Glad to see you post again, Lisa. Hoping you share your journey with us.

I’ve always been more interested in how folks STYLE their outfits, than what things they purchase. I like the challenge of using what I’ve got in my closet in new and different ways, without feeling compelled to add to it. I hope you find a role for yourself on the forum, and share some of your outfits with us going into 2020.

Ditto what Carla said. Acquisition gets boring very quickly while creativity is always interesting.

I think your break from the forum came at a great time for you and your goals are fabulous. Playing six instruments impressed me too! (I play none .) I come from a bit of a different perspective regarding style - for me it is a creative outlet and as the vast majority of my wardrobe is second hand I do not feel that I am *especially* contributing to consumerism with my style/fashion hobby. Which is not to say that I cannot be excessive to a fault with my wardrobe. I absolutely can be, but I am trying to accept myself as the imperfect being I am and not beat myself up for it. Anyway, I have managed to be on this forum for many years now without buying much new stuff at all, and still find it refreshing and inspiring in so many ways. So I invite you to stick around!

Lisa, Of course you have to do what is best for you but I join all the others in hoping we will still have you contributing to YLF.

You know yourself well- what a gift! You sound like a fascinating person, Lisa. Can’t wait to see what 2020 brings for you.

Lisa - I’ve been off the grid for a bit and just saw your post. First, happy, happy new year!! May it be a new beginning of joy and fulfillment for you. Did you ever read Suzuki’s “nurtured by love”. There’s a beautiful passage where his father asks him what he prays for. After he answers, all the usual stuff, his dad tells him he should just say thank you. I read this when my son was still in a crib and since that time, each night, I try and take that power minute to think and be grateful for everything I have. It’s helped me reframe life from focusing on what I want and where I want to go and grounds me in the now so I can be grateful for all I have. You have so many, many gifts - focusing on honoring them and using them to create good and beauty can only help you get to a place of peace and joy. Also when I’m fretful focusing outward on doing good to others shakes me out of that. Whether a kind word, compliment, charity work - it’s more the focus on lifting someone else up which brings real joy. It’s the Middlemarch quote, “But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs." Unremembered acts of kindness, creating beauty, empathy these are the best of what clothes us and leaves an indelible mark of good on the world. You are a beautiful and good person - sharing that will surely bring you joy. Hugs and all happiness!!

Lisa I am glad to see you back. One thing you said is something I have been thinking about. I know my way around a sewing machine and should be using it more. I will always need a creative outlet. I am anxious to see how your no buy year goes. Good luck with all the changes.

I'm so glad to read this post, Lisa. I can relate to this in so many ways! I wish you success and hope that you are able to continue to post on your adventures.

@Gryffin: Well said!

What a great start to the new decade. I really hope you get into sewing as you have such a great eye I am sure you would make some beautiful clothes and items. There is no more special gift than receiving a custom made item. As for the music, wow, I am in awe.

For me setting goals each year is something I enjoy and in many cases I achieve them, which helps me look back on the past year with a sense of accomplishment. Self care, family and financial goals are important. When I slip up, I try to understand what caused it. Of course, sometimes it is just because I wanted to enjoy myself, but at other times there was some emotional baggage that was dragging me down. Self reflection allows me to ditch the baggage and move onwards.

Wishing you great success and happiness in 2020.

lisa p, i'm glad we've "meet" here and not IRL as i think you'd be one of those people who i'd think "she's so talented (play's 6 instruments, is good at sports, can sew and do crafty things) why would she want to talk to me"...i'm hoping you continue to hang out here and share your style with us, and allow us to cheer you on and help to encourage you thru your goals this year.

Lisa,

Let us go into this decade with loads of positivity. We've got this!!

N

Lisa, this is my favorite of all of your posts! I admire your honesty and willingness to be so vulnerable with us. I sincerely hope you have much success with this plan for 2020! Happy New Year!

I love this and can relate to a lot! Wow a year is a long time but it takes time to break a habit so maybe that is what you need. Love the idea of using your creativity as you move forward, it's a shame to have these great skills and not be using them. I totally agree with Carla that seeing how forum members style their outfits is every bit as useful to me as seeing what they buy - I hope you stay around here to help us out!

I am excited about your 2020 goal setting! I can't think of a better way to be a role model to someone than to your own daughter. That's what I would want to be if I was blessed with a daughter. If that isn't motivating - what is?

I have a good friend who is an "all or nothing" person too. For some, that strategy works really well, so I applaud it. Being happy and finding peace in your heart is about soul searching first. The better you know yourself, the easier it is to achieve contentment in all spheres of life. You soul searched and are reaping the reward.

I wish you the very best on your fashion and fitness journey, and hope you keep us posted.

Ok - let's clarify this (lol) :  I knew how to play 6 musical instruments , but could not pick up a flute today and immediately remember the fingering. A guitar - I'd need some refreshers with chords too.  My point was : I had the ability and capacity to do a lot of technically interesting and difficult things, and used to occupy my brain with stuff that had nothing to do with thinking about the perfect wardrobe.  

gryffin! I've been thinking about you ! Happy New Year - and belated Happy Hanukkah. You always have the best quotes, and wisest thoughts to share. THAT is something I so envy. I remember nothing of anything I read - only ephemerally. Working my part-time job in a medical fitness facility has provided me with the opportunity to do good things for others who really need dit, and with the opportunity to be thankful for every day of health that I have. I take none of that for granted. Last week I met the father of a 31 year old woman who had already had 2, yes 2, heart transplants - and he was looking for help for her. My heart broke and expanded at the same time. I love giving in that regard. I think it's important to be more than just consumers and takers in life - and that we owe it to ourselves to do more than just obsess over clothes. That's where I needed to change.

Good luck! I think you can do it, and these are wonderful goals!

Wow, wow, wow! I think this is going to be so awesome for you! I'm glad you've written all your reasons out here, because now when things get tough and tempting, you can come back to this thread and see why you set this goal.

I don't do well with that all-or-nothing mindset, but like Angie, I know people who do, and it's all about knowing yourself and how you'll respond to various challenges. I hope you'll continue to write about the experience here, because I find it inspiring.

Lisa, I’m sorry to hear about that discouraging incident. Although I don’t comment often I want you to know that I am always excited when I see a new post from you. Your posts are always so real and thought provoking. And I love your WIW’s and your sense of style. I hope you will continue showing us your outfits as you explore new ways to wear the things you already have in your closet. The forum would not be the same without you! Wishing you a happy new year filled with joy and peace.

Thank you so much, Lynette, and everyone else here. Not being transparent and honest feels inauthentic and cold to me , and I can't imagine participating in any kind of group or friendship and never talking about myself and what I think about . How do people get to know you otherwise? I find too, that as I get older, I have no interest in relationships that are surface-only.

Glad you're back and sorry to hear about the behind-the-scenes friction on the forum. So here for everything you've written and so impressed with your goal-setting. I feel like I spent several years investing so much time, money and mental energy into clothes, simply because I didn't have the right ones for my body or my climate. Now that the dust has settled, I'm feeling pretty done with fashion-as-a-hobby. Like you, I'm not interested in looking like a person who buys into every trend that comes down the pike.

My mantra for the past few months has been, "Don't let your appearance be the most interesting thing about you," and will hold onto that going into 2020. That doesn't mean looking bland or boring, simply that I want my clothes to be something effortless, a backdrop rather than a focal point. I can't wait to hear about your new hobbies and renewed creative endeavors!

BTW, on the topic of music, if you don't feel like devoting storage space and budget to multiple instruments, have you thought about digital composition? I also wonder if there are drop-in jam sessions that you could join. Jazz jams and folk jams are pretty common where I live, and there are often people who bring multiple instruments and are happy to share. Fun way to meet like-minded folks.

I'm late to this, but it's good to see your post, and your can-do attitude! And, ok, I had no idea about your musical abilities -- that's impressive!

I'm not very good at all-or-nothing, so you have my admiration and support. But otherwise, I can relate with many of your wishes and goals for the coming year. I am focusing more on opportunities and goals this year. I am becoming increasingly aware of how limited our time is here on this earth, and I want to fill my time with activities and people who inspire and motivate me. I'm also wishing to scale back my consumption. Bravo to you! I hope 2020 rocks!

LaPed - YES to not having your appearance be the most interesting thing . I SO agree. Rather than playing music, I think I'd like to dive into reading/attending performances etc . Kind of an old-lady sounding goal, but I think my playing days are behind me, considering I don't own my piano anymore and will never (unless I win the lottery) live in a place large enough for one. Something more to be able to talk about, and offer in conversation ....that's what I am going for .

Janet - I am SO psyched to keep this promise to myself and to my husband, that I'm actually feeling relieved to have taken shopping and keeping-up off of the table. It was always a temporary thrill/high anyways . My health and fitness are going to be my #1 priority this year -and I am so excited to finally feel that way after several years of frustration . I've seemingly overcome my reluctance to work out at the place I work at (world class facility with world class equipment but I hated the idea of people I worked with and members seeing me working out ) and am raring to show myself what I can do. I may not have the newest Lululemon anymore, but ,really, who cares?

Lisa, I am so pleased and excited about your no buy year. I have thought for a while that this would be a good idea for you.
I am a bit envious too. While I take long gaps from shopping and don't buy many clothes, which I enjoy, it does mean taking a year off is a lot harder. And having a few weeks off is showing me how much clutter I have at home. At the moment, a lot is camping gear, which DH has been spending up on.

Anyway, all the best with it.

I shopped far less in 2019 than in past years and I'm hoping to continue that trend in 2020. I have a wardrobe full of clothes I enjoy so I don't really need anything. I'm not going on a complete ban (I just bought myself two new skirts for Xmas) but I want to keep the numbers down. I look forward to hearing how the shopping ban turns out.

Speaking of musical instruments - my mom played guitar and piano when I was growing up and decided to learn the harp a few years ago. Turns out harps are much, much bigger (and more expensive) than I thought.

This is great!
A lot to do, but definitely some good goals
I really like the idea of attending musical performances.

“Rather than playing music, I think I'd like to dive into reading/attending performances etc .”