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Parisian Chic - Integrate into Your Wardrobe - Ha!

velvetychocolate

Veteran

One of the tips, under "Shopping Coach" in Parisian Chic jumped out at me:

"Always think about how the piece will integrate into your wardrobe."

I must admit, I'm really struggling with this one. It's partly because I didn't/don't even have a proper wardrobe to begin with, due to changing sizes over the years. It's also partly because I am unclear on what my "style" is.

I am having a tough time getting dressed these days, and it's because I seem to be missing pieces that will work with what I already have, and then I end up reverting to jeans and a plain sweater. For instance, I have some new (albeit simple) black riding boots that are extremely comfortable. The dilemma? The only pants I own that work for tucking into these boots are the just-recently-purchased GAP Really Skinny pants in black. In addition, the only two coats I own that fit me right now are both black trench coats. And no, I'm not going to wear black skinny pants, with black riding boots AND a black trench coat.

At the same time, while I fell in love with that Talbots blue tweed coat online, it doesn't 'go' with much of anything that I currently have in my closet. I haven't decided whether to keep it or not yet.

I bought the Design History sweater vest that I liked in the Nordstrom NAS promotion just recently at the Rack - but my Old Navy animal print blouse doesn't look right with it, and I don't have a plain black or grey pencil type skirt that will work. Ack! I do have a bunch of skirts - some seem too big, and the ones that fit? I don't have the right tops for them, and I'm unclear as to whether opaques or sheerer hose is best.

I have a bunch of cropped cardigans that I never wore - just hanging there. Actually, I have tons of cardigans - regular, longer, cropped. The only one I've actually worn more than once is a simple black cashmere slightly "boyfriend" style. I'm embarrassed to say that I probably have on the order of 20 orphan cardigans.

Lots of orphan jeans too. The Kut from the Kloth skinnies (not all that skinny) - they keep sliding down, and I can't tuck them into boots.

I bought the black Really Skinny pants hoping they'd work with the black riding boots, and they do, and also hoping I could wear them with some of the blousy-er, tunic-like tops I have. I didn't think about the fact that the two coats I own are black...oops!

Am I the only one struggling like this? Also - does anyone have any comments/advice on how to "integrate" ?

Thanks.

Book Club

28 replies

Latest reply was from Vicki

JennyAnne

(website)

Veteran

Sounds like you're making progress. My version of the integration is imagining a top with jeans AND black pants. Ha. I, too, feel like I don't really know my style yet.

ironkurtin

Veteran

There's nothing wrong with all black. If it makes you feel too goth, throw on a scarf in any other color!

Elly

Veteran

First, I think you have to decide what things in your wardrobe are really worth integrating. You shouldn't struggle or compromise on new purchases you could potentially love just because they don't "go" with what you currently have, especially if you don't love what you have.

I struggled with this for a while, because in my eyes, I had a closet full of clothes. However, I was hanging on to things that didn't fit, had rarely been worn because I didn't love them or they fit odd and annoyed me, and clothes that were dated. In fact, after a shopping ban that lasted several years, almost everything hanging in my closet fit into those categories, since the clothes I actually loved and wore were in a constant laundry cycle and rarely made it back into the closet! I did a good sort of the clothes in the closet and kept only the ones I had forgotten about that could probably replace a worn basic (I had a couple of extra sweaters that were in much better shape than the ones I was currently wearing) or were things I would miss if got rid of (a dress I loved but didn't have many occasions to wear, or the correct shoes, a skirt I find gorgeous but needs a new top). Nothing else is worth keeping around, and it just makes honing in on style harder. When you narrow down orphans to just a few pieces, it is easier to adopt them, and getting rid of junk you don't wear makes it easier to see and fill wholes.

If the Kut skinnies drive you nuts with the sliding, get rid of them. Consign them, ebay them, give them to someone who will enjoy them. Life is too short for uncomfortable pants.

Is there a reason that you have two black trenches? Do you love them both and do they both serve a purpose? If not, maybe one should go. Either way, it sounds like you need another coat. Is there a reason you think the Talbots one doesn't go with your wardrobe? Are you a black lover at heart and it has brown details? Or what is it about it that seems "off"?

As far as the black boots, black skinnies, black coat dilemma goes-- break it up with a colorful scarf (or something else peaking out of the front/neckline, a non-black bag, and non-black gloves/hat/umbrella. You can wear the three together.

If you've worn the Gap skinnies a few times and like them, perhaps it is time to get a blue or other colored pair.

As for the cardis, I would like to challenge you to wear them (or some of them) and figure out why you don't wear them. Is it that you bought them when cardis were super popular and you thought you should have some? Is it that you actually like them, but need tops, ect. to wear with them? Do you not wear enough skinnies/skirts to justify owning lots of cropped cardis? Are you a jacket girl? Take some time to figure out if you really like cardis-- if you like the style, how they look on you. On the other hand-- you could just sell or donate the cardis new, never worn, if you just don't wear cropped cardis.

Try on the skirts that fit, decide if they are worth finding tops for. If you don't love the look or don't like to wear skirts, get rid of them. Unless your weight fluctuates alot, get rid of the ones that don't fit.

By being tough with yourself and getting rid of things you don't actually love or aren't serving a functional purpose in your wardrobe. It will leave you without as many orphans, help you decide what you need to really shop hard for to complete outfits, and may help you narrow in on your style and preferences--- which means there will be fewer orphans in the future.

Ana

(website)

Veteran

VC, my shopping strategy (especially when I'm browsing) is to figure out at least two things I *already own* I could wear with whatever I'm trying on. So if I'm buying pants, I have to think of two shirts I have that I could wear with it. Or if I'm buying a blouse, I already have to have a skirt or pants or shorts that would go. If I'm trying on a dress, I figure out what shoes and accessories I could wear with it, or what I have that I could layer over it. If I want to try something totally new, then I have to buy all the things I need for that outfit in very close succession. So if I want to try X, but I need Y to make the look work, and I don't have Y, then I have to commit to buying Y within a short time period (maybe 2-3 weeks). Otherwise, I end up with closet orphans. Since employing this strategy, I've found myself buying far fewer things that I see other people totally rock, but that just aren't really "me."

I think this strategy primarily works if you already have a good sense of what your style is, what works for your lifestyle and you already mostly own things you love wearing.

ETA: Elly and I posted at the same time! Her advice is really great. I second what she says, too.

Refugee

Veteran

It sounds to me like you have 2 challenges here. First one being orphans. Of the skirts that are too big, are there any you would wear if they fit? If so, I would suggest taking at least one to have it altered. My experience is skirts are the easiest and least expensive thing to have altered. Of the skirts that do fit, do you have one that is a good candidate for dying (could it become the gray or black skirt you do not have)? I know lots of the fab women here have had success with this. One of the things that helped me de-orphan some jeans was an invisibelt. I went through some body changes and didn't want to spend money on alterations or buy new ones until things got settled. Also it has come in very handy because our bodies can have minor fluctuations in size and water retention.
In terms of can you integrate something into your wardrobe, do you keep a list of 'if I only had . . .' ? Keeping a list like this and reviewing it often (and thinking about the different things I could do with it) helps me focus on what I am on the look for so I at least have a shot at bringing something new in that will really work.

rae

(website)

Veteran

Here is what seriously helped me in the past couple years:

Above all else, doing some mental work about my personal style made the process so much easier. Before I had this down, I had no useful rubric to help me decide what to keep/toss/buy. You don't have to know it down pat right away - it even helps to eliminate (e.g. I am NOT preppy or I want to leave my cutesy phase behind). Inspiration pictures help, as does this fab checklist, created by Aida (toward middle of page): http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....on-journey

Next, I went through my closet again and again, weeding out stuff I didn't feel fab in and that went against my style statement.

Throughout, I tried really hard to make a mental list of things I needed to complete an outfit but didn't have. For me, this meant bright, casual jackets. For you, maybe it means a colored trench or blue skinnies to go with your boots.

I would also consider consigning or reselling your cardis and jeans that are orphaned - it seems like a lot were just worn once, and the extra $ can really take some of the pressure and stress away from buying new things.

I hope this helps in some way - I know the feeling, for sure!

Makrame

Veteran

One thing I have liked doing lately is using Kate's spreadsheet ( http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....t-you-wear ) to keep track of what clothes I wear and when. This way I have a complete list of everything I have in my closet, and I can see which items actually get worn and in what combinations. You could probably also create a similar spreadsheet to keep track of items you need to complete a potential new outfit, like a longer shirt or a different color scarf.

Also, I am trying to be as ruthless as possible about returning any new purchases that I try on at home and don't like with my existing clothes.

I also think there is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing black pants, boots, and trench, especially if you add a scarf. In fact, I purposely bought a black puffer and a black coat to make them easier to mix and match; since I always wear decorative scarves, I don't feel like this is too much black.

With your Kut skinnies, have you tried wearing them with a thin belt? I love my Kut skinnies but most days I use a belt (under long tops) to make sure they don't slide down.

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

VC, You've gotten some great advice about how to integrate new purchases into your wardrobe. The first step for me was a completely ruthless unsentimental wardrobe purge. Get rid of anything that doesn't fit, flatter, or isn't in style. If you aren't sure about something and think you might want to hold on to it, put it in purgatory in a storage box out of your closet for a while. Then you can really see what you have and what holes you need to fill in your wardrobe. I agree with the others if you found something you love, like the skinnies or always straights, buy them in other colors to avoid wardrobe bottlenecks. Get another pair of great boots or booties in a different color like cognac that goes with lots of things but doesn't necessarily need to match anything.

Mochi

Veteran

I so hear you, velvety. My current situation is more creation than integration regarding a wardrobe. It's tough but also very freeing.

HelenInCanada

Veteran

Some very great advice here, velvetychocolate (good gracious, could there be a better username than that?!). I haven't read Parisian Chic yet (I want to pop into Chapters later and pick it up!) but I can understand the wisdom of asking yourself if an item will "integrate" into your wardrobe, creating new outfit possibilities for you.

About your wardrobe crisis - boy, can I relate! I too am sliding between sizes (actually, it's quite extreme - the range between an 8 and a 14!!!) so I've got MANY items that I like but I simply can't fit into at the moment, and although I've donated a huge heap recently, I'm hanging on to some favourites. So that created a guilt about needing to buy a whole new wardrobe to duplicate my favourites, but in my current size. I also have quite a few "meh" items that I'm not thrilled to wear just because they fit!

What I've tried to do is simplify the process of building my new wardrobe and avoid any more "misses"! The BEST way I've found to do that (and with YLF influence!) is to consider my "style identity", or statement, as Rae said, to help me decide what items I could invest in and get the most enjoyable wear from. I've decided on "Classic Bohemian" to help me. I purchased a few straight-legged and skinny fit jeans in black and dark wash denim, a couple of fun and crazy drapey tunics, and one knee-length puffer coat. And two well-fitting dresses and tights. I also bought about ten scarves in different colours and textures to have fun with and add colour to my black coat! From here, I can add other items to build more versatility. It IS tempting to go into a store and just grab at eye-catching things or whatever looked super fab on the window display, but then once you get it home you realize you have nothing to wear it with, or you don't feel comfortable wearing it, or you simply have no where to wear it to. Orphans, closet rejects, etc. ensue. Very frustrating. So I think the mental process is the first step when beginning to build your wardrobe! Good luck, and thank goodness for YLF, eh?!

velvetychocolate

Veteran

Wow - some really excellent advice and wisdom here - thank you all so much. I don't feel as weird about the black skinnies/boots/trench idea now.

The only reason I have two black trench coats is that I bought one that I loved - Kenneth Cole, it has some interesting details that I really like, but it turned out to be a lint magnet. Just this past summer, I ordered a nicer, but plainer Gallery hooded trench coat. I think the Gallery one I ordered only came in beige and black. I don't think beige looks very good on me.

And yes, I bought the cardigans when they were popular, and felt they were a 'must have' or something like that. I really like the simple black cashmere boyfriend one, and have worn that a few times. There are maybe two or three more that might work with some of my skirts, once I figure out which ones fit and which ones shift around too much. Um - I have things like a grape cropped cardigan. A brown cropped cardigan from BR that never got worn either. An aqua cardigan. An animal print round-neck cardigan that's too big on me now. Three long merino wool cardigans - not cascading or waterfall-ish, just long (knee length, but with waist definition). There are more...but you get the idea. About 85% of these have never been worn. <--I need to adopt the mantra: Do Not Buy Any More Cardigans.

I have to run, but will come back and re-read these responses more carefully. I think I'll need a closet clear-out, a list of things that would really be useful to complete some outfits, and to adopt a strategy where when I buy something, I need to figure out what it will work with that's already in my closet.

Thanks again!!

Vicki

(website)

Veteran

Elly, I really like your comments about how VC can break up the all-black outfit and Ana I also really like your shopping strategy and plan to incorporate it. VC, I felt the same concern over integrating what I currently have in my closet, too. Here's one paragraph I posted on the Book Club thread:

"One thing that does concern me and raises a question in my mind, is that with the Parisian Chic style, I feel like I've "over-bought" in every category, from jackets, coats, tees, shirts, etc. How to blend, reduce and merge the two is now a puzzle if I choose to embrace part or much of her recommendations."

It was a long posting and I really liked the book, but my thoughts above were one concern.

Here's to integrating and finding a way to get rid of what's needed (eBay? I've only sold one item that way. Of course, donation to charities are also good).

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Donation to charity is good and consignment can also be a route to go. I consigned several items this season and have made enough money that I was able to get my recent jacket and skirt for $20. (The skirt happened to be on sale that day, which helped.)

Inge

(website)

Lots of fantastic suggestions here, VC. I absolutely agree that it might be a good idea to go through your entire wardrobe, be very strict, and put aside anything that doesn't fit, flatter or that you just don't like to wear anymore. It's possible you end up with a very limited selection at first, but it's the best way to see what your wardrobe holes are and to figure out what you need to purchase first etc.

Also: do you love the new Talbots coat, VC? I believe coats, especially false plains like tweeds actually go with a lot of things, many more than you'd originally think. I have a purple tweed coat (Winter) and can't think of a single outfit I haven't worn it with. (except my purple sheath dress, because the shades just don't agree with each other). So if it fits well, it might be worth keeping after all?

Vix

Veteran

Hi VC --

>And no, I'm not going to wear black skinny pants, with black riding boots AND a black trench coat.

HEY NOW

I'm laughing because I frequently am in a black coat + boots + tights/skirt or pants...but I love it. [See below ]

Now, I *do* try to throw on a contrasting scarf, hat, purse, and/or gloves to keep the look from being completely severe. And I see other members have suggested the same.

But is there a reason why you felt that was "too much" black for you? Because I can see that feeling wrong for people. Hopefully that's not the case, and we've convinced you to try adding a non-black accessory. If that still feels off, you can move on to what feels better!

[BTW, the new blue coat sounds great and I wouldn't worry about it not matching what you currently have.]

****

Switching gears a bit -- you've gotten tons of great advice upthread about closet evaluating, purging, and trying to build outfits.

Something that really helped me as I was trying to build a closet from the ground up was doing all of the above...but factoring color into the equation.

Seemed like I could get everything lined up to work for weather/occasion/body type but then one piece would be the wrong color. [One reason all-black was "easy," ha.]

When I started choosing a limited color range for new fall/winter and spring/summer items I found I had a lot less trouble creating outfits.*

I would try putting all your neutrals in one grouping and all your color-color items in another and see what's going on there. Color-wise, are the tops you like with the bottoms (or dresses you like with the cardigans etc) the right shape for them? Or are the shapes right and the color pairings not to your liking?

Just something you may want to examine when you are doing all the other great things above!

***

*if you're up for some chatty posts, I've written about building up a small wardrobe/injecting color into a neutral-laden closet several times. Wonder why?

Here's how I accidently discovered the "color capsule" concept would work for me:
http://buildingacolorfullife.w.....l-capsule/

...and here's how I tried to continue building onto that concept!
http://buildingacolorfullife.w.....-capsules/

...and here's the visual + list examination I did of 373 days of buying to see how I was doing balancing color-color with neutral purchases (it was a close call!):
http://buildingacolorfullife.w.....e-me-bawl/

This post has 1 photo. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

velvetychocolate

Veteran

Thanks again everyone - I'm quite wowed by all these fabulous responses. There's a lot of really great advice and helpful commentary in here.

ironkurtin and vix - thanks for making it ok to go ahead and wear black boots, black skinnies and black trench coat - I'll have to re-organize my scarves so they're handy in the hall closet where my coats are.

Elly - wonderful advice re: "Don't struggle or compromise on new purchases because they don't go with what you have, epecially if you don't love what you have." Thank you for this gem! There's a lot of stuff that I have, but don't love. Also - I will be careful in deciding which orphans to keep.

Ana - thank you for the suggestion that if I buy "X" and it needs "Y", then I need to get "Y" within a couple of weeks to prevent more orphans - if I haven't been able to make "X" work with what I've already got. Really good idea. I bought a sweater dress LAST winter, and it hung in the closet all year because I didn't know what to wear with it, and even if I did - I didn't have those things. Oops

Refugee - thank you for the suggestion to keep a list of "If I only I had" items. I think this will help a great deal. I sort of feel like all my clothes are orphans, even though I'm sure this isn't true. Will look into the invisibelt - I'm sure it would come in handy.

rae - thank you for the link to the thread you'd posted earlier, and for mentioning Aida's checklist - I will definitely try it. I've copied/pasted the checklist and will incorporate it into what I feel is a closet clear out coming on very soon.

Makrame - a spreadsheet? WOW. You've given me a good idea though - perhaps I need an actual inventory to start with.

modgirl - thank you for "ruthless and unsentimental wardrobe purge" - and maybe cognac boots

HeleninCanada - thanks for reinforcing the idea that having some sort of style statement helps to avoid shopping "misses." I've been all over the place - boho'ish tops, modern classic dressy stuff, trendy stuff...it's all a big mess, to be honest. I will do some work here, because I think it's needed.

Vicki - that quote you posted re: your reaction to something in Parisian Chic - yes! Now that I think about it, I've overbought (cardigans that I don't wear and maybe don't like??) in some areas and underbought in others. Thanks for throwing this consideration into the mix.

suz - I have yet to try a consignment store - I've never even been in one! Will look around today and see what's around here...I'm not sure I have anything worth consigning myself because I did go kind of "cheap" on clothing as I was losing weight. That said, you have been able to find some nice things - I think MaryK has too, right? Might be a really good resource to try - thanks!

Inge - thanks for your wise suggestion that it's ok if I started out with a very limited selection post closet-clear-out. I suspect that because I kept running out of clothes that fit, I've been keeping things "just in case". Can't explain it, but during my long-ish weight loss journey (which still isn't quite finished yet), every time the season changed, the clothes I'd bought the previous year no longer fit. For example, I'd buy a few things just to "get by" through another summer, and the following year - I'd have absolutely nothing that fit and would do this all over again. This has been going on for a few years now. This past year is the first year where I didn't lose much more weight (even though I'd still like to). We've had a very busy, stressful year of major change in our lives, so I'm just grateful to have mainted the weight loss so far. That said, last winter - I didn't buy much, because I thought, "Oh, I'll keep losing weight and nothing will fit for long." That didn't happen. So, again - panic as the weather changes and frantically buying stuff. Also - it was partially your purple tweed coat that inspired me to try the blue tweed one from Talbots. I'm still deciding on it. I'll see how I feel after I've gone through my closet.

Vix - your post made me laugh and there's a ton of useful advice in your post, as well as your blog. I especially like the suggestion to group neutrals in one area and colours in another and see what's going on there. I suspect that my colours are all over the place. Thanks for the suggestion to try and figure out if if it's the colours or the shapes that aren't working - ie. putting pieces together and seeing why/what's going on.

Whew - lots to think about in here, but I have to say I'm feeling so much better. Thank you all! How wonderful to be able to really flesh out the discussion around such a seemingly simple (not so simple for me yet) idea: "Always think about how the piece will integrate into your wardrobe." <--let me get the wardrobe part sorted first, and THEN I can work on making sure new purchases "integrate."

Sara

Vix

Veteran

VC --

Before I forget, thanks much. All advice given on this topic learned the hard way, so have no fear that you'll get it figured out if I could!

Next: I feel like I've said this on a few threads lately, but I feel like you're being too hard on yourself. Having worked-for weight loss that makes each season's clothes fairly useless is one of those good/arrrrgh situations!

No wonder you're all over the whole small, flexible wardrobe thang. I'd say you are definitely going to have to be especially ruthless about following all the "purge/pack away or donate" advice upthread. And about trying to make every piece count and play well with as many others as possible. [<--- Pressure!] Don't want you topless under that trench or blue coat!

Have you searched the YLF archives for posts on packing for vacation/vacation capsules and/or strategies for dressing through weight loss? Know I've seen both....

Oh, one other tip --

You may be doing this already, but aside from a can-stand-alone dress, I (now!):

* keep the tags on something until I try it one with as many things as I can in the closet...if I can't make a few outfits from it, back it goes

* keep the tags on the new piece and drag my shopping shopping...if I can't get around to stores and/or finding something that works with the item within a month, I return it

Since you're rebuilding from scratch, I'd be even tougher with that timeline unless it's something you know you can wear for most of the year.

[It took me a while to realize that if it fit and I liked it BUT IT SAT IN MY CLOSET without "completers" I didn't have the luxury of keeping it.]

Again, good luck/keep us posted!

Inge

(website)

VC: That does make perfect sense, and it can absolutely feel overwhelming if you need to buy quite a lot of things at once, and in a short amount of time. If you like, you could always post a pic of you wearing the tweed coat, or even the tweed coat next to a number of other wardrobe items if you can't decide if it goes with enough of your other clothes. (I still have a hunch it could be very versatile:-)

Kate

Veteran

I didn't read the book, but I can't keep myself from jumping into the discussion! There is already a TON of good advice here, and I know it's a lot go get through, but this would be my plan of action if I were in your position.

1. Stop buying things. Unless you're in need of a bra fitting. It's time to focus on what you already have.

2. Return anything that you bought more than 2 weeks ago and haven't worn yet (and can still return). If there's anything you can't bring yourself to return, you need to wear it in the next week. No excuses!

3. Start keeping track of what you wear. Makrame mentioned my spreadsheet post, but I think it's too early for you to bother listing everything you own. Instead, find a way to keep the clothes you have worn separate from what you haven't worn yet. Find a way to divide your closet and drawers into worn and unworn sections. If you can, try to wear something you haven't worn yet every day. If there's anything you absolutely cannot bring yourself to wear, get rid of it! If at the end of the day you hate an item that you wore, get rid of it! It doesn't matter how new it was or how expensive it was - if you don't love it when you wear it (or wear it at all!), it has to go! Sell these items on ebay, consign them, donate them, whatever. Just get them out of your life!

4. As you discover what you still need, write it down. After a couple weeks or months, you'll hopefully have gotten rid of a lot of items, and probably have found some holes. Maybe you truly hate cardigans, and are tired of wearing the same blazers all the time. Or you really need another pair of skinny pants. Or you got rid of all but 5 tops. Whatever the case, write down whatever it is that you still need, and include all of the conditions (must fit into black boots, etc.) that the items must meet.

5. Go shopping for what's on your list! If the item you need has to go with something you already have, wear the item you have when you go shopping.

6. While you're shopping, if you see something you love that isn't on the list, make a note of it. Then go home and think about it. Do you already have something similar? Does it work with the items you have and wear? Will you wear it right away? If you give it some thought, it's not a duplicate, it fits with your wardrobe, and you can wear it in the next week, go buy it.

7. Whenever you buy anything (except bras, panties, etc), before you cut the tags, create several different outfits with it at home, and post pictures on YLF! This will guarantee that it works with your wardrobe, and that it is worth keeping.

With a little bit of discipline, a more cohesive, usable, guilt-free, and HAPPY wardrobe is only a couple months away!

Anonymous

Wow, VC, THIS is where I should have spent my day (your thread) I have many of your issues and I read the comments as if they were for me too!

I have culled so many things that ithe rule "new purchases must work with other wardrobe items to create at least three different looks" would be a mathmatical impossibility!

I don't look great in black, but my best (non-denim) items are black trousers, a lined black skirt, a black blazer and a black trench. I didn't cull these items, but I feel like buying clothes to go with them isn't taking me in the right color direction.

So now I'm basically back to where I started: jeans and T-shirts. At least they're *better* jeans and T shirts and they really fit.! ....and at least I stay at home!

Hang in there, we'll figure this thing out together!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Yeah, this thread is very relevant to me, too, not least because I wound up on YLF partly because I'd lost a lot of weight and suddenly realized I had nothing to wear that fit me!

I had never really shopped at a consignment store and didn't even know one existed in my town until a couple of months ago. The one we have is not even a particularly good example, but even so I have found a couple of terrific items there at a very reasonable price. You might have similar luck. And you might be surprised at what they take. Mine took items from the Gap. Not old worn out items, but newish decent looking ones.

I did what Claire did; I purged a TON, and was left with...well...not a heck of a lot! But honestly, inconvenient as this sometimes is, it's also made me experiment with combinations I might never otherwise have imagined. Once you get rid of whatever doesn't fit you, then you'll know what you really have to work with. And then it will become easier to see what you truly need.

Since I'm in a similar place, just maybe a few months ahead of you on this journey, I wanted to warn you to try to be kind to yourself if it seems to take a long time to figure out some kind of style statement. After months of self-analysis and taking the pics, I still haven't figured that out completely, although I do have a clearer sense of my style direction. (I think). It's really a process (and your style will continue to evolve even after you pin it down) so try to enjoy the ride!

If you're still planning to lose some more weight, then Vix's suggestion to set yourself up with a virtual "travel capsule" is a great idea; think in terms of a really small wardrobe of items you love that fit your present body. Also, depending on the amount of weight you have to lose, some of them might continue to be useful later. I have a couple of items that I was able to alter to my present size. They were wardrobe workhorses before I lost weight and they still are, more than 30 pounds later!

Nova

I have been lurking here on YLF for a while now as I learn how to develop my own sense of style. I have learned so much reading through these threads and hearing about your own journeys and discoveries. Thanks for sharing.

qfbrenda

Veteran

What amazing advice in this thread!

I was just reading through the "failures" thread. You have some amazing "failures"! I left that in quotes because I wonder how many of those are true failures, and how many are things out of your comfort zone that you haven't figured out how to wear yet. You might consider taking some of those items and putting them together in outfits in picture form for us to see. We could help you decide what things work and which things don't. You might be surprised by how many aren't really failures at all. Of course, I'm saying this not knowing the sizing of those things. I know the challenges of trying to dress while losing weight. It's not easy!

krishnidoux

Veteran

This is a great thread, very rich in information and excellent advice. VC, what a good question you asked.

When I read your post it immediately sounded to me like you are stuck between styles that are incompatible in may ways, and are missing a couple of key basics in the new style. The current trends differ quite a bit in cuts and shapes than what was in say 5-6 yrs ago.

Not to say that your wardrobe is out of date, far from it, but that your tastes and likes have evolved in one direction, and your previous clothes don't match it anymore. It sounds like old pieces are preventing you from getting those 1 or 2 critical pieces that would fully bring you into the new style.

Let me explain: imagine pieces for something bohemian-romantic. Now imagine something for urban-80's inspired - tough chic. It would be very frustrating, if not impossible, to want to create the latter with only pieces from the first. Bohemian is all about lots of volume at the bottom, whereas 80's inspiration is the very opposite, volume at the top. OK gross comparison, but only to illustrate.

Black is a good start for a new wardrobe. However now you feel like you have already too much black and no options. Well if you were to get those critical basic pieces*, those few black pieces might suddenly make so much sense. Could it be that the pieces in question represent a bigger investment, an investment that would tie you more solidly to the new style, which creates a mental block? It's a difficult plunge I agree. But it only takes one key item sometimes.

*(a pair of jeans in a different color; a second pair of boots or ankle boots; a trapeze cardigan; a sweater-dress in the new shape you like and opaque tights; a blazer or 3\4 coat, or bomber jacket; a great, more upscale scarf; a great, more upscale belt; etc. etc. )

Purge: May I give you my humble advice on this? Rather than run to the consignment store, if you can get some blue bins and store what you don't want there for a while... because clothes is expensive and it might be that some of what you have will work into your upcoming wardrobe, but for now it only blurs your vision. Get them out of the way and forget them for a while, let yourself discover what it is that would close gaps.
It might be a cardigan! Only in a totally different shape, or fabric, or thickness \ thinness...

RE: KC black trench: have you tried rubbing a ''Fleecy'' -type sheet on it?

velvetychocolate

Veteran

The advice in here so so amazing and helpful - *thank you* !!

I am feeling a whole lot better about this thing than I did when I first posted, and now realize that there are a lot of different reasons I was feeling flummoxed, perplexed and sometimes even overwhelmed by this closet/wardrobe thing. Replacing things that don't fit. Figuring out what my style is. Not having some basics that might help etc.

Another interesting aspect is what krishnidoux brings up - you're right! A good example is me buying two paisley, slightly bohemian, sheer-ish blouses at Kohl's. Love the blue one, but the pink tank that came with the purple one causes 'grinning', and I don't have a dark purple or darker coloured tank to wear with it. At first, I only wore these with my skinny jeans and flats. The skinny jeans don't tuck into boots I have. Found some nice flares, finally - and challenged myself to try tucking the blouses in (a la Angie and Kari) - it worked! Until it got cold. I don't really have any blazers/jackets that will work, and the paisley seems to clash with my almost 80's looking KC trench. The bright red peacoat doesn't work too well either (laughing here...).

This thread has been so good for me! I am noticing several 'aha' moments and insights in the past couple of days as a result. Here's one: sometimes the things I buy are still slightly outside my comfort zone. A good example of this is me buying the green and black marble print dress last year after seeing it on Kari and not being able to find the grey. It was *such* a departure from my usual - it showed my shape, it had colour, it was WOW, instead of extremely conservative, baggy and 'quiet' if you will. Even my husband didn't like it at first. It hung in that downstairs closet for a year - I was going to donate it or give it to someone. I managed to get myself to wear it - paired it with a simple black boyfriend style cardigan, hose and flat black boots. Husband LOVED it, and I got a lot of comments from my family, even teasing. Interestingly, it's during this trip back home for a visit that Mom had me going for the ivory turtleneck, the brown tweed blazer, the pale button down shirts. <--sometimes a change in one's look can make others feel weird too, don't you think?

I am surprised, but this 'style' thing is turning out to be a lot deeper than I thought. It's not just clothes, or putting together outfits. It's almost like letting your self be seen. It's also an invitation to the world to communicate with you as you really are.

I think this is one of the reasons I like YLF so much - I find it amazing how YLF'ers are able to truly get to their own style, rather than boxing themselves into a specific, narrow category. I also like seeing people's style evolve - very neat!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

"this 'style' thing is turning out to be a lot deeper than I thought. It's not just clothes, or putting together outfits. It's almost like letting your self be seen. It's also an invitation to the world to communicate with you as you really are."

Brilliant. That's it, in a nutshell, and that's why it's such a challenge! Sometimes it's scary to be so "out there." And sometimes it's just difficult to find the elements and put them together in a way that really demonstrates who we are.

It sounds like you are really on your way, though! And this has been a great thread for many of us, so thank you for starting it!

san

Veteran

Great read everyone! Thank you for sharing. I certainly do identify my style progress with all of yours.

Vicki

(website)

Veteran

Velvetychocolate, I'm so glad I stopped by here again and reread everyone's comments. It really is a deep and interesting journey, isn't it?

Your comments just blew me away: "It's almost like letting your self be seen. It's also an invitation to the world to communicate with you as you really are." I can totally relate and found this so powerful.

I, too, am taking a harder look at what's hanging in my closet, especially after reading "Parisian Chic" and am gently purging items. I'm still feel new to my own personal style and Aida's and Rae's links have given me even more to think about., but I am getting more comfortable with it all. Having the world communicate with you is exciting and exhilarating as well as eye-opening and unknowing. We have to be ready for it all.