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online shopping, the suffering

rachylou

Veteran

I don't know how all y'all regular online shoppers take the pain and torture of online shopping. I bought a dress, tried it on, decided it didn't work. Then I taped it all up to ship back. Then I thought to try it on again. Decided it would work, but it's got a hole , so taped it up again. Then thought they might sell out, ordered another one online, undid the package, crossed out all the exchange info, and taped it up hopefully for the last time.

Of course the exchange label was already pasted on, so the whole thing has gotten very tiny and has a ton of packing tape.

Sigh. And now I've just realised I've cost myself extra shipping by not playing return/exchange roulette.

Argh!!

Shopping

29 replies

Latest reply was from Laurinda

Lyn D.

Veteran

I feel your pain Rachylou!
I just get one buying/returning mess fixed, then launch myself into another- searching for THE perfect whatever.
I sell unwanted things on Ebay to cover internet purchase shipping costs.
It is kind-of fun ordering and waiting for the next package to arrive.

Astrid

Veteran

Yes. I've returned so much that I'm truly wondering if I shouldn't stop the online shopping and just rely on what's available in the stores. But there's stuff online that I can't get anywhere IRL and and it's often marked down. Question is whether the few times I got lucky are really worth the trouble. The majority of my clothes was bought in store which you wouldn't guess considering how much I order online.

Jewell

Veteran

I, unfortunately, feel your pain right now. I've made two big returns in the past week and am currently sitting on two exchanges trying to decide if I should handle them by mail or search for my size in-store. I'm so tired of this vicious cycle that I've sworn off online shopping for the rest of the season. Amazon and eBay are my only exceptions and only as last resorts. I'm going to try to stick to brick & mortar for a while. Hopefully, it will be less stressful.

gryffin

Veteran

Rachylou - I so sympatize. I have no time to shop. I do all my clothes shopping and my family's (for the most part) online. We'd honestly be naked if I didn't. I have a rule, it comes in, that day it goes immediately out if it's not right. I am the east coast purchaser of packing tape. My son has an event coming up and I've tried on so many dresses that even I am getting dizzy. But I am not sure I'd do better at the mall. I get overwhelmed by the sheer amount of merchandise. I think it's a huge Catch-22. I still think it's worth it to me to try it on at home so I can see it with shoes, jacket etc. Plus my husband is a good critic. Honest and direct. When you're looking for 10's only, that's really helpful to have a totally honest opinion esp since I can put on proper articles with it so he can see it in context. So I eat the shpping if I have to. Worth it to me, but not, not, not fun!!

Gennifyr

I don't how I happened upon such luck, but I have awesome luck with online shopping. I have better luck online than I do in actual stores. As a result I do 90% of my shopping online and have yet to return anything.

I'll try and send you some of this magic online shopping dust for good luck.

Nicole D

Veteran

Rachylou, you are funny. I am similar to Gryffin in that I try on, decide and don;t look back.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I sometimes let items I'm not sure about 'simmer' at the edge of my closet for a few days, assuming there's no tight deadline to return them. I will try them on when I'm getting dressed in the morning, wear them when I have a few minutes, etc. Usually after a day or two of that I have a pretty good idea of whether I'm keeping something or not.

I've been doing more online shopping recently and I am just resigned to the returns when I reach out of my comfort zone. That, and I don't mind trying on a ton of stuff in stores, which I figure is the equivalent. The whole thing does make me a little nervous, though, that something will get lost in the mail and I won't get my refund. Hasn't happened to me yet, thankfully.

rabbit

Veteran

I'm trying online shopping right now for some boots (which are discounted online and I've scoured B&M for similar styles) and I'm feeling your pain. You discover you need a half size smaller or decide the color wasn't accurate in the online photo and you have to jump through all the hoops again, and usually that half size is sold out Plus I stack a lot of online coupons, and you can usually only use those for one shot, not for the reorder of the different sizes, and exchange doesn't seem to be a possibility, only return/reorder.

I honestly prefer less choice in some ways, lol, in return for having all the options right in front of you (I usually carry A LOT into the dressing room so do all my hashing out there).

Peri

Veteran

I pretty much think all shopping is pain! Just pick your chosen type.

For me, store shopping is: drive somewhere that makes at minimum a 25 minute round trip, go in a store and hunt, take 10 things into a dressing room, like none of them or maybe one...if so, stand at the counter to pay for it. Go into the next store, later rinse repeat. Spend at least an hour, maybe more, drive back home with nothing or a few things, get home and try them on, only to find they don't work as well with fill in the blank as I was hoping. So then set aside more time to go make returns in person.

Anyway, that's what store shopping is like for me. All told, the pain of online is generally less painful!

Vix

Veteran

Hi Rachylou --

I can't identify with your issues, nope not at all.

[I think eBay shopping is the worst...too many of my buttons pushed before I even win the #$%# item!]

Good luck with the hunt.

EveningMood

I always wonder how you guys manage to shop on line so much. I only did it once, for a beautiful pair of boots that were half off: of course I am between sizes, so I took the size up and they're a little loose, but thankfully they work! My sizing is always all over the place and I can't bring myself to actually buy clothes I can't even touch. How does it save you time if you have to return 90% of your purchases, which would be the case with me, and I'm being optimistic? I am mulling over the whole idea because of the beauty of those All Saints tunics Angie recommended, I want them but there's too small a chance they would fit, and I know I will feel disappointed and helpless if I have to ship them back to the UK. Maybe I'm just not ready.
I'm sorry for the rant, Rachylou, and wish you happier and more fruitful dress hunting

Marmee

Veteran

I feel your pain. Really. Mostly I don't buy online, other than Nordstrom, for this reason. The only time I bought from Shopbop, I missed the detail about returning within 2 weeks if you want free return shipping, and had to pay $10.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

For me it's a necessary evil. No car, no good stores close by. I can bike 2.5 miles to Kmart or to Beall's Outlet. Discount spots like TJ Maxx or Ross are 30+ min drive away and real stores like Nordie's an hour and a half away. It is what it is.
Don't get me started on trying to carry a big box of boots on your back on your bike to the Pack 'n Ship store 2 miles away to make a return.

deb

Veteran

I am picky and know the brands I order. Luckily I have very few returns. I will say that I am more liberal with my ordering if there is a b & m store to return to.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I prefer in-store for some stores. And prefer online for others.

Often times, stores don't have my size in store. So it's better to try online. Then, some stores are so hectic that I far prefer the relaxed environment of home for trying on (Zara, I am looking at you). All in all, I think a combination is best. Go to the store. Try on, touch, look, compare colours. Then go home and order online afterwards.

What's harder is ordering from the US and then chancing returns. Now that is a rant you have heard from us Canucks before. So I won't hijack your thread.

carolibra

I love online shopping, even though I live within one mile of a Nordstrom, Macys, Neiman Marcus, and two malls that carry just about every other label I buy. The convenience of trying on in my home is just too good - I can take my time, have fun creating different outfits, and not have to deal with crowds or choking perfume! I'm pretty lucky with fit, so end up returning maybe 5-10% of purchases. Shoes make up the biggest number of returns, due to very fussy feet.

catgirl

Veteran

Don't forget the stress of carrying it around with you for two weeks waiting to get to the PO.

Makrame

Veteran

I hear you on unpacking and repacking just to try things on one more time... And yet, I love online shopping and cannot remember last time I was in a bricks and mortar store (OK, I remember - I went to JCrew to return some things I bought online...). I try to only order from stores that have free shipping and easy free returns (Nordstrom, Gap/BR, Neiman Markus, Amazon, and stores that work with Shoprunner). I particularly like Shoprunner because it lets me easily keep track of orders and returns but I only rarely use it because of the narrow range of stores. I drop packages off at the UPS store on my way to work (they open early so it is easy) or leave them in my garage for the mailman to pick up.

Glory

Veteran

I agree it is so frustrating and challenging. I still do it though for "convenience" and sometimes because that is the only option. But it weighs on me, the returns stack up and I feel very relieved once I get them looked after. And then, I start the cycle again. Sigh! And like Suz mentioned, we won't start the rant about ordering into Canada

kerry

Veteran

I do most of my shopping online now. Better selection and better deals. I started shopping online when my daughter was a baby - convenient, didn't have to shower first and could muster the energy to browse online but not schlepp around a mall!

Online shopping definitely has its frustrations and, as Suz mentions, can be particularly painful for us north of the border.

Still, I find I'm a more disciplined shopper online. I do shy away from ordering shoes online, however, so difficult to get the size and comfort right.

viva

Veteran

I have returns to do today, and I always feel so great leaving the post office when they are done! But all the anticipation, and then waiting for the credits to make sure everthing went through. Ugh. Hate it, but it's a necessary evil. Like Mo, not enough good brick-and-mortar options close by.
Life would be perfect if I could meet Fabbers in Boston every time I wanted to shop.

chadya

Veteran

I only shop in store where I can try on,too many variables in sizing from brand to brand and item to item. Too cheap to pay shipping either way.

I was never really a catalog shopper for the same reasons.

rachylou

Veteran

Ohmigosh, I have still not recovered from the re-packaging ordeal. It was really only but a few minutes of my day... although, of course, I have started the part now where I drag the package around hoping for a surprise post office to magically appear on my regular post-office free routes, HaHa Una!... But ohmigosh. It's the tension, the inability to get it done, this thing hanging over my head for weeks, the speculative gambling... <primal scream here> lol.

I need some way to get used to this. Because as y'all have mentioned, there's wider choice with online shopping. In fact, I notice, there are a lot of online-only things now...

Thistle

Veteran

I hear ya!

Still, there is just so many more options for me online than in the actual store. And the closest mall for me is a 30 minute drive one way. Between that and a rambunctious pre-schooler, online is the lesser of two evils.

Honestly, shopping is just a pain.

rachylou

Veteran

No, it's true. I can't do more than a couple of stores in a single day - a month. With the exception, haha, of Ross (because it's by the pet store) and Payless (by the drugstore and grocery). It's too much. There are things to be done.

kavita

When I first started online shopping a couple of years ago, I was ordering trends that I really didn't want, overordering to meet the free shipping minimum purchase, ordering when bored....to the point where the folks at UPS started recognizing me coming in regularly with my unprofessionally taped up return shipping boxes.

But now I'm much more informed and thoughtful about it so while I still enjoy the in-store experience of an Anthropologie, I have my favorite retailers that I know carry the right sizes and styles for me (and have liberal return policies) that I typically turn to online.

unfrumped

Veteran

My beef is that I'll consider something but plan to order later at night, or the next day, and then it's gone.

If I were in-store, I'd know right away whether it's great or a bust, but on-line I usually can't tell so I don't get so excited and then I always have to think, what size, 2 sizes? Plus, it would actually mean ordering every thing that "might" work as soon as it pops into view.

Recent HEWI of a Talbot's covered buckle belt put in cart at lunch and planned to buy or add later that night--poof! "stolen" from cart, no more available.
Theory Keto blazer I was considering--on sale Nordie's and more discounted at NM--went to sleep, poof! sizes sold out NM and no sale Nordie's. Must have been a special promotion.

I console myself that the color probably wasn't right and also that overall it just can't matter that much.

Anonymous

I also am about ready to swear off online shopping. The hook is when you find a cool item but your size is not in the store or your local store does not have that item in stock to begin with. Not to mention not having certain stores like ZARA in the area. My online picks rarely work out. For me, it is best to try on in a store in real time so to speak!

Laurinda

Veteran

When I was size 18 my size was only available online. I got used to the convenience of online shopping, but only order if there are free returns or a B&M store in my area. I group most purchases (once each for S/S and F/W), do a home try-out then return all in one swoop. I probably keep 20% of the items, considering I often get several colors or sizes to try. Without online shopping I would be in my pre-YLF wardrobe of clearance rack and thrift store "bargains" that were never quite right.