I'm quite open about my YLF obsession. My husband will vouch for how my confidence has increased since posting and I'm happy to spread the YLF word.

I think your son was probably just a little shocked to find your photographs but he will soon get used to the idea.

I'm not at all ashamed about being part of YLF, but I have to say that I don't advertise the fact. My boyfriend and sister know that I'm here a lot, but strangely I don't talk about it to many of my fashion school/industry friends- possibly because I think some of them would be "too cool" to get it, and partly because I'm selfish and like to have something that's just for me (and, uh- all of you).

The whole thing about internet privacy is interesting, and probably a generational thing. I'm slightly more relaxed about it than most people (even people my age), and I actually believe in transparency, rather than anonymity, on the internet. I prefer blogs and sites written by actual people with real names, instead of weird pseudonyms. I don't use my full name here, but it's easy to find on my site. I think of the internet as a marketing tool and place to meet people- why wouldn't I want to be honest? It's not as if I'd ever write about anything I'm ashamed of, so I figure I'm in the clear.

My husband is my resident photographer so he is fully aware of my involvement with YLF. However, he is the only person IRL that knows about my posting of pictures/soliciting feedback. This is not due to the fact that I am trying to hide it from friends/family - the topic has just never come up for discussion. This post has prompted me to think about what I would say if/when I should be "outed".

I think that most of my friends and family would be supportive, as YLF is way for me to continually improve upon myself.

My husband knows about YLF because he's taken my pictures a few times, but he's the only one. I probably wouldn't mention it to most other people, but I'm not terribly embarrassed about it. My friends know I'm neurotic and the idea of me asking for advice about my clothes would make perfect sense to them - LOL!

My husband teases me, but in an affectionate way. He likes that I've found something that interests me.

I think Michelle summed up my thoughts with what she said here (and she said it much more intelligently than I could have)....

.... "Perhaps you won't agree, but I find intelligent North American women are frowned upon if they spend too much time worrying about their appearnace. Collective wisdom suggests they should be focused on less superficial things and ought to be absorbed in world affairs or artistic ventures or basically anything other than personal aesthetics. Without exception, I would consider all the semi-regular YLF participants to be intelligent (North American or otherwise). Perhaps we are all reacting to this stigma in some way? Why are we not able to simply say "I belong to a great community of women with a common interest in fashion." If the uniting factor was film, cooking or even fishing (wave to Mr. Kristen), I strongly suspect we wouldn't hesitate to openly declare our affiliations.".....

You are so right Michelle- when I was homeschooling my kids, I had no trouble with the fact that I visited homeschooling forums, nor do I have any trouble with friends and family knowing that I'm on facebook. But a forum to help me decide which necklace to wear? Something keeps me from being able to fess up about that.... and I think it boils down to the stigma of being viewed as a shallow, self- absorbed mindless housewife.

And, I agree wholehearteldy Michelle, that this forum is filled with the most intelligent, kindhearted, women-- there is not a one of you who I would classify as shallow or self-absorbed. You guys rock- and I have loved the encouragement and inspiration that I have gotten here. You are real down-to-earth women, doing real life who just want to look great in the process!

And... I must add that part of my hesitation is that I know I spend too much time on the computer. That is probably the part I least want to admit- not so much what I'm doing on the computer.
It is just so dang easy to sit down every time I pass the computer to check in with the world (as I call it)

So, having gotten that big confession off my chest, I'm going to sign off and stay away until late afternoon. Deep breath, I know I can do this.....

I'm sorry this happened to you Carole. And I'm sorry for any of you that are ridiculed or made fun of. I don't understand what there is to be embaressed about.
YLF is such a huge part of my life - not just my online life - so it is not separated at all. My husband is fully aware of what I do and he supports me 100%. My sisters also aware of YLF and they wish they had more time to participate. Most of my friends (who aren't Ana and Patience of course) find this idea overwhelming even though they enjoy reading personal fashion blogs and the like.
But even if I were made fun of or accused of being superficial, I wouldn't care. It's not true. This is a fun hobby and being here has greatly improved my self confidence and personal growth.
I have nothing to hide.

This is a really interesting topic. I've been reading YLF for 8 months or so now, but have only posted a few times and have not yet posted a photo of an outfit. I have told other friends about it and sent them the link - particularly the MOTG outfit topics.

I have thoroughly enjoyed all the blog topics and the insightful comments. And you all helped me back in June to prepare for a trip to Seattle (one of the world's greatest cities IMO). I love the fashion ideas and the openness of this forum. I work in a retail clothing store and I see women every day who really want help putting together outfits. Yet so many seem embarassed to ask for that help. I literally had to beg a client to let me see her outfit the other day so I could help her (and she had told me she had trouble dressing up). So, clearly, sharing style tips is a desire and even a need out there. I hate to think that you all who have embraced it so beautifully and gently (there are no nasty comments about outfits here) would be embarassed by it. At worst it's a harmless hobby. And, at YLF, it seems so much more than that.

The other thing is I am so impressed with how you all have become such a community. The gift that you put together for Angie was out of this world. Reading about that brought tears to my eyes. Such an unexpected treat for someone who has helped bring a supportive, fun group of women together. And then there's the OT posts - which prove that this is more than just about clothes. (I'm thinking of posts on depression, weight, jobs, grandparents, etc.) It is about self-esteem, support and friends as well.

As for the photos of yourself - I say be proud of those too! I don't know about the rest of you moms, but I am the chief photographer in our house and I have thousands of pictures of my kids, my husband, our hamster, etc. But to find a picture of myself to put on Facebook I had to hunt and hunt and hunt. That's one of the reasons I've never managed to post an outfit here - little time and little help - I'll have to learn that mirror trick some of you use. And for those of you younger members, in 10 years you'll be glad you have those photos when you have changed your style and your life.

That's my 2+ cents. Now that I remember my password (I actually called my husband to have him look it up so that I could respond to this topic), I'll post more and get more involved. Thank you all for your ideas and your support (albeit to a "lurker.")

Oh! One more thing - I completely agree with Michelle that the women I've read about here are intelligent and caring. Thanks again.

I can to relate to much of what has been said. I told many people about YLF, but not about the forum. First, I would have a heck of a time trying to explain it to most of my friends and family. Second, I completely agree with Michelle's words. I can't make blanket statements about all other cultures, but at least where I grew up, most women regardless of their profession, social status, etc. were interested in the subject and there wasn't any negative judgment associated with it.
Third - I am quite uptight about privacy due in part to my upbringing and I wouldn't have ever expected to get this far... that's just the power of YLF community! I would probably feel slightly more at ease about it if Angie weren't local. I also realize that to have the fullest experience I have to relax my privacy standards. Perhaps some day.
ROFL @Mr.Kristen!

Thanks to those for spreading the YLF word. That’s means a lot to us. Hugs to all of you! You made my day.

There is a difference between the blog and the forum, though. Spreading the word about the blog, (and we’d REALLY appreciate it if you did that!), is very different to spreading the word about the forum. There are countless readers who focus on the blog posts only and ignore the forum.

Stylemama, nice to see you comment.

Aren’t cultural differences interesting. One of the things that I am most thankful for in life is having lived in four vastly different cultures: European, African, Asian and American. It has shaped and enriched my perspective on life, especially as I get older. I am still learning about American culture each day :0)

I'm so sorry to hear that some of you ladies have had embarrassing experiences over what is such a fun and harmless activity!

I admit that I've been reluctant to post pictures on the off-chance that someone from "real life" might find them. I agree with Michelle that there's a definite stigma in North America associated with being too concerned with fashion- especially for smart, professional women. I worry that someone from my professional world (I'm an unemployed attorney) might find pictures and that I will be taken less seriously, or worse, not considered for a job because of it. Is fashion really "important?" Well, no, it's not, not in the broader scheme of things, but it is fun, and it is a way of caring for oneself and improving one's confidence, and conveying certain things that we'd like to convey. So it has its place.

For me, this is but one aspect of my secret life on the interwebs- and I spend an equal if not greater amount of time on nutrition and natural healing blogs, not to mention conspiracy and survivalist websites, and I'm sure you ladies also have other interests and hobbies that run deeper than fashion. For anyone who asks, I think all you have to say is- "it's fun for me, and I get good advice on what to wear." Anyone who pushes it further than that, or makes fun of you has their own issues, and shame on them!

All these replies are absolutely fascinating!
Angie, I agree with you 100 per cent; it is sad that many women are made to feel ashamed of their love of fashion. Like many here, I feel that fashion is important as a means of communication and self-expression, not to mention a tool that can immeasurably boost self-confidence. Ideally, people should feel free to talk about their attempts to improve their style and appearance. Most feel no reluctance to discuss their efforts to improve their minds through education or projects meant to hone their skills in a certain area. This forum is a place where we are all mastering the art of projecting a desired self-image while enjoying the cyber-companionship of stimulating, supportive and like-minded people. But it seems that's not the way a lot of others would see it. I'm blown away by the double-standard that dictates people must look their best at all times while condemning them for trying too hard to achieve that goal. The supposedly-pragmatic people who slag women for caring about their clothes should also bare in mind that fashion is big business and a major economic driver in parts of the world; hardly a passing fad that's beneath their notice. I think what I'm getting at here, though, is that people aren't concerned about their participation in the forum so much as the way their love of fashion will be perceived by others. I feel confident saying most of us are proud to be associated with such an incredible group.

Carole and Jenny, I feel awful about the experiences you've had, and I sincerely hope these replies have helped.

Honestly, this is a wonderful community and meeting some of the women in person, including Angie, has only added to the experience and made it more real. That the relationships made here on the forum translate into real life has made me much more open about YLF.

Posting here isn't anything to be ashamed of, and if you are ashamed of it or feel guilty, then change what you're doing, you know? I could care less if people criticize me for liking fashion, and honestly, I don't think any of my real friends would say such a thing. Likewise, I only dress to please myself and could care less if I'm the only mom in a dress when everyone else is in jeans and North Face fleece tops. It's very freeing to get to this point and I highly recommend it!

I don't hide the fact that I'm on YLF from people I know in real life and sometimes I recommend it to people when fashion topics come up. A lot of people I know at school read my blog (girls and guys too, surprisingly). I get a little ribbing from time to time, but it's meant in good fun, nobody has ever tried to make me feel embarrassed about what I spend my free time doing. I know it's actually created a kind of solidarity amongst some of the girls in my group of "math buddies," they feel more confident dressing up if they feel like it, despite what others might say. I feel very strongly that unless I really know someone and respect their opinion, I couldn't care less whether they approve of my free-time activities and wardrobe choices or not. If a stranger or acquaintance were to make a snide comment about something I'd just shrug it off without a second thought. Why would I give someone like that power over me and how I felt about myself? If it's someone I am close to, then it's just bad manners on their part, and they need to be set straight. I've had friends in the past that made remarks about me in the express purpose of making me feel badly about myself. I had to cut them loose. Sorry, I don't have time for miserable energy vampires.

I totally agree with Michelle about the expectations of "intelligent, worthwhile" women in our society. I read romance novels, and a lot of the same points being brought up in this thread are the same way romance readers feel. There's a stereotype that women who read that genre are not intelligent (amongst a whole other list of offensive characteristics). If I want to sit there in the middle of the math student lounge in my pencil skirt and high heels reading something like, "The Captain of All Pleasures," well that's my business. And if someone has a problem with that they're just not worth my time, sorry.

Sorry for the rant, this subject really ticks me off. I just don't understand the need to make others feel badly about themselves (or feel they have to hide their hobbies). It's insecurity, and I can smell it a mile away. It drives me up the wall.

'miserable energy vampires' - Ana, you're a riot. Great post, or as we say on another form POTD (post of the day) to you!

Whilst I agree that that the blog and the forum are different entities, I am well aware that by recommending the blog I increase the chance of the real world stumbling across my posts.

I'm quite an open book, my friends would not be in the least bit surprised by my comments because it is how we also pass the time.

Whether real or cyber, people are people and deserve the same levels of respect and kindness.

I just wanted to reiterate that I'm not at all ashamed of being a part of YLF. But the thought that someone I know IRL may stumble upon my pictures does cross my mind from time to time. It's probably my own insecurity with myself, as Laura described so well.

Truth be told, after my Maxxinista winning post, and my guest blog post, I felt sort of like a internet celebrity and I was almost hoping that someone would recognize me.

This is a great community, the BEST internet community I have ever been a part of. This is the only place I post my pictures, so I obviously feel very comfortable here.

Yay Marianna! BTW, I have stopped in twice to Anthro, hoping randomly to meet you IRL. I'll keep trying!

Hee, I stopped at Anthro looking for you too! You are OUR internet celebrity!

I have loved reading everyones take on this situation, and I hope I didn't give the impression that I was embarrassed about being interested in this website or forum, I am not. I was embarrassed about the pictures mostly, they were my very first posts, and not very flattering. I'm a rather shy, sensitive sort that doesn't like to be the center of attention. If I had tons of confidence and was self assured about my style and fashion choices I probably would never have found this site in the first place My son is 23 years old and just a big jokester, a very sweet person and very sensitive and would feel terrible if he knew I was bothered. I just laughed along with him so that I wouldn't make it a big deal. My age (52) might have something to do with the fact that it seems strange for him that his mother would be "blogging" although if he spent a few minutes exploring it, I think he would appreciate it's value. I have a college age daughter as well and she has noticed and appreciated my new sense of style. I have told her how much I have learned from this site and have shared with her ideas I've learned for her as well, she is very supportive. Another reason I just jumped into this was to stay up with the whole internet progression, I didn't really even know about "blogs" until this site and as far as posting pictures, I still can't believe I figured that out without the help of my kids! Yeah for me!

I'm late to this party, but knowing Carole's age made me proud of her - for fashion AND technology.

As another 50-something, it's my other mid-aged friends who I share this website with. When I realize we could have been stuck in a fashion rut for DECADES, or think about how many fashion trends/cycles/etc. we've been through - its no wonder we need some guidance these days! Angie's guidance and the YLF ladies are definitely the best.

Keep it up, Carole!!

Laura & Kristen -- Anthro let go all of the seasonal hires until March. You can start looking for me again in a few months.

Michelle, I love your brain:

“I'm blown away by the double-standard that dictates people must look their best at all times while condemning them for trying too hard to achieve that goal”.

This was *such* an astute statement, I could cry.

Laura, Debbie, Sarah, Kristen and Julie, I love your no-nonsense and uncomplicated attitude. It’s really, really fab.

Ana, you crack me up: “miserable energy vampires”. Adore you.

Marianna, you are a total internet celebrity. I am crowning you YLF royalty.

Carol, hope you feel better. Sara, thanks for the encouragement.

I can so identify with the statement that as sophisticated American women we are to look good without putting any effort into it. As an itinerant teacher I once figured out that I probably come in contact with about 500 people a week. I don’t talk to all of them but I am visually around them. So I have to make a good impression. Since I have been following Angie's advice for almost a year now people have noticed. People that never talked to me before make comments on my outfits. So I figure Angie knows what she is talking about. Taking the photos of my outfits really gives me a new 'eye' as to what is working. I'm having fun doing all of this and when I tell some of my colleagues what I am doing some snicker. The upshot is several have called me and asked me to come and help them put together outfits... That is probably the best compliment of all. So let them eat their words the nay sayers because they are probably really jealous of how good all of us forum members are looking these days!

Angie - Ha! I'm quite flattered.

Adrienne, what a lovely comment. Thank you.

How is the diet going Princess Marianna?

Queen Angie,

The diet is going very well! I am looking forward to weighing in on Monday and hopefully seeing a good loss! I have eaten more salads and veggies this week than I have in a long time.

*chuckle*

Brilliant. You are on a roll! Your carriage awaits you.