I'm a laughing stock>>> - YouLookFab Forum

Louise

Have to admit i've not shared my ylf passion with people. It's seems such a sensible thing to do here but i guess feels a bit silly in the real world x

16 years ago

marianna

Veteran

My boyfriend knows that I take pictures of my outfits, but that's the only person. I think I'd be a little embarrassed if others found out though... but it's obviously nothing to be ashamed about. This is a very innocent internet activity. We should be admired for taking pride of our dress and wanting feedback/advice!

16 years ago

taylor

Veteran

Ahh kids, gotta love those little darlings...my adult children love to tease me about all sorts of things:)

16 years ago

Vani

Veteran

SO many times. Sometimes when I'm showing someone in the family or a friends pictures of a trip or something on my laptop and they start "wandering" into other folders (mainly older family members seem to have no issues with doing that) and start asking me weird questions or worse, critiquing them!

Sometimes when I haven't copied over some pictures of my outfits from the camera's memory card to my laptop and someone else (again, family) is using it to take family pictures and again, start "wandering" and "browsing" through all my pictures. I just laugh it off and say "oh, its just something I do for this forum thing I'm into" and either "wander" away myself or redirect their attention to "those fun pictures from that trip they haven't seen yet". DH, bless him, has never mentioned this in front of anyone of his own accord.

All in fun though

16 years ago

Mamapicklejuice

Veteran

Ha - I post my pictures to my flickr account and my sister was like, uh, why are you taking pictures of your feet?? (I was taking a picture of my textured tights and black heels.) Uhhhhh...

16 years ago

Laura

(website)

Veteran

My sister-in-law looked through photos on our computer this summer and I think she thought I was a bit self-obsessed (taking photos of myself in millions of different outfits) until I explained. Now I let everyone in on the news when Angie invites me to do a MOTG post and my friends and family get a kick out of it.

16 years ago

Srujana

Veteran

My boyfriend is the only one that knows about my involvement (read: obsession) with YLF...and in spite of his blatant enthusiasm for the forum in general and the boost its given my self confidence, I'm still sometimes shy to have him take my pics. I agree with Louise that what we do seems so natural and sensible here, but I think most of my friends and family would find it silly.

16 years ago

Kristine

Veteran

Oh well, at least you're a well-dressed laughing stock!

16 years ago

Maya

Veteran

YLF and real life stay 100% distinct for me. Worlds should NOT collide. Lucky for me that I have my own laptop and camera. I have accepted the off chance that someone I know might stumble upon YLF one day and see my YesStyle reviews or catch some pics of me on the forum, but it seems like a pretty small risk given the kinds of friends I have.

This is one of the reasons I am angry at Facebook for overriding my privacy settings. I used to have a YLF friends group, among others, and now they are all visible to each other.

My parents don't know anything about YLF and it's going to stay that way. Ever since I was 13 and we first got internet access, my mother has been neurotic about me interacting with strangers online. You would think now that I'm twice that age, she would relax a little, but it isn't so. She would have an apoplexy if she found out I was posting pictures of myself to a group of complete strangers. All of you are almost certainly dirty old men, according to mom.

16 years ago

Kristen

(website)

Veteran

My husband admitted this weekend that on his fishing forum -- pause for a giggle right there -- a group of members were putting together a spreadsheet of their favorite local weekend fishing sites, time of day that they like to go, if they have boats, etc. Because then they are going to try to put together fishing buddies and trips together.

I said ,"So...you're never going to tease me about the fashion blog ever again, are you?"

He reminded me that he actually doesn't tease me; we don't have the same hobbies, but he does understand the fun of having one!

16 years ago

Kristen

(website)

Veteran

I should add: all of my local friends, save the ones from work, are people I first met online. ALL. So none of us have any trouble accepting the various sites we hang out at or the things we do for those sites. A few of them follow my blog!

16 years ago

Srujana

Veteran

LOL Maya, ditto!! =)

16 years ago

Kari

Veteran

To my knowledge, no one from real life sees what I post here, though I've mentioned YLF to a few friends & family members simply because I've found Angie's advice to be so useful. It'll be interesting if I ever do find out that people I know in real life read it, and I'm sure I'll be embarrassed, but oh well. I make sure not to post anything that I *wouldn't* feel comfortable with someone else stumbling across.

16 years ago

medusa

Veteran

Carole, that sounds stressful! I haven't had that experience since I'm kind of secretive about posting photos on the forum

Maybe you should come up with a witty comeback...I might say, "I'm so glad you found my clothing photos and not the amateur porn I've been making!"

Edit: I'm not sure I would actually have the guts to say that, especially to my son.

16 years ago

Dawn

(website)

Active Member

I have had my real life and YLF and my blog collide in a couple of different ways.

The first one is that Alan takes most of my photos with his SLR and frequently will never delete photos off his memory card for months so his friends frequently flick back through his camera (often without his permission). Now this has only came up once or twice, and there is never really many questions about it as I just say Alan wanted to take a photo of me.

However I have told a couple of close friends about my blog as they are either interested in fashion or are just too close to not tell. Of the four or five who know, most of them don't give a damn... but I have had to ask them not to tell other people as some of our acquaintances would actually use it against me to try to embarrass me or so on. I also don't want to write my blog knowing that someone who has tried to bully or harass me before is reading it.

If any of my friends stumble across my blog, I will hold my head up high as I am proud of it. It may not be mind-blowing but I have put time and effort into it and I am proud of that dedication.

Also because it is more my friends than my family who would potentially see photos or read my blog, I wouldn't have too many problems telling someone who can't accept my various interests to either accept it or drop the topic. I wouldn't judge their interests so why should they judge mine?

16 years ago

Queen Mum

Veteran

I have a ton of thoughts here but only a minute.
First of all I'm glad to hear I'm not the only closet YLF'r here. Why that is has had me thinking all day....
One thing that might get you off the hook when people find outfit pics on your computer. Just say that you take pictures of outfits you try and they help you see what works, and helps you decide what to wear when you are having trouble putting together an outfit on a given day. That should make sense to people (especially women)

And Maya, you found me out! LOLOL

16 years ago

Misia

Veteran

My husband and my son bug me about it, but in the good way, and my dear friend thinks its a great thing. But I'm being selective who I tell.

16 years ago

Lee Hovey

Active Member

I have alot of the same embarrassment as you all have described, though I am such an open and honest person that I have trouble not telling people i know about my blog.

My family knows about it and actually checks it often. They enjoy it as a way to keep up with me and whats going on in my life, since I am a several hours drive from them, and very close emotionally. My older sister also has 2 blogs of her own, though they aren't fashion blogs.

Other people in my life just know that I have a blog. A few of them have seen it, because it is the easiest way to show them pictures of my dogs, and my Christmas present this year; stuff like that.

My worse embarrassment is trying to find a good spot to take pictures that is visually appealing, has enough light, and is private from strangers. I have received some strange looks from joggers while taking outfit pics in a park near my office.

16 years ago

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

Oh Carole, I sincerely hope the teasing was affectionate rather than mean-spirited. A love of fashion is nothing to be ashamed of, and I hope you weren't made to feel that way.
This post is fascinating to me. It seems most of us, including me, have instinctively kept our involvement in an online fashion community relatively under wraps. Corey is my photographer and is fully au courrant with major YLF developments, though he knows it only as "the fashion blog." I've told two or three good friends about it, who all think it's great that I've found a place to get candid fashion feedback (they all knew this was a source of past anxiety). But my family know nothing about YLF, nor do I want them to. I think part of this comes from a cultural stigma. Perhaps you won't agree, but I find intelligent North American women are frowned upon if they spend too much time worrying about their appearnace. Collective wisdom suggests they should be focused on less superficial things and ought to be absorbed in world affairs or artistic ventures or basically anything other than personal aesthetics. Without exception, I would consider all the semi-regular YLF participants to be intelligent (North American or otherwise). Perhaps we are all reacting to this stigma in some way? Why are we not able to simply say "I belong to a great community of women with a common interest in fashion." If the uniting factor was film, cooking or even fishing (wave to Mr. Kristen), I strongly suspect we wouldn't hesitate to openly declare our affiliations.
The other reason I keep my YLF involvement from my family is similar to Maya's; they're all quite paranoid about the publication of personal information online. Their fear isn't without justification, of course, and sometimes I find myself wishing I could make certain content I've posted visible only to other forum members. But overall I don't feel up for the inevitable lectures if my profile and pics ever surfaced. Also, I know I'd have a hard time dealing with the harsh critiques of my more experimental outfits that I know for certain would emerge. My confidence is shaky enough, and this space has been crucial in helping me start rebuilding it. I want it to maintain its positive associations.

16 years ago

marianna

Veteran

One of my worries is that a potential employer may find my pictures on YLF. For example, when I was interviewing at Anthro and asking for Anthro outfit suggestions, I was scared to death that the manager might somehow stumble upon that post. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm not doing anything bad and wanting to look good is healthy and not frivolous or superficial. I like Michelle's thoughts on this topic. In general it seems that any personal internet activity can backfire on you, but I don't see how posting pictures of outfits is a danger. I used to have my photo as my user pic on here but then I changed it out of fear. I have been trying to delete photos off of Photobucket in a more timely manner just in case as well. I trust everyone on YLF but there are obviously tons of lurkers and you have no idea who may see your picture on here -- that's the only part that worries me.

I don't tell my mom that I post pictures on here because of the same reasons Maya stated.

I keep debating about starting a fashion blog of my own, but the fear of posting pictures of myself stops me. I don't want it to harm me or my future in some way. Although, again, I don't think posting outfit pictures is harmful at all. Others who are not involved in YLF may see it in a different light though (like a conservative employer).

16 years ago

Anonymous

This is an interesting topic. I've also kept my involvement here quiet from others, although my husband observes me reading the site and he's grateful that my old long skirts and other frumpy stuff are gone. I would like to post more photos of outfits but feel he disapproves for the same reason as Maya's family. I would do it anyway if we could get them to upload from the camera since he would be in favor of anything promoting closet purging and keeping/buying only the 10's...my argument for posting the pictures. I don't feel that dressing well is shallow since it promotes confidence and self-worth. It doesn't need to be costly.

16 years ago

Carole

Veteran

I'm so glad I posted this, I almost didn't because I was still embarrassed, in fact haven't had the courage to take more pictures until I knew I would have time to process them and erase them before beloved son got ahold of the camera again. I'm such an honest person, probably because I'm not very "quick on my feet", I told him the truth, but wish now I could have just responded like Queenie suggested and said they were just for me to see how my outfits looked. This website has helped me to get out of my fashion rut, and find ways to dress the parts of my body that have been hard for me to figure out before. I'm not giving it up, that's for sure, but I will be much more careful in the future..Thanks everyone for your stories and encouragement..hugs to you all!

16 years ago

Christie

Active Member

I had a moment of embarrassment when our screen saver scrolled through some outfit and hair photos, while extended family was watching. I don't post photos for privacy reasons. I know I miss out on not getting the feedback, though I do learn a lot from those who do post outfits.

I have recommended this blog/forum to IRL friends and family. I think its a treasure.

16 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Very interesting.

Part of me gets your feelings of embarrassment wholeheartedly. But another part of me thinks it’s sad.

16 years ago

Debbie

Veteran

I may be the odd woman out but I don't care who knows. My daugther's know and they have teased me but this is something I enjoy and they will have to get over it. My husband takes the pictures most of the time so he knows. To me it is no different than his obsession with car sites.

I don't believe as an employer a fashion blog is going to cause you a problem. I would impressed if I found out a potenital employee was asking opinions on her interview outfit. What some people inte4rview in makes me do a double take sometimes.

To me this is about self improvement and we should never be embrassed about that.

16 years ago

Maya

Veteran

For me, it's not about what kind of forum this is or anything like that. I am PROUD to be part of such a fab community! Certainly I haven't posted anything I need to be ashamed of. OK, maybe I don't want employers knowing my bra size...but oh well...

I just like to keep my online presence under wraps, and I am very consistent about this. Until Facebook made its latest and most disastrous update yet, I kept my profile under high security. I think I may have to delete it now, unfortunately. I'm giving them a month to amend the situation somehow, but if they don't, I'll have to give it up...which is sad, since it's the only way I can communicate with a lot of my friends who don't live nearby. But I just do not feel comfortable being exposed like this.

That is also why I do not use my first name, since that is what most people IRL refer to me as.

16 years ago

JennyK (NC)

Active Member

So.... my boyfriend sort of knows what I'm doing. He has taken a couple of photos for me and has looked over my shoulder while I've been preparing pics and typing questions here on the forum. I have been purposefully vague, except to make sure he knows I'm not revealing much information about me or him or where I live, etc. I even blur my face in most of the photos.

But something quite embarrassing did happen to me. My 18-year-old son was sitting next to me on the couch while we were Googling something he was interested in. I had several windows open, including Photoshop, in which I had been cropping a photo I'd taken of some tights - tights on my legs. It was the one in this photo:
http://goingungracefully.files.....091218.jpg

So, all he sees is a quick glimpse of his mother's legs in stockings, and his face turned ashen. I was like, "No! No! It's nothing weird!" He just mumbled and wandered away.

I was mortified!! A little while later I started to try to explain by saying, "it's nothing weird! It's a picture for a website I'm on." and he said, "I don't want to know!" What in the world did he think that picture was about?

I started babbling; I was trying to explain as fast as I could. I told him that it was NOT some weird fetish thing and that I take pictures of all of my clothes and accessories so that I can get fashion advice. The more I talked, the worse it seemed to get. Even after I explained and showed him, he was totally creeped out. He can not imagine why I would ask a bunch of strangers what they think of my clothes nor why I would take pictures of myself for the world to see.

So, Carole, my true confession for tonight is that I'm not exactly a laughing stock, but my son thinks I'm running some freaky fetish blog. :-/

16 years ago

Sihaya

Veteran

Carole - I"m sorry that this caused you embarrassment - hopefully it wasn't too painful. Jenny, I had to LOL at your story and having to explain your actions to your son!

I openly tell my friends about YLF, my work with Angie, and what I do on the blog. I even have my clients on the forum and they have checked out my posts. I keep my face concealed and my real name off the forum for a number of reasons but the people who know me more than passingly, know about my YLF "hobby". This can sometimes lead to mean comments but I just let them pass. One time, I don't remember the exact conversation but remember this comment, someone once said to me, "... and this from a woman who needs a professional to help her dress...". People will think and say what they want. I still choose to live my life authentically and don't like to hide things from those who I know. At the same time, this doesn't mean that I have to write a press release about it.

16 years ago

Kari

Veteran

I'm not at all ashamed to be a part of YouLookFab, and I've mentioned to my family that I've even met up a couple times with people I've met on the forum here. However, I haven't publicized the fact that I post pictures of what I wear on a blog. I guess I'm afraid of my actions being misinterpreted as vain or shallow when the reality of the situation is that I'm just trying to learn more about what I like to wear, how to push myself a bit farther, and how to shop/dress more strategically. Receiving helpful, constructive feedback and advice (particularly from the forum) is a BIG help to me.

16 years ago

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