I'm lost lately. Plus wiw 4/24-25

LJP

I'm feeling lost and not in tune with my style, - in fact I have no style. I thought I had a clear idea of how I wanted to dress, but it rarely comes together. The upcoming summer season is depressing me as I'm looking at a bunch of my recently un-packed clothing I can't figure out how to style, or if it even works . I think part of my problem is that I dress in minimal, modern,nice black pieces during the week, but then I crave something I don't associate with work to wear on the weekends. I then buy pieces with a lot more colour and pattern that I would normally be drawn to, but can't figure out how to wear them without looking like a southern retirement complex resident. Which is how I felt in outfit #2 posted below.

The floral shirt in the second outfit : purchased over a year ago and still had tags on . Every time I put it on, I take it right back off. It's made of beautiful cotton, also beautifully constructed and fits and feels nice. But I can't figure out how to wear it. It's not me. Why did I buy it? Also cropped pants. They are not feeling right this spring - I"m getting retirement village vibes again . I first put the shirt on with long slouch straight leg jeans, but felt blah. I have no idea what I'm doing . Wore this grocery shopping today and felt conspicuous and overly styled. I could have worn Birkenstocks or Sambas, but that felt predictable and "trendy" . Do I pass on the shirt and cropped pants ? I love the look of long wide legs, but they will be far too hot for summer.

I also went shopping yesterday with an open mind - looking for some more work tops (but also open to anything interesting for summer leisure wear) . Maybe you're not supposed to go shopping without a plan. I felt old and invisible in Aritizia, completely confused in Zara, and in general hated what I was wearing - LINEN- and how I looked . Lululemon was cute but I felt frumpy and old . I'm struggling with my hair and my skin these days too (rapidly thinning hair and skin that has so much hyper pigmentation now - photo 3 ugh) and it's affecting how I feel in my clothes. Also my perennial weight struggle. Please tell me I'm not the only one who struggles with these feelings?

I'm house and cat sitting this weekend, so brought my copy Allison Bornstein's book (also unread ) with me to try to sort out a style direction . Thanks for reading my oh-woe-is-me story - I need some direction .

Outfit #1 - over to DD's to supervise the cats. Sweatsuit - Old Navy, jacket - Zara, Birkenstocks, and floral socks from Simons.
Outfit #2 - ill fated experiment today - shirt - Zara, jeans - Dear John, sneakers - Sam Edelman (also 5 years old and worn maybe twice) , jacket- Zara , Bag - indie boutique brand.

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18 hours ago

Dressing

31 replies

Latest reply was from Janet

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Well, I for one do not see what you see here. In the "ill-fated" experiment, I see a beautifully coordinated casual look. The colours of the top are super flattering and go well with the (very fun and current-looking) cuffed faded denim. The lighter and mid-tone neutral shoes and jacket and bag finish the outfit off and show you put some thought into the ensemble, which to my mind is a good thing! I really like this outfit and do not see "retirement village." Also, you are not overstyled except by the standards of the woefully overcasualized Canadian population! You look good. Full stop. And if I ran into you in the store, I'd think, what a great spring outfit!

Having said that, you often feel ill at ease in colour/ pattern. It's been a frequent refrain every spring / summer. You are attracted to it (for understandable reasons) but then when you buy and wear these pieces you end up feeling less sophisticated than you might like. Therein lies a dilemma. Objectively, this looks good on you -- suits you! But you don't see it that way. And if you don't like it, it's not right for you, period. No praise and compliments for the outfit will make a difference. Maybe you'd prefer a tonal look, with less pattern, or pattern only in a small dose -- scarf? Bag? Shoes? Or no pattern, just texture. I see the problem, though. Minimalism all week means you long for something different on the off days. But if minimalism is your real deep preference, go for it -- just not in black.

I do understrand this dilemma. I have it a bit in reverse. I'm always deeply attracted to minimalist looks and feel it would be a more sophisticated direction for me to go. But whenever I try to dress that way I don't feel like myself -- my urge to add a bit of pattern or something playful or colourful rears up and I'm back in manic pixie land again. Sigh.

As for feeling ill at ease or confused or out of place in stores -- sometimes that happens! When we are feeling low, shopping in person is difficult.

Many of us here are dealing with skin changes (hand goes up!), hair thinning (hand goes up again, and this is a total shock because my hair has been insanely thick all my earlier life, yikes!), and weight changes (my weight went up in the months I've been unable to get as much exercise -- predictable, but annoying.) So I can certainly empathize with all of that. I don't have any real answers. I definitely have days when the changes of aging bother me more. But the alternative is worse, so I just try to enjoy what I can -- mostly excellent health, good recovery for my age, and so on.

17 hours ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Oh, also, love kitty!

17 hours ago

Debbie

Veteran

Love the kitty and the kitty bed.
I agree with what Suz said. I don’t see what you see but I get it. I don’t feel as put together lately as I normally do. I have not pinpointed the reason yet.

I’m agree with Suz on the tonal looks. If you want some color add it in a bag shoes or even a scarf tied on your bag.
Hair and skin changes are a problem for all of us. At 71 I can tell you that will continue.

I think you look great but you have to feel it.

17 hours ago

Pat_P

Active Member

I do the same thing! I think I want color and pattern, especially in the spring, but then quickly realize it’s not “me.” I’ve finally realized that simple shapes and mostly neutrals are what works for me. (Except, strangely, for pink. Pink always feels great, even very bright pink.) Other than that, I find my colors and patterns are best saved for shoes and jewelry. I don’t know if that approach would work for you? Also, I find lighter neutrals can give me the “color” I think I want. You always look great in shades of cream, white, and beige!

16 hours ago

Dee

Veteran

Outfit#1 comfy casual and very nicely put together, floral socks are adorable. Perfect outfit for house and kitty sitting.

Outfit #2 I can see the quality of the pretty floral top, and you've styled it really well BUT I find once we label something as " retirement resident" or whatever its really hard to shake off that connotation.

I'm nodding along with so much of what SUZ has mentioned referencing minimalism vs pattern and figuring out what your true preferences are. As for aging, ugh, yes, I can definitely see all the changes in my skin tone, lines around the eyes and mouth, weigh gain and sagging. I would love to have my younger features back but that's not going to happen so I'm trying to deal with it all the best I can. Hopefully, you'll find a way forward to sorting your style direction.

16 hours ago

Carla

Veteran

I’m the same as Suz - attracted to minimalist looks, but don’t feel like me without colour, and every now and then something wack-a-doodle. I accept that on any given day I’m going to switch up my style to suit my persona of the day.

I’ve figured out that if I keep a few of those questionable purchases, rather than pass them along, it keeps me from repurchasing the thing. I keep the boho top, the Hawaiian shirt, the party shoes - even if they don’t get high wear numbers. They are in the closet when the itch needs scratching (which it does every year at around the same time) or else it acts as a reminder that I’ve already got the ingredient, and don’t need more.

If you want to be ‘seen’ wear a bright or unusual colour. Works every time. The folks who made minimal neutral coloured outfits popular adopted the style in part because they were celebrities who wanted anonymity! (CB, Jennifer Aniston, and the Olsen sisters are on record saying this!)

You’ve had the same hair style for as long as I’ve been aware of your presence on the forum - with the exception of changing up the colour. I figure it’s signature to your look. You could always ask some stylists what they would suggest for you, but it seems to me you have some distinct preferences and will go at your hair with your scissors once it gets longish - and ‘hate’ it if you go too short.

16 hours ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Cute, kitty!

I love that floral shirt on you, LJP! Fab botanical print! I remember how much you like plants and flowers so it's authentic. It screams SPRING - and is refreshing post a bitter Canadian Winter. In #6, you could be walking the streets of the Netherlands, about to get onto your bike for a grocery run. I see a hip and practical Euro look

I must compliment Suz and Debbie on their very thoughtful comments! Very wise and supportive.

You are absolutely not the only one who feels this way! What you’re describing is something I see often with my clientele, especially during seasonal transitions and at moments when life - (or our bodies) - feel like they’re shifting. It can knock your sense of style off balance. Not that I think yours has been knocked!

You KNOW I think you have a fabulous sense of style, LJP! You describe it clearly: minimal, modern, streamlined, sophisticated, and grounded in black. That’s a strong and coherent style foundation! The disconnect seems to happen when you try to create a separate weekend identity that doesn’t feel like an honest extension of that core. To Suz's point!

Instead of splitting “work you” and “weekend you,” it might help to think of your style as one continuous thread, with slightly different expressions depending on the setting. Your weekend outfits don’t need to be louder, more patterned, or more colourful to feel different. They can simply be non-athletic, light and earthy neutrals, solid, and less casual versions of what already feels like you.

Your shopping experience also makes sense! Walking into stores without some sort of plan when you’re already feeling unsure can amplify that “nothing works and I feel invisible” feeling. It’s not you, it’s the process. Going in with a simple intention, like “I’m looking for one relaxed summer bottom that works with my existing tops,” can make a big difference. For example, you mentioned loving long, wide legs. That’s a great clue!! Explore that option.

Lastly, we ALL have wobbles about our skin and hair changes as we age. My hand is up with you, Suz and Debbie! My skin is VERY sensitive so I have to cover up from the sun. My hair is thinning too, although I've always had fine hair. That’s real! And it can influence how we experience our outfits. When I have a wobble, I focus on small, controllable wins. Outfits that feel easy, polished, playful, on the dressier side, and attractive. Colours that lift my mood. Fabrics that feel good on my skin. Styling my hair in a way that works with the weather! And I build from there.

We are never going to be as young as we are today! That - and your good health and great sense of style - deserves celebration

16 hours ago

Sal

Veteran

What lovely thoughtful comments above. I don't know if I can be so eloquent.

I like the floral shirt outfit especially the floral shirt......but patterns can be picky. My holding zone is small but has patterned pieces I have gone off.

Both outfits suit you well - but outfit 2 doesn't feel like how you want to dress any more. Having seen your wonderful chic work looks I can understand how you want to wear something different (esp in colour) but the weekend outfits are hard.

The good thing is you probably don't need a lot because it's only two to three days a week. I'd start off with wearing and making some outfits from what you have and like in this weekend everyday capsule. And then shopping any gaps. Would you consider mixing in black joggers or work pants with lighter neutral tops in the weekend? Different shoes and tops would make the work pants look very different - ivories and olives and chocolates in tops and shoes with black pants would look good on you.

I am looking for an elevated lounge/travel/weekend outfit at the moment and whilst there is a lot available I am struggling to find what I want - some of the prices are so high - and matching sets are so popular, but I don't want light pants and I don't suit lots of the gorgeous neutrals that are available...... so I am sitting on my hands and wearing my old cargo pants and stretchy not quite leggings/not quite joggers - and a hoodie my husband no longer wanted....

And yes grief about our looks and changes there is real. I can have that too but unfortunately right now my younger sisters are both having a really hard time right now (one a devastating relationship split, one a major health issue affecting her hair and appearance) so in comparison i feel very lucky. And my eyesight is getting worse so sometimes I can't see the pigmentation

15 hours ago

LJP

Veteran

Ha - well I didn't realize I was so predictable in my annual spring freak-out. Point noted. Throwing money at the problem never works, does it?

And one thing I have to say first is to Carla: yes, I've worn my hair the same way for decades. I have fine, thin hair , thinning very dramatically at the temples, crazy crown growth patterns and am not adept at styling . I do it the only way I know how, and don't have the time and wherewithal to experiment. I've taken every supplement, hair growth system, shampoo, you name it and nothing works .I know it's not always the most flattering - but I honestly don't have a solution. I've told myself that when I fully retire, I'll let it go and see where I can get with it. No colour, and no cutting for awhile. But until then, I'm kind of stuck.

Suz, Debbie and Angie , Pat P , Dee - thank you ! And Suz, yes, I can see how we are opposites in how we react to our clothing. Adding colour and pattern though accessories is the best advice ever, and I can relate to it.

The cats are driving me crazy. I'm headed over for the 3rd night there and am hanging on to my sanity by a thread. They demand breakfast at 6 am and then start chasing each other around and play fighting. And meowing randomly at the patio door. I haven't slept in 3 days. I forgot how idiotic cats are .

15 hours ago

Irina

Veteran

As always, you are too hard on yourself. Dressing for a new season sometimes feel wobbly in the beginning, takes time for all of us to adjust to our summer wardrobes. Despite being a minimalist, I occasionally crave color or pattern but I usually reserve it for warmer months when it’s easier to style. I think your second outfit is ok, maybe you would like it to be edgier, which is harder to achieve with light color florals. The only thing I would change is probably try it with a collar under a jacket. Without a jacket, I see it styled with your cream bag and more refine shoes to create tension in the outfit.

Your first outfit looks very you, sporty style is really great on you.

Oh, the aging hair, skin and pesky weight gains! I used to unintentionally loose pounds in 2-3 days due to stress all my life, basically until I turned 55. Now, I can’t intentionally loose 3 pounds in 3 months! Grrrrr! Retinol serums help to fight skin pigmentation but only a little. It is what it is. I do my best to care for my skin and thinning hair while enjoying what is left of it

15 hours ago

Irina

Veteran

Oh, cats are lovely! Sooo cute! My geriatric cat (16 years old) wakes me up around 4 in the morning. I fight him off for half an hour and then get up to feed him. He comes back to me for petting an hour later and very insistent! I basically don’t sleep in the mornings anymore

15 hours ago

kkards

Veteran

Grrr, I’ve lost my response twice now

sigh. I can completely relate. I’ve also bought things that “aren’t me”, but hmmm, I bought them so something about them apparently appealed to me, and therefore is me.

Anyway what I’ve found is that the “not me’s” must be paired with the totally me’s. So the floral shirt, I’d pair it with my favorite jeans, or for you, maybe your favorite trousers. I think part of the issue is you’re trying 2 things you’re not 100% sure of together. Start small, get comfortable and then, maybe wear 2 “not quite me’s” together. Ha, who am I kidding, I really if ever wear 2 “not me’s” together. 1 at a time is my personal best.

15 hours ago

Lisa

Veteran

Pretty kitty!

When I look at these outfits I see a soft casual style with some trendy elements, I'd never know that you were struggling with them.

I think we've all been there with struggling with the changes that come with the blessing of aging. I know for me I am not a fan of my hair. It always looks like it's growing out, even though it's been YEARS since I've colored it. Any growing out color is long gone. I eventually learned that my natural "grey" pattern is heavily concentrated around the crown, which leads to the always growing out look. I also had a number of health issues that started to really impact my physical mobility and my overall shape, it was really depressing until I got educated and everything got back under control.

There is excellent advice here already, I just want you to know you are not alone with your struggles and I wish you best of luck as you work through the journey.

14 hours ago

Irina

Veteran

Another point - I don’t know if it happens to you but I often find myself in love with some pretty print. I learned from my mistakes that admiring and wearing don’t always go hand in hand. Last year I purchased (and returned) a number of vintage looking printed cotton and linen floral button down shirts and even a dress. Loved fabrics and disliked it on me. Sad. But I have to feel authentic in my clothes. Do you feel like you in florals? Is it styling that bothers you or an item itself?

14 hours ago

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Lisa I always admire how frank you are in your posts. I am going to try to match your honesty.
I would get rid of the printed top. I laughed at the southern retirement home description but I get it - I have family in south Florida. Just avoid prints for now.
Skin, hair and body changes. Yes, I started life with quite thick hair so the hair thinning still leaves me with a lot but it isn't getting better. Pigmentation is a major issue for me and everything I try seems to make it worse. I gained weight with menopause ten years ago and it is still here despite my efforts.
Your current hair cut looks great and I like the red, fwiw.
My best tip is to look at women with visible signs of aging and great style - I follow some on instagram and it always gives me a boost. Sounds minor but for me, seeing stylish women my age and older is a great morale booster. One of the reasons I love YLF actually.

14 hours ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I want to add here that (in my opinion) florals are hard!! I mean they are the hardest of the patterns. Even those who like florals tend to be quite particular about them. They must be dark and moody to be ok. Or they must be abstract. They must be large scale (or small, or medium.) They must be two colours only -- or a lot of colours, or tonal, or strictly black and white. Or strictly in blues, or reds, or pinks....I could go on.

I wear stripes, tartans, and checks and some animal prints, paisleys and florals. Of these patterns, florals are without question the pattern I will tire of the fastest. A gingham check or a subtly striped shirt might remain a favourite for a decade. A floral? Unlikely.

I just put an abstract floral linen shell UNWORN into the donate pile because I realized that in the time between buying it -- end of season last year -- and now, I had tired of the pattern. At the time I bought it, I thought it was the best thing ever. It wasn't cheap, either, even on sale. I regret this, but someone else will be really happy about it.

13 hours ago

LJP

Veteran

Lest I sound like a self absorbed twit , can I share how profoundly appreciative I am of my health , strength and mobility ? Every single day in my job , I can help people financially , emotionally and physically . I work with members who have critical illnesses , devastating mobility issues , poor social and community supports and am struck every day how lucky am . My job has given me more empathy and strength than I knew I had , and I’m so grateful for that . When I whine about hair and skin and how fat I look , I hope it’s received in the manner it’s intended : between friends .

13 hours ago

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I relate very much with the responses you’ve gotten here and agree that the outfits you post look perfectly current and not at all “retirement village” but I totally get the feeling!

Sometimes I’ll put on an ensemble that recalls something I’ve seen on one of the style YTers, usually a simple tee and pants, and think yeah, minimalist and modern, baby! And then I look in the mirror and think I look shapeless and matronly. I don’t have the 30 year old, narrow-hipped, boobless build that seems to make these things look cool and intentional, LOL.

I think at this phase of life, we have to rethink some of our styling instincts. If I can bring some tension or edge into an outfit, I feel much better about it. Especially if the outfit is mostly light in tone or containing multiple colors. Prints are definitely more of a stumbling. Lock for me lately than they used to be! All of a sudden, many of them feel like too much. I’ve given away a few printed tops for this reason, and have been very selective about any new prints!

The aging skin stuff is hard. I try not to look at my neck anymore, yikes. It’s pretty dramatic. And to make matters worse, I seem to have acquired a new tendency towards eczema—a patch right on my neck where the texture is already making me self-conscious. Part of me wants to live the rest of my life in scarves and turtlenecks, LOL.

And then I remind myself that how I look now is the youngest I will ever look, and being healthy is the most important thing.

You look fab. Period!

13 hours ago

LJP

Veteran

Jaime - you make me laugh . I was going to reference Florida but didn’t want to offend anyone , lol. Maybe I’m too open and frank here but as much as I struggle to be a perfect member and all cheerleader - y , this is where I feel comfortable talking personal appearance . I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea though .

13 hours ago

Sal

Veteran

Florals - agree are tricky! I wonder if they go from being for a young person to being for suddenly a much older person....Maybe they are just too hard in your 50s and 60s.....The only florals I am wearing now are in the midi dress (which I do still enjoy) and the floral adjacent prints in the blouse (squiggles) and wide leg pants (paisley) All my others are in the holding zone or gone.....

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13 hours ago

LJP

Veteran

Suz - and Sal - good point about florals in general being hard to wear . And I couldn’t agree more that they one thing when you’re young , but another when you’re older ( hence the Florida retirement village moniker , lol) . I have never worn prints . I’m the opposite of Suz in that I don’t wear stripes , absolutely no polka dots , gingham , tartan and plaid ( except in a coat ) , and even moody abstract prints don’t appear in my closet . I cannot remember why I bought this shirt - probably thinking it was something I “ should “ like and be able to style .

And another good point , Irina , about the start of a season feeling wobbly , as it were . I’m now on my phone so will reserve further replies until I’m back home with a laptop . Here are 2 photos I saved from a current fav blogger ( she’s based in the UK ) . THIS is how I wish I dressed .

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13 hours ago

Ket

Veteran

Omg I love your inspo style photos!! You say it’s how wish to dress. Why not?? I bet you would look sooooo utterly fab in it!

I agree with everyone else here: your floral outfit is fabulous on you! You look super chic. You look far more trendy and chic than me, that’s for sure! In the best way ever!

And I love you in wide leg crops! I hope you’ll try more wide leg pants. And your inspo styles. Nudge wink

Love the cat! Sorry they’re being so spunky and disruptive. Our cats can get a wee naughty at times. :} I feel it’s a cat thing lol!

Oh our beautiful fabbers! Their advice is all so wise and wonderful. You’ve gotten great insights.

“southern retirement complex resident” ha! I chuckled with laughter reading this. Not at you!! No, I was laughing because I struggle with that same thing. I used to live in South Florida and it is a thing I call it “retirement home”. I can’t put my finger on what it is; it’s not every floral shirt. It’s certain lines or styles with certain florals. There are even some outfits that feel too mature or too “retirement home” on me.

FWIW, I’ve been going through a style shift myself. After all the toxic mold and hitting my 40s, I felt lost. Last summer my summer wardrobe didn’t please me or feel “me” at all, despite all my initial excitement and careful planning. I realized as much as I admire Dolce Vita, resort wear, and Dolce & Gabbana styles, it’s not what I feel good wearing. I’ve slowly worked out what feels good to me. It’s dressing for what brings me great joy —vs what I felt I *should* be wearing. If that makes sense?? Ive had to try things out. And I’ve payed attention to what I’m really drawn to. So far that’s boho, modern luxe (think Victoria Beckham), modern outlander, 1970s and 80s, and some vintage and artsy stuff. That’s what I love. And I’m so far finding ways to make it really work and feel good on me.

So, maybe releasing “florals for summer” as your summer style and leaning into black and minimalism is better and a happier place for you. I think black in summer is very chic. I actually wear a fair amount of navy, black, and solids in summer myself. I do get the struggle with distancing oneself from work. That said, I like Angie’s thought to make your weekday style and what you love a continuous thread into the weekend. That is what I’ve done and it’s mostly worked in my previous career seasons.

Skin. If you ever want to discuss anti-aging skincare, let me know!! I’m doing light and medium at-home peels from Platinum Skin Care. I’ve also switched all my skincare to PSC too. (Their products are very concentrated and high powered.) I’ve seen their customers reverse a lot of sun damage, lines, etc. It takes time and consistency but you do get results. My skin is really improving! My forehead lines are nearly gone. My skin is even, brighter. My melasma and sunspots are fading. I know I’m only 43, but I’m seeing ladies in their 50s and 69s get results too.

Hair. Have you had your thyroid fully checked (full panel, not just TSH)? The thyroid can downshift as we age. Low thyroid causes thinning hair. As does declining sex hormones. I’m personally a big proponent and user of hormone replacement therapy as well as peptide therapy; peptide therapy has given me my life and body back. (And it’s not just for the elite; it’s very accessible now.) Just throwing this all out there. No pressure. You maybe have explored these already and feel it wasn’t for you.

12 hours ago

Indigoprint

Veteran

What a group of wise women here in this safe space.
Lisa I love the way you styled the sweats. Would you be comfortable in other colors styled that way? I could see you in oatmeal with a different jacket or that lovely mustard color or olive green?
I feel your pain with the floral. It's beautiful and I think it looks Fab, maybe play around with other bottoms?
For me, my bad is stripes. I love them and they fit my style but if they are too contrasty it's not pretty. I have just recently figured to use them as an under layer with just parts peeking out....cuffs, shirttail. Maybe that could work for you?
I always feel unsorted in season transitions. It's like I forget how to wear my clothes. Also influenced that my Fav seasons are Fall and Winter, so I dread going into Spring/Summer.
Do you follow Signe at uselessdk? I like her content.

11 hours ago

slim cat

Veteran

I can relate to the mixed feelings about floral prints in some way. I love printed pieces - more like graphic tees, ikat prints, mix of geometrical and some floral ( in moderation ).
I have floral printed linen jacket that I used to wear regularly couple years ago that I stopped wearing last year - it feels a bit too much ( too sweet, too safe and maybe not me anymore ). I've got instead cotton/linen jackets in completely different prints - one has Parisian street print, one - imaginary city, and one - close to the ikat print in my fav colors ( blue, navy, aqua ). I thought I needed solid tops to go under those jackets - they didn't feel right on me ( wearing subtle printed tops/graphics instead ).
You feel yourself in solid pieces - with some details ( maybe sporty elements ) and the sweetness of floral print is just not you. I like the suggestion of focusing on texture and some restrained color in accessories - fun new project .
The changing skin is on my mind as well ( since like 18 months ago - lol ).

9 hours ago

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

This thread is so interesting, and even inspiring. What a warm and thoughtful set of responses. I couldn't really come up with an answer to your dilemma. Then I came back and found all of this commiseration and insight.

I'm going to try to remember (with my increasingly faulty memory) kkards' advice: one "not-me" thing in an outfit at a time!

I have also come to realize that if an outfit doesn't quite feel like me, I may be able to solve it by adding denim, if it's not already there.

You've got lots of good responses, here, LJP, and I'm touched to read how you feel about the forum as a community of friends where you can be comfortable sharing your frustrations as well as triumphs.

9 hours ago

kellygirl

Veteran

I think you look put together in both of these. The joggers and clogs looks great. Polished and sporty. I also really like the floral outfit on you but I think I enjoy florals more than most... I hope you can figure out a way to incorporate it and make it feel more like you. It's a nice break from neutrals. I would pair it with something that would toughen it up - like boot cuts or BF jeans.
I've enjoyed reading the comments here. It's refreshing to read about the joys of aging especially when I see so much reverse aging on social media! I can commiserate with the thinning hair and how efficient my body has become in holding on the every pound for dear life! Little annoyances but it could be worse. That's my work motto too.

8 hours ago

VioletMyra

Active Member

I too can ignore the pigmentation; the more than 100 hairs a day I lose each time I do my hair, BUT what I can't ignore are my balding eyebrows! The brow pencil shading is no longer enough <sigh>. Best wishes to all.

6 hours ago

Bijou

Veteran

I'm sorry you are feeling this way, because of course you look fab, but understand your feeling of frustration, it is great that you are analysing the reason you feel the second outfit is not right for you. It is so tempting to change things up, but sometimes a 'refresh' doesn't work. Alternatively, it can take a few wears for me to actually feel myself in a new item. I was like this the first time I wore wide leg jeans after many years of skinny jeans, now I cannot imagine wearing skinny jeans again!

Feeling good in patterns can be tricky, perhaps you are a solids person through and through. I know that leopard print, lace items and embroidery are patterns that I always come back to. I have some florals and stripes, but I need to be careful, I can get enthusiastic in store only to find them languishing in my wardrobe unloved and unworn.

I love your comment that YLF is a safe place to be honest, I always admire your candid observations. I know you don't like photo 3, but what jumped out at me was how beautiful your eyes are and how your hair, eyebrows and light make-up showcase your eyes.

5 hours ago

bella

(website)

Veteran

I like this look actually!
But I am in the same boat as you are. I want to update my jeans collection and tried on more than 10 pairs at Zara, MNG and Mavi. I also ordered a bunch of jeans from a local online retailer. It was a dreadful experience, total bust!

Like you, every few years I think I need more patterned tops in my life. But then as soon as I commit to one, I realize I really am not a pattern person (excepting swimwear, maybe?)

I am glad that you shared your thoughts, though. Reading Angie's as well as others' viewpoints was helpful.

2 hours ago

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