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Overload - do you ever feel like this?

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I had a few hours in the big city (Toronto) between a visit to my mother and my train trip home to Kingston.

I went shopping.

First I went to the flagship Bay store. Floods of memories...for two years, back when it was still Simpson's, when I was a desperately poor student, I worked on the main floor there during the holiday rush, selling wallets and then bath products....

I wandered around and looked at the clothes there. I saw some beautiful things. And other things I wasn't sure what to do with. And it was all....too much! I just couldn't handle the sheer amount of STUFF.

I was longing to have Angie with me. I know from the reports of those of you fortunate enough to have shopped with her that she has an absolute unerring eye for the GOOD stuff.

I would have tried on, just to get a sense of shapes, proportions, etc. but I was seriously too overwhelmed even to try!

So I went outside and walked down Queen Street. Far down, to the funky shops. Even there I was pretty much stunned. In some cases by the prices. In others, by the not-fabness of some of what I saw, and in still others by the amazing fabness!

I ended up buying a skirt, which I will show in the next day or two. And although I really need quite a lot else, I just couldn't manage it.

Does anyone else ever feel this way? Now I remember why I didn't like shopping for so long. I think it is easier if you live in a city; when I lived in Toronto I actually enjoyed shopping; it is only since I moved to smaller place that I have found it awful. But this made me think that there is a reason people patronize small selective boutiques!

Shopping

35 replies

Latest reply was from krishnidoux

Nakidra

Veteran

ME, ME, ME!!! I can totally relate! Since I don't shop very much in real stores I do the very same thing. I'm pretty good at zeroing in on what looks good on me, but once I try things on and they don't look right I just get outta there! When I was younger and had more time and lived in the City withing walking distance of stores it wasn't a big deal. But now that I'm in the burbs and rarely get a chance to shop without a diaper bag or a screaming kid I feel like I have to cram everything into one shopping session. (and apparently I feel the need to cram everything into one sentence as well tonight!)

ironkurtin

Veteran

Yep. When I used to walk into Macy's or Bloomingdales in NYC my blood sugar would instantly drop, and I would get incredibly depressed and have to leave. So much stuff, so much of it hideous, and all of it too expensive! I get a little squirm even now thinking about it.

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

I know how you feel! I had a few hours in NYC in June and walked away with an H&M denim jacket. I almost never get out to shop bricks and mortar stores so the whole experience was overwhelming at first. I still really enjoyed touching stuff that I only read about in blogs and experiencing some stores that we don't have where I live. These days I find it helps me to have an idea of what I want before I head out to a store. I might get distracted and discover something else along the way, but at least my shopping has a focus.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Oh ME, Suz ... there's always so many things pulling at my heart strings!

I am getting a little bit better now; I can even venture into Winners now

Kyle

Veteran

Yes, I have felt this way many, many times. Don't get discouraged!

Patty

Veteran

The Bay does it to me every time Suz!

anne

Veteran

Absolutely!! I live in a small town with relatively limited shopping options too. When I last went to a Mall in the city I didn't buy anything at all the first day and had all your feelings of being overwhelmed (and I had a clear shopping list, so I wasn't unfocused). I had to get everything I wanted in only 2 hours the next day.

I used to work in the city and like others of you, windowshopped and browsed in some of my lunchbreaks. While I still had trouble committing to actually buying something even then (an even stricter budget than now part of at the reason) at least I could spread out the experience into small parcels

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Oh, thank you! I don't feel so alone!

Anne, you've hit on one big reason. The difficulty is feeling as if I have to do ALL the shopping at once. Especially now, when my wardrobe is basically one big hole, LOL.

I really was grateful for my list, though, and I have to give a shout out to Astrid for that. Remember her "minimalist wardrobe essentials" thread? She made a list of the things she figured that she'd absolutely need. I got busy and reinterpreted her list for myself and it is with that list that i went out into the world, and it's the reason I came away with a print skirt that I hope to show you tomorrow. Without that list it would probably never have occurred to me how useful an item this might be to me; WITH the list it was in my mind and when I saw one, I pounced!

D'Ellen

Veteran

Suz, I know exactly what you mean! I live in a small town with limited shopping possibilities. Whenever I go to the nearby (not so) big city to shop I get completely overwhelmed. I've tried limiting myself to a few stores, or a few departments in the larger stores, but I still end up hyperventilating...just too much stimulus. For many years I shopped mainly online for this very reason. But post-menopause my shape has changed, and it seems sizing has changed, my ratio of returns has greatly increased, and I'm tired of paying shipping and return shipping only to end up with nothing.

Lately I've been doing most of my shopping at two local boutiques. The slightly higher price point is, for me, an acceptable trade-off for a less stressful shopping experience. Another bonus is that I've become well acquainted with the owners and SAs, they now know my style and I can trust their opinion on whether something suits me. And I love shopping "where everybody knows my name"!

Anonymous

Yes, everytime I step into a large department store or the mall!
The pressure you felt must have been incredible. I think you have to be in the mood/right frame of mind to shop and when it's not fun, it's best to quit while you're ahead.
That said, I'm glad you're back, Suz; we missed you on the forum!

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Yes, me!!! This is part of the reason I didn't go clothes shopping for 5 years (before that I got most of my maternity clothes from one store--Japanese Weekend). I would walk into stores and just be overwhelmed with all the stuff and not know where to start looking. It took a while for me to overcome my shopping phobia. Angie's list of NAS picks really helped me out to get started, and then I browsed the website (less threatening than walking into the store) and made a list of things I wanted to try. I asked one of the SA's to help me find the things on my list, tried them on, and after that...well, I just took off! I agree, it's helpful to have a list of things you need in your wardrobe to keep you from feeling lost. And I really like browsing websites of the stores before I go in to narrow things down. So you're not alone!!! Just do a little at a time...you've got some great stuff already!

Maggie

I completely understand. I recently went to HongKong, and my parents urged me to shop. And that city is made for shoppers! There are just way too much stuff I couldn't find a thing. Plus the exchange rate was confusing me, I didn't know if things are cheap or expensive. I think I need a personal shopper.

Elly

Veteran

I have this problem, but for me it isn't something I have dealt with forever and is part of my medical problems--- I can't handle being over stimulated and having to think at the same time. LOL.

Suz--- I think part of it is a mindset. You have a few really beautiful pieces (your red coat, your sheath, ect.) and you also work from home (right?) so although you are practically running around naked, you do have some leeway in how quickly you have to fill up the closet. I think the less desperate your mindset is about filling holes the more you will enjoy it and the more you will enjoy the pieces you fill the holes with .

krishnidoux

Veteran

Yes, I relate entirely too.

Especially when coming back from postings in less affluent countries. Then I must take it in little by little. I get dizzy and nauseous.

But now that I am somewhat desensitized, what strikes me is the repetition of products, all the same everywhere, and how cheap too. There seems to be very little range difference in quality and diversity.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I don't think I feel overwelmed but after shopping online for a prolonged period I do feel I have lost the ability to spot those drapey gems which have no hanger appeal. For instance I bypassed this dress until I saw its potential when modelled.

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Astrid

Veteran

Wow, Suz, thanks for the shout out! How long is your list? I'm glad I could inspire you to do something like this! Any chance we could see it? (Or have I missed a post on this?)
I just wanted to say, I'm often feeling overwhelmed too. It's the sheer masses of clothing that dicourages me when I go shopping. But like you said, my list really helps! I'm much quicker to decide if I want to try something on when I see it AND I try some things that fit my list but I wouldn't have thought of trying before. Although I sometimes get sidetracked all the same when I see something gorgeous that doesn't fit my list or the life I lead. But I'm always quick to remind myself since creating the list.

ButterflyLady

(website)

Veteran

I also get overwhelmed - it's so disappointing when you get the chance to shop, and then just can't

And I have discovered that, despite being a serious list maker, lists don't work for me for clothes. I feel more inspired if I see clothes, and can touch them.l I've found some of the best shopping I've done has been when I've just been walking through a store not looking for anything, and spotted something out of the corner of my eye!

Kafe

I definitely feel this way. Even with a list, I get to the mall (which is rarely) and then can't seem to focus as I maneuver through the maze of clothes and every other item, sight, and sound that is supposed to stimulate our senses but basically overwhelms me.

This weekend I went to a big mall about an hour from me and it was like the days before Christmas! It was unbelievably packed and people were bustling about with bags in hand. It took 20 minutes to find a spot to park and then the crowds herding through the mall.... (shudder). I did get the one bra I went to get, although in a different store than I had intended.

missvee

Veteran

Once I went to Paris and thought I might get a new bathing suit at Printemps, one of their lovely department stores. I asked the sales assistant where they were and she told me the floor number. When I got off the escalator I looked around and the entire floor was bathing suits - thousands and thousands of them!!!! You can guess how many I bought - none. I could have spent my whole holiday right there!
Now when I shop I try to focus on one or two items and it's easier then to scan the racks and shelves for suitable options. And I really like the small boutiques too.

ironkurtin

Veteran

It's odd, now that I think about it, that I have this reaction in some stores and not others. I never had this response at Century 21, which is also huge, maybe because I started shopping there when It was smaller and sortof grew with it. I think that's true of many of my favorites, actually.

I might have a diffent response after 3 years in Austin, though. By LA/NYC standards, the "big" stores here are tiny!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I am a city girl and have a lot of shopping stamina, but sometimes I feel this way too!

In the last year, I have narrowed my shopping from what I used to do when I was younger. Way back, I used to feel like I had to walk into every store, just to see what options were there. I think I was afraid I'd miss something. Well, now I've narrowed down so much that last week I thought, "I should get out of Nordstrom for a change and walk through the rest of the mall." Part of my motivation was the search for the elusive perfect faux fur vest, and the decision ended up being a good one, since I found it in Macys, where I don't shop much anymore.

Along the way, walking through the mall, I decided to stop in some places I rarely if ever shop. Banana Republic, for example, ended up being a good choice, despite my fear that it would all be too boring or conservative for me, since I found a couple of good basic replacement items.

But then I stopped in a new store, just for grins, and immediately felt that overwhelming feeling that turned me off. The store was Charming Charlie, and I know it's popular with some of the fashion bloggers for it's huge variety of color-organized accessories, but to me it was a jumble of garish goods. I had a vague idea I might find a cute animal print scarf there, so I took a quick tour through, but left quickly, empty handed, feeling almost assaulted by all the visual stimuli.

And then I walked past Abercrombie & Fitch and nearly gagged from the fumes from there, which is a whole other rant. How does anyone stand to walk in there? Clothespin on nose?

I think sometimes I'm better at putting on blinders than others. Sometimes when I'm out to shop, I'll be very focused and can easily ignore the extraneous distractions. Other times I feel much more sensitive to all the excess, whether it's music, jammed full racks of merchandise (another peeve of mine), etc. I'm not sure why, but when I feel like that, I take it as a cue it's time to leave.

Queen Mum

Veteran

definitely! I feel exactly like Elly... " I can't handle being over stimulated and having to think at the same time." This is why I end up doing so much returning. I don't make myself weed down too much in the store. I bring it home and do the thinking here. (which would also explain some of my "what was she thinking!?", keep or return posts

And my poor husband is even worse. I took him to Kohl's the other day to find some shirts. Mind you , *I* did most of the looking and sent him into the dressing room with about a dozen items. He finally emerged after trying only about half of it on, clearly rattled. "I am done dear... I can't think... this is too much!" LOL.. I calmed him down, we weeded out a few things, and told him we need to buy the rest and bring it home and decide.

I can understand how hard it must be for you ladies who don't have shopping nearby.

Patty

Veteran

Despite the fact that I really only have a narrow band of stuff I am interested in/or will fit (in general) and narrow again in the envy but not me stuff I will still often end up in a messy panic attack--especially if I am alone--so I don't do it.
Once again I hate the Bay for this!!

Anonymous

I'm a "foster mom" for a little kitty right now who has a cold. I went into Target today to get him a humidifier, and I got completely and totally overwhelmed. Did I want warm mist, cold mist, warm/cold mist, adorable frog shape, plain box???

I bought a bottle of wine and left in a panic.

My neighbor loaned me a humidifier. Kitty is curled up next to me, all is well! Whew!

Here is his bio if anyone is interested. He is all about love, love, love, all the time. He rocks the orange fur look and he doesn't have any fashion fears. He says all of you ladies are visual feasts! Purr!

http://www.austinpetsalive.org.....=14125103#

Queen Mum

Veteran

Alicat- you made the right choice

Anonymous

ha ha, thanks, Kim!

D'Ellen

Veteran

Red...or white?

Suz

(website)

Veteran

SO interesting to read your replies. Thank you so much. I now feel in very good company! And Alicat, the bottle of wine was absolutely the right choice! (Although, knowing me, I'd even have a tough time picking THAT!!)

Anonymous

I bought Seven Daughters red blend so I wouldn't have to choose a grape!

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