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Ouch. A candid sideview

anne

Veteran

A photo taken yesterday after I had woken at 7.42 and made it to parkrun for 8! Just grabbed what gear I could find.
Bad clothes aside, I was unhappy about the big arms and thighs, mummy tummy and invisible bust. How do others dress with these challenges?

IMPORTANT ETA

For anyone coming on to this thread at a later stage

I was having a bad day and saw my body in this pic in a way on that day that may have not really accorded with reality. There are lots of wise responses below about this.

I was to emphasise that I am a healthy weight, and that I'm often much happier about how I look.

Even when I wrote it though, I meant that my arms/thighs were big proportionally, and my bust is small proportionally. These are dressing challenges that I face, and that was what I was looking for help with.

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Dressing

46 replies

Latest reply was from Helena

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Anne, I don't see what you see. I see a strong, slim, fit, healthy looking woman! In fun colours.

Emily K

(website)

Veteran

Can we focus on the fact that you got out there and got it done?! Good job! Also, I think you look healthy and fit.

Runcarla

Veteran

What Suz said. FWIW, the shorts and posture have an effect.

Do you remember when Helen Mirren in a red bikini was making headlines? She was 60 something, and looking amazing? It was a candid photo, but she, herself suggested that the photographer had got her at a good angle and in motion.

Put your hand on your hip then press your elbow back, turn slightly so you show 3/4's, drop your chin, and think a happy thought! Snap!

Mochi

Veteran

What Suz said.

unfrumped

Veteran

I think you look fabulous!
But, I don't mind the idea of gear that goes in or out at just the right places! I don't take the time to do that and think maybe I should- sometimes it can be motivating.

anne

Veteran

Thanks everyone. I have to admit that the photo does look better as you see it here cropped than the original crowd shot where I was standing next to a young slim German girl!
And Emily K. Yes. I try never to let clothes etc stop me exercise. I often go to the gym with my hair out. OTOH, I have missed a lot of exercise the last fortnight from a cold and sore shins, and it has a bad effect on my nerves.

UF I do own somewhat nicer gear but couldn't find it. Some was in the wash.

Its very hard for women like me to lose weight off our arms and thighs, despite doing weights and cardio.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Anne, you look super fit! I agree with Suz. And you look great in your WIWs, too.

Anonymous

I look exactly like you Anne. We look awesome! ;0)

Joyce B

Veteran

I don't see anything wrong, I agree with everyone that you look healthy and fit.
Sometimes we can be our worst critics.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

You are way slimmer than many of us and it's partly because you DO exercise more than some ( than me, certainly). Arms and thighs look strong. Bust- well, women get bigger busts in middle age if they get fatter. The glandular tissue becomes fat replaced after menopause especially. That's why they get better pics on mammograms after menopause. So exercise and being slimmer is keeping your bust smaller. Can't have both perhaps. As a 20 year old or so I was a NZ/Aus size 10 with A cup, now much heavier and size 14 with a C cup. One benefit ( ?) of weight gain ! Cheers.

Gigi

Veteran

Anne, I think you look great. You look strong and toned.

Sal

Veteran

You look fit and toned. Exercise is a mental health boost as well as a physical health boost!

K.M.

Veteran

I agree with the above comments--I think you look beautiful, slim, and fit in the photo.

You mentioned mommy tummy and it made me think that, at least for me, many of the hang-ups about my body are related to how it changed after pregnancy. I haven't changed clothing sizes, but my shape changed (e.g. went from a 32B to 34A, hips are wider, stomach is not flat anymore). Since I became a mom late-ish in life, it's weird that I used to be a certain way all my life and now I'm not anymore.

And my feet grew a half size! As a short person I did NOT like that.

Bijou

Veteran

Gorgeous Anne, you look fantastic, fit, healthy, strong and a fun person. Like KM my body changed after pregnancy and also being in my 40's, I think the body changes. Now I have sort of accepted it and my goal is to be healthy. I don't have to look fantastic in gear or my bathers (and yikes - I even wear a bikini - even with the mummy tummy). It is OK to not be perfect and the more that we accept ourselves, it makes it easier for others to do the same. I just want to participate without hang ups or worrying about how I look.

However, Runcarla, love the tips on how to take a good photo, I will have to practice my "Blue Steel" pose!

Andrea H

I also think you look lovely and fit, but I know unflattering camera angles can be a downer. Got a glimpse of myself in a video at work from behind, wearing a pair of scrubs that are a little too big, and I swear I looked like I was wearing a diaper. Felt super frumpy and unattractive the rest of the night. I mean, as opposed to how gorgeous I usually feel in too big scrubs

Staysfit

Veteran

Wow! I think you look fit and fabulous! I don't even know what mummy tummy is? We have become so objectified as women that it is hard not to judge oneself harshly as you have done. I think our internal sense of self is much more important than the external reality. Your confidence goes a long way in what people will see when they look at you, regardless of what you wear, or your body shape.

RobinF

Veteran

I think you look great! Good for you for getting out there and running!

krishnidoux

Veteran

OMG you look so good to me!

Arms: fit, healthy, lovely, with nice definition. And also in a bent position, which will cause any normal arm to pump up a bit, which is why bodybuilders bend their arms to show off.

Thighs: so fit! So toned! The thighs of a runner. Some people workout like mad to get lovely, strong legs like yours.

Mummy tummy and bust: what mummy tummy? You mean you are a mom! You are in great shape. I don't see the tummy you mention, but you might mean your stance: it's because you are hunching slightly. Despite this being a good shot of you, one can't evaluate your body shape solely from this pic.
I see waist definition, I see a lovely neckline, shoulders, and a proportionate, trim, strong, slim body of someone who is active, who is out there, and who could wear LOTS of styles successfully.
I see fun, comfortable, sensible workout clothes. If I met a girl like this in a marathon or an event, I'd certainly want to become her friend because she looks like she's got it, like she's fun and she likes to do things

cindysmith

Veteran

You look great, fit and healthy and beautiful

approprio

(website)

Veteran

I concur - you look amazing! Fit and fab. Nothing to worry about. I wish I looked that good in my running gear

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Anne, to quote Angie, what are you smoking?? You look amazing. I can tell your arm is pressed against your side, which will always make arms look bigger, but the picture shows you are perfectly fine and fit as you are.

There is a reason I don't share candid shots of me in my running gear -- it does favors to no one but fitness models.

kkards

Veteran

OMG...here's what i see....a wonder women who is setting a fabuolous example for her children. one who works to provide food and shelter and puts time and effort into her health and welfare.

Tisa

I really don't see a problem with you body, Anne. You look strong and toned, fit and healthy.

There's not just one beautiful body type. Body beauty isn't defined only in measurements, but also in what a body can do. I have a friend who's a ballet teacher. She has strong thighs, she's not tall. She doesn't have the stereotypical ballerina body measurements. But when she moves, she's so graceful and skilled that there's no doubt in anyone's mind that her body is amazing and perfect. Even when she's just standing still, she owns her body, and that's really beautiful to see.

In your photo I see a cool woman with a fit body, who just had a good time at a fun event.

If you really want to nitpick and change something about your body, then straighten your back, pull your head up, pull your shoulders apart and open your chest.
There's no reason not to show your body off a bit. After all it allows you to do so many things, it just completed a parkrun! A good reason to be proud of it, don't you think?

But all in all that is a very minor thing, since everyone understands being tired after a run and therefore slouching a bit .

I hope you had a nice time at the event!

Aquamarine

Veteran

We never see ourselves like others see us. I've always thought you were a slim, athletic mother to three kids, here to work on her fashion groove like the rest of us. Period.

Anonymous

I'll add my voice to the chorus . I'm my own worst critic too , and I understand the feelings you experience looking at a photo you don't like . But hey - you can run still , which is not a given as we age , and I think you look like every other fit and slim runner out there . i only wish I looked that tiny in my workout gear ;).

Summer

Veteran

Echoing Suz and others: you look fit and healthy, suitably dressed, and with none of the body issues that you mention. Good for you for getting to park run and keeping yourself fit.

Vix

Veteran

Hi Anne --

Hey, even in a less-than-ideal candid pose you look very fit and are walking (running?) the walk in terms of exercise!

I know you know that camera angles/lighting/body position can make or break a photo. *I* know it, but admit it gets to me.

In terms of exercise wear, I am VERY boring, usually, since I hate to spend money on it...but employ the same tips/tricks as with dressing.

So: darker colors worn top + bottom (imagine your purple top with navy or black shorts), few horizontal breaks (swap out your black socks for lighter-colored ones), performance compression wear for a little function + form help.

Also I think I remember you wear running skorts? I don't run unless something's chasing me or I'm chasing something, but I do prefer skorts to shorts for flattery.

Anonymous

Oh Anne, you look so cute! I think your smaller bustline is young and girlish looking and I wish I had your little feet and flat stomach! It's hard to see the whole package when you dial in on certain things but you look adorable!

anne

Veteran

Wow, thanks everyone. You have been so encouraging and I'm sorry for sharing my bad moment with you. Your kind words have been changing my reaction to the photo and it now doesn't seem nearly as depressing as it did when I posted it.

Sharan, Gigi, Staysfit, RobinF, CindySmith, Approprio, Janet, Kkards, Aquarmarine, Summer. Isobel thankyou,

Smittie - really? - I thought you looked way slimmer than me!

Joyce B you are right

Jenni NZ -thanks. Hopefully my exercise does make an impact, though it is probably mostly heredity, and possibly being celiac (only diagnosed 3 years ago) and not liking most chips or drinking much alcohol My diet could be better in other ways though. I guess when I go through menopause I'll see what happens in the bust area - but both mum and aunty stayed pretty flat (and relatively slim). Even with breastfeeding I didn't get very big. And now I'm pretty much flat down to the nipples (not so evident thanks to bras in most of my WIWs!)

I didn't really want to say that I was big - it was clumsily expressed. I think I was influenced by all the body type posts that have been around on the forum recently. - I just felt that a bigger bust would balance out the other parts of me. Fit wise it might help too - as I have the issue of things fitting either the shoulder/arms or the bust, but no both at once!

Sal - for sure it is a mental health boost

KM - thanks - and yes pregnancy does change things. I have some back fat that has never budged from my first one, Not the shoe size thing though!

Bijou "It is OK to not be perfect and the more that we accept ourselves, it makes it easier for others to do the same." Wise words and also made me think that I hope the responses here are making it easier for others, and mitigating any difficulties I may have created for any readers (for which I'm sorry)

Andrea H Thanks for sharing your scrubs diaper moment with me

Thanks for such a lovely detailed response Krish - and I'd want to be friends with you too (and I'm in awe of that workout you showed us a while ago)

Tisa - You are right posture does make a difference. I need to work on mine. I'm afraid this pic was from before the run though - I was all red and sweaty afterwards!

Lisap I appreciate your empathy. And yes I'm in a privileged position being able to run - and I've already had time off from it with injury etc to make me appreciate that. And yesterday I fell off my bike and have some quite big bruises on my leg, plus I'm having surgery on my foot next week, so I might not be able to do it again for awhile

Vix you always have such great practical advice. I like your ideas about

"So: darker colors worn top + bottom (imagine your purple top with navy or black shorts), few horizontal breaks (swap out your black socks for lighter-colored ones), performance compression wear for a little function + form help. So: darker colors worn top + bottom (imagine your purple top with navy or black shorts), few horizontal breaks (swap out your black socks for lighter-colored ones), performance compression wear for a little function + form help."

What do you advise about performance compression wear?

I did run most of the 5km, thought I walked a bit. Still getting over a cold.

I do have a running skort and it does look better, but I couldn't find it in my rush! I need to buy a shorter more fitted top to wear with it too, and not just for figure flattery reasons - but because I think loose tops are getting in my way when I exercise (not when running, but other things)

Thanks so much everyone!

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