted at the waist; it will show the chest curves without showing cleavage, and it will have a bare back or something sexy about it.

When I browse through Macy's or Lord and Taylor online, I tend to like the shift dresses, but I think that they are boring. In addition, most dresses I see are rather short. Since I turned 40 a couple of months ago, I feel like I do not want to wear something short, e.g. mid-thigh (my favorite length when I was younger) or even a couple of inches above the knees.

If you could recommend outfits for nice parties that are appropriate for my age and body type (hourglass, 5'7", 130lb, 36C), I would very very grateful. My wardrobe currently consists of a couple of black boring (classic) dresses which I could wear for a more formal event at a professional setting. I want to diversify my wardrobe and find feminine, a bit edgy, and definitely flattering party clothes.

Many thanks in advance. Thank you for reading my post.

Shopping

24 replies

Latest reply was from Anna

Laurie

How about jersey wrap dresses? Do they work for you? I'm about your height and an hourglass, and I find them comfortable and flattering.. although it is rare to find them with an open back. They're more likely to have a lower v neckline. I think the edge would have to be in the choice of print. Silk jersey is really nice and comfortable.

Anna

Hi Laurie,

Where would you find a nice dress like that? I have tried warp dresses, but I find the neckline way too low. I have considered stitching the neckline, but it does not work well.

rabbit

Veteran

What kind of flowy skirt did you want? Something chiffon-y? Something that flares a bit or is full? Something more narrow?

Most fit and flare dresses I see now hit at or just above the knee, so I know it's a bit of a search.

Two things occur to me besides dresses if you have trouble finding one with a flowy midi skirt length and the top that you like. What about putting together two separates to create one? Especially if you go with black or two tonally similar colors you could get a skirt that works the way you want and a fitted top that tucks into it and could have the open back you want.

Second, and I'm just throwing this out there as a wildcard, I've created dresses like this: http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....al-capsule by belting a long skirt. It is strapless, but not low cleavage, and has a contrast between a fitted top and a flowy skirt. I've done this a couple of times with different skirts that I wanted to wear shorter. Might not be formal enough for your purposes though.

cciele

Veteran

I like Diane von Furstenberg dresses, specifically the fit-and-flare kinds like the Jeannie or the Jaelyn. I have the Jeannie in black leather.
However, I'm not sure about the length for you -- I'm 5'3" so the dress hits around my knees; these dresses might be on the short side for you.
But if this silhouette -- fitted bodice, no cleavage, flared skirt -- works for you, maybe we can find something that's long enough!

http://www.shopbop.com/diane-v.....2534374302

trying...

What about something like this: http://www1.macys.com/shop/pro.....ategoryID=
It comes to the knee, has a tulip like skirt, and comes in a print. Also if you want coverage but something sexy maybe a one shoulder dress?

Jules

Veteran

Wrap dresses are generally going to need a cami. I used to find this a pain, but now I think it's fun to try different colours underneath.
I actually think that in general, as we age (I'm also 40) and can't just easily pick up a cute little dress, more pieces and styling effort are required overall. Dresses don't really fill the nice but not formal wardrobe need for me any more, so I am working more with separates... blazers or other nice toppers over pants outfits in particular. Throwing a nice topper over a basic outfit = instant polish. Show a little ankle with some sexy shoes (which do not have to be high pumps). Etc. I'm finding that easier and more fun than trying to find dresses that are not 1) too young and flimsy or 2) expensive, boring office wear.

rabbit

Veteran

These might not be the right size (they only have a few options) and colors, but I thought these were interesting and had longer skirts:

Diane von Furstenberg Silk Sierra Maxi Dress

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1

Elizabeth And James Silk Canton Ruth Printed Dress

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3

Catherine Malandrino Silk Off Shoulder Ruffle Gown

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1

Applause

Wrap dresses are so flattering and feminine.

Anna

Ladies,
What do you think of this dress: http://www1.macys.com/shop/pro.....CategoryID

Not exactly what I am looking for (no bare back), but it has a skirt that flows and is within my budget. How can I jazz it up and make it suitable for parties or a date?

For the wrap dresses: what kind of camies do you use? They always show a bit below the waist--the hem bulges a bit through the dress.

jackiec

Veteran

Not sure if i'm seeing the right dress - the one you've linked does have a back - but I really like it! Very simple and easy to dress up or down. You could put on a chunky statement necklace, or something dainty, or nothing at all. Or a colourful scarf, a denim jacket, a sparkly jacket, a sweater, etc etc. I can see this with heels, booties, boots, and even sneakers to dress it way down a la sporty-luxe. Is that helpful at all? We are similar in age & height, but unfortunately I'm far from a 36C. I prefer more of a sheath style, and actually, also prefer separates. I'd lean towards a slinky tube skirt with a looser tank style top plus necklaces. Add heels and good to go

Anna

Jackiec,
This is the dress from Macy's website: Calvin Klein Cap-Sleeve Seamed Belted Dress Web ID: 1478666.

Thanks for your suggestions! I am trying to picture a sweater with the dress to make it look good for a date or a party. Can you elaborate? Your ideas--and of the other forumites--definitely expands my fashion sensibilities. Love it that I am learning so much here.

I am starting to lean toward separates too!

What is the shortest skirt you'd wear? I love the style you are describing. I think looser tops make me look a bit bulky so that's why I prefer something fitted, but I love the style you are describing. I tend toward fitted dresses, but I am afraid they can look a bit too professional. I think I need to work on my styling….

Anna

Ladies in your 40s,
Would you wear this skirt at a party or for a date:
http://www1.macys.com/shop/pro.....#038;TStam

From the Macy's website: Bar III Lace Midi Skirt

What kind of top would you pick? I am puzzled about what to do with the pattern of the lace and if the top should / could have a pattern as well.

Also, does not the skirt look a bit trashy for a woman in her 40's?

Million thanks!

cciele

Veteran

Hm, not sure of the skirt, for myself anyhow. I've not been a fan of the stepped look (is that what you call it?).
Other ideas -- Adrianna Papell has some great dresses, for example:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ad.....te/3700766

And Tadashi Shoji too, but a bit more $$$:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ta.....ss/3655707

Or perhaps Eliza J:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/el.....ss/3809764

Good luck!

FindingMyWay

What about this Calvin Klein dress that is an Angie top pick? (Though it doesn't have an open back.) I bought this in a size 6 to wear to a wedding. It fits me great, essentially making my bust look bigger and waist smaller. I'm a very similar height and weight to you, with a slightly smaller bust and an IT/hourglass shape. The skirt hits at the knee, so it doesn't reveal too much, and my husband gave it two thumbs up.

Calvin Klein Sleeveless Shutter Pleat Dress

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shiny

Veteran

Have you tried Ann Taylor?

http://www.anntaylor.com/halte.....012&p

http://www.anntaylor.com/criss.....atid=cata0

rabbit

Veteran

I think the CK dress you linked to is beautiful (if it flatters on you) and would look great minimalist like the model is wearing it with sexy shoes. If I wore a topper it would probably be something shorter or cropped, from a simple shrug to a jacket.

I'd wear the lace bodycon midi skirt, but probably with a very austere simple top, like a black short sleeve or sleeveless high necked or turtleneck, and then shoes that were refined and elegant, I would dress it up rather than down. There are a variety of lazer cut or lace black skirts out there that if well made can look great to my eye with a complementary black top.

Anna

Shiny, a month ago (or so) I ordered the fantastic looking Ann Taylor halter top dress, but had to return it. The fabric was very wrinkly and the beauty of the dress just disappeared.

Findingmyway, I ordered the dress you recommended too--hope it fits. How do you style yours--silver everything: shoes, bag, jewelry?

Ladies, thank you for your kind suggestions. I am still considering the other dresses!

I just ordered this dress which I hope looks good on me. I have something very similar from JCrew but a much sweeter color (pink) and a less formal fabric:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ma.....49?origin=

I wish the back was a bit lower (as it is for the J Crew dress) and that the color was more fun (red would have been fabulous), but it's pretty much what I want. Any suggestions on how to style this dress? Nude high heel shoes? What about the color of the bag? Would a silver clutch and silver strappy shoes go well? (That's what I have.) I really need this to sparkle, and this dark color does not help. May be I should get a nice sparkly necklace...

Now I am starting to think and do my research on separates. Thank you, ladies, once more! I am very grateful for your attention.

Anna

Ladies in your 40's,

Would you wear leather-like leggings and if so, how do you style them so you look classy and not trashy or wanna-be-in-my-20s?

I have been building my wardrobe with dresses and bought a few. After some research, I've realized that jackets might work well for me both in the office and at a nice restaurant.

Thanks!

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I wear leather leggings and I'm 41.
You don't have to do the feather headdress, this was for a party
http://noscrubs.lookfab.com/po.....h-feathers

rabbit

Veteran

I wear leather-look leggings and I'm the same age as Anna. I'm going a little bit more for edgy than classy, but here are some examples:
(the third pic was at a rock concert, and I pulled the skirt down some)

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Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

For some more classic bombshell party dresses, you might look at J Peterman.

http://www.jpeterman.com/Women.....ance-Dress
http://www.jpeterman.com/Women.....avel-Dress
http://www.jpeterman.com/Women.....ango-Dress

this one has Lyn*'s name on it
http://www.jpeterman.com/Women.....elle-Dress

ETA: It's not obvious on the site but JPeterman now has photo views of their garments linked to the item description.

Thistle

Veteran

A silk jersey wrap dress would be ideal. You will probably find a lot more options as we get deeper into the fall season, particularly in preparation for Christmas.

I would also check Nordstrom, BR, Ann a Taylor etc especially as the holidays get closer as they will carry more formal cocktail pieces.

Also, read the length of the skirt on any dress you like. I am 5'6" and I find most skirts hit several inch slower on me than the models most stores use.

Vix

Veteran

Hi Anna --

Lots of great advice above!

It's so frustrating to know what you want and not be able to find it. As an over-40 who was looking for evening wear this past year, I have a few more thoughts....

-- Try to see possibilities in a piece. Spending to modify one piece may make you happier than buying 2 or 3 dresses. Alterations may let you turn a crewneck into a V or scoop, take down the back (easier if zippers aren't involved), remove sleeves, add sleeves, turn a full-length dress into one that hits where you want, give you a bit more length at the hem, add lace/tulle or a beaded this or that to a neckline or waist, and more.

[If you don't have a good tailor/seamstress, fabric and bridal shops often have recs]

-- Consider Rent the Runway so you don't have to commit to a dress for more than one event!

-- Check consignment shops for evening wear

-- Ponder custom, either locally or via Etsy (I think some members here have done the latter, I've done the former)

-- If it fits your style, consider wearing those "feels too short as a dress" dresses as a tunic. I've yet to wear the one I got barelegged, but I bought it to wear over waxed (leather-look) skinny jeans and velvet trousers so that's ok. See photo #1.

Good luck, and keep us posted on the hunt!

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Anna

Rambling Ann, Thank you for your suggestions! I did not know this brand/store, so I am going to be investigating it.

Thistle, Ann Taylor is one of my favorite stores. I rarely shop at Nordstrom and I do not know even what BR means, but I will be looking into these stores.

Vix and rabbit, I absolutely love your outfits and I love the idea of a short dress as a tunic and the leather pants or skirt. I have been thinking about an edgier style too.

Thanks again, ladies!