Mutton dressed as Lamb? How do you avoid it? - YouLookFab Forum

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Mutton dressed as Lamb? How do you avoid it?

foodfashionandflow

(website)

My friends and I talk about this alot. We are at an interesting time in history. People don't look like they did in my grandparents or even my parents era. You have 50 year olds that look 30, 40 year olds that look 20 and everything in between. Since everyone in this present time looks so youthful, how do you avoid that mutton dressed as lamb issue. Do you believe that when you reach a certain age you shouldn't wear certain things? Or, do you believe that you should wear what makes you feel good regardless of how old you are? I am trying to find the balance between being stylish and fashion forward and not trying to look like a teenager. What are your thoughts? and how do you handle it?

Dressing

21 replies

Latest reply was from Mo

MsMaven

Veteran

This is a tough time to be "of a certain age." Retailers aim so many of their clothes towards younger women. Sometimes I go into a department store and find that everything is either too young (too short, too girly, too low cut, etc.) or too old (a lot of career clothes, certain brands.) Many career clothes seem too old for me, and I'm retired!

The clothes in magazines such as Bazaar that break down fashions by age are ridiculous. As much as some would have you believe there are "rules" for what is appropriate for each age, the reality is that women today have far more varied and interesting lives than in the past.

I just got my copy of Parisian Chic by Ines de la Fressange (age 53) and she talks about the age thing. I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but it will definitely be a book we will want to discuss on YLF.

Aunty

Veteran

For me its the classic's put together with a few on trend pieces. But I am so not an expert!!!
I think my rule is avoid the sky high skirts and the tops that plunge!! pretty much anything else you can make work for you

rute

Veteran

I agree! I'm 42 and feel that I can dress young and have fun with the trends, it's how we put an outfit that counts! For me I always look for sophistication!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Spot on, Rute! Effective outfit execution is *everything*. It's always in the HOW and not just in the what.

I love to wear hot off the press trends that tickle my fancy. But they are underpinned with classic pieces.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I find that this issue is even harder for me in the hot, humid summer. Covering up just isn't comfortable in 95 degrees. And the fabrics get looser and less structured to boot. I'm a few weeks from 41 and wondering if this summer will be the year the short shorts finally retire . . . but don't hold your breath! For now, I'm thinking of relying heavily on my cotton sundresses and bermuda shorts with breezey tanks.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I think that quality pieces go a long way in helping your achieve age appropriate sophistication. There's nothing trickier to wear for a middle aged woman than items from the juniors department.

Jjsloane

Veteran

I totally agree with chewyspaghetti - I don't even look at the juniors department. I'm 44 - but I have young children so I often interact with much younger mothers and I don't want to be questioned if I'm the grandmother. I try to find a few trendy items to look current, but mix with what I feel comfortable in (works for my lifestyle, body and age) and is better quality. I get compliments from younger coworkers so I think I'm doing ok most days.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I happen to have a size/shape that fits Juniors best so I don't dismiss it wholly. I realize quality isn't always there but some items can be great if you look carefully. As a matter of fact, many of my cotton sundresses that get thumbs up here are from juniors. Leave no retail stone unturned I believe is what Angie says . . .

lynne

Veteran

This is an issue I worry about and one of the reasons I hang around YLF. I'm retired, 55, in good shape and with a combination of good genes and good sunscreen and skin care I look to be in my 40s. Like Angie said, I try to mix trendier pieces with more classic. Anthropologie is one of my favorite stores, but I'm careful not to wear the look head to toe. Finding jeans with a higher rise has helped, too.

MsMary

Veteran

I worry about this, too. I've lost a bunch of weight in the past year after being overweight for much of my life, and I really have to fight the temptation to wear anything and everything just because it fits, finally. LOL

I also worry, though, about going too far the other way and ending up too Chico's-tastic, you know?

All in all I think I'm doing okay at treading the line. There have only been a handful of times when I've thought (either in the moment or in hindsight) that I may have pushed the "dressing youthfully" envelope too far. As others have said, I think quality pieces and a good mix of trendy vs. not-too-trendy is the way to go.

rosee

Veteran

...all above = excellent!

I'm in my 40s, I tend to look younger though. I'll shop anywhere (leave no retail stone unturned = LNRSU?), but mixing trendy or vintage with classic-basic is key. I don't want to look 20, (30 is fine) and I don't want to look matronly.

I agree with the commenter above that fashion spreads that show examples of what to wear in your 20s /30s /40s etc. are too limiting, as there are more factors to consider including shape, size and personal style.

That said, I really dislike the look where middle-age moms copy their teenage daughters in just about everything. Switching out a few trendy items for more classic ones will improve the look greatly.

lisaflex

Veteran

i have a freind (we are 42) she busy juniors jeans (they dont look nice on her at all - the cuts are all wrong for her) while she is thin and does exercise, they just are way tooo young and make her look like one of "those women". kind of ridiculous in my mind. why not embrace your age and body at the same time. just my 2 cents....

Aziraphale

Veteran

I haven't had time to read all of the above replies, so perhaps someone has already said this, but....I think any woman who is concerned about avoiding MDAL will never look like MDAL. It's the ones who never think, does this look to young for me? who end up looking silly.

sinead

Agree with Elisabeth- if you're worried about it, you probably won't be MDAL. But there have been a number of times I've loved a trend, bought it, then gotten home and realized it was too young. Anything short, or that has too many frills and bows just looks silly on me. Once I started moving to clothes with more structure and focused on quality, I had fewer (embarrassing) returns.

And this is a little different than what you were asking, but I've finally realized that accessories are more important as we age. I think 20-somethings can throw on a skirt and blouse and look adorable, but "women of a certain age" really need the extras- the scarf, the necklace, the bracelet, the great shoes and handbags... I've been slow to understand this, but I've finally gotten it!

Vix

Veteran

Awww, so you all would nix this "message T" I found when shopping with a friend's teenage daughter last year (at 41)?

She loved it.

[never fear, it was left on the rack...]

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RandomThoughts (Andrea)

Veteran

Ha ha! Vix, I'd have worn that 5 years ago when I was working in a dog boarding kennel, at age 36. $5 tshirts were the way to go in that job.

I think about it often. The iconoclast/contrarian in my doesn't like the idea of rules of dress based on age. There are some things, however, that just don't look right on me any more loathe as I am to admit it.

I don't believe there are any hard and fast rules. It depends on who you are, the image you wish to convey and how you execute it as others have said. Do I miss sometimes? Probably. But I try not to.

Gaylene

Veteran

Such a sensitive topic for so many woman-- how to reconcile your inner youthful spirit with your aging exterior. Even if we are in better shape in our 60s than we were in our 40s, finding a style that fits both our inner and outer selves is a challenge. I think that is why the "mutton dressed as lamb" issue rears its ugly head.

So, as a 60+ woman who stands at the front of a classroom of young adults every day, I have rules for myself: Make sure that every item in my closet is a perfect fit and in excellent condition. Wear fabulous shoes and carry quality handbags. Stick with classics only if they flatter (cashmere cardigans make me look dowdy). Choose quality over quantity. Treat myself to good jewelry. Spend money on a great haircut and fabulous undergarments. And, finally, trust my instincts when I glance in the mirror. If I'm wondering if the look is too young, it probably is... If I'm wondering if the look is too matronly, it probably is...

Following my rules means I don't look like my students. They use their youth and creativity to look fabulous while I have the advantage of more disposable income. I admire their outfits while they lust after my shoes. It works for both of us.

lynne

Veteran

Well said, Gaylene, and MaryK "Chico-tastic" made me giggle. No offense to any Chicos shoppers out there.

judy

Veteran

This reminds me of a blog post I read yesterday. I enjoyed the writers views. Maybe you all will too.

http://passagedesperles.blogsp.....on-me.html

p.s. MsMaven...same blogger did a review of Ines's book today. Interested to hear your views, I haven't read it. http://passagedesperles.blogsp.....-ines.html

Patty

Veteran

Holey Moley--I stood in the middle of the woman's section--basically the whole floor of the Bay (Hudson's Bay Company) ( I always panic there)--one side of the store I was too old (or maybe not outgoing enuff) to shop in and the other was scary too old for me--I went in with my new YLF attitude but still left feeling lost in the middle. I think I need a character transplant.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Patty, make room: there are tons of us in your in-between space! It was worse for me about 2 years ago but I still feel there is no real section marketed to us around 40 ladies specifically. I find myself on ebay a lot because of it. I'm finding certain brands can bring a younger, hipper feel to them without being marketed to teens - Guess coats come to mind and Michael Kors shoes just off the top of my head. Regular department stores leave me feeling left out too