Lisa, I can tell that you’ve made a lot of mental progress from the original post til now. Just like being realistic about your current life and activities, I had to learn that my favorite aspirational style and my body were not congruent. Although I sometimes feel sad about it, I move on with what actually works.

I don’t agree with getting rid of everything that isn’t a “Heck Yes”. One reason is that everyone’s criteria for heck yes is different. It takes a lot for me to be that excited about something. Second, I like most of my clothes, they work for me and the more basic items are needed to support my star pieces. Are the support acts heck yes pieces to me? Not necessarily. Do I have the budget to replace my $50-$60 on sale basic well fitting black pants with $500 dollar ones that have a special detail I like? Heck no.

Also, can you consign some of the items that you are thinking of eliminating from your wardrobe? Some extra money never hurts.

Good luck!

I agree with Barbara Diane that sometimes in the desire to keep only the hell yes pieces, we can be too brutal on what we already have, not always knowing the potential. That’s why I suggested some try-on sessions to see not only what possibilities there are in your favorite pieces, but also how the less-favorite items can be supporting acts to help finish an outfit. I’m not talking about items that clearly have a fit or style issue you dislike, but those items that seem maybe a bit boring on their own.

I support your efforts fully and want to hear how it all goes! But I am a little nervous about huge sweeping closet edits that are based on frustration.

I have been sort of low-key looking at some of my closet items thinking along the lines of, “when will I want to wear *this* instead of *that* (similar item I like so much more)?” A couple of things have already found their way to the donation bag with that question because I have no good answer!

This thread has been such a great read. Sounds like you have a plan for today, hope it goes well and that you keep us updated.

I have similar feelings but I have never put the effort into figuring out a solution. Aging, body changes, etc have all created a vague dissatisfaction and distrust of my instincts, leading me to feel frumpy (for lack of a better word) much of the time with a full wardrobe but nothing to wear. Good food for thought.

Robin, it sounds like you and I are experiencing the very same things right now. Again, while lying in bed last night (where I do my best thinking), I realized - DUH - that a wardrobe is a metaphor for life , and that you can't move forward with any clarity when you are still stuck in the past and overwhelmed with clutter. Literally and figuratively.

As to consigning : doing some very basic math , the answer is "not a financially sensible option". The cost of dry cleaning say 4-5 blazers , dropping off and picking them up ( I can pretty much only do this on a weekend ), booking an appt at the consignment store and hoping they will take them - it's a lot of time and money that might not be recouped. Dry-cleaning alone would likely eat up anything I'd make from selling them. I'm trying to be very practical and efficient about this project.

And Janet - yes, a ruthless edit borne out of frustration is dicey, however, I've done what I thought were thorough edits and it accomplished nothing. So - it's all or nothing now. I have made a list of my basic non-work wardrobe requirements, and anything not one it is up for donation. What I keep won't necessarily be all "hell yes" pieces, but that's ok as long as they fit the criteria. I think I'll make a separate post of what my new wardrobe list looks like, and the results of the cleanse

Oh ,and, not to ignore the lovely suggestions that I work with Angie on this project....I just wasn't sure what to say to that. This is a project that I'll have to do alone - cost and logistics are the main reason

*rubs hands together with excitement*

LJP, I'm sitting on your shoulder as you do this magnificent MAJOR edit!

BE RUTHLESS, which I do not say lightly at all.

Good luck

Lol Angie!! You definitely gave me my laugh for the day! I’m hearing yoda, “do or do not, there is to try” and bag ‘um up, get them out, way out!!! I definitely to debride with your ruthlessness!!

I know I'm not "here" very often these days. It's because I'm so busy on other hobbies I suppose. But I feel your frustration. Songwriting and music has become nearly a full time pursuit for me in the past couple of years and writing a new group of songs is not so dissimilar as choosing a wardrobe. It takes work to find the right combination. Instead of the "look and feel" it is the "story, sound and feel" of course, but still it's a reasonable comparison in terms of enjoyment combined with a lot of frustration trying to put all the pieces together. Just like when you wear an outfit, when you sing a song it's nice for people to like it.

I can so relate, LJP. I have been a member of YouLookFab for a number of years, but sometimes feel like such a newbie. My issue is that I don’t always know what I like and also what I like can change from day to day. Sometimes when I shop, I really try to pay attention to what I’m trying on, how it makes me feel, how it will work with my existing wardrobe, I try to think of everything! Then I bring the item home, try it on, and feel completely different about it. What happened in that short span of time lol?? Anyway, I think our issues are different, but I wanted to thank you for your post. I am enjoying reading responses and I don’t feel alone.

Hmmmm....I have so much to say here about my own experience! I feel like I've always been trying to feel fab and only sometimes achieving my goals. In the past few months, so very recently!, I think I'm finally starting to get the hang of it.

First, for me, I have to calm the F down, IFYKWIM. Like, relax. I realized that a large part of my confusion here is because I ACTUALLY AM NOT SURE WHAT I LIKE. I'm not (yet) someone who can walk in to my closet and be inspired by what I see. What do I feel like wearing today? Is not a question I can always answer. I'm working on slowing down and really trying to feel myself and what I WANT and LIKE. Not on others (although being inspired by others is good) but ON ME.

I haven't had time, but I think playing around in your closet and trying different things and really getting a sense of what feels right for your personal style is the way to go. I also have a few items that, like, look fine in theory but I felt like they just weren't for me when I wore them (even though they fit and looked perfectly fine). When that happens they go straight to the donate pile. If I have pieces that I subconsciously react to in a negative way, I donate them.

Shopping is still a bit of a mess, because I don't know if I'll love an piece till I've gotten to know it and introduced it into the "closet ecosystem". But I think my intuition is getting better as I edit more authentically.

TL;DR

Focus on what gives you that thrill; style is a sensory experience. Slow down and enjoy the process; don't dwell on closet or dressing mistakes. Focus on the successes.

Well this thread just keeps on giving! The image as Angie as Yoda on your shoulder rubbing her hands together and encouraging you is just delightful. Thank you gryffin!

I'm very excited for you and can't wait to hear how it all goes. My closet is stuffed with many items that just aren't " quite right" but I don't seem to able to be ruthless about passing them on.
wishing you lots of luck

I have to admit I didn’t understand the yoda reference , at all . Lol- I’m not much of a Star Wars ( is that right ?) fan . As in , maybe I’ve seen one movie ?