Hi Jenanded --
Recovering blacktexile-a-holic checking in (currently relapsing with fall purchases!).
Great variety of advice upthread; as you noted, lots of different directions to consider.
I went into my own process in great, possibly excessive detail on Astrid's recent color-related thread here:
[the posts I'm talking about are about halfway down]
http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....lors-again
Cliff Notes version --
I originally started buying random colors to "brighten" the black, but that didn't work. I hated color on me more, not less!
From there I started analyzing the colors that seemed to flatter me and began buying to create "color-color capsules" that centered on limited shades. Blue/green and rose/purples -- sounds like you and I have similar taste there!
I also explored dark neutrals other than black, which got me to charcoal and espresso. [I didn't get very far away, but they are the right shades for my skintone and often look better with my chosen color-colors.]
I still buy and wear tons of black. All-black, black with other dark neutrals, black with a bit of color etc.
But now I can do color-color plus neutrals and even ALL color-color if desired. Not sure I escape looking like fairy floss, though....
Let us know how it goes for you!
ps Not sure if you've seen some of the recent color threads -- in addition to Astrid, Suz and Clearlyclaire come to mind...a search may get you to others whose names unfortunately escape my addled brain.