It's so cold that:

- my tires deflated in the two hours my son and I were roller-skating last night (but reinflated after driving)
- my outdoor thermometer is frozen at -10
- my friend's electric gate is frozen open
- my husband says his beard freezes when he steps out
- it's too cold to snow
- smoke from smokestacks just hangs unmoving in the air
- I'm wearing ski layers under my pants!

(Nicole, sound familiar?)