YLFers are completely inclusive and embracing of everyone and open-minded and welcoming, every last one of us. Angie wouldn't allow anything less. She really sets the tone around here, and for that reason, newbies can feel completely safe in posting. It's scary the first time, but wait for the fab feedback you'll get, and you'll soon be hooked like the rest of us.

I've been here 2 years now, and my participation ebbs and flows, which in my estimation is normal. Sometimes I have more time to devote and can read and respond to threads, sometimes I can't. In the beginning, I used to respond to every thread!

I recall a post from a little while back relating to some people not commenting on outfit threads because they may not feel that they can provide an objective opinion due to differences in style etc. I can see how that could be seen as discouraging from a newbie's point of view if there is an outfit post and there are not many comments on it but on the other hand you cant force people to make a comment about something that they're not interested in. I find this tends to sometimes happen with people maybe just starting out or if you're style is in the "classic" sense, and you may attract people to comment purely because they like the same kind of styles as you. While I can look at an outfit post as Annagybe mentioned above (leather leggings) I might not necessarily comment and because the look isnt the "mainstream" you can see why that person might not get as many comments because it is to less people's tastes. Hope that all makes sense I havent had brekky yet so my brain is still morning fog!

Having said that, I have always felt welcomed. It is hard being on the other side of the world to the great majority of you but it is a great insight about how people live in all corners of the globe and hopefully one day I can get to meet some of you

Although I have been on the forum for a long time, I'm an infrequent poster (or perhaps more accurately, a sporadic poster). For what they're worth, here are my thoughts:

I agree that this forum is very welcoming. I never feel like anyone is mean, catty, or would leave someone out. In the time I have been on this forum I have seen many new posters become solid members of the community. I think the women here recognize that everyone was new at one point, and actively try to be inclusive.

Having said that, I think that the one thing that really makes a person more a part of the community is posting photos. I realize I would be more included if I did so, but I don't. I have two main reasons for this. The first (and biggest) is that it is really impractical for me to do so. My full-length mirror is located in a foyer with poor lighting, and the colors never look right when I take photos. I feel like people wouldn't be able to accurately assess my wardrobe if they saw the colors as they appear in the photos I would post.

The second is that although I am confident in my style, the feedback I would want would have to do with fit. To be honest, I almost feel like the women on this forum are TOO nice when it comes to discussing fit. I'll amend that: either they are too nice, or they are looking at other aspects of an outfit, like its style, trendiness, etc., and fit isn't as front-and-center. I can totally understand this because people on the internet aren't going to really know if that stomach pooch is something I can hide easily, or if it is just part of my shape that I have to deal with if I'm going to wear clothes. When it comes down to it, my questions would be more of the "is this flattering to my thighs" or "do you see my gut sticking out here" and I don't feel like those are questions I see asked/answered all that much on this site.

Along those lines, I also feel very reluctant to post when someone is wearing something I do not think is the most figure-flattering. I am critical with myself in this regard, and sometimes I will see someone wearing something that pulls oddly, or highlights a problem area. I believe that when people post photos they want to know about those things, but when 20 people have rated something "killer," I feel like everyone is going to think I am a mean and negative person if I say "well, I think it's a little tight on your backside."

And speaking of killer, I guess one thing I think might be off-putting to others is that it almost seems that a lot of the women on the board use the same vocabulary, if that makes sense. There is a lot of "killer," "launching into orbit," "specs" (instead of glasses), etc. I realize that these are all Angie-isms, and I am certainly not criticizing Angie (I don't think that's something she can or should change), and I'm not even criticizing anyone else who likes to adopt her terms. But since those terms aren't necessarily mainstream in the US, I can see how someone brand new might come in, see the repetition of that language among several people, and feel like they just don't fit in.

I would LOVE to see photos of your edgy looks annagybe!

Yay Colombine! I hope to see your pictures too!

I do not think this site is cliquey at all. Just that fact that its carefully being considered as an issue by the members themselves proves that. I've been following it for a couple of years now and piping in more and more because I have cancelled the Direct TV and this is what I spend that free time doing for now.

Reading this thread has been a good reminder for me to be more thoughtful of what I put out there and how it might be received by someone else.

I just saw your post Steph and am grateful for your honesty. This is stepping off the topic now but what happened to the constructive rating system? Was it intentionally discarded or did it just naturally fade? I liked the system for the reasons you mentioned, it gave everyone the same "language" and allowed all kinds of feedback. I'll post this question as a new topic too.

I'm fairly new and have not posted often but, thunalata posted most of my thoughts. I know my style has been very plain (thus the reason I'm here! ha ha), so I feel like posting a picture is gong to bore most. So, right now, I'm looking at what everyone else is wearing and I'm slowly building my accessories and wardrobe.

I don't reply to many posts because at this stage, I don't really know what to contribute. I can say if it looks pleasing to the eye, but to offer suggestions, I'm just not there yet.

First, welcome Colombine, nice to hear from you!

I have been a member here for about 2.5 years and it is the nicest, warmest and most welcoming internet community I have ever been part of. Sure, it takes tame to get to know people, and there is certainly history, but isn't it everywhere? I mean when you start a new job, or move, or join a new club etc. the others already there know each other, have joint past, use similar expressions and shortcuts, it's like that everywhere.

I have to say, while there are a lot of close friends here, some even before YLF, and some through YLF, I would never use a word "clique" for it, beacuse for me it means that a particular circle of people is excluding of the others, in kind of "us and the rest of the world" mentality; which couldn't be further away from the truth.

Lisa, you and everyone are more than welcome to answer the "ask X" threads, people do it all the time and it would actually be pretty boring if only X answered it. It is just a way to get the attention of "X" since the threads move so fast.

Anna, I really really hope you decide to post outfits/photos etc. more often! I am very intrigued by the items and style you are describing and I would be so wearing similar stuff if I could get away with it. We don't all have to have similar styles, diversity makes it fun.

Steph, I appreciate your honesty. I would encourage you to ask fit questions and say when you think something is not flattering on someone. I think that this forum intends to all various aspects of fashion, and fit is by far one of the most important ones. I have seen plenty fit specific questions and honest answers as well. And I respectfully but strongly disagree about the issue of "Ange-isms". While the majority of people here are in the US, not all of them are and there are plenty of members from other continents, and plenty of US- based members who are originally from somewhere else. I do not think just beacuse something is not mainstream US it is wrong. I personally enjoy learning all sorts of expressions used by people all over the world. Even within the US there are plenty of language differences between various areas of the country.

Hi Tanya, I just want to make sure that you don't misunderstand my post. I'm not saying that any of the "Angie-isms" are "wrong" in any way, nor am I saying that they are particularly "non-US" or "foreign." I'm just saying that I don't think they are necessarily terms that are common in the US (where most of YLFs readers are) or really, even in the world. What I think has happened is that Angie, or in some instances other posters, will use a term that is not necessarily widely used, and then other posters pick up on it, and then all of a sudden, a lot of people are using those terms.

It's not a problem in and of itself, but I could see how someone new coming in could read thread after thread with "killer" and "launching into orbit" and the like and think that they are somehow missing something and don't belong because they don't "speak the language" of the forum.

I don't know that it is actually the case that people feel that way, and I'm not even saying that people should change the habit. It was just that I thought the pervasiveness of certain otherwise uncommon terminology might be off-putting to newbies, or might make the people who all use those terms appear cliquey when they aren't. I hope that clarifies a little. (I also think that every writer has her own voice, and Angie's is unique. The idea that she would or could change it is *not at all* what I meant.)

I also thought of one more thing to add about why I refrain from posting, particularly when what I have to say is in some way critical. As someone who doesn't post photos of myself, I often feel that I don't really have the currency necessary to say things that might be negative. My assumption is that others will think "why should I listen to her? I have no idea what she looks like, what her style is like, what her taste is, etc." And I wouldn't blame people for feeling that way. I wonder if other newbies might feel similarly? Of course, the solution is quite simple: post photos! Just another thought I had to throw out there.

Thank you for the clarification Steph ! I totally see and get what you are saying, it is a little bit of a forum language, but I did not think it is any different from other "group language". I am not a native English speaker anyway, so most of the colloquial expressions are something I have to learn - so basically mainstream US or some other version of English are relatively foreign to me. We had at some point had a couple of fun threads here on the "Ange-isms", or different meanings of some clothing item names in US vs. England vs. Australia etc. (vest, knickers, jumper just to name a few), ot even different general expressions meaning the same thing ( " crossing fingers" and "holding thumbs").

And I really do not think you need any currency to express your opinion. Fresh new opinions are more than welcome, actually strongly encouraged. Sometimes when I ask a particular questions I can predict pretty well what some people that I know are going to say, so some different and/or unexpected comments would be awesome.

I don't post much, but I always feel very welcome. I got a lot of opinions on the harem pants I posted.

I'd post more outfit pictures if I had a full-length mirror. I had to drag a stepstool into the bathroom.

I have been a forum member for almost a year now, but I still clearly remember how I felt when I was just getting my feet wet: I was very intimidated by the uber stylish women on the forum. I felt my style quotient was nowhere as high as some of the regular posters, but at the same time this motivated me to start posting pictures and become an active forum member. For me, posting pictures helped immensely in feeling more comfortable on the forum. Another hesitation I had in the beginning was commenting on others' posts: I thought I didn't have any constructive/useful feedback to give. When I started posting my own pictures I slowly started to become more comfortable with the group and everything began to feel more natural. I wouldn't say that I felt that YLF was "cliquey" but I immediately knew who had been around the forum for a while (even without the "veteran" label it is obvious). But none of this turned me off from the forum. On the contrary, the bit of hesitation I felt really motivated me to get involved and start improving my wardrobe. I wanted to be like the uber stylish forum members! I am SO glad I jumped into the forum and became an active member. I feel that I have made some great connections and my self confidence and style has truly sky rocketed.

On the topic of OT posts - While I do think that some of them really have no place on the forum, I also see their benefit. I have written a lot about my job struggle and although the topic is grossly off topic, I have received so much support. There are three ladies on the forum who have gone above and beyond to help me -- from coaching me on interview skills, to having a mock phone interview with me, to searching job ads for me -- these connections have all come from posting an OT thread. So while I agree that some of them have no place on the forum, I don't see the harm in the occasional OT post. I think it makes YLF feel more like a social networking website, which is great. It also makes the forum feel more homey. I personally would love to get to know each and everyone of you in more detail!

So that's my story. Welcome to all the lurkers. We're a nice group of people here. I promise!

Wow, fascinating discussion, and I have a few points I'd like to weigh in on.
Caveat: all of the opinions I'm going to express are on behalf of myself alone. I don't want to presume to speak for the group or the founders.
First of all, I'd like to echo what many others have said -- this is the warmest, most inclusive and most welcoming online community I have ever come across. I was drawn to the forum through Angie's blog and encouraged to join when I saw the consistently thoughtful, intelligent and helpful feedback that was provided both by Angie and others. There also seemed to be a great deal of consistency in the type of feedback, which greatly appealed both to my fairly conservative style persona and my unique circumstances.
That said, I can see how the very factors that attracted me to this community could be offputting to others. The relative uniformity of opinions could falsely lead a casual lurker to believe that we are all parroting Angie, dispensing platitudes for the sake of positivity or otherwise leaving our critical thinking skills out of the process. This is in no way my opinion, but I can see that others may come to this conclusion.
At core, we all seem to share a set of fashion values. Our styles may differ radically, but our acceptance and interest in Angie's advice does signal something fundamental about most of the forum regulars. In my experience, most of us are striving for a current, polished and reasonably modest look (in varying degrees). This is just a guess, but I suspect people who are hoping to associate words like "sexy," "avant-garde" or "Grungy" with their style may not be naturally drawn to either Angie's tips or this forum. Someone coming here for the first time may notice our almost universal preference for knee-length skirts or widespread aversion to capri-length pants and decide their own style may be rejected out of hand, or that efforts would be made to make them change something they're not willing to compromise on.
Of course, I firmly believe that those people would be pleasantly surprised if they were to take the risk, present a different perspective and plunge into the forum...but I believe this thread is meant to elicit frank opinions on what an outsider might think, so there it is.
I know that I personally love to hear a wide variety of opinions when I post my outfit threads. A classic example took place recently when I posted regular updates on the design of my cocktail dress. And Steph, I would like to give particular credit to you for going against the tide with some of your comments. Your remarks prompted others to speak up in turn, and your input prompted me to make some changes to the design and take home what I firmly believe to be a superior garment. I'm sure you felt nervous about telling me what you really thought, but I can assure you it was well-received both by me and other forum members. I am confident the same would apply to people who are naturally drawn to different styles than those that tend to feature here. Many people come here in search of fashion inspiration, and even the most seasoned fashionista likes to keep evolving her style. Your individual approaches could breathe new life into countless wardrobes -- you just never know! And even if they don't, I would stake my life on the fact that they would never be summarily dismissed, depreciated or devalued.
All of this to say that I believe this forum epitomizes the old addage "you get out of life what you put into it." People's positive experiences with the forum tend to synch up directly with how much they participate. To newbies, including Colombine and Sijyk, I extend a warm welcome and open invitation to give this community a try.

A word, too, in defense of the off-topic post. I happen to love these posts and feel they are an invaluable part of the overall Youlookfab experience. I may be biased, since I can't view people's pictures, but OT posts allow me to get to know people on a deeper level which greatly enhances my appreciation of the community we've all chosen to adopt. Some of the off-topic posts have fundamentally impacted my life in very positive ways, and the knowledge I have gained about other forum members have resulted in what I consider to be genuine and meaningful offline friendships. I absolutely understand if people wish to limit the number or nature of their off-topic posts, but I know I, for one, would be very sad to see them disappear.

I've been reading ylf and the forum much much longer than I've been posting. I read when I need a break at work and I never thought it appropriate to participate from a work computer. So I never signed up until I had a question to post of my own. Anyway, I have noticed in the more recent months that there seems to be an "inner circle" of ylf members and then an outer circle. I won't use the word clique because I agree with Tanya that a clique implies exclusivity which is not present here. Anyway, those in the inner circle are just those that comment more frequently than others. I really think the more involved you get in this community you will naturally become part of the inner circle. Personally, I don't have the time to devote to ever reach that status but I'm okay with that But it's not an exclusive group, everyone who frequently posts will become part of that.

I'm not really sure if any of this makes sense but those are my thoughts.

This is such a warm and embracing community and I am sure that everyone feels the same.I used to make sporadic posts sometime last year,but then the baby came and managing two kids under two gives me little time on the laptop.I try and read as when I can,but I am unable to keep up with the rate at which the posts gets updated.Today I noticed that to make things easier,the conversations are being marked.From now on,I will make a conscious effort to make time to contribute.

Steph, I just want to say that I have always appreciate your spin on things when you post on the blog or forum...in fact yours is usually a comment I seek out. Truth be told diversity in fashion ideas and thought is really fun here. Also I understand what you mean about not wanting to appear unkind in a comment. I rarely critique a forum member negatively unless they PM me because it just goes against my nature to say something that might appear unkind. But I appreciate others who do so eloquently:)

I think another thing that may turn off a new member is when someone takes a fashion conversation and SPINS it into a political comment. I am sure their are plenty of political blogs in which to commiserate, and that puts me off BIG TIME. When I was a lurker and even now when I see it. I prefer to keep our fabulous fashion blog AWAY from politics!!! it is just divisive and unfriendly!!

As far as OT stuff...I don't post that sort of topic myself, but It doesn't bother me.

Steph, I'm actively inviting you to speak up, at least on my posts. I like to hear ALL opinions and take everyone's feedback into account. Ultimately it is my decision, and I know that, but I value the input I get here and that is why I post.

I frequently offer a dissenting opinion because I just don't feel it is constructive to only hear one side when another exists. Otherwise, why even bother to ask?

I am pretty new here - just started to read the blog in May. I did not feel for a second the "clique" thing. Quite the opposite, I felt the real friendship behind these posts and this is what attracted me the most. It took me some courage to post my first picture but after that it was much easier.
I confess I do not comment on every post I read. Sometimes I have nothing interesting to say and feel that I will be repeating others. However when I post something I do not mind people saying the same things at all :-). Now I selected a different tactic for myself: I read just the initial post and then reply without reading other comments. It allows me to express myself easier and not be influenced by others or feel like they said everything already.
I would also like to defend OT posts: they demonstrated to me that the members of this forum built some wonderful relationships here and I think this is great. Nobody is excluded but you need to earn the right to get into that "inner" circle and I do not see anything wrong with this. This is what makes this forum so much alive and interesting!

BTW, Taylor what do I need to put into my next posts to get an honest critique from you :-)? I admire your style so much and think that your critique will be invaluable for me!

Sveta, Thank you!
I am ALWAYS honest I may make a gentle suggestions only IF the poster asks for suggestions! Angie's trained eye and her take on the fashion questions is what I look for.
I will be more mindful of that on your future posts, and i would happily answere any and all specific questions !!:)

Thanks to those who delurked and offered their opinions. And a special welcome to you too!

I'm going to keep my responses short:

o Anna – please post your edgy style. I’d *love* to see it.

o Steph – if you have a differing opinion – feel free to share it. We’d love to hear it.

o A lot of our readers are based in the US and Canada but it’s definitely changing as we get more and more readers from all over the world. I speak English-English because that’s what I know and what I was taught. You can speak in which ever type of English you feel most comfortable with.

o If you’re uncomfortable posting on YLF – that’s okay!

o But if you start posting pictures, your threads will automatically get more traffic and you will become a more engaged forum member.

o Rosie – I don’t know why some people comment on some threads and not on others. I make a point of ALWAYS going to threads with few responses first. Everyone here deserves to be graced with a comment especially if you comment on other threads. And on that note I’d like to thank you, Kim, Louise, Marianna, Taylor, Tanya, Inge, Julie and Sandy for deliberately going to threads with little traffic. I appreciate it more than you know.

At the end of the day, if this forum works for you, you’ll participate. If it doesn’t you’ll stay away. Greg and I hope that we can constantly provide a space that works for most :0)

I think Melllllls hit it spot on. I don't feel like YLF is cliquey now, and I can't ever really remember it being that way. However, the more posts you make, the more people will "recognize" you, and the more they will learn about you, and you will naturally interact the most with others who post just a frequently. I joined the forum right after Angie opened it up, back when conversations moved very slowly, and you'd only get a few new ones per day. Now it's so busy! But I love that. There are so many new people here. Due to my circumstances as a student trying desperately to finish college (and being quite unhappy in the process), I just don't have the time to post as often as I used to. I still drop by and read the occasional post and if I feel I can add something new, I comment. However, the board is so active, and so many of you are eloquent writers that usually I find someone else has expressed my sentiments in a far better way than I probably could. I don't really think adding one more, "You look great," is very valuable for the original poster, so I usually don't post anything. However, I do enjoy perusing the outfit photos and seeing the style transformations many of you have gone through. I like to read the odd OT post, too. Along these lines, it would be nice if the subject of a post was a bit more descriptive of what's actually in the post, as there has been some confusion for me at times, but it's not a regular thing so it doesn't bother me that much. In the future, if things settle down a little, I will probably post more often. Until then, I'm happy to hang around "quietly" and enjoy the conversation.

I still consider myself a newbie, but feel welcomed. I do want to echo Mac's sentiments about unclear titles and references to things that are not in the post or thread. While it is natural in conversation, it can make a reader feel left out.

Maya, I appreciate your taking the time to make the initial post on this thread. Thanks for asking. Here's my $.02 worth.

I'm a newbie, having only discovered YLF about a month or so ago. I haven't commented much because 1) it's hard to find the time, and 2) I also don't have a good setup for taking pics. So mostly I just read what others post, and enjoy the running commentary.

I don't think YLF is cliquish. Any community or small group, whether virtual or in real life, can feel difficult to break into at first, because one is dealing with a group of people who have already established relationships with each other. One of the things that's impressed me here, and kept me coming back, is the fact that it really IS a community, with lots of active members; and the overall tone of both Angie's posts and the comments are positive and affirming.

I look forward to getting more involved as time goes on.

What a fascinating thread! Maya, thanks for starting it, and welcome to everyone who is new!

I've been posting on YLF for 4 months, and it actually seems like a couple months longer, probably because I lurked for a couple months before jumping in. Anyway, it definitely takes work to keep track of who is who, (especially when real names are different than YLF names and profile pictures aren't of the person posting). Even after following the forum for a while I'm still finding it odd trying to jump back in - a lot happens here every day, and it can be a bit daunting to get home at the end of the day and catch up if I haven't been on in the past 24 hours.

Which actually makes me think that maybe everyone shouldn't post on every post. That isn't to say that people shouldn't post when they want to, but that it's ok to not post when you can't think of anything to say. In fact, there are a good chunk of threads that I never open simply because I'm not that interested, doubt I'll have anything to contribute, and need to keep my YLF participation manageable. And if I read a response that says all that I want to say, I'm fine with just saying "I agree with _______" and leaving it at that. It gives the comment more weight, but saves time for everyone reading it (and me writing it).

I have to echo everything Taylor said (what a surprise, she often says exactly what I was thinking!): I think the beauty of YLF is that it can accommodate each person's forum preferences and personalities. You are *always* going to have lurkers and newbies, and people, newbies and veterans alike, will post as often or as rarely as they are comfortable with. I think what is important for us regulars to keep in mind is to just continue with the warm and welcoming tone when someone does decide to join in, and that's all that's required of us. Let people join at the comfort level they want. The second most important thing we can do to encourage people to post, when they *do* post, is not to invalidate their opinion or their perspective just because it doesn't fit ours. An opinion is just that, an opinion, and we all have different ones!

Steph and I forgot who else mentioned it, you make a great point about the group language; all groups have their own common phrases and nicknames and shorthand, but it can be off-putting when you don't know it. I hadn't really thought about it that way, but I will definitely be more careful in the future! I do try to keep my subject lines descriptive of the topic, though, so hopefully that helps.

I'm fairly new here, but I've spent plenty of time on internet forums. There's definitely a bit of the ol' "you can't please all of the people all of the time..." thing that goes on in forums. That being said, when I saw the post, I racked my brain for something that could have made me feel more welcome and I remembered back to the "who's who" thread. I see that thread as sort of a spot for everyone to introduce themselves to the group, but people don't usually respond there. Maybe it's to avoid mucking up the thread, I'm not sure. I'm going to sound really lame here, but I remember watching my post sit there for a week w/ no responses. I know it can be a bit tedious for the veteran members to stop and say hi every time a new person shows up, but I do think it goes a long way for that new person. I wasn't run off by it, because I starting posting threads and pictures right away too, and those got comments. If that had been my only post, and I was waiting to feel welcome (I know some people do this) I might not have come back.

Okay, that was a pretty long ramble about the only negative thing I can say. On the other hand, I wanted to mention that the OT stuff actually makes me feel more involved and more a part of the forum. For one thing, we're a group of women who are navigating fashion and how it fits into our varied lives. Our lives are relevant to that discussion. It helps to know that someone has been on a job search, or is a new mom, or just went through a break up, when you're evaluating whether an outfit works for them. Also, it helps me remember people. I love it when I see a post and someone says "That shirt would look great with your white pants!" because there's a personal connection. For me, I need a little more information to be able to remember the details like that. Somehow, the OT connects the dots for me.

All in all, this is one of the most gracious and welcoming forums I've ever seen. I agree with the previous poster that it almost borders into the territory of too polite. That's not always a bad thing, though.

Traci, you've brought up an excellent point about the Who's Who thread. I usually check that thread about once a month to catch up on the newcomers. I never thought that a newcomer might be putting herself out there for the very first time and waiting for a response. I know how daunting it can be to come out of lurking.

What I have been seeing lately is that some of the newcomers have started a separate thread of their own titled "An Introduction" on the forum board. I really like this as it alerts us all that there is a newcomer and gives us all the opportunity to say welcome. I wish I had thought to do this when I came out of lurkdom. I'm so happy that you didn't let the initial lack of responses deter you, and a big welcome to you! It's wonderful to have you here!

What an eye opening thread this has been. Thanks for all of your thoughtful replies.

The primary reason I started this thread is because I have heard the word "clique" thrown around by newbies or less active members on various occasions and I was surprised, to say the least. I guess this is a minority of people, though, and there is no use trying to please everyone. I was just trying to get clarification as to whether this is a widespread opinion, and I am happy to see it isn't.

That said, my own perspective somewhat echoes Steph's. I am very frequently a dissenting voice on this forum...not just because I like to start trouble (which is probably true...), but because I feel I owe (and in turn expect) an honest response when someone posts something out to the jury. On issues like age appropriateness, I know I stand far and away from being in the majority, and I'm quite all right with that. While I wholeheartedly respect Angie's wisdom and experience, I believe (and think she would agree) that it's ok to disagree. It doesn't mean you are undermining her expertise. At the end of the day, style is so subjective and as long as you have a reason for your opinion, it's fine to express it. It is good for all of us--Angie included!!--to hear other perspectives. Sometimes I see a dissenting opinion and I think "wow, I never would have thought/seen that" and it really gives me a new POV, or one person will dissent and it makes other people who were otherwise afraid to disagree come out and agree with the dissenter (did that make any sense?).

The problem with any kind of style guide or community is that people can start looking a bit homogenous fast. A little rebellion keeps us all fresh and different and that can't be a bad thing. Anyway, I mention this because if you're a newbie and you see all these completely uniform opinions, even if you agree, it can be off-putting.

So Steph, I hope you won't back away anymore! I would love to hear your input.

As long as you don't be the dissenting voice for the sake of being the dissenting voice, Maya. I have always encouraged respectful disagreement, but with tact and a clear point.

Angie! Do you think I'd ever encourage people to be tactless and pointless? :p

Maya, I think that this was an incredibly brave thing to do to start this thread and it has been a very useful and constructive conversation.

I was a newby about this time last year and I can honestly say that this is the nicest, most welcoming community that I have ever been part of. Yes, of course there are people that you relate to better and people who relate to you better, but that is the nature of any group off and on line.

I also respect the fact that even if someone doesn't post or participate for a period of time, they are welcomed back as if they never left!

Also, taking the point that it is difficult for newbies when we refer to each other by our real names rather than screen names, I would like to add my real name in brackets to the end of my screen name - how do I do this?