Great topic here, Irina.

I must admit I cringe when I read or hear a woman say: "I'm not tall enough...or slim enough ...or young enough...or whatever...to wear that". According to who? (whom?) Or "I cannot wear that color I love because it doesn't flatter my face." For me, at 71 now, it isn't a color next to my face that make me look old...it's my FACE that makes me look old. Those wrinkles. There's nothing wrong with those wrinkles or looking old! The thing is, nobody cares how old I am. Or what I wear. Or how I wear my hair or what color or cut it is. or what shoes I have on. Only I do, and that's fulfillment enough for me. So my unpopular opinion would be: women should stop trying so hard.

Adding this: Because no one else cares what we look like, not really, why not give ourselves permission to just wear what we want and please ourselves? I am questioning the whole premise of having to "look good", not just for the male gaze, but for any gaze. It frees our creativity, and I think, pleasure as well.

I think I overall agree, Judy, but if we weren’t trying at all we probably wouldn’t be here on the forum. I am trying to do as well as I can without doing any Botox, plastic surgery or hair dye. Obviously there are women on the forum who do either all those things or possibly Botox and hair dye but not plastic surgery. So while your opinion has a following in society, I agree with you that overall that opinion is unpopular. There would not be the billions spent on beauty products if your opinion was mainstream.

If I sound crabby and angry I apologize . I’m feeling overwhelmed and stressed and tired these days .

Carla , I admire your attitude toward your body ; you are fortunate to not have allowed the noise of the fashion world and media cloud your confidence . Kudos .

I fully support the Angie mantra of do your own thing. I love what KKards said about this community helping us to find our North Star. Which is a tribute to Angie’s leadership, of course.

Jonesy, I loved (and miss) your posts. And I honestly don’t think there is a bias against oversized looks here. Classic tailoring is always going to have the biggest following - that’s why it’s classic. I think in discussion sometimes people are honest about how they feel about a look ON THEM - and another person who likes that look can take it as a criticism of them. In fact, it might be a compliment because the reason why they tried the look in the first place is because they liked it on someone else. Not sure if I’m making any sense here.

With the issue of colours, I’d like to gently pushback on the idea that wearing a flattering colour near your face is about looking younger. For me it’s about looking healthy. One of my style priorities is to look healthy. Sometimes projecting an image that is fit (for my age) and healthy can help me feel more positive about myself. Fake it until you make it. I don’t want to wear a colour near my face that makes me look tired or requires me to pile on the makeup to address that. I don’t want people telling me “you look tired today”. I dream of being called radiant. I would like to project energy. So I generally try to keep the “bad” colours away from my face. I don’t feel like this has anything to do with looking younger or courting the male gaze or whatever. I actually think most women value the opinion of other women much more than the opinion of men. Hence this forum! But that’s a whole other discussion.

Sorry for being here sporadically today. We are on babysitting duties
Jonesy, I agree with you 100% on the comments on oversized clothing - sloppy and shapeless are common.

Incredible thread Irina. I had so many thoughts and reactions reading it that I have sort of lost track honestly.
I basically agree with most of the points you and others raised. I dress primarily for my own gaze and have always felt uncomfortable attracting the male gaze for a variety of reasons. If that means wearing colors or silhouettes that are unconventional well obviously I will do it. Many of my clothes are dated by the very nature of their being old or possibly vintage and it does not concern my at all.
I love detecting patterns and finding odd juxtapositions and that is why I follow fashion, and love finding old stuff that winks at the new.
Like Jenni I noticed your distinction between taste and style (taste is my focus this year) and understand what you are saying, although I do think some aspects of taste do change with age and experience.
Finally Jonesy I remember you well of course and would be absolutely delighted if you ever feel like posting you outfits again.

I want to add that I agree with LJP on a labeling something as dated. I believe that an outfit can look dated. For me, it’s not an item but a combination, how an outfit styled might look dated. So, no, skinny jeans are not dated, they might be styled in contemporary or dated way.

Well, this is a lively read! I have enjoyed reading others' "unpopular" opinions. I agree with some and not with others. And have my own unpopular ideas for sure! Or at least I have my own arguments with various fahion "rules."

Mostly I echo Irina's comments about fit. I wish we were all taught about this early in our lives in a far less judgemental way than it has been taught for generations -- no body shaming or figure shaming but simple discussions of proportions, drape, and motion. The book that Janet recently recommended (Claire McCardell) was fantastic on this -- her instinct for it and her determination to make women feel good in their clothes and wear clothes that would work for them is hugely inspiring.)

I also agree 100% with Angie's points about attitude and approach, and colour. As well as with everything Brooklyn said -- I, too, try to choose colour for my own psychological reasons vs. any others -- I know what makes me happy and what lights up my eyes and skin and it's more fun to wear those colours than others for me. I don't want to dictate to anybody else. Except to say, wear what makes you happy!

Also, Jonesy, you are beloved here and your outfits are AMAZING!! Come back, come back.

In a forum as varied as this one, there will always be differing opinions. I think that's great! I also love to look at different styles than my own! It would be so boring if everyone looked and dressed the same.

My own possibly controversial opinion here is that a variety of styles are represented here. Perhaps not at all times (it does shift over the years).and people often lurk rather than posting. But goldenpig does not dress like Irina does not dress like Dee does not dress like Jenni does not dress like Sal. True, there may be more (broadly speaking) classic dressers here than other types -- but as Brooklyn said, that's going to be true most places that appeal to our general age-group and demographic.

But while people may occasionally express a strong preference for or against this or that (be it body con clothes, skin showing, or oversized looks or black or brights), they are usually talking about themselves. At least that is the spirit in which I try to take such comments.

True, we can feel very sensitive about these issues sometimes. Style is so personal, and many people come here after some sort of fashion difficulty or body shaming or some other related issue. So we sometimes hear something as a personal criticism that is not meant that way at all.

The fashion "rules" (not the YLF rules but the ones "out there" in the ether) that most get under my own skin and that I would most like to contest are:

• mutton dressed as lamb. (I like playing with trends. So sue me!)
• grey hair is automatically aging
• "aging" is necessarily a bad thing and hiding it is necessary
• classic is perforce boring
• every blazer is "corporate"
• you can't look elegant or sophisticated in colour

Okay, here goes with my unpopular opinion. The whole idea of “dressing for the male gaze” makes me squirm with discomfort. That being said, I work in a very male dominated area of the law. When I first graduated from law school over 30 years ago, I would attend functions in my practice area and often be the only woman in a sea of dark suited older men. I very quickly realized that while I recoil at the thought of dressing for the male gaze, I could not ignore the gender imbalance of my practice area and absolutely had to read the room in my sartorial choices, because it was a real challenge to be respected in my field as a young woman practicing law 30 years ago. Fortunately, we have made a lot of positive strides in the legal profession, but I can say with certainty that I dress more conservatively and in more classic styles because of my early years in practice. Maybe I could have been more insistent about forging my own style path, but on the other hand it could have had significant career consequences. Now that I am older and far more established, I have more fashion freedom at work, but still keep most of my creative dressing for the weekend.

JONSEY!! So thrilled to see you posting!

Ha, Rock, I had a similar experience in 1987, 2 years after graduating. We moved to a regional area for 18 months and at the Continuing Medical Education meetings I was shocked to find almost no female GPs. I went to medical school in our country’s largest city and females were one third of our class so I didn’t feel alone. I was incredibly lucky at one of the dinners though because a rather distant relative of my husband’s was the speaker, and he chose to sit me next to him at the dinner table! We had heaps of fun and I think all the male doctors were wondering who this upstart young woman was! All the men were in dark suits. I think I wore a dress probably.

I agree with Suz that a variety of styles are represented here. Off the top of my head, I can’t think of any 2 forum members who dress in a very similar way. I see much more homogeneity out in the real world.

This is a wonderfully interesting topic. As an older woman with long hair I have heard several comments about the fact that older women shouldn’t wear long hair. My own hairdresser asks to cut it shorter every time I go. I will wear my hair however I wish.

Peri-I have heard the pink talk before and I think it’s silly. If you want to wear pink wear pink. I am certainly going to wear it.

I truly believe you can wear black and not look older than you are. The contrast of black against silver hair is striking. Irinia had a good point about brightening your face.

One of my goals this year is to dress for me. I want to look put together and approachable but most of all I want to look like me.

*Kyle*, you summarize the issue very well in my opinion.
*Jonesy*, a lot of food for thought.
A lot of food for thought in general.

I do have a truly unpopular opinion, at least it has been with my family the couple of times I have expressed it: we all shop too much and have too much stuff. At start of 2025 I told the women in my family that I planned to buy 5-ish new things in 2025 and whether someone wanted to join me. This was not welcome at all and one of them was really pissed at me. I was surprised. I did not intend to accuse or guilt trip anyone, but I guess it did not come across this way.

In case anyone wonders, I bought 7 new things, so close enough to 5, I think. I did receive lots of hand me downs and gifts and bought a few used jewellery pieces. But what I am really proud of is that not a single time I brought this up with my family, friends or anyone really, not even internet forums

Edited to add: YLF is not focused in shopping and brands, that is part of why I like it and have been following from practically its beginning. But when I look at substack and so many bloggers are all about “it” items at crazy expensive (to me) price points…

I very much agree with SUZ, and do see a variety of different styles represented here on the forum. Maybe they seem more conventional and not always avant garde or alternative, but I'd be very happy to see more of those posted here as well. I also try not to let my own personal style biases get in the way of just appreciating another person's style expression. I think it offers us new ways of thinking about style, and I love that. Afterall, there are plenty of ways to be fashionable.

IRINA-Reference the rule of 3rds and proportions, IMO I think it can be helpful guideline for some but I don't see it as universal for everyone. Those who are petite and want to appear taller or more balanced may find it helpful but I'm much taller and some of my favourite outfits are often closer to a 50/50 split. So, I don't see it as the only path to achieve good proportions and style. It just depends on your goal.

Does everything have to be conventionally flattering to be considered fashionable? Nope, not in my opinion. There are plenty of styles, silhouettes and proportions that aren't conventionally flattering, but they certainly have their place in fashion. I think its great to be in this fashion era of DYOT, where personal style can be expressed in whatever way makes you feel more authentic and confident. I'm all for that!

Dee, the rule of thirds is not about conventional flattery. If this is what you mean.

Irina/Dee your points are actually such a great demonstration of the value of knowing the "rules" ... The rule of thirds can be used to create a balanced composition from a design point of view, OR can be "broken" to create a particular effect like shortening a line. In either case, knowing the rule is empowering. But deciding if and how to deploy the rule is entirely optional!

I disagree with you on variety of styles here. I don’t see it. We all in the world dressed differently from each other. It doesn’t mean different styles. There are more traditional and classic styles here. Negative comments about oversized clothes (sloppy ), neutral colors and monochrome (boring), wearing trends expressed in general, not on a personal WIW made me question, not once, my presence here.

Irina, I personally think you have amazing style and I find your posts inspiring! I think there’s always a challenge on forums like this - or in writing generally - to get the tone right in a comment expressing an opinion. Of course, “opinions” are not “facts”, though it’s not easy to remember that in the moment! But there should always be kindness and diplomacy, since it’s impossible to know how a strongly expressed opinion might land on someone else. I think the term is “yucking someone else’s yum” and I believe it should be avoided if at all possible.

Here is another unpopular opinion - there is nothing wrong with being interested in trends. I like following trends and don’t hide it. Doesn’t mean I want to buy into all of them but wearing some carefully selected trendy pieces is fun for me. Here is one example - I found barrel leg jeans intriguing. It took me time to find a right pair for me and to figure out the silhouette. Curious to see many forum members now wear this trendy cut.

Yes,Irina. Initially I was not going to like barrel jeans or mesh shoes. But I tried them and really like them. Trends have always been around, how often do we look back at times and are able to determine the years by how one was dressed. For example when Victorian dresses morphed into sleeker flapper styles as so well represented in shows like Downton Abbey.

IRINA- I saw you looking so fab in your barrels in previous posts that I actually went out and bought a pair a few months later. I've wore them several times in many of my previous WIWs. I don't think I would have considered them as seriously if I hadn't seen them on this forum. I really enjoy wearing them. Jorts, was also another trend that I jumped on to after seeing them featured here on YLF, maybe not conventionally flattering but I love them just the same.

Jonesy!

Oh there are comments ALL THE TIME , for example , " too much wardrobe churn" (that one hits me personally ) , that are going to land with an emotional impact on someone. But we all have to remember and acknowledge: the world of fashion is both an art and a business and taps into every single human emotion there is. We all buy clothing for different reasons and there is not a single person out there who is immune from having their most personal experiences/thoughts affect what they buy and wear.

Irina - I too love trend watching, and am happy to buy pieces I want to try that move the needle for my style . Micro/Tik Tok trends don't interest me because I'm past that stage of life.

Sorry if I sounded cranky. I should’ve delayed posting my comments until after I had coffee

Jonesy! Thrilled to see you post, and I will chime in with agreement that we need your style here! Even though we may not have had the same style, I always found inspiration in your posts. I suspect I’d find even more so these days as my “flattering” standards for myself have loosened.

Ok, my unpopular opinion for today, if we are truly going there, is that is ok to shop. It’s not inherently bad to spend some money and add items we love to our wardrobes. Indeed, I like to support designers and shops that are doing work I appreciate. There has been an occasional undercurrent online — and a justifiable one in a hyper-consumerist time — of disapproval of shopping/buying. I am all for being mindful and responsible, as well as a thoughtful consumer when it comes to environmental and social concerns of retail therapy. But everyone needs to find their own personal balance that makes sense for them. One person’s threshold and standard of responsibility is not the same as another’s, and I don’t pass judgment on anyone who shops far more or far less than someone else.

I share this unpopular opinion, Janet. I also enjoy hearing why forum members decide not to shop or buy. It is healthy for me to reconsider and reevaluate my behaviors from time to time, and the forum helps me do this.

Thanks for this posting, Irina, it’s been interesting to get to it this late and hear US rock a discussion without breaking out the fire extinguisher. Maturity is fab.
Hello, JONESY! Loved your outfits, we all seem to remember them fondly.
I’ve been keeping my GLP weight loss on the down low, but it has sparked some insight into my own fashion choices, and even aging.
I adore oversized looks (am about 5 feet tall) for their comfort, and the freedom to move around the world with less attention from men. I still wear oversized, but had to buy new clothes of the same types in smaller sizes. So frankly, no one has noticed that I am back to my pre-menopausal weight except my husband and a couple friends.
My best friend and I are both much thinner, and swapping clothes around and still have the same tastes and dislikes that we had before.
We do look better in our clothes, which is great, but not the reason we did it. Nice side benefit.
I was fine with being sturdy, lol, and I am fine with being thin.
At 67 and 70 respectively, mobility, energy, and simply breathing better are very, very desirable goals.
Dressing the healthy body is a joy.

Irina are you saying you mainly see traditional and classic styles here on the forum? I feel like Suz, that no-one here really dresses especially like each other. Clearly you don’t agree with that? And Jonesy also felt her style doesn’t “fit in”?
I think almost everyone here would have felt criticised at some point with what they feel like wearing. It’s the nature of differing opinions. I certainly attempt to be kind although have been accused in a message of being unkind. You can’t please all of the people all of the time!

I do honestly think that 98% of the posts and posters here are trying to be helpful and kind and that we should assume that.

One thing we used to add for outfits was "Öutfit Lab" when we wanted constructive help on an outfit, and how to improve it. That can be helpful direction.

It's a balance between providing feedback to someone that is helpful for them and being critical. If I say I am trying to minimise my new pieces in, or that I am over a style of shoe, I know others can think that there is an implied critique of their closet size, or if they still want to add this shoe style in.

Like others have said - I welcome diversity here - and I love seeing people wear things that I don't wear myself for all the reasons.