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Husbands and fashion.

Hil

(website)

Veteran

Just sharing a little story that had me somewhat bemused. DH went clothes shopping with DS about three weeks back. They went to one of our big clothing stores - Edgars.

Edgars carries various brands and labels including some of their own inhouse brands. Some are plus size, some are funky young and some trend towards classic.

Anyways, DH came home from said shopping excursion and told me that I simply must go see what gorgeous stuff Edgars Merien Hall had in store. MH is a conservative, classic range of clothing and I don't think I have ever bought anything under that label.

Last night I took DD to the mall for a movie and decided to pop into Edgars for a quick look around and see what he saw but I couldn't see anything I really liked. Some very conservative office wear and some flouncy frocks which I would never ever even consider for myself. I imagine the frocks were what he was admiring, and granted they were in some pretty colours... but on me... ummm no!

This leaves me contemplating the idea of how we dress and how our partners see us in what we wear. I dont think I can change my style to please DH but at the same time, I love the idea of what I wear being pleasing to his eye. I think I need to investigate further and find out why he liked what he did...

Dressing

30 replies

Latest reply was from T-Rex

Jules

Veteran

Is he trying to be interested in your new hobby? My DH does that sometimes. He's been a bit mystified by the whole thing since I was never interested in clothes before.

Deborah

Veteran

Hil, one day DH and I were having a coffee and ended up in discussion about what I wear and what he likes... it was my fault... i did ask! It was a very pleasant chat but I was surprised at some of his likes and dislikes. I essentially dress for myself but this conversation did instigate some further culling and rethinking of my style.

Lantana

Veteran

That's a charming story Hil. My DH's eye is always drawn to garments that have a defined waist, garments for me that is. A waisted garment would be wasted on him.

rute

Veteran

What a fun story! Mine has strong opinions on what I wear.

flowergirl

(website)

My husband like me to wear bright colourful clothes, particularly dresses. He does not like dark colours as he calls "frumpy"

Anonymous

I wonder if it was just a general vibe from the clothes he liked that he thought would suit you? Maybe colour of fabric, or drape? He may not be able to actually define it, but there was something that appealed to him.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

So interesting, Hil. This has happened with me and my husband, too -- he will recommend something from a manufacturer of somewhat staid clothes or else he'll suggest something super preppy. This makes some sense to me because he wears a rather preppy/ academic style himself and so that's where he's shopping -- it's what he sees. But it leaves me scratching my head. Why would he want to see me in that?

Sometimes it's actually a colour that has caught his eye -- or it is something in the display. The combination of colours or the mood of the display.

And sometimes it's something that his EX might have been attracted to (she has a highly detailed sort of gamine/ boho style) and that just makes me laugh!

Over time he has become a lot better, though, at judging. And when it comes to actually trying stuff on, he's a pretty good judge of whether it works for me.

I wonder if your DH was thinking of flouncy frocks because he was wishing the two of you could go for a night on the town?

Janet

(website)

Veteran

That is funny. My husband is very good about getting my style. But sometimes he'll show me something and say that I would look awesome in it, and I point out that it's a miniskirt, or something that would look good on someone 20 years younger than me and/or 20 lbs smaller! I suppose it's good that he perceives me that way.

Glory

Veteran

Not sure I can comment on this thread because DH never notices what I have on, and I mean never. He is completely not interested in fashion. That being said - if asked - he is likely to be on the very conservative side of what he thinks is correct attire. For the record, I no longer ask

gobrien

Being a man. My DW recently commented on my style saying I need to spruce up the wardrobe. I usually dress for myself aswell but decided to make the effort for her.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I used to be a buyer for Edgars, AND for Merian Hall.

I trust Greg's style taste implicitly. Enough said.

AviaMariah

Veteran

I had to share this somewhat related experience. I was shopping this weekend with a pretty good friend and she grabbed a pair of shoes and said, "these look like you". They were the last pair of shoes I would probably ever gravitate toward on earth. I don't have anything remotely like them and the style is 100% not what I see as my style. That got me to wondering about how other people see our style. My DH on the other hand is pretty good at picking pieces out for me although he tends to stay on the conservative side.

Carla

Veteran

Fun thread!

DH doesn't comment much when I do 'work wear' or 'dress casual' , though he will occasionally say I 'look nice' when the outfit involves a twirly skirt or dress with waist definition and a fuller skirt. He also likes it when my hair is ironed straight.

The other day when we went through M&S he pointed out an ink blue crinkle cotton hippy style top with tone on tone macrame lace and embroidery. (What?!).

Oh, well. For the record, I can NOT get him to even consider trying on a pair of dark-wash jeans!

Mo

(website)

Veteran

My BF will often comment that 'that's a Mo dress' or something to that effect. Usually it's a particular type of graphic print he knows me to like and wear.
I am aware of his two basic poison eye items and don't have much of anything in that category. He will sometimes think something is too much, like a red dress I bought thinking it could be a daydress and he sees it as OTT for an afternoon. It's just a poly blend, so I think it must be the color itself he sees as 'going out'. Overall, I think he gets my style, and likes it.

MuseumGal

Veteran

My husband rarely comments on my style, but when he does, it's always that I'm wearing something a bit more traditionally ladylike/feminine than usual. I do try to emphasize the feminine a bit more when we go out together - left to my own devices I'm much more boho and tomboyish.

qfbrenda

Veteran

I get the struggle. My hubby is a super laid back, easy to live with guy... except for my clothes. I'm not sure why but he's very opinionated about what I wear and how my hair looks. He's not unkind... just vocal.

We recently had an incident about a top he liked. He pointed out he liked it in a catalog and I really liked it too. I told him I didn't like the pattern and would get a solid color but he didn't hear or remember I said that. So when the red top came, a color that looks really good on me and a flattering shape, he didn't like it that much because it wasn't the floral pattern he was expecting. Um... I don't do florals, so I'm not sure why he would be surprised.

And he immediately didn't like the moto boots I bought recently, though he says now they have grown on him. I think they look tougher than he likes.

I think overall he likes more a girly style than I do. It can be a struggle because I want to please him, but I don't want to lose myself in the process.

rachylou

Veteran

I don't know what men see. I watched this whole show once, done in Britain, on the differences between men and women. Men are, apparently, blind, deaf, and dumb compared to women. They don't register nearly as much as women. Our peripheral sight is better, we hear more nuance, etc. Of course, any given man may or may not match the averaged out scores.

Anyways, my bf is very good about picking out things for me - minus one strange pair of very large flannel jams from Target. He knows I dress *crazy.* But ask him, after going into a room, if he remembers the guy in the yellow shirt - he'll be "um, no. no guy, no shirt."

Mostly he wants women to wear jeans and sneakers. He doesn't see the point of anything else and is a little flummoxed by having to deal with a woman in heels. This, btw, is hilarious. I was reminded of this because we're in the same office again - that's how we met, working at the same place. Lots of heel wearing by me in offices.

One of my theories, anyways, is he goes on the principle that if he hates it, it's perfect for me. Lol. It would be a pretty fail-safe method.

TraceyLiz65

(website)

Veteran

My husband knows he is fashion challenged. He compliments me often and always notices something new. If it was up to him, I'd be in heels everyday...
I appreciate that he wouldn't dare to pick anything out for me and never questions my spending, which is his way of being supportive. He also let's me push him in his own style and with compliments from his friends has gained confidence in trying new things. He does reject a few things here and there.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Interesting. I think most of my male friends compliment on anything that isn't too flowery. They like simple patterns (dots) and in small amounts (tights) and a combination of simple colours (navy is safe) with leather (boots). And they don't like big earrings.

Boys are strange.

jayne

Veteran

My BF is very supportive, has a genera sense of my style, but never goes on a limb to suggest anything to me. Oh, unless we have been to a wine festival in Barcelona, are a bit tipsy on champagne and are in the Desigual store!

JulieJohn

Veteran

My DH has a good sense of my style, and urges me to go out on a limb more often than I naturally would, which I like. He's the reason I incorporate more color and more curves into my outfits.

Hil, I think a shopping trip with your hubs is in order, with a snack afterward at a cafe. Have him show you what he liked, and even try it on. You might be surprised.

I remember when we were dating hubs chose a dress for me to try on. It was white, midi-length, clingy, and blingy with rhinestones on the neckline. Not anything I would have chosen for myself in a million years, just not my style. I tried it on .... and I looked fabulous in it, drop dead glamorous -- couldn't take my eyes off myself! I didn't end up buying it because I had nowhere to wear it, but I'll never forget that feeling, and it was fun!

Lyn D.

Veteran

My Hubby doesn't really notice my outfits much.
When I began dressing more stylishly he would occasionally raise an eyebrow, but he is used to it now.
He is vocal about things he doesn't 'get' though, but I rely on YLF and my happiness factor to decide if new items are right for me.
He has zero interest in my love of shopping!

DonnaF

Veteran

Hmmm. I think DH is pretty oblivious. He DID, however, point out recently that I wore the same yellow plaid flannel shirt over the Christmas holidays at his mom's for years. and years. and years. I think I stopped wearing it over a decade ago when it became part of DD's Halloween scarecrow costume. And he did try to buy me a leather jacket after noticing that I used an entire package of seam tape to patch the lining of my current (vintage) leather jacket. Otherwise, he never says anything about what I wear. I do wonder what he would say about those Eileen Fisher harem pants with the mid-calf crotch? They fascinate me and I would buy them if EF sold at a lower price point, but IMHO, they are a man repeller style, lol.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Well not to perpetuate any stereotypes or anything, but I have three very good gay friends and they each have very developed senses of style and notice everything. On the other hand, (also gay) BIL's aesthetic sense is completely turned outward and he does not dress well at all imho. DH is sort of like his brother - he is very good with graphics, food presentation and has lots of opinions on how things look but generally does not notice clothes and is not focused on what he wears. He notices what I wear in a general way, but does not appreciate shoes at all, which misses the point in my book!

Dee

Veteran

My husband seems to be incapable of having fashion-related opinions. If I try something on and ask his opionion, his comment is usually something along the lines of "It's very [insert color of garment here]." No matter the size/shape/cut. This is occassionally frustrating when we're out and I want actual feedback, but then agan, he lives in jeans and nerdy t-shirts, so maybe my expectations are too high!

Jeanie

Veteran

Only occasionally does my hubby take notice of what I wear and it's only when I am wearing a dress or skirt and heels. Once he openly objected to my old jean overalls which I wore anyway. I think style is just not really on his mind. However, he does have a sense of style and has even bought dresses for me over the years. He sometimes will pick something that I would have never picked and it will surprise me and look good. I do wonder where they get their idea of what looks good. I guess you hubby wants to see you in those flouncy frocks!

FlorenceFearne

@ Dee - I think I'm dating your husband's long lost twin! Except mine says everything is, "very [insert type of garment here.]" Grr. Apparently my SO believes that "shirtlike" is somehow a useful response.

Anyway, my SO basically prefers black, and tight. Nothing showing a lot of skin, really, but just garments that are basically painted on. I've tried on pants so tight I couldn't bend my knees, and he felt they were still not tight enough. Ha ha ha, I guess I should just be grateful he loves the way my body looks.

Aziraphale

Veteran

My father-in-law is always trying to get my mother-in-law to wear tailored, conservative stuff, which is not her style at all. The words she uses to describe them are "finky" (delicate in an unstylish way, I think) and "gussy" (dressed-up, fussy, a little pretentious). Funny thing is, they both have excellent taste -- just different. FIL is quite conservative, but always looks sharp, choosing well-cut suits, sweaters with good drape and tailored fit, good shoes and crisp pants. MIL is funkier but always looks great. She wears skinny bottoms with long, fluid tops, often a high and interesting neckline (like what Angie chooses), huge statement earrings and bold, memorable glasses.

Anyway, my point is, you and your husband might be "just different" too. Ask your hubby what it is he likes about those clothes. Maybe you could meet somewhere in the middle, if you care about this.

Elly

Veteran

Ha Ha! This is a funny one. All of the men in my life seem to be fairly opinionated about clothing, but not particularly stylish or specific in their criterion. I have always found and still find my father very confusing, as he tends to like jeans and tees but then will ask why I am not wearing something revealing or dressed up for occasions like dates. On the rare day that I have been dressed in a revealing fashion, he will comment on my outfit being racy or unflattering. Basically, he wears saggy britches and clothes with holes, so we have decided to ignore his opinion.

He likes that my mother isn't high maintenance, then complains that she doesn't do certain "maintenance" things. He is sorta clueless and a bit sexist.

The SO is not sexist, but problematic in his own way. When we met I was working on a very limited basis, so was trying very hard to make my wardrobe budget stretch by only replenishing basics. So, I wore a lot of plain, dark, practical clothing. I've tried to tell him that that isn't entirely representative of my style, and that I have in the past been a big fan of certain colors, but he seems to see neutrals, particularly dark neutrals as my colors and will purchase me something in a dull grey over a bright color no matter what. He has commented that my few pink and purple clothing items don't look like "me" to his eye. I think part of it is that he personally prefers the dark neutrals on him and in his home, so he lumps me in.

He is fairly vocal about what he doesn't like on other women, and seems to think I am "too practical" for fashion. I'm into fashion, but don't like to shop and prefer things that are wearable for my lifestyle and won't buy things that don't work with it.

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