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Page 2 in the conversation "Oh no" by
They are beautiful, Karen13.
I like the idea of a blazer. I think ivory could work if only one piece is that color - like pants or top, not both to not look too bridal yourself. Not sure how dressy you’re thinking.
I have trouble with ivory as major color for wedding guest because of... bride.
I recognize there are ways to wesr it with other colors but I avoi for stand- alone tops or jackets. Others might not feel that way.
Yay for pants! That give you a lot of options depending on what you have ofrfind. I see no problem with black pants- slim, tuxedo, flowy or even extremely basic and let top and accessories shine. Plus, you can layer under , depending on weather. You can wear flats or booties , depending. Your top can be sparkly or more subdued luxurious cashmere , or wear a velvet blazer. You have enough time to think about what’s “ you” in that setting. Whether more cocktail- trouser or Ralph Lauren country- romantic elegance ( just for examples). For me, it would depend on what I can find and if could complete the outfit. If my bank account tolerated, I might get some things as I cans across them and not cut any tags until things seem to come together for top/ bottom/ shoes. If some of those items would work brilliantly for other occasions then I’d keep, but otherwise return the things that were outfit wannabes but for which I did not find the completer pieces.
Blue sounds perfect. You can mix it with black or even fuchsia.
I like the ideas of accessories and layering.
It snowed this week in the mountains and it is only mid August! You should pack at least booties. Maybe snowshoes
Do you have a faux fur jacket?
I love my black tuxedo pants and jacket, old but seem timeless. There are so many ways to dress these pieces up or down with different tops and accessories.
October wedding on horizon for me as well but not a destination wedding! You put my worries about what to wear in perspective, that’s for sure. I bought the Maggie London NAS top pick dress and it is a winner. And not a one occasion dress. I am now on a low heel hunt... Once you nail what will work from your closet, then you can identify your needs. For me, I pay attn to dress code the bride often identifies or would for you. I avoid beige and white and the wedding colors for my guest wedding attire. My granddaughter’s wedding’s colors are burgundy and grey and the nod I might give to her colors is a handbag and possibly shoes in burgundy. I am a Reader for the Catholic ceremony so a little burgundy could be fun. I like Lisa’s response: she would stay home. Stress and expense be gone!
Since I don’t know what country, state or province the wedding is located in I will be making some assumptions that may take you down the wrong path. We live in an area where mountains weddings happen especially in fall and hiking/ biking is norm for entertainment.
Hiking/ biking: layers!!!
dark wash denim jeans can take you from hiking to local bar for night dancing.
Light weight turtleneck shirt /pullover sweater / cool weather vest or medium weight waterproof jacket can cover hiking or biking in the mountains.
On feet I will assume you don’t have hike boots so heavy sneakers/ walkers with light wool socks should be ok.
Bring bandana/ kerchief/ ball cap for head , light weight scarf and BUG SPRAY!
Diner/ bar hopping:
Dark wash jeans, nice blouse, blazer for chill, scarf or jewelry, cross body bag, flats or boots.
Wedding- if outdoors- a pantsuit would be great or dress pants and a shiny fabric blazer should work.
If so inclined- something like a twill skirt or denim or shirtwaist type dress can be dressed up or down if weather turns warm for all possible activities like mini golf, arcades, sightseeing, winery tours , historic sites which are common in areas. Chinos or khakis make great alternate bottoms. Throw in LS/SS tees or tops, fleece or hoodie and you should be ready for anything.
What Efbgen wrote. Hiking boots are overrated unless you are going to do a lot of hiking or rough walking in the future. (I use mine mostly for gardening.) Running shoes or good walking shoes should work just fine. Now is the time for a thin puffer vest. Also, bring a good book! There is no shame in hunkering down at the hotel or some other comfy spot with other folks who are not up to the hike. It will also let YOU take some control over the agenda and have some quiet time. Let the weekend warriors recount their adventure, while you nod your head and smile calmly!
Oh yes! Ditto to what efbgen and runcarla wrote. I live in Colorado, an hour from Rocky Mountain National Park, and I don't own hiking boots. I wear old trail runners or just plain old running shoes for hiking.
Just chiming in to say one of the most enjoyable weddings I’ve attended occurred in Sept in the mountains of Colorado. We sat on folding chairs in the sage brush with our dog at our feet. I can’t remember what I wore, but it was a moving, heartfelt ceremony as the sun dipped low in the sky. It felt like we were on top of the world.
I wish a similar memory for you!
What a lovely occasion and plan for the weekend.....I am sorry it is causing you worry.
I do agree three days away is a tricky length of time - one day is fine - and a week is fine - but three to four days I always struggle with. And in this case a variety of possible weather and events mean packing light is not easy.
It sounds like you have a great plan for the wedding - dressy pants/slacks and some gorgeous accessories.
For the rest of the weekend I would take (and this is me in NZ)
- for walking/hiking - leggings/pants, activewear top and a warm layer - with cap and a beanie- two days of casual wear. I would wear nice jeans (white or blue) and have layering possibilities. Maybe one sweater, one jacket, two shirts/tops and your favourite sneakers or ankle boots.- for dining out, the above should work maybe subbing in loafers for sneakers, or a slightly dressier top. Maybe pants instead of jeans.
So outside the wedding itself- hiking bottoms (1-2 depending on leggings or pants)- hiking tee x 2- warm layer- cap- beanie- sneakers for hiking/walking/running
- one pair jeans (white or blue)- one pair other pants- two day tops (blouse/shirt/tee)- one day jacket (maybe the same as hiking warm layer, maybe not)- cosy sweater- dressier top- sneakers/boots for day wear- loafers/oxfords for meal out (might be the same as for the wedding)- maybe a large scarf or wrap- maybe coat to wear over top if really cold
My experience is that in the US people are not that dressy for meals out but that is limited to Portland, California, Arizona and Oklahoma. So a dressy top may not be needed - I would probably pack one just in case.
If it is really cold or miserable activities will mostly be indoors anyway. And in October in the Mountains a tee and jeans will probably deal with warm/hot weather.
I am sure the forum can get you feeling really good about your outfits so you feel like yourself and feel appropriate. We have done so for Janet's wedding look, a presentation for Suz and many others. It will be fun!!
Thank you everyone. I feel less stressed than when I originally posted. You all have a way of coming up with workable solutions. I was so panicked I wasn't able to see that there were good solutions available to me.
The idea of ivory was from my fantasy of cocooning in a mountain lodge. I see myself sipping a hot drink, wearing ivory, and laughing in front of a fireplace. There will be no lodge. There will be no hot drink (champagne). There will only be very limited and very acceptable amounts of ivory.
Thank you, Classically Casual. I hope that once I calm down and re-center, I will focus on the most important things. And there will be dogs. At least four dogs from what I hear.
Jenn, Efbgen, and RunCarla — It is actually a relief that I don’t need hiking boots. I already own really good trail shoes. I admit that the talk yesterday scared me. I wondered what type of trails they were taking me on and how to prepare myself physically.
RunCarla — Shopping for a lightweight puffer vest right now. That will be one more jacket to the count I listed in your thread earlier this weekend.
Efbgen — Your suggestions are GOLDEN. I’ll using your post as a template for when I sit down and chart my wardrobe. I love the idea of bringing a denim skirt with me. It would allow me a touch of authenticity.
I’m glad I am not the only one heading off to a wedding in October, CJ. I will avoid white, ivory, and beige. Ivory was a fantasy for the mountains, but I agree it is not the best choice for a wedding. I only met the bride for the first time yesterday. I’ll take my cues from the other wedding guests that I know better.
Joy — You can coordinate blue with fuchsia? Have I missed a wonderful color combination? I don’t have a faux jacket, but I do own a brand new puffer!! Ivory. Why yes. I am obsessed with ivory right now.
Unfrumped — Thank you for weighing in. Even though I am obsessed with ivory, I will not wear it to a wedding. Ralph Lauren country!!!! That might be my aesthetic!!!
Fashiontern — Thank you for the wonderful suggestion of the denim skirt. I think it might work well for me.
Delurked — I am going to limit ivory to a few select pieces: puffer jacket and pearl necklace. Perhaps one day sweater.
This sounds challenging indeed. It's hard to pack for varied activities and weather conditions with a carry on. But you are going to rock this!
I love the idea of blue or black pants and fuchsia accessories or maybe a fuchsia jacket.
I have found a few options. Some for your fantasy life, granted, but a girl can dream, can she not? (The Saks one also comes in fuchsia but the Find wouldn't save in that colour).
I second the vote on footwear -- unless you are scaling serious peaks you can probably make do with trail runners, which are easier to pack and lighter.
Bring layers. Smartwool or Heattech might make sense. You're used to the heat now, not the cold. So a base layer might be useful. (Examples in finds). If jeans aren't your thing, ponte pants will also work.
I recommend scarves (both for variety and warmth) and gloves and a hat. Wool socks.
THANK YOU, Sal. I am so grateful for your suggestions.
Suz --Those are beyond gorgeous suggestions. There is something about fuchsia that just makes my heart sing. Would you be terribly disappointed in me if I ended up in denim, black, navy, and touches of fuchsia and ivory? I am getting the sense that this will be less dressy and more woodsy. Note: I am NOT woodsy, but I can try.
But Sterling, your fantasy of a mountain lodge is the epitome of woodsy! Of course you can do woodsy. You love that feel and look. It probably won't be cold and wintry, but you can do cozy fall. Enjoy this -- it's the perfect chance to get a taste of your fantasy.
I do love your ivory sort of apres ski vision, though!
I have similar visions of being dressed in the perfect soft lofty ivory and camel woolen knits and flannels by the fireside in winter, or going out on the frosty porch with my steaming mug. . Winter whiteouts.
Woodsy? How about dark pine green? Pine green lace Depending where you are i wouldn't expect ski lodge vibe in October. At least here, even in the mountains its still usually in the 70s - low 80s.
Blue and fuchsia: A scarf or tee with both colors represented will help immensely to pull things together. I have a Ted Baker floral tee that I love with blues and black and purple on a fuchsia background. It seems to go with everything. you might not even need the fuchsia color in a scarf with blues and maybe black. In a scarf, burgundy or pink may work for fuchsia.
Some scarves from Nordstrom in Finds. They are out there.
What a challenging situation. Lots of good advice. Nothing to add fashion wise.
Have you considered renting your own car? It would drive this introvert bonkers if I couldn’t leave any place when I wanted to. Controlling that would be my number 1 priority.
I guess those jackets are a bit dressy, aren't they. Oh well. It was my fantasy life. You and I share our adoration for fuchsia. It makes me really happy too.
Accessories in fuchsia make a lot of sense. Or, as others have said, if you want to go woodsy, maybe in pine green!
Fuchsia and blue work brilliantly, by the way. But they might read more spring/ summer than autumn. So there is that. What are the bride's colours?
I’m glad you’re feeling better about this! Personally, I think it’d be a blast to go to a “Destination” and do a bunch of cool stuff that someone else had picked out, with no responsibility for logistics, no blame if anything turned out poorly.
Funny how what’s “normal” is so different for each of us. I think of fuschia & teal, navy, or black as the usual, but fuschia & orange/fall colors as “wowsers”, apparently 180 degrees from your perspective.
I think you want a more casual jacket, like a fleece (or that Patagonia Nano) https://www.rei.com/c/womens-j.....038;page=1 Bonus is that a fleece = outerwear = can be worn throughout the weekend.
No lodge? How is that possible in a mountain destination? I agree with the others on white at a wedding, but see no reason why you couldn’t indulge your fantasy in your small group of five, or with your husband. https://www.softsurroundingsou.....zy-caftan/
Bj1111 -- I seriously considered renting a car. It would reduce my stress substantially. I rejected this idea because I think people's feelings might be hurt. I'm going to bring my most cosy loungewear and sleepwear. They will relax me in my down time (and there has to be down time, doesn't there?) In a way, my loungewear and sleepwear are worth their weight in gold.
Liz -- I love the look!!! But I always see myself in a chateau, looking adorable and drinking something fancy while I lounge in front of a fireplace. I have the very bad feeling these people are going to have me out walking, hiking, and photographing stuff .... like from dawn to dusk. What if I am the only coffee drinker and there is no Starbucks????? OMG.
Unfrumped -- it is the dream, isn't it? I'm so glad I'm not the only one that has that dream!! Winter whites all the way!!!!!!!!!!
Suz -- the jackets are breathtaking. Fuchsia really is the dream, isn't it? I really do want to dress up for this wedding, but I feel if I stand out by being overdressed, I'll be even more uncomfortable. My goal is to gauge the situation so that I am even a little bit "less" dressy. I am certainly going to experiment with fuchsia and blue going forward!!!!!
Suntiger -- Yes, woodsy. I might be spending quality time with the ultimate outdoor men (and women?). Dark pine green sounds lovely. I'm not sure it is my color though, although I love lace!!!! They tell me the weather is unpredictable. I'll be watching the weather forecasts closely when we get closer to the actual time frame.
Joy -- That Ted Baker floral tee is beyond gorgeous. I actually clicked on the Find with the intent of adding it to my wardrobe. No surprise, it was sold out. The idea of tying the colors together using a scarf is brilliant. I own two scarfs that may be appropriate for the weekend. One is a solid fuchsia wrap. The other is a fuchsia and grey floral print. I adore both and will bring one.
You are absolutely right, Fashiontern. I should not be stressed out about a weekend that has been planned for me. I should be excited and grateful. My problem is that I am a serious introvert. I literally need "down time" to recharge so that I can be gracious the next day. Without that down time, my anxiety level starts to climb.
Sterling, I vote indulge your inner Ralph Lauren (I have one too). It’s the perfect occasion, as long as you don’t overdo the (bridal) ivory. How about an ivory, cable knit sweater for casual wear with jeans or ponte pants (I have a feeling that you don’t wear jeans??). Or you could wear a gold/caramel/toffee/camel sweater with ivory pants (I don’t think that’s too bridal, and you don’t have to wear it to the ceremony in any case.)
Sterling, I would encourage you to keep true to yourself on this trip. I’ve done this exact same kind of destination wedding trip (in Hawaii) and no one expected that every person would join every excursion and hike. We all need downtime and I believe that people who know and love you will completely respect if you take a break now and then from group activities. I’m an avowed introvert, but I can play extrovert for quite some time. But when I hit a wall and need my quiet space, I happily make my retreat with a polite “thank you, but I’ll sit this one out.” Choose which activities you want, based on your abilities and interests, and take the opportunities to relax and recharge.
Late to this thread, Sterling. Just wanted to say I understand your feelings about this, find such occasions very difficult myself. Not much to contribute here. You got some great advice. YFL is fantastic.
Brooklyn -- I am going to shop Ralph Lauren. YAY. I love that aesthetic and the quality is good too. I have flannel jammies that are so thick and soft against the skin. He does ivory like no one else!!!!!!!!!! I also bought this to indulge my need for ivory. Certainly no one can object to me wearing an ivory jacket with fuchsia scarf. Double YAY.
Thank you for weighing in, Janet and Katerina. It is reassuring that I am not the only one that gets stressed under the circumstances. I will strive to take care of myself and my needs. I have not ruled out renting a car. I think that might be the ultimate solution to my concerns. It would afford me the autonomy that I crave ... even if I choose not to use it.
You are never late, Katerina.
Sterling, I love wearing jumpsuits, so if you love the look of them, this may be the occasion to try one. Of course, when going to the toilet, it does involve more undressing than wearing pants, but honestly it takes about the same time to unzip a back zip as it does to undo trousers. Jumpsuits are like wearing pyjamas in terms of how comfortable they are to wear, yet they can be easily dressed up because they are long. You can always add a topper to them, but of course, then in the bathroom, that has to come off too. I usually wear a coat or jacket over mine and then just leave the topper on the back of a chair when going to the bathroom.
I would happily wear a jumpsuit to a wedding - they really are very fun to wear!
Sterling, no to any “should”s on your approach to this weekend. You and I don’t have to have the same approach to colors or to activities. One thing to keep in mind when deciding what to take part in is that they probably planned an extra activity here or there to keep people busy while they’re doing something, to give people options, or just for those who need constant motion. You don’t need to do them all, or feel guilty about skipping.
Yes to taking all the lounge clothes! Bubble bath, scented candles, etc too if you like. IMO, your responsibilities as a wedding guest are to be fully present at the reception, to communicate your deepest wishes for their future together being good, whether in person or in writing, and to be grateful for what goes well and accepting of what doesn’t. NB North Kaibob sprints are not on this list.
Ralph Lauren is a great choice for refined outdoors stuff. You might also want to look at Sundance. I think this sort of style is their specialty.
I like the idea of your own rental car. Join the activities you want to, or do something else if you want to. It can be nice to get away from everyone for some peace and quiet.
If you are going to be in pictures with the bride, avoid ivory, otherwise, don’t worry. No one will confuse you for the bride if you’re wearing black pants.
If you like the look of a jumpsuit, but not the inconvenience, how about a matching top and bottom?
In our area in the mountains, it’s still warm during the day in October. The nights are cool (not cold), though. Look at the weather forecast closely before packing. And why can’t you take a regular suitcase?
You’re very hard on yourself, and I bet you dress better than you think.
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