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Nu-Males and Tumblrinas

krishnidoux

Veteran

I got acquainted to two new specimens of the human race yesterday - or maybe I'm just too old or out of the loop - or maybe I have been talking with too many Reddit addicts:

The Nu-Male, first, seems to be a growing thing among guys 25-45 yrs of age (see pics 1-3 below). I went to a party with 7-8 guys in that age group, and came home yawning. They were all so cute and nice and obviously educated but... no conversation! Not just that, it was like... they were afraid of committing to a conversation topic. They'd dismiss their own experiences, I had to really go get them with questions quite intently before they'd open up and even then. Exhausting.
And then everybody gathered around some old re-runs of a 1980's comic group, which killed all possible interactions on top of being supremely boring. These guys would just stand quietly, bear (bottle) in hand, other in their pant pocket.
This is the look I am referring to: youngish, wearing a colorful goofy tee-shirt under a strict suit jacket, not too buff and sometimes even frail, most of them sporting a clean beard but not to a lumber-sexual length, prematurely balding, glasses optional, longish hair optional... the slightly chubby type will also display a newsboy or driving cap with a button up vest.
What is it? My son explained to me they are Nu-Males, raised on campuses where they can always run to a "safe place" which saves them from dangerous harsh human interactions, hence my difficulty communicating to them. I am so discouraged.

Then apparently there is also another group for girls called Tumblrinas (pics 4-6), with sometimes bad connotations but not always: intellectual girls who will purposely display a Plain Jane bare face under brightly colored hair. They could be the female pendant to the Nu-Male. Or am I not getting it?

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Anonymous

Sounds like a generation gap to me. It's a whole different way of looking and communicating.

Mochi

Veteran

Isn't 6 a pic from Amelie, a French movie from the 90's? (ETA 2001)

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Hipsters and manic pixie dream girls.

krishnidoux

Veteran

Mochi yes, but the way she looks is exactly how the "tumblrina" usually looks like.

krishnidoux

Veteran

Janet, LOL

Anonymous

Thanks for sharing these new monikers -- it's so hard to keep up with all this stuff. I love "tumblrina"!! And pixie dream girls is darn good, too. (No disrespect intended.)

rabbit

Veteran

I was thinking exactly what Janet said, so not so much a new phenomenon although my impression was that mpdg's are more male fantasy than real person. Tumblr has a certain culture and level of political awareness though - so users may have shared values.

Heh, I'm near the upper end of the hipster age group, but I remember first noticing when no one danced at gigs any more, people would just stand there with the beer, hand in pocket and occasionally nod to the music.

ETA: also yes, I think these are reddit originated stereotypes, so big grain of salt.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Rabbit, I've been to so many of those shows! We call it the "too cool for school" crowd.

rachylou

Veteran

Omg, rabbit! Yes. Why doesn't anyone dance anymore? It's like the freeking symphony!

Also, krishi baby (btw, my mother told me never to marry anyone who calls you baby ), um, Nu-Males don't have any experiences. Because they don't experience any of their experiences. You can blame that on their smartphones, but that's really just a cover story.

Mwahaha!

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

Krishnidoux, your post made me smile.

I guess I do have a thought about this, it's called weak social skills. Is it possible that it is taking longer to acquire those given so much contact is not in person but via some sort of device? Then when you hit middle age, 45-65, people become much wiser about social interactions. If people are lucky they have another 10 or 20 years like this. But after 80, those social skills may falter again. (85% of people over 85 have some form of dementia.) At least this is my experience dealing with the public on a daily basis. Whenever I serve a family with extremely polite children, with good social skills, I make it a point to pull a parent aside, after they have paid for example, to tell them what a great job they've done with their kids.

krishnidoux

Veteran

Wow Coco! What a great insight. But horrible!!!! A bell curve, if you will, of pple's social skills... with a tiny peak in the late working and early retirement years, only to fall back again... how sad. True, youth are dependent of their devices but so are we!

Rachylou you crack me up! Ok I will listen to your mother. Is the French "bébé" exempt? Somehow I can't resist a guy who calls me that way. I think these guys had some out of the ordinary interesting experiences. They were all gov. workers at Foreign Affairs, with experience abroad usually. Many of them had acquired that experience even before being hired by the gov. Another had a whole education in music and played various instruments. So you'd think they would want to share it. But I really had to go insist to subtract information... maybe the problem was that precisely, they were future diplomats?

I had the impression - maybe it was a false one - that their demeanor was somehow part of their attire, like they were acting the part, but which one?

One girl was more normal though, yet not the extra-talkative type.

rachylou

Veteran

Btw, I have a funny guy friend who feels boys don't get many validating at large societal messages these days or have a standard of manhood they can comprehend - all of which explains the cult status of Fightclub. Sometimes he's a riot. Of course, we're from the West Coast and the amalgamation of messaging is no doubt disconnected and disturbing. Basically no one knows what they're doing is the upshot, and I can't argue, hehe.

Gaylene

Veteran

Hmm, can I just say that my experience with 25-45 year old males like those in the pictures is quite the opposite. I find most of them interesting, articulate, and thoughtful when I talk to them, despite the fact I'm old enough to be their mother--or grandmother. Yes, their interests don't necessarily coincide with mine, and sometimes they are unsure of how to initiate an interaction with an older woman, but, once I've shown some interest in learning in getting to know them, my interactions with them seem much the same as with any other age group.

I guess we all see different things.

JAileen

Veteran

Audrey Tautou is a plain jane?

My son is 28. He definitely has good communication skills. He has taught both children and adults. He seems comfortable talking to different age groups. He does have a beard, though, and dresses kind of strangely IMO. I attributed this to his buying most of his clothes from thrift stores.

Desmo April

(website)

Veteran

I know a ton of people that fit the physical description. I generally don't find conversation with any of them a problem.

What is the problem with "
Plain Jane bare face under brightly colored hair?" First, not a single example that you have posted is anything even approaching plain Jane. Second, why can't a woman wear minimal makeup?

rachylou

Veteran

Futurama could be a good conversation starter...

Sally

Veteran

My nephew dresses like that and has a beard. He is a very articulate person who has a lot to contribute to a conversation.

Having said that, there are always perceptions about others across generations or even across different groups. People might be quiet outside of their social circle, be it differences in age, cultural groups etc because they are not sure how someone will react or what they would talk to someone about.

I saw a girl with brightly coloured hair in the thrift shop I went to yesterday. It was blue hair and really suited her olive complexion. I can't remember what she was wearing.

krishnidoux

Veteran

I didn't mean to offend anyone! Of course not everybody is like this. Of course many people fitting the above description will be articulate and hold brilliant conversation! And of course, a bare face is certainly not wrong, neither is the Plain Jane look. Far from it!

I was just trying to identify trends among younger pple I have met recently. When I was young, we also had trends like this: punk, new-wave, grunge... and those also came with an attitude. I'm sure I was the silliest of them all. But it's beside the point.

rachylou

Veteran

My brother doesn't dress like this, and he's a talker (read 'pontificator' ), but he doesn't experience his experiences. That's the cold hard truth. He is an Evolutionist via PBS. I took evolution in school for my degree, therefore I ALWAYS take the Creationist side of our chats. Hehe.

JAileen

Veteran

Krishnidoux, I wasn't offended! I do know from my son and his friends, though, that there is a lot of variation amongst them. Some are outgoing and some are shy, most have tattoos (except my son), and all are interesting and funny.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I think part of the change is the whole PC movement gone haywire - it seems that many younger people are overly concerned about offending someone or revealing some bias that they often tend to clam up in social situations. Lately I'm enjoying the rural "country" kids who seem to be eager to discuss nearly any topic, rather it's what they went hunting for last weekend, or who they intend to vote for and why. Not to mention they seem to know how to actually work on things and fix them. And often they play music or sing as well. Love that type of multi-talented individual!

BlondeAmbition

Are we criticizing clothes or personalities? I quite like the look and would describe it as a hipster nerd. People come with a variety of personalities so I think it's wrong to generalize an entire group of men based on what they wear. I think "plain Jane" is a totally unfair way to describe any woman and plenty of women with the name Jane wouldn't like it either. The girls are quite stylish by the way, nothing plain there.

krishnidoux

Veteran

I am not criticizing anyone, but trying to understand. I am sorry if my words sounded harsh, it was not intended that way. The "Plain Jane" look is just a reference, a trend that seems to be on the rise. It's not any better nor worse than anything else. The expression "Plain Jane" is used as a tentative to describe in part an attitude on top of a style, and to me, it is not deprecatory, but neutral. Maybe it is because English is not my mother tongue. I realize I should not have used this expression.

LaPed

Veteran

Speaking as a 30 year old, I feel the current hipster-normcore-nerdcore look is a completely separate issue from young people who aren't comfortable being outspoken. To me the looks you've shown are all very stylized, intentional, deliberate statements. I definitely wouldn't consider those women plain-jane or sporting no-make-up looks... And I know plenty of men who don suspenders and newsboy caps and manage to be articulate and witty.

My generation is in an odd place right now when it comes to free speech vs safe spaces; I have very complicated feelings about this subject and I won't get into a lengthy diatribe here, but I think it has a lot to do with living our social lives online and the slurs, trolling, stalking, and other negative fallout that result from our new modes of communication.

What ties these two phenomena together, I'd say, is that we are arguably the first post-modern generation. We've been steeped in Foucault, Derrida, etc, and have a hard time swallowing the notion of culture as a monolith, or opinions as truth...

Anonymous

Just to keep it real -- the original post had quite a few negative words, like "boring," "exhausting," "discouraged," etc., so I can understand why people felt you were being harsh.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Thinking more of it, it's true, the way people dress is not necessarily representative of a particular mindset or personality, etc. Although I will admit after interviewing hundreds of people in my life, there are definitely some common threads. Pun not intended but it works well.

I think especially when we are younger we experiment with many different styles and sometimes throughout life even never settle on just one. The whole "shadow style" and "style shift" conversations here on YLF come back to mind.

Anyway, I hope younger people will not stifle their own opinions due to fear of backlash. Freedom of speech and of opinions, etc. is SO important to progress.

catgirl

Veteran

Our upscale consignment store is called Plain Jane and sells the most stylish items in town.

Anonymous

I haven't read all of the comments, but my DD has social anxiety and behaves in a similar fashion. She's in therapy, on medication, and gradually getting better. She's definitely not afraid to express her beliefs and opinions at home, though. At least, as a mother, I can be glad that she opens up to me.

rachylou

Veteran

The vast majority have never had etiquette lessons and very little of the old etiquette is preserved today. How many people know who should present or introduce himself/herself first when an older and younger person are meeting for the first time? If you're jogging or biking on a sidewalk or narrow lane, and you're coming up on a person going in the same direction, how many know the words (in English) to say? How many know 'bad neighborhood' etiquette? I think it's very interesting, then, the role clothing plays in these situations.

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