OH MY!! I'm a little overwhelmed... - YouLookFab Forum

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OH MY!! I'm a little overwhelmed...

JewelryGirl

I've been slowly trying to do a closet sweep. However, I'm feeling absolutely completely overwhelmed right now. Here's why...I thought I had done pretty good at just keeping what I was wearing now. At least that's what's in my main closet. I hadn't paid a lot of attention to the rest. I say main closet as we need to do some remodeling to re-do our bath & I finally get a large walk-in closet. So, in the meantime I have this little one I share with DH in the bedroom. Another one in a spare bedroom that houses off-season, another in the basement that I thought I didn't have anything left in. Then, I started remembering some <cringe cringe> capri's I had that I thought I might be able to have made into walking shorts. Oh dear....just to give you an idea of what I'm dealing with....I have 1 pr. black walking shorts (bad cut for me - yellow dot clearance for $2 what was I thinking?!), 5 *I think* pairs of black capri's at various lengths (3 sz8, 1 sz6, 1 sz10), wait 6 for sure there's another pair of sz 8's. God knows how many pair of black pants. Oh dear....I think I have a problem with not being able to get rid of clothes because I *might* wear them again someday. Example: @ Christmas time when we had an ugly sweater party - voila I had a little designer denim Christmas shirt I put on over a sweater...Oh, and the ugly Christmas jewelry to go with it that were in the "Accessory Archive" as one of my friends calls it. I still have suits with shoulder pads in them way in the back of the closet, remember the short suits?, high rise skinny jeans from early '90's I'm guessing....What is my problem? Why can't I get rid of this stuff? It feels like all of this extra baggage. How do you get yourself to just PURGE?! JUST DO IT?! I'm slowly weeding through some things but I keep telling myself. I could garden in this pair, this pair is good for long shirts cause I don't like those slice pockets that the stuff bunches up, and on, and on, and on....HELP?! Thoughts advice? I think I need a closet intervention!! I just need 1 good pair that meets all my criteria...instead of saving 5+. Do you just choose that pair & ditch the rest? Or, ditch them all cause none are what you want? Please advise....I need some help! :{ I have to get serious about this....

General

19 replies

Latest reply was from Angie

JewelryGirl

Omg I just found another pair....HELP!! Sorry this is so long....YIKES!!

Nicole

Veteran

OK JG...calm down. Deep breaths...inhale...exhale...inhale.. Have a drink, or a brownie ....

OK, I just did this so I know how you feel. First of all, you have to decide what you are going to do with your throw aways. You have a few options...Throw them out, Donate them to Charity, Or sell them. I highly recommend that you start of with "donate to charity" since you are overwhelmed. You wont feel guilty about throwing them away, and you won't be "holding" them until you sell them. There may be some items that are not even donate worthy. So plan to have two piles...donate and throw out.

Now anything that does not fit you, donate. Don't even think about what if... just think about right here and right now.

Anything that is out of style, donate. (Even if shoulder pads make a comeback, the look is going to be different than it was 25 yrs ago--trust me.)

Anything torn, worn out, or stained, throw out.

You can keep 1 pair of "work pants". If you paint, then go ahead and keep 1 pair of painting pants too. You can also keep one work shirt, and one paint shirt. I suggest a short sleeve work shirt, and a "work hoodie".

So now you only have to address the things that fit and are in style. At this point, you might want to try things on, take photos, and decide (with our help if you want) if the stylish, well fitting piece is complimentary to your body.

When you have only things you love in your closet, it's so much easier to get dressed, and it's so much easier to figure out what's missing.

shiny

Veteran

If you thought you had nothing left in the basement closet, that tells me that you haven't worn any of it in ....forever. So I wouldn't overthink this. You don't need these clothes.

Ask your hubby to go in there, box it all up for you, and drop it off for charity. Ask your hubby to do it so you don't start going through it yourself.

If you can't bear the thought of doing that, then do this: have him box it all, and tuck it away somewhere. Then if in 6 months you haven't retrieved anything, give the boxes away. DO NOT OPEN THEM - just drop them off and be done.

Can't bear that thought either? Then plan C: get one reasonable size storage box. Go down in the basement, and give yourself just 10 minutes. Grab whatever you see in 10 minutes that you want to keep. Stuff it into the box. You are not allowed to save any more than can fit in that single, reasonable-sized box. Be quick! Set a timer! Don't try anything on, just make snap decisions. This will force you to choose only the things you really love... for whatever reason.

Yes, it's okay to save one or two 25 year old items for "sentimental reasons" (it was only recently I parted with a pair of black dress slacks from my pre-baby days; they were threadbare but I kept them for 20 years so I could gauge my waist size, hee hee... never did manage to get back into them!)

And it's okay to save one or two items you wore at a bigger size too, if you remember feeling absolutely fab in them, they are classics, and they are in good condition.

As long as it all fits in the single box! That's all the extra baggage you are allowed!

yublocka

(website)

Veteran

I really like Nicole and Shiny's excellent advice! I was also going to suggest making someone else physically throw away (donate or whatever) those things you already know you need to part with. Hopefully that'll make it a little less traumatic!!

NCyogini

I think the hardest part is just getting started. Once you get a little momentum going, I think it will get a little easier.

What I did- I started by just sitting for a moment, visualizing what I wanted to be wearing, what I wanted to feel like in my clothes. Then I got some big ol' hefty bags and started going through my stuff. I went through it quickly, and just kind of trusted my gut reactions to items.

Toss anything that is worn or stretched or stained, that you don't feel TOTALLY great in, or that doesn't fit. Toss things you don't like, and maybe even toss things you do. If you're wavering on anything and you just can't seem to do it, put it in a box and close up the box tight and put it out of sight.

I really felt torn over whether to toss some items, but a week after I'd hauled the bags to goodwill, I promise you, I really couldn't remember what was in all of those bags. Please keep us updated on your progress. A good closet purge is a big deal- and in my opinion, very liberating!

Alecia

Veteran

Hang in there! You've gotten great advice. I agree that a closet purge is liberating. I wish you well on moving forward successfully.

Lee Hovey

JewelryGirl: I LOVE to purge, I love the clean, orgnanized feeling it gives me; like I have accomplished something. And I like seeing the extra room it gives me to buy a couple new things I adore.

When I purge I give myself ground rules. For current season thing, if I didn't where it this season (or within 6 months), it goes, no matter what! For out of season stuff, if I didn't wear it a single time during it's last season, it goes!! There is no "what if.." or "well I could try X". Throw it in the bag and move on.

If it helps, write your ground rules in bold on a piece of paper and hang it near the closet, so you can keep reminding yourself of the rules while you go.

Also, if helps donating the things, since I can think of people that I may be helping.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I'm chiming in to ask how it's going JG? Have you made any progress after hearing these fabulous suggestions? Think of me on your shoulder as you purge. You HAVE to be brutal. There is no sense in being lenient. Be strict sister!

Anonymous

LOL@ Angie on your shoulder. Actually I've seriously thought of having a bracelet made up to wear when shopping with the letters WWAS (What Would Angie Say). Just telling myself that has helped me return an OK huge bargain to the rack with Angie saying, "You can do better" playing in my ear. Thank you, Angie!

Chris

It may help to have a good friend or sister come by and help? I helped my sister with hers and was able to be more ruthless than she was.

I feel like you should have a goal - to do one closet at a time, one type of item at a time (for example: today I do sweaters) and a teeny reward afterward (could be to watch a fave movie, a bath?).

Also, maybe take before and after pics so you can see your success?

The other advice has been great - you kind of have to "just do it".

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Joy, you are SO CUTE! Thanks for making me laugh. I hope to meet you one day.

So JG, how is it going?

JewelryGirl

Hey gang, sorry this week has been CRAZY at work so I won't get back to this until this weekend!! I sooooo appreciate the feedback! Shiny, I attempted on my own before I read your message....ugh! Nicole, deep breathes & a glass of red wine is what did the trick! Chris, you're right I need a friend or something to help me go through. Good idea! Joy, love the WWAS bracelet idea....that's what I need! I also like the donate ideas also!! Needless to say about 4 went in the wash so I will have some mental work to do this weekend when I go back through!! Lee, I will definitely have to post the rules before I start! I will keep you guys posted! This site is the best!! Wish I lived someplace close to do a swap with you all....I'm in the midwest though...sigh sigh...I'm learning TON's though from all of you - that's a HUGE help! Thanks bunches & everyone have a GREAT week!

Kari

Veteran

Jewelry Girl, hope that it goes well! I think I'll be in the same boat as soon as I have enough time to tear my closet apart over the weekend, so I commiserate and wish you luck.

I don't know if it helps, but a while back I collected blog posts that seemed especially helpful with tips for how to make sense of/cull/keep only the best items in your wardrobe:
http://youlookfab.com/2008/01/.....rritation/
http://www.wardrobeoxygen.com/.....nment.html
http://fashionshoestring.blogs.....-each.html
http://www.wardrobeoxygen.com/.....iform.html

Of course, you've probably read them, but just in case you haven't Angie has a plethora of closet organization tips that are very clear and helpful. http://youlookfab.com/category.....anization/

Adrienne

After reading about all of this closet cleaning I decided I needed to do this as well. I tend to hang onto things thinking I'll loose weight and want to wear them again. Well I finally lost 18 lbs after carrying this excess around for the past 8 years. So I brought out all of these 'keepers'. Out of this pile I found maybe 4 pieces that I would still wear and fit well enough. So that was a major mistake and waste of space. What really helped me make up my mind was to photograph an outfit I thought was swell. The camera doesnt lie~ I was able to let go of more stuff. So now I am down to one closet of stuff and have emptied out 4 big bins of clothing. Several of the women I work with are not sporting some of my clothes and they look better on them than they ever did on me. Hope this helps..

April

Veteran

I think weight-change anxiety, or hope, is a big factor in closet sweeps. If you were once bigger than you are now, there is a fear of getting rid of all those larger sizes in case the weight creeps back and you are left with nothing to wear. If you were once smaller, there is that infamous tendency to plan on someday fitting into those items again. (I'm not talking about the minor, temporary fluctuations we all experience, but the several-sizes-up-or-down differences that come from major changes in our lives.)

I read somewhere that the key is to remember that if you are ever in a position to need a significantly larger/smaller size, you can trust yourself to provide that size at that time. There is no need to hoard those items "in case." I find that helpful as I debate whether to keep things or not, based on their size.

tarzy

Veteran

I know how hard it is. I did my closet sweep a few months ago when I realized I had two drawers full of clothes to "clean out the garage" and nothing to wear every day. And then the bags sat in the guest room for months, because I couldn't let them go. What if I needed that busy print shirt that's perfectly fine, but looks horrible on me? What if I needed that pale pink shirt that washes me out? I kept pulling things out of the bags, thinking that maybe they had miraculously changed while sitting in the bag. Nope. Still didn't fit. Still didn't look good.

I finally took all five bags to the thrift store this week. I feel a little sick when I think about all the money I've wasted on the wrong clothes. But better to face the truth, accept it, and move on. And now I have the room for things that are right, that fit, that look good. And now someone else can enjoy those clothes. (Better them than me!)

Joy - I love WWAS! It's going to be my new motto when I go shopping!

Mellllls

Veteran

Jewelrygirl, I really feel your pain. I have literally run out of room for my clothes (I share a small 1-bedroom apartment) and know I need to do some serious closet-purging. My mom is visiting in 2 weeks and I hope she'll be able to help me. Whenever I visit home, she is always trying to get me to get rid of stuff I have in my closet there.

JewelryGirl

WOW, I felt silly for such a long deep post but I'm so glad I did now because all of this feedback has been INCREDIBLY helpful!! I was going to purge this weekend & when I went to bring up all the links & suggestions EEEEKKKK I couldn't get to anything! So, I shopped instead - imagine that?! Not all a loss, I think I figured out my new color scheme & it ties in perfectly with things I've been drawn to all along & will just package things up nicely I think! Tarzy, that post is exactly what I'm like when I do this. I usually bag things up for our annual garage sale & then find myself going in the attic to get something. Or, when I pull things out to price I eeww & awww something only to realize it's back in the pile for next year. So, this weekend is the weekend for the purge! I will keep you posted! I will be brutal, WWAS?! Deep breath & nice bottle of wine for a treat at the end!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Gracey and Missy will keep you company as you purge. You are doing well. Don't stop!