So many beautiful comments here - thank you so, so much to everyone who shared their personal stories. I can't reply to every comment at the moment, but I do appreciate everything!
citygirldc, I'm so sorry to hear that things did not work out for you. As much as I think it's a tragedy when kids aren't wanted, it's equally unfortunate when a potentially great mom cannot be one. *hugs* to you and others who have mentioned miscarriages and similar.
To those who mentioned they changed their minds later - I definitely know this is a possiblility. My sister-in-law is one that this happened to, and DH is kind of afraid that I will go baby crazy over night and trick him into being a father... we almost didn't marry because of this. Our kind lawyer pointed out, though, that that issue is there whether we are married or not. The bottom line is that we will have to make a decision to stay together or not if and when there is a change...
Elly, I feel for your situation... it is hard enough to decide what your heart wants, even in ideal circumstances. It gets my hackles up that anyone would call you selfish for thinking of your own health when considering a baby! Shame on them - as if you are just a breeding pod and you can die happy as long as a baby comes out... -_- Sorry if that was too coarse, but wow...
I think there are a lot of factors that make me prefer a childless life, above and beyond not seeing them when I picture an ideal lifestyle. Like some of you, I mothered my little sister a lot, since our parents were often too busy fighting with one another to feed us. Long story short, we were "wanted" but not enjoyed. I don't consider myself "like a mother to her," but that need to look out for a second person was big. I also didn't have much of a childhood. My mother lost a child before me, so she was very protective. I was not allowed to go outside and play with the other children on my street. I had zero relationship with any grandparents to spoil me. I was never in girl scouts, and I was painfully shy until I was much older - but by then academics and college were top priority, so I spent all my time on cheerleading and any club I could join to put on a college app. College was also mostly about grades, and after that it's been about earning a living. So in a way... now I want to mother *myself.* I'm spoiling myself, hanging out and having slumber parties with my best friend (hubs), treating myself to some pretty things, and trying to figure out how to squeeze fun out of life. Not to mention the fact that I am jealous and love all the attention for myself. I just can't see beyond that at all ATM.
On the blunt and controversial side... yeah, I'm just not so impressed with humans, and the thought of creating one is a bit icky to me. Una, if I could carry and give birth to an *actual* lion cub, I would! lol. But a baby human? That I don't even find cute or amusing? I have so little patience for people in general, let alone a person that vomits and poops on me and will one day grow to hate me. I could stand all that if I got joy out of being with kids, but I don't feel it.
Anyway. thanks again for the responses. I had no idea that there were so many in the same boat as I am... it means a lot to hear from everyone.