I'm not one to ask for help and advice on non-related fashion issues, because , well, just because. BUT, I have a situation I am unable to figure out on my own or with my husband (reason why to follow) and posting on Facebook would be inappropriate . So, here goes:

My husband lost his best friend of 55 years in October 2022. G died at age 61, less than a year after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer .  DH and G were beyond close; they were brothers at heart  .  Our two families (G, wife J and their two children and DH, DD and I) did everything together when the kids were young: Christmas, birthdays, summer fun, winter events, dinner parties, pool parties etc etc).  When the kids became teens, this stopped and the 4 of us continued on socializing maybe 4-5 times a year. DH and G did a lot more together and maintained their friendship outside of our 4some - they played tennis together, went to CFL games, , NHL games ,the gym, and were planning to spend their days playing pickle ball and going for coffee as two "retired guys".  They would talk /text almost daily. 

G's wife J and I , despite the amount of time we spent together , were never close personally.  We never saw each other outside of the family or group events, and didn't text/email etc each other at all.  Just not the same type of person and didn't have a ton in common.  She moved here from Britain when she married G  .  Just different lives and attitudes (a lot of it cultural I think ) .  When G was ill though, I was right by her side for the first part and kept up a constant flow of communication and help.  Then when G died , the connection was dramatically severed.  Nothing .  We did everything we knew how to do: made and brought over food (left on the doorstep - not answering the door).  Offering to do things for her like yard work etc.  Sent messages of love and support.  There was no funeral, no obituary, until a Celebration of Life that took place 3 weeks later.  And that event felt like the first 30 years of G's life didn't exist. It was all about J and her kids. Which I get, but......  DH was utterly devastated and felt so unmoored. No closure.  And I haven't had a reply to any form of communication to her since that date (late October).  

She doesn't acknowledge my texts or calls .    I don't know what to do, or what to make of this.  I don't think I'm making it about me and needing to be acknowledged . I worry that I'm not doing anything, or not doing the right thing and it's worrying me more and more each day. DH says to leave it alone.  I cannot even IMAGINE the grief and depression that she must be carrying . She's gone back to work and her kids (now in their 20's) are continuing on with their work and school lives.  Is this how it goes when the friendship wasn't between us but between the men?  I don’t intuitively know what she needs . Or wants from friends . Should I push more or back right off ? Is her silence telling me that she doesn’t want anything from us ?

Any thoughts or experiences you might have that you feel like sharing would be SO appreciated.

L.