OT: Need some good vibes - YouLookFab Forum

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OT: Need some good vibes

cciele

Veteran

Some of you may have noticed I've been on here sporadically since the summer, and I just wanted to update you on my situation.

I am in the process of getting a divorce, so things have been stressful around here. Anyone have any tips about being a single mom to two girls on a budget, please let me know!

Speaking of budget, I just found out today that my soon-to-be-ex is now unemployed (and I am making a pittance teaching music part time). And my oldest daughter has strep throat, my grandma died recently, and of course, my knee is not yet 100% functional.

Thanks for listening to my sob story; today was a pretty low day for me and I could use a few hopeful words and good vibes.

General

42 replies

Latest reply was from Angie

grewitch

It sucks that you have to go through that right now!

Just remember tomorrow is a new day and it can only get better from here. I'm sending you good ju-ju vibes from Saint Paul, wishing your daughter a swift recovery, yourself a sweet raise, and beneficial divorce.

Hang in there!

taylor

Veteran

Well ....then things can only get better!!

I was in your very shoes myself with 2 babies and it is indeed a struggle and many difficult days/months ahead as you all adjust. Focus on your children and you. Don't invest too much energy into your ex.....it is extremely draining.

Don't be afraid to ask family and friends for help...Most people love to give of themselves if they feel they can make a difference and help always makes a difference when you have young children...rely on your family if they are near...they are after all the closest people to you.

Things seem bleak and difficult now , but there IS a light and strength inside you that will usher you through this. Women are strong..trust me on this. LOTS of YLF support whenever you need it!

Karli

I can't even imagine how hard it is to go through a divorce, especially with kids. I would say accept the things as they are right now and try and stay positive knowing that every end is a new beginning, and what you will make of this new beginning is absolutely up to you! Wish you best of luck, wisdom, patience and quick recovery to your daughter:-)

Aida

Veteran

Sorry to hear this Cciele, sending you the happiest of vibes

MNsara

Veteran

cciele - sending {{{hugs}}} your way. Definitely a tough time to go through and all the other things piled on top -- that's really low. . .

Take care of yourself in all this. Your girls need a strong, healthly (inside and out) mom Surround yourself as much as you can with positive, supportive people (like YLF, but in the flesh and trust that there will be brighter, better days to come.

You will definitely be in my (positive) thoughts and prayers!

bella

(website)

Veteran

Big big hugs! I am sending you all the positive energy I can muster!

kellygirl

Veteran

Oh, Cathy, I'm so sorry. I'll be sending positive vibes your way.

Refugee

Veteran

Just wanted to send love your way. I've been there. Taylor's counsel is spot on. Treat yourself with kindness, my dear.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Oh, Cathy. My heart goes out to you. I am so, so sorry that life is awfully hard at the moment. It's so unfair.

Bless Taylor for her infinite wisdom.

You have to take it one day at a time, otherwise stress will get the better of you and your beloved girls. Set yourself a few daily goals and try to achieve them. That way you'll feel a sense of satisfaction.

I really hope that you have a support structure of family and friends in place close by. If not, remember that we are here and that we will do whatever we can to help you get through this.

You are very much in my thoughts, Cathy.

Megan

Hi Cathy,

Sending lots of positive vibes and good wishes your way.

I hope that your situation calms down and the stresses ease soon.

Katiepea

(website)

Veteran

Oh Cathy

I am so very sorry to read what a stressful time you've been through and are going through. Do not forget that you are obviously a strong woman who is taking a path toward a better life for yourself and your children.

On those days when you feel very down or are having one of those "I'm not coping" moments, I want you to imagine every single person on this forum standing on the sidelines being your own personal cheerleaders - chanting your name, inspiring you and willing you to take it just take it one breath, one baby step at a time toward your future. Here, I will start.....

"Give me a C
Give me an A
Give me a T
Give me a H
Give me a Y........GOOOOOOOO CATHY!!!!!!" [Hope I made you smile just a little. :-)]

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

Oh Cathy, sorry to hear that you have trying times. Sending you hugs and a lot of positive energy!
On the other hand when things get really bad this is the time when things should turn to the better. What you need to do is to believe that.
We have been through pretty hard times some years ago. We just bought a house and in a year my hubby lost his job and things were not too great at my job so they paid me only 50% of my salary for 6 months. I was getting sick from worry and it did not help a bit. Then I read somewhere about channeling positive energy and decided to do it. It sounded silly but I was doing this anyway: every morning I was looking into the mirror and telling myself that I will find a good job with a certain salary. And what do you think: I got that job with the exact salary I wanted in a month!
Try to think positive thoughts and universe will provide whatever you need!

Lena

I'm so sorry, Cathy. Hang in there. Angie is right, small goals are the way to go - it helps to keep your sanity at times like these. I need to remember this, too.

I'll be thinking about you.

marianna

Veteran

Oh, Cathy! Sending you lots of good vibes and positive thoughts. You will get through this hard time.

Sally

Veteran

I'm really sorry to hear your news. I have been heading towards the very same thing (but the jury is still out on whether it will still happen in my case as we are seeing now whether things can work) and making the decision is perhaps the hardest thing for as someone has said, things can only get better. I know the most important thing is to take time to nurture yourself (even if its sitting in the sun for a quiet coffee) and build up your support networks from your family and friends. You can do it.
As far as surviving as a single mum on a budget, is there some advice agency you can go and talk to who can make sure you are getting all you are entitled to and can help you plan.

Louise

Veteran

Oh Cathy my heart goes out to you. Remember we're here if you need us x

In terms of budget don't spoil the kids with gifts your time is far more valuable to them during this difficult period.
I'm not sure how old they are but be honest about budget constraints, even my little 3 year olds at work understand that we can't have new toys every week and that we have to save for things they want.

The following are meant with the best of intentions and from seeing how these situations can affect kids in a childcare setting and obviously if he's been a b*****d to the kids ignore this x
Don't slag off the children's Dad in front of them save that for a bottle of wine with a girlfriend it puts children in a difficult position feeling as though they have to pick sides.

When they go off for access visits give them a BIG happy smile and tell them to have a great time, then get out that bottle of wine and cry. Don't tell them you get upset when they go or that you miss them so much it hurts this makes them feel guilty for enjoying time with their Dad.

Make sure the school and any clubs they go to are aware of the situation, kids behaviour can change during times of stress and it helps if others know about it, they can also provide a listening ear if the kids need to talk x

rute

Veteran

oh.. you can always count on us to talk!
We will pray for you!

yublocka

(website)

Veteran

Oh Cathy, I am so sorry to hear this. But I hope this is something that will work out for the best for you. Please know that we are here for you if you need us (and may have been through something similar). If not, you'll be in our thoughts. Hope you are keeping yourself busy and finding things that make you feel good and help you get through this time. One of my favourite sayings in rough times is "when you're going through hell, keep going". This too shall pass!!

April

Veteran

Yes -- another here who's been in the same situation, Cathy, down to the spouse losing his job while we were attempting to separate. Living "apart" under the same roof and trying to keep things relatively peaceful for the benefit of a child (for a year and a half) was the most stressful time of my life.

Things do get better, I promise. The peace you find on the other side of changing a bad situation is worth all the difficulties of getting there.

Sending you all the good vibes in the world...

Laura

(website)

Veteran

It seems like such a comfort to know that others here have been through it before, and look how well they have come out of it. One day at a time, and just make your decisions in the moment -- don't let your mind get ahead of itself thinking about the future as it will only make you anxious or worried. Just handle what's presenting itself this day. xx Laura

Debbie

Veteran

I just wanted to say that you and your girls will be in my thoughts.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

(((Cathy))) (Those are cyber hugs)

I'm not a single mom, but we do live on one small income. Check out these websites for money saving tips and tricks:
http://www.pinchingyourpennies.com
http://www.livefabuless.com
http://www.thegrocerygame.com

rae

(website)

Veteran

I am no help, but I am vibe-ing like crazy!

<VIBE>

Cyber hugs to you during your tough time. :T

AJ

Veteran

I don't have anything new to add, but I just wanted to send hugs and good wishes your way. This is a very stressful time so get enough rest and press that red alert button to gather your support buddies. Thank you for sharing with us. I will be praying for you.

cciele

Veteran

Thank you all so so much for your words of encouragement and support. I wish I had time to reply to each one (gotta go teach), but just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate your experiences (from the trenches!) and good vibes.

catgirl

Veteran

Oh, I am so sorry for all of this.... I hope you have a good circle of IRL friends who are there for you to lean on and give you support. It all seems to come at once sometimes, but try to remember that one day you will be through the tunnel and looking back on it having survived. Right now just take it day to day and don't be hard on yourself when you feel overwhelmed.

((((hugs))))

Carole

Veteran

So so sorry you are going through such a tough time. My advise is to find a few things to be grateful for each day, and know that you will get through all of this. One day at a time.

Sending good thoughts your way!

Isabel

Veteran

I don't even know what to say.......

I will be thinking of you and your girls. I am glad that you feel you can post this here. It is not a sob story, it is a VERY difficult, real time. You are allowed to feel badly for yourself and your family. I know that you will find your way, but in the meantime it really does stink.

In the end, you must hang onto the two things that will last you a lifetime : people who love you and hope. As Taylor said, believe that.

crwilson

Veteran

Just wanted to extend hugs and a virtual cup of tea. I have no advice, unfortunately - it sounds like you're doing all the right things, and as far as I can see, sometimes the only thing to do is to endure until you make it through to the other side, at which point, you will be all the stronger and wiser.

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