Hi everyone - and Happy New Year to you all!  I took a brief hiatus from the forum in late November (I think?) to regroup and clear my head after some noxious comments on a seemingly innocent thread made me frustrated , sad, and annoyed. I reached out twice afterwards to the person who felt I should be banned from the forum and did not receive a reply.    It turned into a time of real reflection  - something I'm not terribly good at as I usually refuse to think about things that require serious change on my part , and serious commitment .  My view has always been that I'm not a very great person in many regards and that I can't handle anymore reflection about it - which is obviously not the way to attack life and it's myriad challenges .   Anyways - this post has little to do with that post situation and more to do with what I want from fashion, and the role it will play in my life moving forward .

Things I read, things I saw, listened to and thought about over the past 6 weeks (or so)  all drove me toward this :  

1.  I want to and need to change the way I live my day-to-day life.  I want to leave a positive mark on the world, one my daughter can be proud of . I don't want my life to be all about being a consumer - and worrying about not having the right things.  I want to DO , not have and buy.

2. I want to explore and resurrect the creative side of me - one that was blessed with talent in music and the arts - into something that will fill my soul and my time, and provide pleasure for others too.  I know how to play about 6 different musical instruments, and can also  write music . Do I do any of this now ? No.  I am pretty talented with a sewing machine too - and have created a lot of really beautiful clothes and home goods in the past . Do I even own a sewing machine now ? No.

3. I want to and need to make my health and fitness my absolute priority. It used to be, and why it's not anymore is a mystery.  I'm good at that stuff - athletic, coordinated, competitive, and have the ability to succeed - and I'd like to milk it once again.  Sports are a great thing to take into the latter part of one's life.  

4. I want to and need to tighten up my spending, to learn to live with less and on less disposable income , and to prioritize other things than my wardrobe.  I want to free my anxious brain of the perceived need to always look better and dress better, and to enjoy what I have instead of constantly looking for more.  I'm too old for that shit.  And life is short.

5. The environmental impact of constant online ordering and returning is horrific , and I don’t need to search beyond what is here in order to meet my needs . Global retail options have had more negative impact socially and environmentally , and I don’t want to be a part of it . I spent a ton of money ordering from Nordstrom this past year , probably returning half of it , and for what ? No more .

Never having been a planner or a resolution-maker, I'm now going to do it.  I've made a commitment to both myself and my husband that 2020 will be a no-buy year. Yes, this sounds dramatic and crazy, but I'm an all-or-nothing person. I do not need ANY more clothes, and have chosen to not let it continue to occupy my headspace.  I'm well-dressed most of the time, know what I'm doing and what I like, and want to work through all that I own to curate a very tight, functional wardrobe. Fashion is not my hobby, nor do I want it to be.  It was the backbone of my formal education, and has been part of my life since I was a kid (literally) , but I want it to be something to read about and keep abreast of, not a hobby to fuss over and continually spend money on .  I don't need to have the trendiest stuff around - and don't want that look to be mine anyways - especially as I get older.  No clothes or shoes or bags or jewellery or anything other than socks and underwear. No new makeup other than the essentials as I use them up.  No new stuff for the home unless something breaks or wears out.  My daughter doesn't need to have a mother who is a shopaholic and always fretting about not having quite the right thing in her closet. She needs a creative, disciplined, healthy and positive person around her, not the one who currently lives here  

I feel motivated, excited, and capable of moving into this next year, and this new decade with more strength and commitment than I've ever shown.  I am grateful for all of the friendships I've made here on YLF , and am grateful too for all that I've learned. Your positive comments , constructive criticism and feedback on my look and my style of dressing are always lovely, and I appreciate it so much 

May 2020 be what you want and what you need. 

xo
Lisa