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LBD

BrieN

Veteran

When shopping for a LBD, what's the goal exactly? Do I want something very simple? I am not much of an accessories person (maybe earrings and a ring at the most), so I am drawn to more elaborate dresses (like the Lars one Muffin modeled so well yesterday), but I am wondering if I might wish I had something less memorable as I would need to wear it to several events to feel like I didn't "overspend" on it, as my budget is pretty tight. That said, I don't usually mind wearing the same thing again and again...I don't own a LBD right now, and don't have a dressy dress currently.

Byron Lars Carissima Sheath

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Latest reply was from BrieN

Liz

Veteran

That's a lovely dress!

I'd start by knowing what events you need a dress for. How dressy are they? What time of year are they? How many do you go to a year? Do you like to fit into your environmental norm, or do you like to stand out?

I've figured out that as long as I have one funeral-appropriate outfit and one more festive dress for weddings per weather season (winter / summer), I'm covered. And even the weddings I would go to are relatively non-dressy (that dress in your finds would be too elaborate and too much for the types of events I'm likely to attend).

Also, for me, a LBD would more likely be a LND (little navy dress) or some other color more flattering on me than black.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I think you asked the question best: What is the goal? If you don't have a reason to buy a LBD, why buy one?

Next question, assuming you do need some sort of dressy dress, or think you might, or don't want to be stuck without one, in any case: Do you enjoy wearing black and does it flatter you? My own "LBD" is blue, not black.

And actually, I have two. The sexier cocktail version (it is more summery also) and the more sleeved and more conservative but I hope still attractive winter version.

Really, you need to know what purpose this purchase is serving. If you want a dress that will fit almost all occasions, from the funeral service to the meeting with your attorney to the cocktail hour in a pinch, then the simplest, most figure flattering silhouette you can find that can be dressed up or down is ideal. For me that would be a sleeveless sheath; for someone else it might be fit and flare.

If you want an "evening occasion or date" dress, then it is going to have to have more "oomph" however you define that, be it in figure flattering fit, lace, detailing, colour, etc.

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Suz

(website)

Veteran

Liz said pretty much what I was trying to say, but better!

BrieN

Veteran

Suz and Liz: to answer your "why" question -- I don't have a dressy dress and I thought the LBD was sort of a Need To Own type of item but I guess I hear that maybe that's maybe not so true. I don't have anything upcoming, maybe something in the fall, but I have such a hard time finding dresses I thought I should shop before I was feeling pressured to buy something.

So I guess this type of embellished dress would fit under "special occasion dress" and not LBD Fallback dress.

JAileen

Veteran

I think it's good to have a multipurpose dress on hand. Things come up regularly - weddings, funerals, dinners, etc. Shopping at the last minute is no fun. I agree that black isn't necessary. I avoid it when possible.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Yes, that beautiful lace dress is more of a special occasion type dress. The fallback dress is another creature. I think it can be important to have both. But "can" is the operative word. Those "need to have" lists don't really take your life into account. First figure out what you need (never mind what the lists say -- how do you actually spend your time?) and make sure you have your predominant wardrobe needs met. An occasion dress or a "fallback" dress might or might not be a priority, depending on budget, activities, and other wardrobe holes.

Having said all that -- you also raise a really valid point. It is a great idea to shop and try on, even if you don't intend to buy! Find out which makers suit your body if you have a hard time fitting dresses and think you'll have a need for one. Read the guidelines for your body type and try on dresses that fit the criteria and compare them to dresses that do not, taking photos. You will learn so much and have fun! Maybe you'll find the dream dress or maybe you won't, but for sure you'll come away with good information for when you decide to shop more seriously.

I have to admit that I had an awful year or two after I joined YLF when I still did not have any good dresses and as a result I felt frustrated with holiday dressing. But my budget really didn't allow for that purchase; I needed daily wear first. And in a way it worked out well because by the time I had the money to buy my dresses I had a really clear idea of what would work and what would not.

Gigi

Veteran

I acutally ordered that dress several months ago. It was beautiful but did not work on my body type.

If I were in your position, I would start by asking myself where exactly I might wear this dress. To a nice restaurant? To the symphony? To cocktails? Then I would look at the dress I'm thinking about buying (the more elaborate type of dress) and ask myself whether I would feel comfortable wearing it at all these functions, or if it is too elaborate. If you think that it would work, I would go ahead and buy it, because I'm guessing that you will *feel* more fab in an elaborate dress if it fits the event. If you find that you would feel out of place for many of the events where you'd like to wear it, then I would look for something simpler.

Another thing you could do is buy the elaborate dress for dressier events but buy a very cheap, simple one for those events that are not so dressy.

What I'm trying to get at here is that your emotional feeling about yourself when you are dressed in the more elaborate dress matters; part of the money that is spent on the elaborate dress is spent simply because you will feel like a million dollars in it, even if you wear it only a few times.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I really like what Gigi said about the happiness factor. Super important as well. Those fancy dresses rarely have a low cost per wear, but that doesn't mean there is no place for them in a wardrobe. It's just important to be mindful up front so you don't end up feeling guilty later.

Sal

Veteran

I think we are all different with these types of dresses. I am a dress lover and I always like to have 2-3 evening cocktail dresses available in my closet. At the moment I have a LBD (definitely evening as it has a cut out back), a bold navy, black and cream print dress, a cobalt sheath and a couple of older options that I very occasionally wear. I have accumulated these over the years and I tend to buy relatively classic so they do not date quickly.

This winter I also bought a black sleeved dress that is versatile for work, dinners out, and could be worn to a funeral. I would not wear it to a wedding personally.

I do have a work charcoal summer dress that I would wear to a summer funeral or I would wear separates.

It has been discussed that sometimes the best dresses turn up when we don't actually need them or have a specific occasion - I have had that experience.

I love that dress - personally I would wear that to cocktail parties, weddings, birthday dinners etc - I would just add sparkle for night and wear matt accessories for day. It is not quite a work networking dress or a funeral dress but I see this as quite different anyway.

I say try it on!!

jill58

Veteran

I love that dress but it wouldn't work for any of the occasions that I typically need a LBD for. I'm very much with Suz on this. I find a simple sleeveless sheath the most useful for my life but for special occasions the Anthropologie dress is lovely. Just keep in mind your actual life--if you think that dress is something that you can imagine wearing to events that you foresee coming up in your life I would give it a try. It really is a gorgeous dress.

BrieN

Veteran

I guess my sartorial anxiety is showing. The event I'm thinking about in the fall is looming large in my mind. I don't know how dressy it will be, and probably won't for a while. I was thinking that a LBD might solve the issue of feeling blindsided by what the unspoken dress code might be.

eta: would you say this is a "sexy" dress?

Liz

Veteran

To me, that dress reads on the conservatively sexy side. That's part of what would make it over the top for the kind of events I go to (that, and all the details and lace).

This event you're going to ... can you find pictures from a previous year's event, if it's an annual thing? Or if it's a personal thing (like a wedding), can you find pictures of how people in that social setting usually dress for those kind of events? (Lots of events show up on facebook posts, society pages, organizational websites, etc.)

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I don't have a LBD. I have a little blue dress and black separates. See below.

I love the dress you linked to here. Versatile, current yet timeless, sleeved and pretty.

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RobinF

Veteran

I think the placement of the lace in this dress makes it look "sexy" to me.I would only get something this dressy if I had a specific occasion to wear it. But I am not a person who regularly dresses up so it would have very limited use. If you do dress up more it would have more general use for you.

Muffin

Veteran

BrieN - thank you for the nice compliment. I am like a magpie for dressy dresses. I find them so much more fun to shop for than every day clothes (that's kind of an issue in my small wardrobe!). Lots of good advice here. For me this dress is not a standard LBD, it is definitely more on the dressy side and certainly unique. Also against my pretty classic personality but I felt so great in this dress so I am going to return the 6 and try an 8P to see what it does for the length. We live in a city and go to events where you see a wide variety of styles. I am not too terribly worried about this being memorable. I oddly kind of like the feeling of being among the different in the room (again not really my personality) but having confidence in my choices helps. I remember the first holiday party at my husband's job and I had no one to ask about what to wear. I went with a bright pink silk Kate spade fit and flare. It was definitely a risk (& way dressier than most) but I felt awesome! So each year I try for something unique (& would likely wear this Anthro dress this year). And honestly thinking back to events I have gone to, there are only a few actual dresses I remember on others.

One thing I do to help me decide on the dress code of an event is to do a google image search if the event is an annual one. I encourage you to try on a bunch of styles and just see what makes you feel great. And post pictures- this group is so helpful with yams/nays! Another approach is Rent the Runway. I have not tried it but am so intrigued.

rachylou

Veteran

That dress is gorgeous.

So...my understanding is the LBD is plain and you can dress it up or down. White pearls for dinner, a big brooch for cocktails, a jacket for funerals...

Chris987

Veteran

I know those "lists" say everyone should have a LBD, but not everyone has a lifestyle that really needs it (whether blue or black etc).

I myself have never been invited to a cocktail party, ever. I've been invited to friends' houses for drinks but never anything where LBD would fit I've been to a few fundraisers (but only once every few years) and LBD would have been too "formal" for those too. Same comment for birthday parties. I would love to have a more upscale social life but I just don't I do go to the occasional wedding but always have plenty of lead time to shop if necessary. I own one black cocktail dress with tiny sequins that I absolutely love and looks great on me, worn to a semi-formal wedding, but I don't really think I'll ever wear it again so it does not fit the "LBD" category as traditionally defined.

My point is that knowing what you need for your lifestyle is really important, as several others have said. Lots of us do not need or want a LBD in our closets. And, others may like the idea of having one even if it's not likely to be worn.

I say make your own rules when it comes to the LBD

catgirl

Veteran

Gorgeous dress. The model looks like an IT shape which also inspires me. I would wear this dress in a heartbeat, assuming it fit well.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

I was a little panicky this week when I unexpectedly needed something to wear to a memorial service. I hadn't replaced the black pencil skirt I usually wear. But I wore black pants, black top, and a dark maroon topper and it was fine. You don't always need one item to work in every situation. However, it can make packing easier if you have a basic outfit that can serve multiple needs.

Can you mention what the event will be, where, time of day, etc.? That might help our ability to help you.

Since Nordstrom has such an amazing return policy, you might want to consider purchasing something there, now or at NAS, knowing that it can be returned if it doesn't work for the event.

I often look through my wardrobe and figure out what my backup outfit would be if I didn't find my perfect outfit. This often calms me down.

My sister-in-law is lucky enough to have several friends her size; she often borrows outfits. I don't know if that is a backup option for you.

On to the dress pictured. I think it isn't a LBD. I personally think anything that has dark lace with skin color showing through is quite sexy, and too much for many situations.

Hope some of this helps. And I'd also advise you to enjoy looking forward to the event (if appropriate and possible) and not spend the next few months worrying about what you will wear.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I love the dress and think it is, as someone else already said, on the "conservatively sexy" side. I would wear this dress to:

A cocktail "event" (e.g. fundraiser, opening, party in a public place)

(Perhaps) to a wedding (although the black and slight sexiness of it might not be ideal for this.)

A special date night restaurant/ theatre event in big city or theatre town with Mr. Suz

A banquet of some kind.

An upscale holiday party.

I do have events like this in my life. Most of them happen during the warm weather season and I wear my blue stretch linen sheath (first picture) which IRL is also in the same "conservatively sexy" category, though perhaps a little less so since it's not lace. (But it is quite body con, with ruching up the rear end!)

I also have a beautiful pleated full skirt that I have worn with an open-back top, a silk print trapeze hi-low hem dress, and a stretch sheath that works great for travel. These all fit into the "special occasion" capsule.

In winters, I tend to need a bit more coverage and most of my events are less formal so I get by with separates of various kinds or my sleeved blue sheath (which fits so well and is such a flattering blue that it makes me feel fantastic).

I, don't know the nature of this event you're thinking about, but I, personally, would not be likely to wear the Anthro dress to a business related event. It feels a bit too suggestive (to me) for that. But it would depend a bit on your line of work and on your personal need for modesty.

How comfortable are you being more dressed up than those in your environment? Sexier looking than those in your environment? Those are questions you might have to ask before choosing this dress over another for certain events. But if it is the kind of event where others will also be wearing "sexy cocktail dresses" then you are more than good to go -- it is alluring without being tarty.

shiny

Veteran

I look for less memorable - so I can dress up or down. I find LBDs (whether black or blue) quite versatile for my lifestyle. I have a variety with and without sleeves, black and ink blue.

Here's a few quick boards with some examples of how I've worn my LBD (in this case, the ink blue one) for work, casual, and dressy occasions. I wore the middle outfit in pic 1 recently to a funeral. It's also a good standby for customer-facing work events. For internal meetings I can frequently get away with any of the outfits in pic 2, not just pic 1, but I'd also wear pic 2 outfits out and about for non-work occasions.

For pic 3 - these are "dressier" outfits for cocktail parties and the like where DH is wearing a suit. If he was wearing his tux, then I'd go with a fancier dress such as the one you're looking at.

Note you can also layer a blouse or turtleneck under a sheath dress like this, and add a belt or scarf. I frequently add scarves, but rarely add belts since I am just not a belt person. The styling options are endless.

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Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Over the years, I've bought a lot of items on those lists of "what every woman needs" in her closet. And I've discovered I'm not every woman. I could easily do without a little black dress, by opting instead to wear a faux two-piece dress of little black skirt and top, plus cardigan or jacket, if I needed it. That said, I do have a few LBDs. Only one of them seems to me close to the ideal LBD--one that serves as a blank slate for whatever footwear and accessories are needed to make it work for many different occasions. Here's a post where I played around with dressing it different ways.
I think the lace dress is distinctive, and what makes it an LBD is simply that it literally is a little black dress. But it doesn't have the blank-slate characteristic that I would be looking for if I were after an LBD that could go just about anywhere. It's kind of like one of my black dresses, in the FInd below--i.e., limited by its design details.

Halogen Studded Sheath Dress (Regular & Petite)

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BrieN

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Suz: Thank you for clarifying "special occasion" versus "fallback lbd" that helps me think about what I'm trying to accomplish - at least I know what questions to ask myself!! I have to start thinking of trying on a lot of dresses= learning opportunity instead of =fails.

Gigi: I think you've described a very good solution -- buying both! a more elaborate dress as well as a more simple LBD. For too many reasons to mention, I would like to feel really good in whatever I wear to this event.

Angie: You are amazing in your dress -- and those shoes! wow.
I am pleased that you like this dress and especially that you think it is versatile and pretty! (and sleeves!! hooray). We shall see how it fits. I went to Anthro and tried on the size they had in store in the white version of this dress. I ordered the next size up in the black and will post a photo if I think it has potential.

BarbaraDiane: I wish I had friends I could borrow from! I've never had that easy clothing camaraderie.

Muffin and LIz: what wonderful advice! I was able to get the name of the event and found some past photos on the internet just now. It looks like a really fun party. It's an Evening Gala - fundraiser and bidding. Lots of black dresses, sequins and sparkles, and statement necklaces but I only saw a couple of gowns, Men in either suits or tuxedos. I am guessing at least one in our party will be in a tuxedo.

We are flying out to attend this (as are several other family members) so I will likely be leaning heavily on you all for ideas of what to wear for the weekend.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Oh, then this dress would definitely be suitable for the event and it sounds like so much fun! You'll also need a travel capsule. We can help with that as well.

I hope the black one fits/ looks great and look forward to seeing it on.

BrieN

Veteran

Thank you to Firecracker and shiny and everyone else who have described their more simple LBD and how they make it work for each occasion. If the fancy anthro dress doesn't work out, I will likely head that direction...unless I hear a sequin calling my name from across the room

Muffin

Veteran

BrieN- sounds like this could be the winner for the event you described! So glad you were able to try it on (I bet the white was pretty). Please do post pictures when you receive it. I was able to order the petite but it won't be shipped until August...

Echo

Veteran

The LBD is commonly kept in the closet so that a person has something appropriate for a funeral, a wedding, a cocktail party, a holiday party, etc. The dress you posted is gorgeous, and would fit the bill for several of those things, but it could never be made funeral appropriate unless you wore something fully covering the top. Even so, if you have any excuse to wear it, I am all for it. It's beautiful!

Style Fan

Veteran

I don't have a LBD but I would like to have a LBD (Brown) or LCD (Cognac). I just have not found one. I keep hoping. I do have separates and a fancy green dress. I find I don't go to as many weddings as I use to but I do go to more funerals. Now I am scrambling.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Thanks, BrieN. I'm excited about your dress.

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