I am laughing at myself - YouLookFab Forum

I had always heard that you could tell how big of an arsehole somebody was by listening to their starbucks order. The longer the order, the bigger an arse the person is. Like, you know who I'm talking about: that person who orders a half caff, half decaf triple grande latte with half almond milk, half coconut milk, with exactly 3 pumps of caramel sauce, vanilla syrup, whipped cream, 4 spoons of sugar, and cinnamon dusted on the whipped cream.
Me, I'm a triple grande breve caramel macchiato, leave it layered DO NOT stir or mix it.

On this thread about styling white boots
https://youlookfab.com/welookf.....hite-boots
I started my comment with this little gem: "I have a pair of creamy beige lace up platform wedge boots"

I actually had to stop myself from my full description or them that reads more like this
I have a pair of creamy beige lace up platform wedge high shaft ankle boots
I realized I was sounding like that arse in Starbucks

I can get elaborate with my descriptions of my favorite items. "Gold satin cargo pocket joggers". "Brown leather x-toe knee-high Ariat cowgirl boots". "Winter white palewave street ninja wool cardigan with asymmetric draping". "Grey wool Isabel Benenato shredded front sweater with laddered stitching down the sleeves".

I definitely need a job writing, since apparently I'm good at words. I've got to find an outlet for all of my words so I'll quit sounding like a pompous a$$

5 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

You’re too funny, Cindy. As a tech writer, my whole goal in life is to eliminate words, lol. I could never be a lawyer

SarahD8

Heh. I'll just be over here in my cognac riding boots sipping my double tall latte*, reading Hemingway I guess.

*Still kinda worried that bringing my own cup makes me an arse but baristas are unfailingly nice about it.

Barbara Diane

I love the king item descriptions. I can see them so clearly.
Yes, you need a writing career.

notsaf

You are a fabulous and hilarious writer: do it!

Style Fan

You would be a great writer. I wrote reports that required a lot of information in the minimum amount of words. My Starbucks order is one word, maybe two.

Jane

Yes, please find a way of showcasing your talents.

Cardiff girl

If you are serious about writing Some ways to get started;creative writing course,writing for church magazines,submitting pieces for local community newspapers,entering short stories to appropriate women’s magazines.Obviously things might be different where you are but two if my acquaintances have just had books published following doing a creative writing course as a hobby.You have an interesting back story l bet Cindy,write about what you know and I will buy the first copy when it comes out.

April

Unlike a Starbucks order, your clothing summaries describe something visual, so the longer detailed explanations are actually helpful.

Janet

(website)

I am not always good at wording things here (usually typing on my phone, which does NOT help), but I think my journalism background makes me want to keep it brief. Large bold roast coffee with room for cream. I like your visual description of your boots!

Anonymous

You like to paint with words. I think your descriptions are poetic! You'd be great working at the J Peterman catalog!

Angie

Fashion Stylist

You ARE good with words, and animated too. I hope you find your vocation.

My Starbucks order has been the same for 17 years:

Tall Earl Grey.

I keep it simple while my colourful outfit does the talking. I'm not a words person

SW Ann

My starbucks order is pretty short.. venti Americano decaf...I like lots of words but not at starbucks....I prefer simple when it comes to my coffee..

Runcarla

Grande decaf mocha no whip (and I have my own recyclable Starbucks sippy cup). My favourite author is Anthony Trollope.

FWIW, one of my early jobs was with a radio station ‘creative’ department writing adverts. 80 words (max) = 30 sec ad.

Marilyn

LOL

Tall Americano with room for cream

elpgal

When i first moved to to the US, I used to keep my orders very simple because I was embarrassed at having to repeat myself in my Indian accent. Now, my restaurant orders are elaborate! Same accent, just more food intolerances and confidence that comes with aging.

taylor

I’m a great vocal communicator, but a disaster at writing . I envy your skill.
I was a stylist for 42 yrs., so the only thing I ever wrote down were my clients names in the time slot, checks , and sign my name to my children’s progress reports. Writing never entered my daily job. I think those skills wane if you don’t use them daily. I constantly forget how to spell uncommon words that I haven’t actually wrote for decades. Best of luck!
Mocha Grande with whip , please !

JAileen

I like lattes with whole milk. Or coffee with 1/2 and 1/2.

The other day I heard an old interview of a man who wrote a biography of Ernest Hemingway. He wrote that Gertrude Stein advised Hemingway to go through his manuscript and remove every “very”. I’m trying to stop using very, too.

I have become impatient in my old age: I just ask for coffee. I’m really only there for croissants. But my shop... still things have to be so difficult with size and brew! Try asking for a Large Medium. It’s a difficult conversation every time! Oh. My. Goodness. Lol.

Helena

haha, now I'm feeling self-conscious about my tall decaf soy latte ... is four words to ar$e-ish???

Double espresso here! Um- but I tell them to make it not too hot so I can drink it straightaway...
Fwiw I don't think you sound like a pompous ar$e- I love your writing!

Suntiger, I didn't know that was an option?!

Yes it is! I used to tell them to put a bit of ice, but then one day a barista said they can change the temp- she called it child's temperature. Whatevs- I call it drinkable

Does no-one order tea???

I don't drink coffee.

Sometimes I order tea. English Breakfast.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Grande vanilla nonfat latte. Or grande oat milk latte. Or if I'm on a bike ride: short mocha, and yes to the whipped cream.

Your writing is very descriptive and evocative, Cindy. You could easily be writing product descriptions for a clothing company. Or any company, really.

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