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Incorporating colour

zakuro

I was almost at the verge of tears yesterday, struggling to plan what to put in my suitcase; I'm going away for a week. I felt awful in everything even though I had my entire closet in and out. I like all these items by themselves and how they fit, but I simply realized that I almost exclusively only have black or dark clothes(dark red, dark blue, dark green etc.). I only have black pants, and hardly any items with patterns, and the items I do have with pattern, are dark ones...

I am lost in how to incorporate colour in my wardrobe! I think its partially because my selfesteem is so low because of my weight, even though I'm not that heavy(BMI just within normal). I've tried looking for advice online, youtubers etc., but they all are slender and I don't feel like I can wear clothes the same way. I'm early 30s, appleshaped and got a big chest, so everything is always too tight there(I've googled breast reduction on a few occasions in pure frustration).

Somebody please help!

Dressing

33 replies

Latest reply was from Stagiaire Fash

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Are you planning a trip for the holidays? I hope you have a great time!

All those rich dark colors sound like a lovely palette, and could easily be livened up with a dash of something bright. Scarves are a favorite around here--I bet you could find one with a pattern that incorporates your dark colors with something brighter. Or you could work the brights in differently, like a bright, patterned lining for a blazer; when you roll up the sleeves, it will brighten up the outfit. Or a collar or T-neck that peeks out from under a sweater. Bright colored shoes are a favorite of mine.

Why don't you post some pics so people can give more specific advice?

The Cat

Veteran

Hello, zakuro, and welcome to the forum!

Wearing patterned or bright scarves or some multi-coloured jewellery (in particular necklaces/earrings/brooches) is an easy way to incorporate colour to your outfits.

You could also buy a topper (i.e. a longer, sleek cardigan) in a light/bright colour (say, red, lilac, cobalt, or Kelly green, depending on your colouring and your taste) that you could wear with most of your dark outfits.

Please consider to put some information into your profile. This will help others to give you more specific advice. By the way, you might enjoy viewing other members' profiles. (Just click at the profile photos.)

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Woah,please don’t cry !Clothes are not worth your tears ,l hear you on the Weight gain but if your BMI is still with in normal range it’s won’t be obvious to others,it’s more about how you feel about yourself isn’t it?
l think that you need to do stuff that will make you feel better about yourself quickly so all The cats suggestions are good.How about treating yourself to a manicure before you go,you can get some funky nail polish that gives alittle character without being business inappropriate,if there’s time a haircut/colour.l know a lady who works in a high powered London job but has a coloured streak in her hair which she can tuck away or display.Makeup can also add colour and interest.
can you get away with a slightly funkier shoe?and now you know what the problem is you can make some longer term plans to incorporate more colour as time and your budget allows.

Anonymous

Ah - I can feel your frustration just reading this. And I totally get it. I often dream of a breast reduction - but never go that far with it. Anyone I know who has had one looks exactly the same afterward , which makes me think they aren't the be-all and end-all. That said, I firmly believe in what Angie espouses when you are at your wit's end : a couple of really good, new bras. From a professional bra-fitter. A haircut, and maybe a colour too. Some new makeup. A pair of statement earrings. And perhaps one good blazer in a colour or pattern that will amp up what you own right now.

It's tough when you're feeling lousy about yourself = I know that situation all too well. This is a pretty diverse group of people in terms of sizes, style preferences, ages etc - so hopefully you'll find some solid help here.

slim cat

Veteran

Agree with everyone - personal preference -adding fun accessories. Everyone has a favorite thing like bracelet, earrings, scarf or bright nail polish, red lipstick.. It's ok to feel sometimes blue but don't let yourself go down the rabbit hole of the dark thoughts and despair.
Do things that make you feel better - treat yourself to fav cup of coffee, put your music on, watch some comedy, talk to a friend.

kkards

Veteran

1st Welcome!
2nd Black, dark red, dark blue, dark green are colors! LOL
3rd i know this won't help for your trip, but nodding along with lisap re getting the foundations, hair, makeup and (maybe) glasses right
4th i'm a believe in interesting shoes, IMO they make the most basic outfit better.
if your comfortable, post an outfit or 2, we're here to help

Helena

Veteran

What kkards said - it sounds like a fabulous palette to me, and a great base to add some new colours or prints. I hope we'll be able to help you with some outfits!

zakuro

Wow, didn’t expect this many answers!:)

But yes, I am planning a trip to a big city for new years to visit a friend:) In the same breath I should mention that I am from a nordic country, so a
lot of fashion advice simply don’t work here. I’ll see like a magazine that tips you to just put a denim jacket over your dress because the weather is getting colder and you’re good to go. I got snow to my calves in october:P

I think some of my problem is that I always think that if I get it in black/dark or maybe white, it will go with everything… So I got like one scarf that has color on it for example. No jewelry with color at all, just
gold and silver colors.

Another problem is that I don’t like to stand out and bring attention to myself, so I think that is where my fear of color partially stem form, this
applies also for makeup. Plus black/dark makes you look slimmer of
course.

Lastly, I feel like there are so many things I cannot wear because of my body type(I’ve actually lost a lot of weight, but because I got on the crazy train last year I stalled in my weightloss, but at least haven’t gained).
Someone mentioned turtlenecks for example. I only wear that when
hiking in the snow because I feel it brings attention to my chest and
that I got kinda broad shoulders. So I mostly only own V-necks(not
low cut) and wrapover styles(where I need to wear a singlet under so
my boobs don’t fall out…)

Last, I hate high heels and handbags and don’t own this. Sorry I‘m weird:D I also work in healthcare so no long nails or polish.

I see some mention bras; I only own minimizers. They also seem to be the only ones that fit me, others just stab me in the armpit no matter how many fittings I go to.

Thank you all for such encouraging words and advice, both about dressing but also the site itself:) I was really lost and frustrated yesterday, so I really appreciate this! Unfortunately I also need to have been a member for 3 days and made some posts before I can post pictures:P

Helena

Veteran

Zakuro, as a Canadian I feel your pain about the limitations of the weather. So many styling suggestions are perfect for northern California in early fall; not so much for Canada in December!

I really think it sounds like you've got a fab base in place. Dark colours are indeed classic and very flattering! V-necks and wrap tops are stylish and classic. Simple jewellery is fab. Colour is not the only option for you. You could use several dark neutrals in an outfit to add some interest (I love black and navy personally) or work the contrast between black & white; a pop of white is just as effective as a pop of colour against a dark background. I really like "nearly neutrals" - colours like deep burgundy or blush pink, that are not really neutrals, but are still really understated and mix really easily together, the way neutrals do.

You could incorporate some textures, subtle patterns, or layers. A fresh haircut can work wonders if that is something you might need.

Once you can start posting photos, you'll get much more specific and great suggestions, but in the meantime, is there a pattern you enjoy - maybe stripes, or plaid - or a texture? If I think about the outfit you describe - say a black v-neck sweater and black pants - I think you could add a black and white printed scarf and maybe white sneakers or boots and it would look amazing. You could do a cognac brown belt and boots to make it more casual and natural looking. Or make the pants black velvet. Lots of ways to build on it.

You'll find this is a very flat-shoe-friendly forum and you'll see some fab outfits with sneakers - even dressier ones! White boots are another way many members make a really trendy statement against a dark outfit.

rachylou

Veteran

I was going to say, when one wants to add brighter colour, I feel the easiest one to start with is blue. In my mind, it’s the most universally accepted, least alarming colour... !

Runcarla

Veteran

Sounds like you have a foundation of classic items in relatively neutral colours. The best way to add colour (in my opinion ) is to select a favourite colour that makes you happy, and collect 4 items in that colour that you can mix and match with what is currently in your closet. I live in Canada, and to brighten my mostly dark outerwear I started a red capsule.

A red beret
A red cross body bag
Red sneakers (when there isn’t too much snow)
And a Red puffer coat

Since my experiment worked out, I’ve added more red.

A skirt
A sweater
A flannel shirt

Interestingly, the more I wear colour, the less self conscious I feel about ‘standing out’.

zakuro

Good to know I’m not the only one drowning in snow in here:D

Ehm, what are dark neutrals…?:P

I don’t have a lot of pattern as mentioned, most patterns are floral, animal-print or stripes which I am not a fan of. Hard to come by other things. So I mostly have solid colours which I think are making thins harder. But I do like lacy things.

I’ve only recently started to mix different textures. I got this pair of pants that look like leather pants(they aren’t, just look the part), and I think it works well with a white, lacy singlet that I have because it is so feminine in contrast. I could also pair it with a knitted sweater if I could just find one that fit well.

Which brings me to what I think is another challenge; I don’t have a particular style I stick with. I got tough things like leather pants and -jackets, but I also got floral, girly dresses and feminine blouses, I got geeky star wars hoodies, and t-shirts with bunnies and unicorns. How do I even mix these??:P

My hair is mentioned and that is one of few things I’m happy with. Long, blond, think, wavy. Got a cut that works with it since it’s a little frizzy.

I already took some photos to post as soon as I can, one got-to-outfit(which is also the most colourful one:P), two new items I recently got, and a dress that I really like. I guess I like too much to hide in my body in my clothes…:\

The one suggesting blue; I love blue actually:)

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

I love the interplay of leather and lace in an outfit! Can you mix some of your other items the way you are the pants and singlet? There is no reason that contrast/balance couldn't be a hallmark of your style.

Also, did you see Suz’s WIW post? A blue top, burgundy topper, dark pants. She looks fabulous. It sounds like your closet has the ingredients for that as well.

Looking forward to the photos!

SarahD8

Veteran

Hi zakuro and welcome! I’m in the midst of planning a travel wardrobe for a trip *to* a Nordic country so I feel your pain...trying to figure out what will be comfortable, warm, and versatile— without ending up with a suitcase full of dark neutrals (by which I mean black, charcoal gray, navy/ink blue, and dark brown).

I like the sounds of where you are headed with texture (faux leather/lace) and style (leather jacket/unicorn tee) contrasts. You might get some inspiration from posts by Diana who is really good with mixing textures and also Rachylou who is the queen of zany contrasts (I mean that as a compliment!)

Runcarla has great advice upthread about building and then expanding a capsule of a new to your wardrobe color.

A couple of things that occur to me-

*i am also blonde and I find that light to medium gray can be a great strategy to lighten up outfits a bit, it’s equally versatile as black or white but can be less overwhelming on people with lighter/more delicate coloring.
*for incorporating color into your wardrobe, I think scarves are great. Also practical for filling in an open neckline like a v neck to keep warm. Not sure if you are planning to continue your weight loss journey but they will also fit across multiple sizes. Maybe you can find a scarf as a souvenir of your visit to your friend’s city!

Gigi

Veteran

I know the feeling of having a wardrobe that is primarily dark for the winter months. It seems like retailers don't offer very many bright colors, which makes things difficult.

I am nodding in agreement with a lot of what I have read above. The easiest way would be to try adding some jewelry. Maybe you could buy two pendants: one large one, which will break up the long expanse of color since you are wearing a lot of solids, and one smaller daintier one, which you could use to fill in the space in your V-neck sweaters. I'm not sure whether colorful pendants will be easy to find, however...I think most are in gold or silver. Rose gold might be a little off the beaten path, though.

Maybe think about a warm coat in a colorful hue? Maybe red? Or even a light cream color? I know that cream is not "colorful," but last year I got a cream puffer to wear in the winter, with faux fur, and I felt so good putting it on every day (until it started leaking feathers and I had to return it! ack!). It really helped cheer me up in the sea of black outerwear.

You could also look for colorful or patterned winter accessories: mittens, hats, scarves. You wear these frequently, so having them in lighter colors will be a lot of bang for your buck.

I would play around in your closet and try mixing some of your items. Mixing different styles (like tough and girly) can create some of the most interesting outfits!

I know you said that you don't feel that the slender YouTubers are helpful, but have you tried analyzing the outfits that you find pleasing to determine all the reasons WHY they are pleasing to you? Those elements are sometimes transferable, no matter what the body shape. For instance, you might find a particular color combination pleasing. Or you might find the small details (cuff trim, buttons, etc.) pleasing. Or you might find a particular pattern (plaid, houndstooth, etc.) pleasing. Then you can try to put together the same kinds of elements in your own wardrobe.

zakuro

SarahD8 – may I ask which country you are going to?:)

Blue top, burgundy
topper and dark pants… The only thing I think I’m missing out of
those are a blue top. And thanks for the tips about Diana and
Rachylou, I’ll check that out:)

I saw the capsule
tip further up, so I started making a list over things I think I
might want that has different color or texture than what I already
own. On it is a slightly long knitted sweater in light/medium blue, a
sleeveless blouse in a pattern with color and/or a satin-ish finish
in a solid color. Maybe a colorful scarf:) I am traveling to Turkey,
hence the frantic planning, so maybe I can find something there:)

Light gray is also
mentioned here, and I do have a dress in light gray, but it is one of
those motivational clothes that I own and want to fit into:P And it
is not a forgiving color either so I’m kinda self conscious about
it.

And yes, once my
life gets a little more stable, I’ll continue loosing weight. Not
sure what my goal is yet:P

I see long pendants
are suggested, and I quite like those, but I can’t wear the really
long ones that passes below the chest, cuz they end up bouncing off
my chest and whacking me in the face, lol! But I also like to make
stuff like this, so maybe I’ll try that. I could make whatever I
want.

Gigi mentions a coat
in color. I am really dying for a red peacoat... I was really
planning to reward myself with one once I lost the weight I want to.
Though I can never seem to find one in the stores here though, most
people don’t wear those here, just sporty winter jackets. But I
travel quite a lot so I can always find one abroad I guess.

Again, thanks for
all your help, I’m even making notes, lol:D

Oh dear, gotta cut
this short or I’ll be late for work:O

Runcarla

Veteran

Angie espouses dressing the body you have now (with love) - so don’t postpone having fun with fashion until some future date when you might reach some projected goal. Being happy now is more likely to support your long term goals anyway.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

You say colorful pendant, I say Kendra Scott. https://www.kendrascott.com/je.....necklaces/#

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Hello and welcome!

You’ve already gotten lots of great advice but I just wanted to say take it easy on yourself. I would wager that none of us here on this forum — even the ones with a very finely honed sense of their own style — arrived at their personal style quickly. I’ve been participating here for almost nine years, and I feel secure in my style now, but I feel like it’s taken lots of trial and error and experimentation.

The key is, as Angie often says, to have fun with the journey. Be kind to yourself, and get rid of anything in your wardrobe that you don’t like or makes you feel bad. Try collecting images of outfits that appeal to you — perhaps Pinterest might be useful? When I have done that in the past, clear patterns emerged in what I like and what I want to emulate.

Good luck!

nemosmom

Veteran

I don't have anything more to add to what others have already said, but wanted to extend the welcome! You are in the right place!

zakuro

Picture-time! I'm feeling really self-conscious uploading these, but you have all been so wonderful!:) Also I got poor lighting(I recently moved) so you'll have to excuse the quality.

I struggle with feeling confident with how I look, and I think some of the problems with my wardrobe is that I try to hide away my body, or at least the parts I really don't like. But at the same time, hiding them makes me feel more confident... Weird:P I really prefer dark on top, but with only black pants in my closet maybe I should look for non-black pants...

But anyway; the first picture is probably my most colourful go-to-outfit, and I wear it a lot. My pants here have a sidepanel with lace, and the singlet is lace so I figured they'd be good together.

The second one is my dark blue dress that I don't know what else to wear with... And the last one is something I kinda put together after playing around for a bit. You can't tell from the picture, but I put a dark blue merino wool sweater underneath. Its too cold to wear right now, but maybe as spring arrives. I often struggle with what to wear with that particular skirt.

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Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

I know we are supposed to be commenting on style, but my first impression at those pix is that this is not the “overweight” borderline BMI body I was expecting!

1 nice long over lean. Can’t see the lace in the pants, but I’ll take your word for it.

That’s a very clean look. An easy way to add more interest, if you want to, would be to swap out the leggings for one of your other dark colors.

3 This is my favorite of the batch! Love the various layers you’ve got going on & that tough jacket with the skirt.

Aquamarine

Veteran

You’ve received really good advice here. I want to add that your blonde hair is a light color in your overall look! Maybe start adding some lighter footwear to bookend (check the forum and past blog entries for examples...Angie has posted advice on this many times). And then try adding one more lighter or colorful item (scarf, jewelry, topper, etc.) and you can have your base of dark, slimming, comfortable-to-you looks with added lightness to ease your way to more color later if you want.

nemosmom

Veteran

The denim jacket and white in your scarf in #3 really lighten up your outfit! Maybe adding other medium washed denim would help? How about your denim jacket with the lace top in #1?

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Welcome from me since I didn’t reply earlier! You look gorgeous to me, lovely soft curves. It may be too early in your style journey, but you might enjoy the Kibbe thread and quiz that Torontogirl has got going at present? Kibbe talks about “yin” ( softer, more feminine) and “yang” ( more angular, dramatic) and you look quite “yin” to me.

Dreika

Another welcome from me as well. And if you don't mind, would also like to add that to me you look beautiful and fit in the pics you posted. Your BMI is in the normal range for a reason - you are in the normal range. Not saying that to understate how you feel but rather to lift your spirit up a bit.
You've got plenty of brilliant advice already, what I could add is that if you feel self conscious in bright colors, you could try brighten up your dark neutrals with light neutrals. Dark blue, black, or dark gray tops with beige, camel or light gray bottoms for example. That way you're still in the neutral palette - calm, not drawing attention - but your outfit would be lighter overall. A pop of bright color could be added in small doses - a belt accentuating your waist, or earrings (you mention that you don't own colored ones atm but maybe you could add a pair in your list for future purchases?).
The beautiful blue dress that you have could be paired with knee high boots in light gray or camel color instead of the predictable black. For more streamlined look you could wear tights in the same color as the boots - this look is quite on trend right now.
Fit wise - why not try the so on trend high waist trousers with wider legs? I think they are made for your body type - the wider hems will balance out your shoulders and overall the outfit might feel more balanced to you. Plus, it will give you variety when mixed with the skinniness. Even if you don't have much color maybe a variety in the silhouettes will make you feel better about your wardrobe.

Anonymous

Welcome! Lots of good advice here, and you definitely look fit to me too! Since you have a lot of darks, Imogen's blog actually had an article about low contrast outfits yesterday https://insideoutstyleblog.com.....sting.html
What about adding more mid tone neutrals, like brown, grey and olive?

zakuro

I also think I’m “yin,” in terms of style. If I try more
masculine styles like boyfriend jeans I feel like I look like a man:P

Again, thank you all
for so much encouragement and advice:) I’m still taking notes on
things I should try from this tread, so I got a pretty long list:D
There have been several mentions of neutrals, and I guess I don’t
have a lot of those. I got a light grey dress but the smallest sign
of sweat and it shows very easily so as a former pretty big person
who would sweat a lot; that is a terrifying colour:P But I guess I
should add neutrals to my “I want something like this in my
closet-list.”

I had this weekend
off, so I’ve been playing around with my wardrobe again after
watching a youtube video. Does anything look strange to you guys? It's the same all round except the bottom here.

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Suz

(website)

Veteran

You are making winter style look great! These are super outfits for cold and snowy climes. (I'm another Canadian, so I get the frustrations of bloggers wearing high heeled sandals with their puffer coats!)

Looks to me as if you have lots of neutrals.

Dark neutrals include black, navy, charcoal, chocolate brown, dark olive green and sometimes burgundy (depending on the person).

Light neutrals include: light grey, white or ivory, camel.

Then there is red, which some (including me) consider a neutral in itself.

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