OT: speaking of pic letdown & confidenc..FAB article

Isabel

Veteran

We ARE the norm and we look great as is. What is your puffy face moment ?

http://www.thedailybeast.com/a.....-judd.html

( THe original article: http://www.thedailybeast.com/a.....rance.html )

I will post mine later.

13 years ago

General

15 replies

Latest reply was from Isabel

Claudia

Veteran

Those comments attached to this article are so painful and appalling I am just gobsmacked. Something has to be done to stop this kind of scrutiny and cruelty towards women's physical appearances.

13 years ago

Isabel

Veteran

Yes. It is misogynistic, like Ashley claimed. And , I believe , it does come from our bombardment of visuals of women who are NOT the norm yet we feel that they are. It reminded me of the comments made to Shannon. I say all the time, those models on Sports Illustrated are genetic freaks, that is why they are on the cover. Otherwise we would all qualify for the cover.

One NEVER hears these comments about men. The piece is great, IMO, because it has gone viral and FINALLY people are talking about it in a big way.

So how do we even begin to change it ? I think that a place like YLF, goes a long way to start changing this. Women need to stand together and not attack and criticize one another. I think that we also need to talk to our daughters AND sons. One usually assumes that it is a man being sexists, but women are so cruel too. We turn on each other.

So can we make a pact that if we hear a woman putting down another woman for looks or body shape, that we will say something nice and try to stop it ? I will be so much more aware of this.

My "puffy face " moment coming up later ! We need to stop being humiliated and take control back. This is who we are.

13 years ago

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Not only are models "genetic freaks" but even THEY are Photoshopped! The expectations to look like models or celebrities are unrealistic and dangerous. Even the celebrities themselves don't often look like their photos.

I see a lot of younger people buying into these illusions, which is disturbing considering they all are well aware of how extensively photos are edited.

13 years ago

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

Thank you for starting a thread about this Isabel. YLF is a great place to have a discussion about this issue and it is not OT at all, in fact it gets at the heart of what YLF is all about. Fashion, fun, support, growth and bringing out the best in each other.

With all of the progress we have made as women (workplace, education, reproductive freedom) it is sad that there is more not less pressure on us to look perfect.

What is upsetting is that it is acceptable, "funny" or "smart-witted" to make mean comments about women. For example, my bf likes "Family Guy" and on a show the other night there was a joke about Melanie Griffith's extra skin. It showed her looking like an 80 year old with dramatic sagging jowls. So misogynistic. I could not laugh.

Last month I posted about the press calling Khris Jenner's outfit age inappropriate. Looking at it from Ashley Judd's puffy face perspective, this whole topic of how women of a certain age should dress is just another way of criticizing women based on their appearance. Misogyny. And younger women are being taught that it's ok even funny to talk about other women this way.

http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....ppropriate

13 years ago

christieanne

Veteran

She nails it in her commentary. The unrealistic expectations set up by the media/movie/PR folks are out of control and it rolls down through all areas of our lives.
Thank you for reposting this in YLF - I had read this online but it's great topic for us.

13 years ago

Isabel

Veteran

Coco, I just love your observation ! My little girl, 9, LOVED to watch iCarly. I sat and watched it with her and I was absolutely stunned by one of the "stars " and how means she was. She made fun of everyone, but her "witty" comments about female teachers' looks and other girls looks made me ban the show. I explained why to my daughter. I hope that she got it.

Women who play the "divas" on shows to be funny and admired completely condone this.

13 years ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Isabel, thank you for bringing this here. I believe Denise is right; YLF is one place we can start to address this kind of horrible misogyny.

Remember Angie's response to that Glamour piece about the jodhpur jeans? That attack was similar to the one on Ashley Judd.

13 years ago

ManidipaM

Veteran

I just don't get when and HOW it became acceptable behaviour rather than trashy tabloid speak to pull people down based on their appearance, whether inborn or donned (as in clothing, make-up, hair styling etc). How is *this* okay when calling people fat names or retard or paki is unacceptable?! It's on the same spectrum, IMHO --- personal and prejudicial.

It's sadly not even restricted to misogyny, though I must note the non-dominant often get the short end of the stick --- be they female, black or muslim. Remember the jokes about Michael Jackson? Yeah, sure he was eccentric and often courted absurdity, but still!

13 years ago

Deborah

Veteran

Isabel I saw a headline about this on our news this morning but I missed it as i had to leave for work, so i had no idea what had taken place. Thanks for bringing to this to my attention.

This highlights, once again for me, the wonderful community we are a part of here. The thing that is so appealing about YLF is how we can be open and honest with one another. We can 'reveal' ourselves in our WIW pictures, (warts and all) and there is such a deep appreciation for one another and our individuality. We can share insecurities and instead of them being used against us, we are encouraged and nurtured. I never feel like I am having to conform to anything here. There is not a woman here on YLF that I don't value and see as beautiful.

The problem re the comments about Ashley Judd is these people have trouble seeing 'real' beauty and thus make me suspect that it is the accusers who are the 'ugly' ones (on the inside). I didn't really notice anything different in the "puffy face" photo.. so do these people go looking for nasty things to say?!?

I think we have a responsibility in our daily lives to ensure that we show a different attitude to the women around us. We need to make sure (and I am sure we all do) that we demonstrate the same care, encouragment and compassion we show to each other here on YLF, to women we encounter each day whether it be a stranger at the supermarket, a friend, a mum at school, or a colleague, etc. I have a strong belief that leading by example is ne way we can change things. Woops, getting of my soap box now.... xxx

13 years ago

christieanne

Veteran

I'd like to think that the anonymous nature of most comment spots on blogs, websites, etc. leads to people being able to spew whatever idiocy comes to mind (that seems to be true in our local newspaper anyway) but sadly, you hear too much of this openly in conversation too.

I try to pay attention to my DD and her friends when they watch tv and movies to see if their conversation is leaning to critiquing body image but maybe they are too young still to have started that?

My niece went through this stage where she thought her calves and ankle were fat and ugly and wouldn't wear a skirt, shorts or crops and her mother was at her wits end. One day we were chatting and I asked her why she thought that and turns out she heard my mom and sister complaining about their own legs and she also knew her own body shape was similar to theirs (they are all tall rectangles) and she thought her own legs must be "bad" too. They hear us!

13 years ago

Claudia

Veteran

I just saw this and wanted to scream: The K-E Diet: Brides-to-Be Using Feeding Tubes to Rapidly Shed Pounds

http://gma.yahoo.com/k-e-diet-.....ealth.html

I am beyond gobsmacked. I actually feel sick to my stomach.

13 years ago

Isabel

Veteran

Claudia - WOW. I don't even know what t say about that article. It makes me so unbelievable sad. What are these women thinking ?

Deborah, I love your sentiment and Coco's, this place is the antithesis of that . I often think of what Manidipa asks, " How is this ok ? " What goes through someone's head that makes it appropriate.

Christieanne, I completely agree ! So what is it about certain people that hiding behind anonymity brings out the rage ? Or do they really think that they are being "witty".

My "puffy face" moment has actually been the last few months of being VERY bloated from my anti cancer meds. I have gone from a size 2/4 to 10/12. People sometimes will say things to me that insinuate it is my fault and that if I just diet or excercise more my weight will go down. Someone actually "recommended" to me that I have surgery to get it under control. I told him that I already had surgery, twice for cancer and that I would rather be big than terminal.

13 years ago

Meredith1953

Veteran

Great topic Isabel,
I admire Ashley Judd for calling the media out on their bad behavior. She is an articulate and lovely woman who has really helped get this issue out there front and center. It can be a pretty cruel world out there and I am glad to be part of a community that re-affirms and celebrates the unique beauty that we all possess.

13 years ago

Deborah

Veteran

I have been thinking about this all night and had to come back. The world has such a twisted idea of beauty. I took a look at Ashley's "puffy face" picture and seriously the woman looks beautiful. She looks healthy, and happy to me!

And Isabel I have never seen you look anything short of gorgeous in your posts.

We have got to get past these unrealistic perceptions of beauty. I love the example Helen Mirran is to women. We need more women in the public eye like her.

13 years ago

Isabel

Veteran

Deborah, thank you ! I am unaffected by this kind of stuff. I have been since I was a kid, but the fact that people somehow feel it is appropriate to say it aloud is just stunning to me.

So what is it going to take ? Women not buying magazines ? Writing to publications that allow this ? I don't know what the answer is. But somehow I do feel as if having the conversation and shedding a really big light on it is not enough.

I suppose that it makes me feel powerless as a woman....

13 years ago

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