Menopause and squeezing into my pants :D - YouLookFab Forum

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Menopause and squeezing into my pants :D

Helena

Veteran

TW - If body image and body issues are not healthy or good topics for you, please skip this post xoxo

Hi friends, I am hoping some of the fitness folks on here might have tips for me. I am in full menopause now and gaining weight and size all around my middle, which is all fine and normal and not unhealthy, but I am getting sick of buying new pants

Does anyone have any suggestions or advice for this? If you experienced it, did it level out at some point, or did you have any luck trimming your middle without doing anything drastic? Or should I just accept it and budget for bigger pants for the next five years? I am working on increasing my protein and fibre, getting back to higher daily steps, and doing Pilates about 4 or 5 times a week (shorter sessions). I am still struggling to lift weights but I am trying again. Drinking my water. I hate food tracking but will do so for the next week or two just to make sure I'm not going overboard without realizing it.

I am also working on managing stress better, since I know this can be a contributing factor.

My Mom also collected weight around her waist, but she also was not one for exercising (although as a part-time nurse she wasn't sedentary) or watching what she ate! For reference I'm up 10 pounds since covid, and probably 5 of that in the last few months, and also in the last few months it seems to have all migrated to my waistline :/

Thank you wise ones! xx

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47 replies

Latest reply was from unfrumped

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I can’t be very positive I am sorry. Weight gain is the biggest complaint of women around menopause in my experience, it feels like even more than the hot flushes/night sweats/brain fog that many complain of. And many have not changed their eating or exercise habits so don’t understand.
I hit menopause at age 46, gained weight then right until age 58 when with major dietary efforts (portion size reduction mainly) and some extra walking much of it slowly came off. I do actually wonder if it succeeded then because I was 12 years past the “change” and my metabolism had stabilised.
Now no-one would call me a fitness person so maybe others can help.
I do feel better at a lower weight than the highest I got to which had me not quite into the “obese” BMI at the time. But trying to accept my shape at the time was not psychologically easy, I kept my thoughts about “The Beauty Myth” in my head as much as possible!

Helena

Veteran

Jenni this is very helpful, thank you! I think a healthy dose of acceptance is going to be a big part of the solution. It's helpful too to know that it might stabilize at some point! I don't mind the weight so much but it would be nice if it didn't all decide to sit in one spot lol

Irina

Veteran

Helena, unfortunately, my experience with menopause is similar. As someone who has been naturally slim the whole life, it was shocking to me that my pants size went up every few years. I went into menopause 10 years ago and my pants size is now 2 sizes bigger than before, all because of the bigger waist. I continue to receive HRT, it helps with anxiety and night sweats but not with weight control. My weight actually is not that much higher, maybe about 5 pounds more. But it seems it stays mostly on my waist. I’m active with yoga, swimming, walking 10.000 steps a day, resistance training. But really, what helps me to keep it from creeping up even more is low carb meals. I’m post menopausal now but still don’t feel any difference. I prefer bottoms with elastic waist these days. Stay positive, this is a part of being a woman, as frustrating as it is sometimes.

Helena

Veteran

Thank you Irina! I appreciate you sharing your perspective. I am trying to focus on fibre and protein but I love my carbs haha! Elastic waist it might have to be lol

LJP

Veteran

Oh I wish I had uplifting stories and good ideas to share. But I don't. You are doing the very things professionals say you/we need to do . My experience is that women do not all experience menopause the same way. Some bodies remain slim and lithe, and many, many others do not.

In 10 years (since menopause) , I have gone from a size 2 or 4 in Gap jeans (for a point of reference) to an 8 or usually 10 now. That's around 25 lbs. I can lose 8-10 lbs with very very focused and disciplined eating, and following a plan with accountability, but the minute the weight is off and I feel good again, it all comes right back on. Of course there are mental health/ emotional factors hampering my success, but I also find that serious dieting is not sustainable . One has to be willing and able to make permanent changes to their diet - and that's where I have failed. My pants size is so variable that I don't find most tailored styles to be an option anymore. Elastic waists (Aritzia has great ones) or stretchier fabrics (ponte etc) seem to work best for me. Jeans are a struggle.

I am so looking forward to the snow and ice melting to so I can get back to walking outside again. Getting those steps in is key, and I don't get enough in the winter. Your Pilates is great (reformer?) but you need to do weight bearing exercise . I can confidently say this as I work in the fitness rehab industry and have a daughter with a Master's degree in physio AND who is a certified personal trainer and exercise physiologist as well. She must just shake her head at the irony of the state of her mother ,lol . I'm starting week 6 of a 4x per week strength training program and have seen ZERO visible results. Daughter tells me it's a minimum of 6-8 weeks before anything noticeable happens. Next step is to break decades old habits of emotional eating. Good luck Helena - it's a journey !

cjh

(website)

Veteran

Amateur advice here, but all I’ve got. I agree with advice to cut carbs, build muscle, work up a sweat, stay as active in daily activities as possible. I cut carbs by using only one piece of bread for sandwiches, take off half the bun, rarely have bread with dinner. It helps me to snack on raw veggies or a small piece of cheese while cooking. But I like pasta, rice, crackers, popcorn…

And correct me if I’m wrong, but more muscle burns more calories, so increasing muscle can only be good for a person. Also, muscle weighs more, so weight lifting doesn’t always cause quick weight loss, but makes a better metabolism, more energy and strength to perform every day activity.

Find a variety of stress relief strategies, and try to find outside, free things, not involving donuts preferably. Walk on a trail or by a lake and look for birds, take an apple and water, go to the library, rake the leaves, sweep the patio, clean out your car, etc.

Health and energy are worth striving for. Keep up the good work.

LJP

Veteran

Ugh , sorry for the me , me , me . That clearly hit a nerve ! I’m really stressed out by this very subject right now and stress is the worst thing for it !

Bijou

Veteran

Helena, focus on the great things your body can do - it is amazing and so are you.

My menopause journey has been complicated by thyroid problems, which has also impacted my metabolism and caused weight gain. I try to be gentle with myself and accept that I am now wearing a larger size in jeans to before. If the weight comes off eventually, that would be great but I have not changed what is otherwise a healthy diet. In my family there is too much risk of osteoporosis to go on a very restrictive diet. I am more concerned with looking after my bones and general health than staying in the low end of a healthy BMI.

I have modified my diet to restrict unnecessary foods such as chocolate, cakes, ice-cream, ultra processed food and alcohol being reserved as 'treat' foods. I do eat high calorie nuts, natural yogurt mixed with fresh fruit and cheese because they are beneficial for my health and I really like them. Artisan bread is just too nice not to eat and you only live once! I try to be active and not worry about things too much. Whilst I am not as slim as I was 5 years ago, I am just as happy. With all the wisdom and great role models on YLF, I still feel well dressed and fashion trends excite me.

Acceptance and enjoyment of the present is key. Just like you had to say goodbye to the adolescent version of yourself when you became an adult, menopause is a time to embrace that exciting and vibrant older version of you. I recently went to my 40-year school reunion and it was so much fun. Older women have nothing to prove, we just had the best time having a laugh together and catching up, this is our reunion photo, the Class of 1985!

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cjh

(website)

Veteran

After I submitted my reply, I had the same thought as Bijou, that our bodies changed over the years, from baby to child, to adolescent, young adult, mother perhaps, then menopause, which along with older adulthood is another phase of change. It may be harder because that middle phase was so long without much change, and it’s not as dramatic as, say, pregnancy, but rest assured, we as women will help each other along the way.

RobinF

Veteran

This is a tough one for sure. I have been done with menopause for a few years and find that weight is still a struggle so I don't know if it levels off or not. But it has been a life long struggle for me so could just be me. That being said, my waist has always been proportionately large and hips small so I have always been used to accomodating a large waist.

It sounds to me like you are doing all the right things with diet and exercise. Weight training is important as we age, from what I have read, so picking up on that is a good idea. And sadly, cutting carbs. I struggle with that. I don't keep much bread in the house but do love pasta and rice.

Acceptance is a struggle but probably the healthiest thing we can do. I work on that all the time

Anyway, not much help here but commiseration!

pirouette

Veteran

I gained weight around my waist during the menopause despite not changing my diet or exercise. Most of my friends gained weight too during the menopause. I didn’t use HRT during the menopause as I hadn’t any issues apart from weight gain but most of my friends did go on HRT. My weight returned to pre menopausal level after about 3 years without any changes in my diet or exercise but interestingly my friends who used HRT didn’t loose the weight. I often wonder did not using HRT enable me to loose the weight? I wonder was it just coincidence or has anyone else noticed this.

judy

Veteran

I agree with Bijou that acceptance and joy are the key here. It's another phase, and like most phases, the first part (think puberty) are the bumpiest. I understand the upset of the expansion, like "when will this end?" and the frustration that some of my favorite pants no longer fit. It took me a while to figure out I could just buy a bigger size. Our bodies change. Trying to stay the same is the problem!

That being said, we can still find joy in being and having a body, instead of being focused on what it looks like and trying to whip it into shape. Squeezing ourselves into our old clothes is like trying to be younger, it's not going to happen. Try enjoying movement, even if it's dancing in your kitchen, walks, stairs! Don't deny yourself good food, but also be conscious.

I also think that it's a good thing, and a natural thing, that there is a bit of weight gain at menopause. There will come a time when frailty is another phase and I've known women who are very thin, or even slim, have a difficult time with this. No padding for bumps and falls. We've all seen those very old women who it looks like the wind will blow over. So in these younger (meaning menopause) years, embrace the flesh! It will serve you later on.

Bijou, I love your phrase: "Older women have nothing to prove" ! How true, and how freeing.

Star

Veteran

As an adult I have always had a larger waist in relation to my smaller hips. I put this down to being on the contraceptive pill for most of my adult life, so also hormone related, and having non-mindful eating/drinking habits. I stopped the pill when I was 41 and after 5 years my body shape became more balanced. I was also following a vegan diet which leans to low fat. Another 5 years later, still not in menopause, I started Intermittent Fasting (IF) and eating smaller portions, and eliminating sweets and alcohol. I finally went down to a good weight for my height, dropping 2 clothing sizes. I was 51 years of age. I managed to keep this off for 5 years. I then returned to my old eating habits and drinking wine when out at night in the summer and the weight crept up again. I also went into full menopause at the same time. As you can tell I had a very late menopause. I am currently on a mission to get back into my smaller sized clothes and am halfway there, practising the same as mentioned before. You will notice I have not mentioned exercise. I walk quite a few miles a day, nothing more. I have never been a fan of strenuous exercise as I have a life-long history of extremely low blood pressure, and really feel faint and sick if I over exert myself. For me IF is the key factor. An 8 hour window for eating, from 12 noon to 8 pm works for me. Hope this essay I have written is of a little help :).

SarahD8

Veteran

Hi Helena. I have some history that may be relevant. I was naturally quite thin for much of my adult life, but gained about 40 lbs slowly over the course of my late 30s-40s.

A couple of years ago I made some changes and lost about 30 lbs over the course of 9 months. I have now mostly maintained that loss for about a year (I'm about 2-3 lbs up from my minimum weight).

Here is what worked for me:
-Slightly changed my diet (more whole grains, slightly less sweets, very little snacking).
-Moderately increased my exercise and added strength training (just a short routine with hand weights/bodyweight exercises, NOT gym rat stuff at all!) 3x a week. (I now swim 30 min 5x/week and do HIIT 1 day, I don't do the strength training anymore but the HIIT includes some hand weights.)
-DRASTICALLY reduced my consumption of alcohol. Unfortunately I'm convinced this is SO IMPORTANT for peri/menopausal women.

I tracked food consumption religiously while I was actively trying to lose but do not do so anymore. (I used Noom and while some aspects of the program really annoy me the structure/routine was helpful.)
I also started weighing myself daily and still do that.

I have always had a relatively thick/not defined waist and I haven't noticed a huge change in body shape with peri/menopause.

Happy to answer any questions either here or via dm.

Kate

Veteran

The weight shift/gain of menopause is real!

I didn’t gain weight during menopause, but my weight sure shifted and all of a sudden it seemed I had extra flesh around my waist; years later I still do. You learn to accommodate what you can’t shift.

You’re doing everything right, Helena. I love what Bijou said about acceptance and enjoyment of the moment. So right. A bigger waist line is not going to rob me of joy. Although foregoing a muffin sometimes does.

cjh’s comments about the stages of a woman’s life are spot on. I would take menopause over puberty any day! And maintaining a strong body with a little extra padding is a good thing in later years when reduced muscle mass and osteoporosis are risks.

Helena

Veteran

Thank you so much everyone; I appreciate your kindness, wisdom and sharing your experiences! If the best solution is do my best and buy pants with elastics, then that is okay with me - I hope I didn't sound like I was hating on middle-age bodies - I am so grateful for my health and strength! It's reassuring to know that I'm not doing something "wrong". I appreciate you all and this community so much! xx

Lisa, the pilates I do is just on an app called Lindywell and I love it. Not reformer of course, but lots of resistance bands and weights, which is great. I'm a lot stronger and way less joint pain, especially in my knees.

judy that's such a great point about the padding! As long as I'm strong and healthy, I'm okay with padding I love that framing.

Totally agree with those mentioning alcohol - I gave it up entirely a few years ago because it was giving me migraines and triggering anxiety attacks. I didn't drink much anyway so it was just easier to give it up. I do miss a prosecco though and don't begrudge anyone a drink if it works for them! But lots of good subs out there fortunately for those of us who it doesn't.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

If I may chip in again here, although old age is a long way away from you Helena- and I will call it 70+ just for now to illustrate with 2 examples- our fat cells do make some estrogen in the menopause. And my 2 examples are of 2 women who would have been in the overweight or even just into the obese range, both short like me. One lost her husband to prostate cancer at I am guessing about 80, the grief etc made her lose a great deal of weight and she went from looking like a little round ball to a more definable shape. As her Dr I was actually quite pleased that she had been heavier so she had that to lose and didn’t become too frail. She was still alive at 96 when she had to go into care and I was no longer her Dr. That was 5 years ago but I can’t find any obituary! Maybe she is still alive at 101?! I always remember her birthday as it was the same day/month as mine and we used to wish each other happy birthday if she attended near that time of the year, it was a really sweet connection and I actually miss her!
The other one is early 70s now, finally getting better after a rare cancer, now in low normal BMI, says she feels comfortable there but had been many many kilos/pounds more before the cancer. I know these are anecdotes of just two women but both of them actually benefitted I think from having been heavier, as I have also seen plenty of those very thin elderly women who look like the wind will blow them over as judy says. There is a frailty measurement relating to very low calf circumference.
I forgot to say that despite the 12 kg weight loss I started at age 58 ( now back up 3 kg from then) my pants size (mostly elasticised waists) has remained at size NZ 14 ( US/Canada 10) or occasionally NZ 12 (US/ Canada 8). Prior to menopause I was mostly still NZ 10 (US/ Canada 6). So I am sorry but maybe budget for bigger jeans!

Indigoprint

Veteran

I know that HRT is controversial, but it worked for me, not so much with weight distribution but the other parts of this time of life.
Interestingly enough after many years of success with low carbs, I am finding my place with intermittent fasting. I am surprised as I always got lightheaded if I skipped a meal. I like that with fasting I do not have to limit my carbs as much and I did miss them, so I feel less deprived of some favorite foods.

Sal

Veteran

It is not easy Helena! You are doing the right things and there is a degree of acceptance that is important (IMO) too.

If you are being sensible most of the time then you have to decide if you are going to be even more sensible/restrictive to lose weight.

I know people who choose each approach.

Big hugs

MidwestrnChic

I also struggled with this and could not for the life of me lose those extra 5-10 lbs even though I lift heavy weights 4-5 times a week and play a lot of pickleball. I realized I need accountability, and I hired a coach from PLT nutrition (I can't recommend this company enough!) We had weekly check ins and monthly zoom calls and with their gentle and sensible approach I took that weight off and am now in maintenance on my own and keeping it off. I find their approach to be sustainable for life. You can join their Facebook group and get a good sense of what they offer and see the success stories of their clients. My weight loss was slow and felt, dare I say, easy. I programmed in eating out once a week with great success. All of this to say that the accountability piece proved to be the most important for my weight loss. Good luck!

Olive Green

Veteran

I did compounded bioidentical hormone therapy, and it helped. The brain fog was dreadful. But even getting a black belt in karate did not take off the 20 pound weight gain, it just clung. (Although yelling with the tribe and waving sticks and feet around was great therapy).
At this point, 70, I agree with Jenni that a bit of flesh is just fine, I have nothing but very comfortable pants, lol.
A girlfriend with very similar body started with semiglutamide (compounded) and it has been great for her breathing as all her weight was in her front, hampering breathing, had sleep apnea, etc. I don’t really need to lose much weight at all, but started myself on the lowest dose, and have stayed on it for a few weeks, hoping for very gradual weight loss and much better numbers as I drift towards diabetes, which does run in the family. After which I will try the lowest possible dose to keep the benefits and not lose any more weight.
Everyone’s mileage will vary, it just made sense to me. As a caretaker, my health is just as important to maintain as my husband’s.

judy

Veteran

Helena, I am just going to throw out a theory that goes around about reducing belly fat and it is about breathing, for whatever it's worth. I read an old book last year from the 90's (that I can't recommend because it was very fat shaming, it made me remember how we used to do that!) but it was about having better metabolism through breathing. There is so much on youtube about breathing now, (James Nestor wrote a whole book on it) but one of the exercises I recall was breathing in through the nose to a count of 4, holding for 16 and breathing out through the mouth for 8. Do it ten times, three or four times a day. I like to do it laying down but I think any way is fine, even in the car...no need to close your eyes for this one. Breathe, not just as in front yoga belly breath, but like 360 degrees, as if you had a ball inflating in your lungs. The habit was short lived for me but when I did it last summer I did notice a difference in my pants being a bit more comfortable. It is very relaxing if nothing else and also made me more conscious to breathe throughout the day. I catch myself sometimes holding my breath, which makes for much tension!

JAileen

Veteran

Oh I’m so sorry. I have a similar experience. I was a string bean until I was 37, then I started gaining weight. I gained even more during the pandemic because I baked so much delicious bread. This past summer I started lap swimming when a new aquatic center opened near my house. I’ve noticed my clothes are looser. I’ve lost the pandemic weight, but am still about 25 pounds more than I was in my 20s. I doubt I’ll ever lose that. But swimming has another benefit for me: it’s very good for my mental health. As I swim I sometimes mull things over in my mind, and other times I think about nothing at all. When I’ve finished, I’m refreshed both mentally and physically.

Murph11

Veteran

Such an interesting thread!

SarahD8: define "DRASTICALLY reduced my consumption of alcohol"
Asking for a friend

LJP

Veteran

Speaking of alcohol consumption , I quit drinking last summer - early July I think . I have noticed not ONE SINGLE physical change . On the other hand , my same-age coworker stopped in September and has lost 10 lbs . Infuriating , lol.

slim cat

Veteran

I had similar changes during menopause and HRT was the best help ( did it for 5 years and would have been continuing if I could kept my health insurance at that time ). It took about 2 years to stabilize the weight and get into new "normal". Limiting sweet things, alcohol and soda helped a bit. I think you are doing all the right things and may just need to be patient and positive ( I know it's not the easy task ).

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

So much great advice on this thread and also the wonderful feeling of community and shared experience that I thought I'd throw in my two cents fwiw. I have been post-menopausal for about 8 years and have not taken any hormones. I did gain weight and the one thing that slightly helped me lose some of it was adding more carbs. Because it helped my sleep! I have found that if I don't have a substantial portion of carbs (sweet potato is one my faves) with dinner, I sleep terribly and that sets me up for a bad day on every front. I have been a regular exerciser for decades and keep that up but it really doesn't affect my weight one way or the other. Fiber/carbs and protein are my dietary pillars and it seems to keep me stable.

Helena

Veteran

Thank you so much everyone! I have read and appreciated every response and I also suspect this thread will help others so thanks for sharing your wisdom and experience! Xx

Jaime, I agree with you ... I can't function without plenty of carbs. I don't stay full at all, even though supposedly high protein does that, without whole grains or potatoes. My sleep isn't great so I will play with that!

Judy thank you for mentioning breathwork! I do note that my waist gain has also coincided with a period of higher stress. I've been working on incorporating more breathwork so hopefully it will help!

Lisa I didn't lose any alcohol weight either. I'm sure I just replaced it with chocolate though lol

Jenny great points about frailty and having some buffer in case of illness or high stress. Thank you!

Xoxox

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Oh my, do I know this struggle. For me, the weight is sitting on my midsection and not as much on the thighs and hips as it used to. It’s definitely an adjustment. I’m well past menopause at this point and turning 60 this year, so my body seems to be settling into a slightly different shape than it has earlier in my life. My extra 10-15 lbs is being super stubborn these days. The era of high-waisted pants has not been helping. They can pinch!

So I don’t have any helpful advice. Just commiserating.

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