Is it possible to look good without looking in style? - YouLookFab Forum

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Is it possible to look good without looking in style?

Peri

Veteran

This is an odd question...I'm not even sure I can articulate what I mean.

A few evenings ago I went to the mall. I was wearing black khaki type pants...loose fitting...and a bright blue top I bought last year from JCrew that survived the purge because I still like it. It's hard to consider black pants out of style, but the total opposite of skinny, so I guess they are. Not that they are cool slouchy either...just plain black pants.

Anyway, I went in feeling like I looked...not trendy, but decent. Fine to be seen in public. Then I passed several other women wearing skinny jeans, boots...much more cool and up to date...and I started feeling bad about my outfit.

Do we have to be "very 2013" to look good? I feel sort of middle school about this! If you aren't in, are you out?

General

24 replies

Latest reply was from Suz

Liz A.

Veteran

I'm wondering whether you mean "trendy" rather than "in style"?

You can definitely look good without being trendy. For instance, when you wear something classic, it is very easy to look stunning without necessarily wearing what's en vogue. I guess you could say classic items never go out of style.

There is also the aspect of looking great because you are rocking the look and feeling great even when you wear something that may actually be out of style. I hope that helps.

Tanya

Veteran

Well, for all that it is worth, skinny jeans & boots are not exactly "very 2013", they have been around much longer

I believe that one looking good definitely means looking in style. And one can totally be stylish without being trendy at all. I personally divide clothes into five categories:
1. very of the moment and trendy, or very 2013 as you would say (e.g. refined pointy toed footwear)
2. trendy, but have been around for at least a season or two ( e.g. flat oxfords)
3. classic ( e.g. ballet flats)
4. current - not so trendy anymore but not dated either ( e.g almond toed pumps, round toed wedges)
5. dated ( e.g. clunky squared toed footwear).

So, I tend to believe that category 5. is the only one to be avoided. Anything else is fun to play with according to one's style persona and preferences.

Day Vies

Veteran

Of course that's why there are classics. There are some women who I think have great style though it's decidedly retro but not dated. It's hard to look stylish and dated at the same time.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I'm not sure one has to be 'on trend' to look good, but I will admit the description of plain, loose, black chinos gives me pause. I associate these with uniforms, like on grocery clerks, and Target employees, etc. Heck, I have a pair (not loose, and low rise but still chinos) that I do wear as a uniform in my food & bev jobs. I do not consider them my best look, especially when said black pants are even in the least bit faded.

Peri

Veteran

Big sigh! Sometimes I feel like I'll never get this. I think it was my several years break from fashion...I really have a hard time identifying dated. If you show me a big shouldered 1980s jacket, sure I'll know that, but for about the past five years I couldn't tell you what was trendy, so now I can't tell you what is dated!

Some old magazine I used to read had an in/out column. I think I need that...a crib sheet!

I'll keep trying. The purge was step one. Huge goal now...pants for the heat of summer, but full length because of my shoe issues. I'll try to do better than the chinos!

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Oh, you'll get there! One step at a time. Maybe some black trousers (like the Express Editors or Columinists) or maybe even the silky track pants some here are bravely embracing! (I'll admit those are beyond me in my trend embracing comfort zone lol)
Hey, linen blends are pretty great for summer heat, too.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Hmm. The continuum of trendy to current to classic to dated is such a fluid thing. And I think the point that not everyone knows it is a good one too. Sometimes I wonder if all of us who are at least somewhat aware of trends are just conversing with each other through our clothes while everyone else is oblivious. And thn there's the phenomenon of things coming back into style, like say dolman sleeves, which until a couple of years ago were as out as our could be, but now are very trendy. Same with certain colors or prints.

To answer your question, yes, I do think its possible. If you (the general you) wear clothes that fit well, are well taken care of, suit your proportions and are in colors that flatter you, regardless of whether any of those aspects are trendy, you are doing better than half the people I see every day. In fact, there are a lot of people I see who I think would be better off being less trendy and paying more attention to fundamentals. So many of us are magpies (and the clothing industry encourages it) but it doesn't really serve most of us, IMO.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

If you bought a blue top from J Crew last year, no way is it dated! J Crew is very in style, although reflecting a more classic direction. I would have to see the black pants. If you are talking about basic, corporate type black pants, no you would not look out of style. You would look classic. I think classic always looks polished and chic and in fact in style as well. Especially if you have maybe one of-the-moment thing added to it like shoes or a bag or bracelet etc.

Then there is the luxe look which never goes out of style. Tailored black pants, gorgeous silk cobalt blouse, Chanel or Coach purse... etc. The only thing that could date an outfit like this might be a pair of shoes that were extremely trendy say, 12 years ago.

Deborah

Veteran

I agree that you don't have to be trendy to look stylish. Personally I am attracted to the style of women who somehow manage to look stylish and modern WITHOUT following the latest trends, or who maybe incorporate just one with something more classic.

I do understand how you felt while out shopping. This has happened to me too, but if I am honest I realised that I wasn't really that happy with what I was wearing when I left the house, or I was having a day where I was feeling a bit fashion fatigued and didn't make my usual effort in ensuring proportions etc were good.

I wonder if deep down you are just no longer feeling the black khaki pants?

dlb1960

You know I think if a women is stylish she is stylish even is she is wearing a hessian bag! A stylish women has a certain air about her, maybe a confidence that comes from within or maybe a cavalier attitude or a carefree nonchalance perhaps. To be honest I don't think it has TOO much to do with what she's wearing!

Lyn D.

Veteran

I agree with dib that some people are inherently stylish, but also that ANYONE can be stylish if they make the effort.
When I am feeling a little 'dowdy' in comparison with others I always try to remember the saying- "There will always be someone younger, richer, more stylish out there" and just try to make the most of my age, budget and practicalities at the time.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I agree with what Laura (rhubarb girl) said. It is absolutely possible to look good without looking particularly stylish (or rather "on trend") if you wear relatively classic clothing that fits in flattering colours. I also agree with CocoLion that a luxe classic look really never goes out of style, although the accessories chosen might differ a bit and over time the cut of the clothes will change as well.

I also feel your confusion! Before joining YLF I had not been paying attention to fashion for ....gulp....about 2 decades! I literally had no idea about trends. None! I lived in a town where the shopping was thin, and anyway, I shopped at Winners (our TJ Maxx) all the time, where the selection was small. I had no fashionable friends. You can imagine how out of it I was!

But reading Angie's blog, getting out into the stores more often, doing some online shopping (and a lot of online browsing) and paying attention to the forum has been extremely helpful. Now, I'm wearing things that aren't really available in the nearby stores (at times). And while I'm not the trendiest dresser I do usually incorporate at least one current looking item into the mix. I like the effect!

annaj

Veteran

I like to use the "one thing" rule. If you add "one thing" to your outfit that is "current" you are able to keep your outfit up to date. It can be in the style of shoes, the cut of your trousers, or a cheap accessory. Often that "one thing" is enough.

Greek Goddess

I concentrate on looking good, I don't worry about looking trendy unless it's a style that really suits me. I have a fairly eclectic wardrobe that I mix and match according to the event and the time of year. I do have a look at the trends before each season but don't go out of my way to buy them unless its something I absolutely love.

Peri

Veteran

Thanks for the wisdom, ladies! I do think I meant trendy for in style and the collective wisdom that you can look nice without having the latest everything makes me feel a lot better.

I've named my style goal as Casual Arty Classic...trendy is not in there. I'll keep trying, keep refining the purge. I'll never make the trendy pants because of shoes but I will try to do better than the black chinos. Classic for pants, arty for tops and accessories.

velvetychocolate

Veteran

I agree with what annaj is saying. My Mom wears very classic clothing pieces, but she always seems to have that "one thing" happening. A brightly coloured rubber watch, the latest in trendy specs (eyeglasses), a fab scarf or even a pair of orange Converse shoes (and I mean one of these, not all at once). The rest of the outfit? Crisp button-down shirt, classic dark wash straight jeans, classic trench etc.

She doesn't really look so "2013", but with her one little thing (as per annaj), she always looks great!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

We can look at someone like Ines de la Fressange, whose style is so admired, to see that it doesn't take adherence to trends to make a person look great. Lots of women pretty much seem to ignore trends but have great classic style. However, I think most of them are paying attention to the sublte changes in the classics as the years move along -- a heel shape, the taper in a pant leg, width of a lapel, etc.

I think true style comes from adopting the trends that work for each individual, in a thoughtful way that keeps a look current. I enjoy mixing classic pieces with trendier items because I get easily bored of the same old same old, but that's me. I also spent a few years in a boring uniform of bootcut jeans and fitted tees, so I'm having a lot more fun now.

When I am out and about and see someone wearing something that gives me a little bit of that "I want to look like that" feeling, it's usually because either I am dressed in something that doesn't make me feel particularly fab, or because I see something in that person's outfit that I'd like to try myself. Lately, it's usually the latter, since I'm working to make sure my outfits truly make me feel fab.

Anonymous

I just bought a pair of the chinos that you are talking about. Actually I bought 2 pairs - 1 gray and 1 stone. They are pants that I actually want to put on which hasn't happened for a few years!

I actually love them with my square toed Mary Janes.

I know I would feel dowdy if I saw a person who was wearing jeans that fit well and they were walking around in high heels. That is what I want to wear, but I can't wear either of those things.

I can control what my hair and makeup look like as well as what shirt and shoes I am wearing though so I need to concentrate on those items. I know that isn't much help, but just wanted you to know that you are not alone!

YLF has made me a lot more confident in my choices so I am hoping that my confidence will continue to grow the longer I am here.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Janet raises a very good point. When you compare yourself to others it can be a negative thing ("Oh, they look so much more current..." -- or whatever) or it can be a positive thing: ('Wow, she looks amazing! How did she do that? What do I like about her look?")

One of the great gifts of this forum is that it allows us to look at others in this second way. We can come back to an outfit again and again to study it. We can get to know the posters over time to figure out if the look that we're idealizing would really work for our lives. We can find others with our body type or our special clothing needs and they can direct us to the best versions of whatever item we're looking for. In your case, footwear would really be key, because that is a super difficult area for you. And then figuring out how to make the outfit cohesive and fresh even if you have to compromise on shoes a bit, given your particular needs.

Peri

Veteran

I definitely like the "one thing" idea...I think I can manage one thing! It sounds doable!

Mtgirl, that really does help...put that way, I can control my hair (well its curly, control is not the best word ), makeup, tops, accessories so I can focus on those. i can't control my shoes very much and they influence pants so I will do the best I can on pants. What did you buy? I'd love some grey pants for summer.

Suz...yours is the style I'd like to copy, and it's inspiring to hear that you started from scratch. I won't get there, because shoes rule everything, but I will try to improve.

Anonymous

I have curly hair too so yeah, we don't really control that too much! My rules: Good gel in sopping wet hair and then don't touch! Actually I have been diffusing and I have really liked it lately.

Your hair could be the arty piece if you get the right cut/style. That is what I am working towards.

I bought these:

http://www.zappos.com/jag-jean.....grey-stone

They are at the tailor now. They are too wide in the leg and just a bit too long. Not sure when I will get them back as it is prom time for my tailor.

If I didn't have the shoe issue I would probably wear them like the Gap broken in khakis. http://www.gap.com/browse/prod.....pid=351527

Check out how the guy is wearing his baggy trousers in this Ecco ad:
http://www.zappos.com/ecco?zfcTest=ipp2%3A1

If they were unrolled that is how mine look. I try to wear a current top where the front is semi tucked just a bit. These have a pretty high rise in front and back.

I must admit though that I was never fond of the skinny jean look and I love square toed boots so I am probably not the right person to give advice!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I'm keeping it short and simple.

OF COURSE you be stylish without being trendy! But there has to be a current element to your look. And that could be your hair.

Anonymous

I sent you a PM Peri

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I am honoured and flattered that you would like to emulate my style! Not to mention, amazed. You should see some of my early WIWs. If you go into the archives, you can. I shudder. But I've been learning and growing and getting closer after two years to a real personal style. Still not 100% there, but feeling better about it and having lots of fun along the way. You will, too.