"natural" vs. "sloppy" - YouLookFab Forum

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"natural" vs. "sloppy"

Mac

Veteran

I don't think I - or most women - look good heavily made up. But, I definitely find that a wee bit of strategic cosmetics can definitely help me look more polished.

And, I don't like the look of very "done" hair; one of the things I like in places like London and Paris is that many women seem to share my aesthetic that a "'do" is often prettier and more flattering when it isn't ironed, sprayed, curled or teased within an inch of its figurative life. (see links to photos of French actress, Julie Delpy, who I think often embodies the beauty of relaxed french hair)

http://static.ibnlive.com/pix/.....py-420.jpg

http://www.talktalk.co.uk/ente.....lpy150.jpg

But when does hair or makeup cross the line from being prettily natural and relaxed to instead looking sloppy and unpolished? Do you ever think you look beautifully undone and then later realise you instead merely look as though you simply didn't make an effort?

Now that I've hit my 40s, I see that I would do well to kick up the polish by a notch or two. But even if I had it in me (I'm not sure I have the discipline or heart to spend hours on my hair and makeup each day), I know there's a fine line between polished and overdone... and between chicly relaxed and unflatteringly unkempt. How do YOU manage to strike the balance?

General

44 replies

Latest reply was from cciele

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Another great question Mac, I love the natural look, which is very handy as I do not have the (alone) time for anything else. Personally I think the difference between natural and sloppy is in the prep. Regular trims (colour optional) should ensure your hair looks healthily natural as opposed to sloppy.

Keeping your skin well moisturised, brows neat and nails trim also ensure a touch a of cheek and lip stain is all that is required in your day to day make up regime.

Of course, this is only my opinion and I'm British.

Mac

Veteran

Thanks, Rose & Joan!

I've been watching the British coverage of the recent elections and in fact this thread was prompted when I noticed how many of the UK female newscasters and politicians look lovely in an entirely less "done" way than some of their US counterparts. Neither aesthetic is better, but it did make me think about my own level of "done-ness."

It reminded me of a student exchange when I was in high school. A group of girls came for a month from a very different region of the continent and were horrified that even the coolest, richest girls at my school wore their hair in artfully loose ponytails or messy chignons and only the tiniest bit of makeup. They told us that we looked "poor" and as though we didn't care. Meanwhile, girls from my school sniggered at their "big hair" and thought they looked like suburban moms. Definitely, there is a huge cultural component of how much polish is too much/too little.

Dawn

(website)

I agree with Julie that the difference between looking polished and sloppy lies in the basics. Having a good haircut and healthy skin definitely help. I used naturally sloppy but now I have an understated but polished look everyday (or most days), and I think much of it comes down to the mentality of 'who cares?'.

However, I think that it also comes down to clothing as well. Investing in basics which will last and culling items which look worn out is also important for a casual look which is also polished.

yublocka

(website)

Veteran

I often fear I'm more in the sloppy than natural camp. I've never quite worked out how to master that delicate balance myself!

Louise

Veteran

I'm just starting to come out of the sloppy phase, and have started taking more care of my skin and popping a touch of make up on everyday. I definately feel more polished and pulled together x

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Oh Mac, please don't get me started on British Politics! You will probably next see WIW to a demonstration!!!

Beth

Veteran

Mac, I can't help but wonder if your school exchange was between the deep south and the northeast:)

"Naturally polished" always makes me think of Jennifer Aniston, who's in her 40s. Not that I think a speck of her look is truly natural, but her makeup isn't obvious and her hair is sleek and flowing, not overdone. She looks better than she did 15 years ago.

Queen Mum

Veteran

I do prefer hair with a bit of relaxed movement over a hairstyle that looks like it's combed to perfection and glued in place, but often that relaxed hairstyle takes as much work as the oober polished hairstlye as beth pointed out. My stylist always says "it takes alot of work to look like you just rolled out of bed ;-)"
But also, I think how much "relaxed" you can handle in your hairstyle has much to do with your facial features and persona. Just as some can get away with a much more relaxed clothing style and others need more structure, some faces wear movement well, and some need a bit more structured hairstyle.

Kristen

(website)

Veteran

I have never been very good at the "relaxed" look; my hair ends up just looking messy and unkempt and my clothes tend to bunch up at the wrong places. I did a "natural" look for many years, wearing no makeup and boring basic clothes and not styling my hair in any real way. I look back at those days and see that I didn't look natural, I looked frumpy.

I also think it's harder to do that relaxed look with straight hair, which I have in abundance. A sleek bob is a good look for me, and with that a tidier outfit tends to be the better choice.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

As Angie always says- the devil is in the details.
Basic grooming and upkeep plays into it, but I also think that the overall look plays a big part. A natural look has to ring throughout your look- from hair to make up, to clothing and accessories.

malcontent

I prefer relaxed hair, certainly, and usually wear my hair down. However, it's important to me to get regular haircuts, to keep my hair looking freshly washed, and to make sure it looks smooth and shiny. Julie Delpy's hair does not really appeal to me in the photos. If she had groomed her hair a bit before pulling it back, it would look great to me, but, as is, it looks a bit on the frazzled side to my eye. So I guess I'm not as fond of the authentically natural look as I am of a more contrived "natural". Even if I have no great plans for the day, I like my hair to look smooth and brushed, and I will touch up my skin with foundation and powder and a light application of lipstick and blush.

Most women I know prefer the "natural" look. I know few women who wear heavy makeup or who heavily tease and lacquer their hair. Even when I wear quite a bit of makeup, I keep my application sheer and my hair seeming less "done". I find the newscaster look incredibly unappealing, with its fake-looking stiff hair (almost always a dyed blonde) and spacklefuls of makeup.

I've noted over the years too that I usually find British and French actresses or media celebrities to be prettier than American ones. I think one of the major reasons is that their teeth look more natural. Most American celebrities look like they are wearing dentures. I also have the impression that plastic surgery is less prevalent with Europeans. I'd far rather see a a face with distinctive natural features than one that has been chiseled into conformity. As well, I tend to feel that breast implants don't add to a woman's beauty, and they seem to be all too common in the U.S. I wish we had a more accepting attitude toward beauty.

Kate

Veteran

I think staying well groomed is a big part of it. Recently when I see a woman who has a lot of potential but is doing something wrong, I've tried to figure out what needs to be changed. A lot of times it's the eyebrows - they really do frame your face, and if unkempt can look really sloppy, and if overdone can look unnatural and just "off".

I think for a lot of women the use of color can make a huge difference, especially with makeup - people should be noticing your eyes, not your eyeshadow, or your face, not your orange-y skin, brightly colored cheeks, distracting lip color, etc. I think there also has to be some kind of overall balance - it looks off to me when a woman's face is very done-up, but her hair is a rat's nest and her clothes are very sloppy.

Maya

Veteran

The "natural" look takes just as much time and effort to get right, in my opinion. Few people look great when they actually just roll out of bed. Yes, basic grooming is important, but it is different for everyone. Some women can let their hair air dry and it looks great, but most can't (although they seem to do it anyway). For me, basic grooming means blowdrying my hair and sometimes straightening it.

Like Malcontent, I am not impressed by Julie Delpy. It doesn't look effortless to me, just sloppy. I have the same hair texture as her, with little baby hairs flying all about, but I always do my best to smooth them away. My hair does not look forced or full of product. It still looks natural and has movement and shine...more so than if I just left it to its own devices. It would look extremely flat, frizzy and dull if I left it alone...much like Julie's.

I do not wear makeup though I keep meaning to start. I have a hard time seeing the difference in myself even though I see it very clearly on others. I just always feel like I come out looking the same with as without, perhaps because I am so minimal. I don't want to use heavy shadows, liners, mascara, etc. Just enough to even out my skin and make me look a bit less tired. I don't think I look bad sans makeup, but I also know there are flaws on full display, and that's okay. I'm only human.

Agree that glow-in-the-dark teeth are a bit of a weird obsession here in the US. I appreciate straight, clean teeth...but the stark whiteness is sort of bizarre to me. Looks like dentures, as someone mentioned.

Louise

Veteran

Maya if you're after mega quick make up I'm currently slapping on suncream using a powder foundation which absorbs shine from the suncream and evens out my skin tone, swirling on a bit of blush then curling my eyelashes and brushing on some mascara and clear on my eyebrows i'm done in 5 mins x

agrace

I think this is such a good and timely question. I couldn't agree more with the assessment that if your hair and skin are in good condition and your nails are even and clean then you have much more freedom and range in this department and will still look good. I have naturally very curly hair. I never look super sleek and polished in the hair department unless it is for the very rare big evening out and I have it blown out flat. The majority of the time it is some sort of pull back loose chignon or ponytail or twist, sometimes I braid it and so on. But I try to keep split ends off of my hair and always keep it clean and use anti-frizz products so it looks well managed, even if less than sleek and super polished.

For skin, to me looking smooth and even and just having a bit of a glow goes a lot further than having it contoured and powdered and so on (for daily wear).

I am pretty low maintenance but I very much believe in and try to ascribe to the notion of keeping the basics in good condition - clean hair, neat nails, maintained complexion, minimal makeup and so on.

And finally, I will say that having gone to a college in the north/ midwest area and also in the South - the difference in this viewpoint heartily seems to change regionally. Very interesting!

judy

Veteran

Mac, first I want to say I enjoy your thoughtfully written and thought provoking posts. Your last one, about when do you enjoy your style, I read and enjoyed but did not end up commenting on.

About the natural look, I'm going to disagree that it takes as much time or effort to look like this than looking pulled together. It doesn't. No hair dryer, flat iron, or make up. I love the Julie Delpy...and Charlotte Gainsbourg and her mum, Jane Birkin...look you've pictured here. But I think I like it because it is the way I already dress. I do not have a polished style and for me, less is definitely more. Since I go simple on the hair and sans make up, what I have learned to improve upon is to buy clothes that fit my body better and that are current. That goes a long way in making me feel and I hope, look better.

But it's not everyone's look and it would be boring if we all looked alike. I personally prefer to see someone with freckles rather than foundation, and not looking overly concerned about having every hair in place. An ease and comfort with ourselves help us radiate our beauty. For some, perhaps that means a lot of ruffles or jewels, where for others, more of a lean look...and everything in between. But whatever the outfit, I do wish that American women would do less make up and less with the overly blonde thing!

Laura

I find this topic absolutely fascinating. I always notice what women spend their time/effort on...I'm not sure what it means but it's interesting! For example. I have a coworker who always gets her nails done but wears her hair in a messy bun.

And then some people have certain characteristics that need more attention...It's worthwhile for them to put effort in them while its not as worthwhile for others (eyebrow shaping, dying hair, straightening hair, coloring eyelashes). I have a friend with really light hair who always wears mascara and I thought it was silly at first then I saw her without it, and I realized that it makes a big difference!

But it sounds like most on here are in agreement that hair and skin are key components of looking polished. And then everyone has unique issues with skin and hair that may need different things.

Though the messy hair like in Julie's photo isn't my personal style, I think it can look great on certain people/looks.

cciele

Veteran

I'm used to seeing a lot of older women around here who don't wear makeup. I think they look beautiful and natural, because they are so comfortable with themselves.

As long as basic personal hygiene and grooming is taken care of, I don't think one looks sloppy or unpolished without makeup. But it's definitely a cultural and regional thing as far as expectations go. I'm sure other people would look at unmadeup women and think they look unpolished, much as Mac's story illustrates.

taylor

Veteran

I will just say this, as I approach my mid 50's I don't look good, nor do I feel good about how I look natural.
Although i spend a minimum amount of time on myself in the morn...literally 40 min from shower to car. I would never think of getting out looking like I just rolled out of bed.
Sure Jennifer Aniston and other high profile celebs look great *natural* but believe me they are anything but natural...there is a team of stylists making sure every lock flows naturally down the side of her professionally made up face. It takes alot of work and alot of money to look naturally beautiful when you are older.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Taylor, you are beautifully made up rather than artificially made up. Your style is all of your own and not a cookie cutter type of beauty. I consider overly made up to be when you notice the make-up or fake tan before you notice the person ikkwim.

Maya

Veteran

I do think there is something to be said for celebrity glamor and our way of thinking everything French is automatically chic (not trying to be condescending, but you must admit it isn't uncommon). When I saw the rumpled Charlotte Gainsbourg in The Science of Sleep I thought she looked like a mess, but I understood it in the context of the movie. I don't really get it in real life. If I didn't know who she was, just as if I didn't know who Julie Delpy was, I would just think "there goes another woman who would look so much better if she just maintained her appearance." Call me snobby if you must. I don't like it when women are sloppy about their clothing, so I am pretty consistent about the rest of their appearance.

There is a great big huge happy medium between heavy makeup, orange tans, and bleached hair that is glued in place and sloppy I-don't-care hair, bushy brows, and dull skin. Unfortunately I have noticed in America women often fall to either extreme. I like to believe I fall somewhere in the vast expanse that falls in the middle, and so does the rest of the YLF community. I never look like I have spent hours on my appearance, nor do I look like I just couldn't be bothered pulling a comb through my hair. And frankly, that's exactly what it is. I spend about 40 minutes getting ready each morning and it's fine with me. I don't think there is any glory in saying "I don't put any effort into how I look."

Alison

I admire women that can pull off the "au natural" look. For me, due to my lack of flawless skin, I tend to lean on the the sloppy, overdone makeup side due to my lack of confidence in wearing a bare face. I wish I could be more natural though.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

What interesting responses.

For starters, I don't think Julie Delpy looks stylish in those pictures. In fact, she looks pretty unkempt. Sorry, Mac :0(

I guess between Julie, Maya and Taylor - you have my point of view. Unfortunately I think that a stylish "au natural" look depends entirely on good genetics. Some women get away with wearing no make-up and having straggly hair, whereas others look better with more polish.

Tanya

Veteran

What a great discussion.

In theory I like the natural look, and on some people it looks really good. I personally need some makeup - I wish that weren't the case; but whenever ( which is very rare) I am not wearing any everyone keeps asking me if I am sick!

Frances

I think what I actually like is the "polished natural" look--the one that looks deceptively effortless--as opposed to the genuinely natural, really did just roll out of bed look. And of course there are those lucky women who truly are just naturally beautiful and do not need a stitch of makeup or maintenance. But as far as the bedhead and designer sweats look goes, I personally would prefer to spend an extra hour in the morning making an attempt to look pulled together, even if I don't look effortlessly chic.

Amanda

My mother always told me that you should wear makeup in such a way that people think you just look that good and not "oh, she's wearing makeup." Despite that good advice, I wore a lot of makeup in my 20s-30s. I wear much less now in my 40s - just a sheer foundation, blush and simple eye makeup.

I always ask for a haircut that is easy to style. I know that I could spend more time and make my hair look like it does when I walk out of the salon, but I make sure that I get a cut that doesn't require lots of technique and stuff for it to look flattering and polished.

It does take time in the morning to blowdry my hair, add a bit of goop and do my makeup but I think it's worth the 20 minutes I spend. And I am not a morning person!

Mac

Veteran

My computer is currently in the shop so this weekend I've only been able to get online when my partner (rarely) stops working and I'm able to sneak in 10 minutes on his laptop. I couldn't believe when I checked this thread how many of you responded, and the variety of thoughtful comments you shared. Wow; thanks.

I can see how the Julie Delpy photos I posted don't appeal to some of you. In fact, I have to agree that she doesn't look stylish, but to me that messy hair is tremendously pretty... If I saw her giving a presentation, I might think she looked unprofessional but if I saw hair like that at the beach, I'd think it looked appealing and lovely and, yes, pretty. Maybe that's a distinction for me: what's just pretty is sometimes not stylish, and vice versa.

I lived in Paris for years and don't at all think that French women are more attractive than Americans or Canadians. In fact, after living in NYC for ages, I found US women were generally far more appealing in many/ most ways. And it drives me nuts when some people fetishize women from any given country - there a beautiful, stylish, wonderful women in every single place in the world. But, the less "done" hair and makeup is one of the things I did think French women pulled off with great aplomb.

Great catch, BethW! I didn't want to seem like I was slamming any geographical region by name... I'm reminded how what looks right in some places just look weird in others.

I'll always have to struggle to find my own balance amongst what I think looks appropriate, natural, pretty and stylish and I suspect this will always be a shifting target. And I absolutely love learning about your own efforts in this area. Please do keep writing; I'll keep reading!

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I think there's a difference between a natural look, and no make up, though.
I don't like the way that I look completely sans make up, but I like my make up to to make people wonder if I'm wearing any.

Maya

Veteran

If Julie Dempy tamed all those little flyaways, would she look too "done" to you Mac? To me that would be all the difference between natural and sloppy. She is pretty, but that has to do with her genetics. She has nice features, but she looks very disheveled, and there is no getting around that. I know some people love the salty beach hair look and think it's sexy (ugh I hate that word), but I personally would rather see someone like Angie's Mum in a fabulous turban and big glamorous sunnies.

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