I need serious help with this wedding outfit thing - YouLookFab Forum

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I need serious help with this wedding outfit thing

Robin

Okay, I need serious help for this wedding outfit. I can't do this on my own.

Shopping was a bust today! Basically, I'm heavier in the stomach than I thought I was. (Some of that was probably water retention, which is now resolving itself, but, the fact remains....)

Most of the dresses didn't fit me around the waist/stomach. When I sized up to those that would, the top was too big around my small shoulders.

One fit-and-flare dress could have worked if it had been available in a larger size.

So, I gave up for today (was exhausted and discouraged) but need to go back in a few days.

This wedding is really important to me, so I'd rather not have to wear a tent (literal or figurative).

I'm thinking that a flowy tunic and skirt combo might be the best way to go right now. I might have a skirt that would work (need to check. Am also open to other ideas. I'd rather not invest too much money in this, as I need to get some things straightened out with my body.

So, knowing that Nordstrum is having a sale, that I also have too many other stores to count available to me, would anyone be willing to make specific suggestions? I'll roam through YLF for ideas, but I'm still getting the lay of the land here.

Quick recap from my intro: petite, apple body type, most colours work superbly (except pastels), no stripes.

P.S. Hope I'm not being too demanding for having just gotten here. I usually like to get more of a feel for forums before asking for help, but desperate times....

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31 replies

Latest reply was from Robin

crutcher

Veteran

Robin ,You have certainly come to the right place for help...I can give you what is off the top of my head after reading your post... First, do you have a NOrdstromin driving distance?...I would go to a B&M store to shop...If this is not possible and you have to shop online, I would start with Eileen Fisher and check out the tops there (as possible additions to your skirt)...Posting a picture would help the ladies here to give some suggestions...Glad you posted and I wish happy finding your special dres.s..

Anonymous

I feel for you. Last year (at about this time) I was invited the "wedding the century." The daughter of one of my best friends was getting married and the wedding was a huge event in my circle. I started shopping weeks prior to the wedding. I shopped every single weekend from the minute the stores opened until they closed. I tried on countless dresses/shoes. I was literally unable to make a decision. I finally bought an entirely new outfit. Everything was new (dress, underpinnings, shoes, jewelry). This doesn't sound like a lot, but it was a huge financial expenditure for an outfit I would only wear once.

The reason I am sharing this story is I am trying to advise you to not do what I did. First, I would go through my wardrobe and see if there is anything that I could possibly make work. I had a few things, but "none of them seemed good enough." In retrospect, that was stupid.

Second, if possible, I would not shop in a panic. This is certainly a recipe for disaster (if you are anything like me). Are there any consignment stores you can try?

I bought my dress from Ann Taylor. It was a classic sleeveless sheath dress in bright fuchsia. I am most comfortable in classic. I bought my jewelry (pearls), underpinnings, and shoes from Nordstorm.

Liz

Veteran

Since I just saw on your other thread that the wedding is in two weeks and you have to travel in 10 days, I would stick with brick and mortar, rather than trying to order dresses; that's would cut the time frame really tight.

You're in Seattle, right? Maybe some of our Seattle forum members could help with store recommendations.

chadya

Veteran

can you use a Personnal shopper at one of the Dept stores to do all the work for you?

shiny

Veteran

I'm petite/apple but with broad shoulders & a chest (basically inverted triangle with an apple belly). So this may not help but it's worth trying Ralph Lauren, if you haven't already. RL is like a miracle dress for me -- the dresses have some strategic ruching in the belly area. Also the material is stretchy and forgiving. I now have, I dunno, 6 or 7 RL dresses in my closet?? Give it a try!

shiny

Veteran

If you have delicate shoulders this may work great on you:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/la.....78?origin=...

If Nordstrom's doesn't have your size, try Macy's... Macy's usually carries a ton of RL dresses.

shiny

Veteran

I just read your introduction post. I see that, like me, you are a hip-less wonder, and also that you like comfortable clothes. I am just a bit taller than you at 5 feet.

I suspect RL dresses will be just the ticket for you.... also they come in a wide array of bright colors.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

We will help you find a dress. Don't worry. Is there any way you can post a picture, Robin? That will help us make more accurate suggestions.

You are after a silhouette that floats away from the mid section. Have you tried shift dresses and cocoon styles? And Shiny's suggestion is a good one too. You'll need them in a petite, but Nordstrom will alter for you too.

Try styles by Adrianna Papell and Tadadshi Shoji.

Robin

Thanks for the generous outpouring of support.

Yes, I have a Nordstrum close by (that's where I went yesterday) and yes, I'm definitely going the brick-and mortar route right now. Buying online would just be an invitation for disaster given my time limits.

Fortunately, I have tons of jewelry, so accessorizing for whatever I end up buying won't be a problem. Shoes...well, there's a bit of a shoe crisis that I don't even want to think about right now (misplaced favourite, and new, pair of dressy sandals) but I bought a new pair I can use anyway.

Yes, I definitely need something that floats away from my midsection. Sadly, most of the dresses we saw at Nordstrum yesterday were sheaths with totally straight lines, hence why I'm thinking a top and skirt.

I'd also really like to get something I can wear again, which is why I'm thinking two pieces rather than a dress.

Will see if I can find a link to the skirt I have.

I don't think I'm able to post pictures yet, am I? Plus, I don't think I have anything that would show enough of me, and I haven't figured out yet how to take pictures of myself.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Robin, here's a dress that you might try. Dashielle looked amazing in it, and I believe she has a similar figure to what you are describing. At any rate, I think it would look great, as it floats away from the waist and highlights a lovely delicate shoulder:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ei.....nline-only...
The link and Find is from Nordstrom, which lists it as an "online only" item, but I believe Dashielle tried it on at Eileen Fisher, which is roughly across the street from Nordstrom downtown.

It's an investment, but it's also a dress that you could wear anywhere, really, layering over and possibly under it, wearing it with leggings or over pants.

Eileen Fisher Layered Asymmetrical Silk Dress (Regular & Petite) (Online Only)

$378.00 $132.30

Sale

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Michelle

(website)

Veteran

Robina,
I'm going to take a flyer on recommending something for you. I'm doing this for two reasons. One is just because I want to help, but the other is an attempt to demonstrate that this stuff will come easier eventually, even for blindguys like us. Of course, the ladies here could weigh in to tell me that the style I'm about to link to is utterly hideous, in which case...sorry about that. But I'm showing you this one based on the details you've shared.
A style like this would be formal enough for Sara's wedding, cut in such a way to flatter apple proportions, featuure other desirable traits highlighted by Angie's apple-dressing guidelines, and also have some of the boho elements that just might make you feel a little leess out of your comfort zone.
Here goes. I'm thinking the azalea, which I believe would be an attractive pink shade. Ladies, please set me straight on any of the above:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ad.....tite/40392...

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Michelle, the link didn't work for me, and I'm dying to see what you recommended. Is it an Adrianna Papell dress? This one, perhaps?
(I searched for "dress azalea"). I think it would be super fabulous! I like the boho element with the slight bell-shaped sleeves and the not-too-delicate lace pattern that looks dressy but could also be dressed down with flat sandals or ballet flats. What a gorgeous, vivid pink hue, too.

Adrianna Papell Floral Lace Bell Sleeve Shift Dress (Regular & Petite)

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Robin

thanks for all the fabulous suggestions. I'm having a bad period day (won't bore you with my menstrual woes) so I'm not making any decisions today!

Wondered what you folks think of this. Is it actually drapey as it claims? Not formal enough for a wedding? (This wedding is not uber-formal, though is traditional.)

Whatever I wear can be dressed up with fine jewelry, delicate gold necklaces, elegant pendants, etc.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ei.....te/3259691??cm_ven=Lin...Your reply

annabelle

Veteran

I love that azalea dress, and the ideas of Ralph Lauren, Eileen Fisher, Adrianna Papell and Tadadshi Shoji. I'm posting a find of an online only dress that wouldn't get to you fast enough, but to offer you a silhouette that works for me as an apple. It has elastic at the waistline and a more blousey silhouette on top. My other apple trick is a silk Burning Torch dress that has some ruching and draping over the waistline, and again, has a slimmer skirt. (We gotta sell those legs, Aniston arms, collarbone, whatnot.)

I generally end up in separates, specifically a narrowish pencil skirt, or something with a little more movement, heels, and a boxy longerish top. If you followed "our" typical apple formula but bought it in more luxe fabrications, you will fit right in at a wedding setting.

Another tip from my opinion bank - simple cuts, and tone on tone layering are classic and they tend to look more luxurious than they cost. Eileen Fisher is probably a great idea for simple separates, if that is in your price range.

Gestuz Elda Dress in Mesh

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Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Yes, the Eileen Fisher dress could work, dressed up with your heeled sandals, some fab earrings, sparkly bag, and perhaps a bracelet. It is a rayon jersey knit, so it will be drapey, and for me, much of the appeal of Eileen Fisher clothing is the wonderful fabrics used. A rayon knit is not the most formal fabric, but I believe Michelle has chosen a dress of a similar fabric to wear to a wedding (maybe the same one?), and we deemed it very appropriate. The one you linked to is a gorgeous bright blue, a great color for summer.

Summer

Veteran

Robin, the dress you have linked to looks very promising to me. The colour is a beautiful blue, the shape should work very well for you, and it is a lovely simple style that you can accessorise for many occasions. It's definitely worth a try.

The azalea dress that Firecracker referred to is also gorgeous. It's much dressier, though, so could only be worn for more formal events.

Are you a similar shape to Michelle? If you are, I think you could go with something along the same lines as her dress.

I hope you will be able to post some pictures soon, as we can then give you more specific feedback. Good luck with the hunt.

Karie

(website)

Veteran

I really like all of the suggestions here! As for the fit and flare that you tried but it was too small, can the store get a larger size in for you? They might be able to send it from another store right to your house.

Have you considered a sheath dress? A pair of Spanx can work wonders for any belly issues. Also, a dress with ruching also works wonders. I own the two Loft fit and flares in my finds and they hide belly issues without Spanx The way the model is posing in the black and floral one makes it look twee but it really isn't. The Halogen midi skirt is gorgeous and I wish I owned it (I hesitated and missed out) but if you click on the link it is available in other colors.

And I know, I know, whenever you're looking for a dress you can never find one. Last year I needed one for a wedding and of course I had issues finding something. This year I wasn't looking for any dressy dresses and found three!

Lauren Ralph Lauren Ruffled Boatneck Jersey Dress

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0

Eileen Fisher Scoop Neck Racerback Knit Dress (Regular & Petite)

$218.00 $129.97

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CHETTA B Ombre Floral Sheath Dress

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Gladiola-Print Sateen Dress

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Impressionist Floral Fit-And-Flare Dress

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Halogen Pleat Midi Skirt (Regular & Petite)

Sale

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Robin

Summer:

Michelle and I were just talking the other day about how our shapes couldn't be more different. She's a tall hourglass; I'm a short apple.

Annabelle: What great suggestions. Thanks. A skirt with a little movement and a long top are exactly what I had in mind for separates.

Thanks all for the feedback on the jersey knit dress I linked to. For dressing it up: sadly, heels are never an option for me, but I have lovely jewelry and can get a pretty bag. Will try it, I think, though the idea of trying on more dresses. Friday was pretty dreadful! (Reminder to self: Don't try on dresses when bloated!)

Your reply

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

Sharon: Yeah, that's precisely the dress I was thinking of. So glad my streak of successful online evaluations can live another day!
Robin: the Eileen Fisher dress you linked to sounds like it could have promise, and certainly it would be a fabulous day dress. I would just want to know how successfully it would drape given the lack of lining under the traditionally clingy jersey fabric. If there's a label that can make that work, though, it's EF. And certainly the price is amazing for that label. It's worth a try if nothing else. Other forum members should know, however, that glamming outfits up with heels is problematic in Robin's case for a host of reasons. Since flats are in the cards no matter what, my personal inclination would be to go for the more formal dress and let it do the talking.
Summer: Actually Robin and I couldn't possibly be more different in terms of shape. Basically if it works on me, it probably won't for her. :p The fabric of the dress I wound up choosing for this same wedding is actually a very very fine mesh with a self-colour lining, so I think there Sharon: Yeah, that's precisely the dress I was thinking of. So glad my streak of successful online evaluations can live another day!
Robin: the Eileen Fisher dress you linked to sounds like it could have promise, and certainly it would be a fabulous day dress. I would just want to know how successfully it would drape given the lack of lining under the traditionally clingy jersey fabric. If there's a label that can make that work, though, it's EF. And certainly the price is amazing for that label. It's worth a try if nothing else. Other forum members should know, however, that glamming outfits up with heels is problematic in Robin's case for a host of reasons. Since flats are in the cards no matter what, my personal inclination would be to go for the more formal dress and let it do the talking.
Summer: Actually Robin and I couldn't possibly be more different in terms of shape. Basically if it works on me, it probably won't for her. :p The fabric of the dress I wound up choosing for this same wedding is actually a very very fine mesh with a self-colour lining, so I think there are differences there too.

are differences there too.

Vix

Veteran

Hi Robin --

Welcome to the forum!

Sorry about your striking out with your shopping for a wedding guest outfit. BTDT, resolve never again to shop with raging hormones, forgot rule, wish I hadn't etc. I'm sure things will go more smoothly from here on out!

Between this and you other post what I know is:
* very petite (under 5')
* open to most colors other than pastels
* comfortable/flow-y preferences
* no heels (new pair of new shoes waiting)
* lots of great jewelry on standby
* desire to flatter apple shape
* don't want to invest a ton
* attending same wedding as Michelle, who's wearing a gorgeous deep blue-green

...and I got to thinking about you and Rent the Runway aka rent-a-dress.

Downside: no alterations other than the fashion tape they include. This is a big one for petites, I know!

Upsides: ability to filter dresses by body shape, age, occasion, length etc; loan of expensive dress for not much money; 2 sizes of same dress sent for free with order; no charge if dress choices don't fit and you return within 24 hours; lots of fit notes, and from what I read great customer service and a super-easy return set-up.

Plus kind of like YLF -- lots of photos of real-life women who give their stats wearing a given dress. [If I follow correctly you'd need some help analyzing them given your vision?]

I only looked briefly, but being the boho contrarian that I am I wonder about this one-shouldered grecian jersey dress for you, which comes in a pink-coral and an almost identical deep teal that would be awesome but perhaps too twins-y with Michelle.

Pink-coral, rents for $30 (4-day rental): https://www.renttherunway.com/.....twistdress

Deep teal, rents for $40 (4-day rental): https://www.renttherunway.com/.....dreamdress

(**note to others, reviews state stock photos don't represent colors well**)

The dress leaves one shoulder bare and surrounds the other one with fluttery fabric. It's waistless, and drapes on the diagonal in the front and above the waist in the back. It got raves from a variety of bod types, including women who were self-conscious about their middles.

I have no idea how long it would be on you as it looked different on every 5'1 woman I saw. And all the taller ones, too. But maybe just below the knee on you? Some of the more petite women mentioned being worried about the amount of material before they tried the dress on, but most ended up happy (and they looked it!).

If the idea of Rent the Runway appeals at all, I might get on the phone with the CS team and see what they suggest. If they could send a few dresses out and you send them back right away (unworn) then reserve any winner for the occasion it might save you a lot of time and wear and tear in the long run!

Good luck!

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SarahTheWhite

Veteran

Welcome, Robin! I don't have anything helpful to add, I just wanted to say hi and that I'm glad you are here. I just looked at the links Vix posted for you and that dress is amazing! It looks a little too short to my eye on some of the women, so on you it would probably be perfect! Also the asymetrical lines and floaty fabric would be wonderfully camouflaging in the tummy area. I think that I read that you have the shoes all sorted out, but if not, one of the women wearing this dress had on metallic cage sandals with it and it looked really great with the dress. Hers may have been heels (hard to tell) but flats would work just as well in that style.

I also liked the link to the dress you shared. It could be either casual or dressed up, depending on the accessories you pair it with. I love a good simple dress for just that reason!

Anyway, I mostly just wanted to say good luck! I'm sure that this will be a wonderful time for you and Michelle, and I have no doubt that you both will look beautiful! I'm so glad you are now part of YLF. We are happy to have you!

Robin

Finally, success (and a much lighter bank account)! Went to a different department in Nordstrum today, had a lovely customer service person helping us, and tried on styles that suit, even flatter, my body.

Still no pictures, but I promise I'll have some when I'm all dressed up for the wedding.

Ended up getting two dresses, because I liked them both and they'll serve me well.

For the wedding, I confess to splurging. Take a look:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ei.....ss/3657425

(No, it wasn't on sale - loved the dress so much I didn't even ask about the price until I'd had the alterations pinned!) :p

The colour I got was described to me as teal.

The small is absolutely perfect on my body! The tailor just needs to put a couple of darts in on either side of the bust to eliminate gapping. There's a little bit of creasing in the fabric over my upper abdomen (that area pouches out, and also has a long indented horizontal scar) but, after trying one on, I opted not to get a foundation garment. I decided no one would be looking at my mid-riff! :p

And, I decided to get this one too!

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ei.....te/3259691??cm_ven=Lin...

The colour was described to me as plum - not sure which colour name that one is.

This is a super comfy, loose-fitting dress. the small was actually a little boxy on me, but that was easily fixed with a stretchy black Ralph Lauren belt.

I'd only set out to get one dress, but both of these spoke to me. It feels indulgent because I don't wear dresses very often, but, well, I love them, and I'll just try to shop sales for the rest of the summer.

Regarding accessories: I'll wear gold jewelry (whatever necklace I have that works with the v-neck, and my engagement and wedding rings) and someone has offered to lend me a sparkly black evening bag.

Thanks again everyone for all your help. The support and ideas really helped me think more broadly about putting outfits together.
Your reply

Sal

Veteran

I think those dresses are both stunning Robin, and they look so comfortable and flowing. You will look great.

It sounds like you came upon a sales person who really understood your needs, that is wonderful.

missvee

Veteran

Great choices. The teal one is just outstanding and will be a super dress for the wedding. You're going to look wonderful!

Anonymous

Wow. The dresses you selected are gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous.

Greyscale

Veteran

What beautiful dresses! And both are so classic and versatile. Well done.

I bet you'll start wearing dresses more often if you have those options in your closet.

SarahTheWhite

Veteran

Beautiful choices! I think that they are both gorgeous - the colors and the styles... I'm so glad this shopping experience was better! I can't wait to see the photos of you at the wedding. I hope you have a wonderful time.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Oh, wow. Both of those are beautiful choices, Robin. I'm especially taken with the teal silk one. Those points on the hem, the gentle shaping at the waist, and the beautiful fabric will be so flattering and lovely. Congratulations!!

Summer

Veteran

That's wonderful, Robin. Both dresses are beautiful, both in colour and style, and, since you love them and feel comfortable in them, you are sure to find more occasions to wear them. Panic over!

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