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How long do you keep it? When to donate?

Staysfit

Veteran

On several threads recently, the theme of how long to keep our clothes has come up. How do you know when it’s time to remove something from your closet? When is something clearly dated? How do you decide which items to keep and which to give away? What do you do with them once you are done? What do you do with sentimental items? What about items that you love and are worn out that you want to keep but shouldn’t? Do you replace them with an exact replica? What if the style is dated but you still love it? I thought it might be useful for us to keep our answers to these sorts of questions together in one place.

General

61 replies

Latest reply was from Janet

Staysfit

Veteran

I am not that good at removing items from my closet. When I first started posting on the forum, my closet was bloated beyond capacity and spilling into the rest of my house. Since I have a large closet, and the other closets are also large, it was a big chaotic mess. As many of you know, I did a lot of work to cull items. My initial edit was the easiest. I pulled out items that had stains, rips or tears. Items that were stretched out, had pilling or were shredded. Next, I pulled anything that I obviously wouldn’t wear again, like the wool coat from when I was pregnant. (I swear I still had it, and had moved it from Michigan, to California, to NY and I was pushing 50, so no way was I planning on using it again!). Then I tried on everything, and pulled anything that didn’t fit, which wasn’t much, because my weight hasn’t changed. I needed different criteria, so I went by color. I sorted out anything that wasn’t in my palette, and pulled it out. Once that was done, I had weaned enough to get back into my closet.

My current problem, is I still may have too much. I have held on to items for questionable reasons. For example, I have two grocery bags of mid rise jeans. I prefer high rise and have replaced the jeans in my closet with high rises because they are currently in style. I thought I would never see high rises again! So, should I keep my favorite mid rise jeans or give them away? They were so hard to find the first time, I am tempted to keep them...........

I have a container with my chocolate brown shoes. Remember when chocolate was THE color? I love dark chocolate brown, so I kept all of them. I also have three pair of beautiful tall chocolate boots. They are in very good to excellent condition. Good enough for me to wear. I have no idea how much I will wear them again, but I kept them because I love them. If I downsize, they will need to be culled. To be fair, I did pull out my chocolate brown polka dot dress which I once posted, and I wore it to a retirement party recently. It’s my all time favorite dress. It made me so happy to wear it, and I paired it with my chocolate brown kitten heel booties, I felt so happy, and elegant.

Somehow, and for reasons I cannot explain, I am also holding on to my Jean jacket. I have had it for 30 years. It’s from Eddie Bauer. I almost never wear it, but it’s fitted, and the sleeves are long enough, which is rare. I also rarely toss or give away winter boots or coats, so my coat closets are stuffed. They don’t wear out! I should thin them out, but many are my favorite chocolate brown, so I can’t. Brown isn’t even in my color palette right now! LOL!

So, what about you?

kkards

Veteran

Stayfit....i wish i had an easy answer, or a simple formula....but alas, like you, i have more questions then answers.....
for me, i keep things that i really like or have a sentimental attachment to....so, i have the 1st levi denim jacket that i got in college, but i have a current one that i actually wear...i have the coach bag i bought with earning from my 1st real job, but have other bags that are in daily use....
as for my everyday closet...right now, i'm struggling with what to do with my "business" clothes, as we went to casual dress code last summer...what do i keep and how much, as i know that there will be occasions/times when i will need dressy clothing.....

Style Fan

Veteran

I constantly struggle with editing my closet. I have several boxes of footwear and pieces of clothing that never get worn that I need to tackle.

Footwear
I kept my favourite footwear for many years. I had a couple of big plastic tubs containing high heels, boots and sandals that I would never wear again. I have had problems with my feet for over a decade. I kept high heels that tortured me from the minute I put them on. They didn't do that when I bought them.
About a year ago I finally went through all my footwear boxes and donated most of the ones that I would never wear again. I did keep a few because I just could not bring myself to say goodbye to all of them.

Jeans
I got rid of a lot of my bootcut jeans and I regret it. Finding jeans I like is very difficult. I am very picky. I prefer a mid-rise or even better a high rise jean. My weight does not really change that much these days. I go up a little bit and then I go down a little bit. Size of my jeans is not really the issue.
I think from now on I will be very careful about editing my jeans.

I have more thoughts on this issue of editing but I will stop here for now. I will come back and add more.

Bijou

Veteran

Staysfit - I could have written this post, although I think black is my version of your chocolate brown. A friend once told me I had as many coats as his Mum - she lives in Canada, me Australia. It was a sobering thought.

Luckily, my office had a collection of coats for the Salvation Army as we are heading into winter. LOL I have filled up the office bins with my donated coats. They were all in pristine condition and of beautiful quality. One was a German coat that I bought 14 years ago. So pretty in ice blue. I have photos of travels in that jacket. Another, bought for a winter trip to Japan for my 40th birthday - so warm that I don't wear it in Australia - it will keep someone warm at night... I could go on, but thinking that my excessive coat collection is helping those in need, it makes it easier to shed the surplus.

I have greatly admired your wardrobe, so whatever you give away, will really help someone in need.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Well, I should reply of course. I couldn't face replying this evening. We are having our first "winter" storm tonight, halfway through autumn. About a week ago I wore shorts in the garden! So instead of replying I pulled out some warmer tops from storage. I'm ready whatever the weather tomorrow!
Might tackle this thread in a day or two.

Anonymous

These posts are so helpful to me as I struggle with my own closet editing.

First, I am so glad that I am not the only person that has issues with editing wardrobes. This is hard work, both physically and emotionally.

Second, reading the insight of others is informative. For example, StyleFan's acknowledgement that culling jeans needs to be done carefully in her life makes me wonder if there are categories that I should be careful culling. I honestly don't know, but will give it some thought.

MaineLady's post inspired me to schedule another weekend of closet editing. I edit by "category." I started out by evaluating all the bottoms in my closet. I kept those that fit both my body and my life style. I ruthlessly culled those that no longer suited either.

I am starting to evaluate my lounge and athletic capsules. The fit of the garments that make up these capsules is much better than the fit of my bottoms, but I find I prefer to wear only a small portion of those capsules or buy new items altogether. It is my goal to cull the items that I no longer wear (no matter how pristine they are) and the duplicates (Queen of Duplication here).

With regard to sentimental pieces, I usually keep these, but they are not part of my "working" closet. They are packed and stored away. The exception is bags. Like KKards, I still have every single Coach bag I ever bought. They were huge investments when I started my first professional job. They meant a great deal to me emotionally. I don't use them any more though. They are heavy. Oh, so heavy. They are not packed away and take up A LOT of closet space.

Great thread. I hope to glean even more information as others add to the thread.

RobinF

Veteran

I'm no help because I also have a hard time getting rid of clothing - you never know when you might want it! Honestly, there have been a few times when I have regretted getting rid of something but not very often. And it's kind of funny, when I go into my Goodwill bag and drag something out, I put it on and then usually remember why it is there in the first place and back it goes!

cindysmith

Veteran

I was never very good at getting rid of clothing & accessories. For 40 years, I had space aplenty, and I was living proof that the volume of stuffs one has will expand to fill the space one occupies. I had three closets and a tall chest of drawers, full to bursting with clothes and shoes. When we got ready to move into an RV, I culled some stuff (mostly shoes). I packaged up all of my off-season clothes in vacuum cleaner sucky bags and stored them under the bed. My first seasonal changeover? I filled the trunk of my Honda accord so full I could hardly close it, and I drove it all from Shreveport to baton rouge and let a dear friend have first dibs at it all. What she did with the stuff she didn't want is beyond me; I was just grateful it wasn't my headache anymore.

These days, I'm probably entirely too quick to get rid of things. I have gotten rid of lots of things that could likely be saved by an alteration or a bit of careful cleaning. I've got too much on my plate right now: planting a vegetable garden, work, easing into an exercise & healthy eating regiment, and oh yeah we're building a house which is totally consuming so much resources (time, money, energy, decision making capacity)... I do have a small holding zone (well, several small holding zones because RVs are just built that way) that holds pieces that I might want to wear again or pieces that might fit again if my exercise &healthy eating habits work. Ill visit those pieces at some point in the future, after we're done building. For now, I'm content to save most of my decision-making capacity for the design/building/furnishing/decorating (which, by the way, was recommended to me here LOL)

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I also have a hard time letting go of things that are perfectly fine but that I'm not wearing. I don't have trouble getting rid of stuff that's damaged or visibly worn -- in fact, it's kind of a relief when that does happen because I feel no conflict about letting go then. It's when something is in good condition and SEEMS perfectly serviceable that I have trouble. When it's something that was a little more costly, even more so. Or if it fits fine and is objectively flattering, even if it doesn't feel like my current style. I tend to hang on *just in case.*

I don't get rid of jeans unless they wear out, don't fit anymore, or become dated for my style. I got rid of some bootcuts years back because they had that high contrast stitching that was so popular for a while that made them look really early 2000's, but I kept others that were cut similarly but with simple stitching that didn't date them so badly. In fact, I have those at the ranch because I don't care if I wear holes in them! But I have a very hard time finding jeans that fit and look good on me, so once I find some, I tend to hang on for dear life.

Anonymous

Omg Stayfit- I am the worst. I have stuff from the turn of the century- lol.
Angie would have a conniption looking in my closet.
Because I am sporty classic many of these pieces can pass muster over greater time frame.....that’s my story and I am sticking to it- lol.
I have many button downs that still look good because they were great quality pieces and have been cared for. I have jeans I am not sure I will ever be ready to part with but definitely need new ones.
I am horrible on sweaters , tees and silks so turn over is faster on those.
And of course I have scarves older than my marriage and kid- woohoo.

LaPed

Veteran

What a great question! I have no simple formula. For example, I've learned the hard way not to cull pants just because they are too big or too small. My weight fluctuation tends to occur mostly in my hips/thighs/calves, so for me it is totally worth it to keep a range of pants (also it can be nice to have a few roomier pairs for when it is really cold and you want to be able to put extra-warm long johns underneath!).

One thing I've gotten better about is not keeping anything that is a dog-hair magnet. I figure those items will be better off in pet-free homes where they will see lots more use.

I do have a small box of sentimental items (mostly things that belonged to my grandmother) but it's kept separate from the clothes I actually wear. I go through it every now and then, and have been slowly passing on some of the items as I feel able to let them go, or using them for crafts projects with DS (turning old wool sweaters into dolls' blankets, etc). I also have a box of child-sized clothes that belonged to me; I'm glad I kept it all these years because some of it is going to fit DS pretty soon.

It is worth finding out what your thrift store does with donated items that they decide they can't sell -- do they ship overseas, throw it in a dumpster, etc? I used to donate a lot of borderline-wearable clothes, but after working for a local benefit shop for a while and seeing how much gets rejected, I decided that in general it's better to hold onto those items and turn them into rags myself.

I'm trying to get better about bringing all my "textile trash" to H&M since they will recycle it, but the nearest H&M is quite far away and I only get there about once a year. And Patagonia takes back Patagonia-branded items to recycle or refurbish, so I drop off a bag there about once every year or two as well. My local transfer station had a textile recycling program for a while, but had to discontinue it last year for a complex set of reasons (cost, logistics, low demand, etc). Figuring out how to keep clothes out of landfills is a real challenge.

I highly recommend bringing extra winter coats, boots and accessories to a homeless shelter or women's shelter, they will be used by those who really need it. Kid's sizes too!

Anonymous

This post is very informative I am a great sentimental with my clothes if I separate it is that they are worn otherwise I keep them I do not have much that makes the task easy. I have even become accustomed to some clothes like coats buying them in second hand stores I often find my happiness.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

This is a great question, Staysfit. And I agree with Bijou that your wardrobe is so high quality that anything you donate to a women's shelter or Dress for Success or similar organization will be a huge gift to another woman.

I edit quite substantially at least twice a year, but I don't really have a system. It's more like "organized emotional" editing, to copy Angie's shopping phrase.

When doing the seasonal switchover, I examine every item for wear and fit, first, and then style (does it feel dated for my style or am I sick of it?). Meanwhile, I'm also simultaneously weighing these criteria against others such as usefulness and happiness factor.

So...even if something feels a tiny bit dated, for instance, or I'm tired of it in a way, if it still fits and is in good shape and I don't have a great substitute/ alternative in mind for that category of item, I might keep it, because I know if I don't, I may end up with a significant wardrobe hole.

This is what led me to keep a couple of tube skirts last summer. I've been wearing these knit skirts pretty constantly for 5 years or so. So I'm a little "over" the look. Yet they are so, so useful to me, filling so many functions. I donated a couple that I was really tired of to my stepdaughter but kept a couple because I wasn't sure I had a suitable replacement item. Sure enough, I wore the heck out of them again last year.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

I really struggle with this too.There is lots of advice given like if you haven’t worn it for a year get rid,but our climate is so variable if I did that some years I d get rid of all my summer clothes then have to replace them again the next year,so I don’t always find advice like this relevant.
You obviously know about ditching the worn ,broken,stained but it’s the perfectly good things that one still likes but maybe hasn’t worn for a long time isn’t it.I know that in the past I have ridden myself of things that I hadn’t worn in a while only to regret it.l think maybe the answer lies with the reason that something isn’t getting worn.Is it because you don’t have enough support act to go with it?I have realised that this is often the case for me .I n which case keep,or is it about the proportions,again nothaving the right footwear or other supporting garments can make an item seem unwearable.
I think if I feel physically or emotionally uncomfortable in a garment then that’s the time to let it go.You know the sort of thing,all the trousers that are slightly too tight when you sit down or the jumper that’s a bit itchy or the top that makes you feel old when you put it on.
I would however keep those boots you ve talked about as they are obviously a classic ,can be worn forever and would be expensive to replace ditto jeans jacket.
I think another thing is that if you buy classic well made clothes and don’t die you are going to end up with a fair size of wardrobe by the time you get into your 50s.Dont feel bad ,feel lucky !

Anonymous

To me, the question is "why"? And to you: why do you want to keep the things you are writing about? The collection of brown pieces that aren't even in your chosen palette anymore etc
Who needs more than a few pair of jeans at any given time ? Have we ever seen anything return to favour in style that wasn't slightly tweaked from the last time ? (high waisted jeans being a perfect example).

I know that my answer to the why used to be that I was afraid I'd never find a replacement , or be able to afford one, should one day I decide to wear brown again (for example). But that's simply not true.

I used to keep clothing longer than I do now, and that's mainly due to steadily increasing weight rendering older clothes unwearable. But I also like to think that my standards have tightened up , thanks to this forum, and if any particular piece is not pulling its weight and getting worn regularly, then it's gone. I cannot justify storing things just for the sake of "maybe" ,and sentimental reasons......those escape me. I was eyeballing my wedding dress the other day and wondering why I was hanging on to it. My daughter will never wear it so what's the point?

I've become very practical and almost ruthless in the past 5 years - and once you've had to clean out someone else's house and closet of their belongings , you realize how it's just all "stuff" , and what we hang on to needs to be useful, beautiful , and make us feel good. Says William Morris

Runcarla

Veteran

Having just retired I did purge some work clothes that I KNEW I just didn't ever want to wear again. I'm holding on to a few that I think can work as part of a dressy capsule or might work for more formal occaisions that I might encounter. It is only 2 weeks since I stopped work and I find I am on my feet and moving a lot. I am looking at certain shoes and actually cringing at the idea of wearing them! But if I give them away what might I wear with certain outfits? I'm keeping for now, and will probably apply the 1 year rule.

I either wear clothes out (holes in jeans, black that takes on a purple tinge from wash, sun, and wears), or ruin (stains, tear) but also mistakes - compromise on fit or other annoyance - piling, bagging out of shape, difficulty with a fussy detail.

My collection of clothes is modest and I am a slow adopter, so churn isn't too high.

Anonymous

While I aspire to a “lisa p” level of practicality and ruthlessness in closet cleaning, the truth is that I’m much closer to the situation you describe previously being in, Staysfit. My own walk-in closet is full, and I’ve taken over an additional good-sized closet in an extra bedroom, too. <sigh>

Then, just yesterday, I was contemplating what to wear to an engagement party this weekend, with a specified dress code of “one notch below cocktail attire”. Whatever THAT means? Additional complicating factor is that we are expecting an unseasonable cold snap that day. Anyway, I pulled together an outfit of a several year old pair of ivory lightweight wool trousers, that unexpectedly fit perfectly again, and a long-owned, never-worn sleeveless black silk shell. Two items I definitely would have purged had I been clearing out.

Sorry, but I obviously have no hints to share! I think I’m hopeless!

Sal

Veteran

I can understand a few perspectives here and have such a variety of friends and family members with different approaches.

My own (for my closet and my homewares) is as follows

1) Only keep what I use/wear or love.
2) Hopefully most pieces fit both these criteria - but there are some items that I love that are not very useful and some that I use that I do not love. I have a lovely dress that I keep that is too snug but that I love and hope to see someone wear one day. I also have some black winter boots that I am over but they are practical, comfortable and fit a need that I won't be budgeting for this winter.
3) Edit regularly. This keeps it achievable. I edit about four times a year - so I have put away my high summer pieces and pulled out most of my autumn/winter. In another week or two I can get rid of a few more pieces and add in the true winter woolies.

I have passed on one or two things that I regret - a black and white avant garde skirt, some black sleek boots - but not many.

The other thing that is if you genuinely have the mental and physical space to store things it is okay to do so. As a teenager I ADORED visiting my maternal grandmother who had a home filled with vintage furs and ballgowns and books and toys - it was so much fun trying on things and I looked fantastic at my school dances!!

Murph11

Veteran

I'm with lisa p on this subject!

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

I clear out very regularly and always have a thrift/consignment pile going. I agree with other Lisa that even when things come back into fashion, the old item rarely remains a viable option.

I have regretted a few things I got rid of too quickly when I was pissed at myself over a brief weight gain, but for the most part, I'd rather have room for what I am really wearing.

Anonymous

I think I'm going to start a closet-editing service. I'm dying over here.

Staysfit

Veteran

Lisa P, I am feeling motivated to get up and start clearing out the excess. I really agree with what you say. There is no reason for me to keep things that I know I would never really use again in the future. When I really consider my chocolate brown items, my favorite dress and the booties I mentioned are the two things I truly love. I have a medium length TNF down coat that I sometimes wear as well, otherwise, the rest should go to the giveaway bin. I think it’s time to send off my mid rise jeans also. I am happier with my high rise jeans right now, and when I want a change, I will probably buy whatever is in style at the time.

The Cat

Veteran

I edit my closet 4 times a year, at the end of each season. Out-of-season items will be stored in the attic, but before that, I take a close look at each item and ask myself: Will I happily wear this item next spring/summer/fall/winter? If the answer is no, it will have to go. If an item needs to be replaced (because my wardrobe would function poorly without it), I make a note to myself, so that I can start looking for it early.

The Cat

Veteran

My answer to your first question ("How long do you keep it?") will be: I'll keep it as long as it looks fine and still fits my body and my style.

Staysfit

Veteran

I’m back from my closet after only 30 minutes. I tackled my shoes. I pulled out three pairs of old chocolate brown shoes, and immediately recognized they needed to go into the bin. I tried on a fourth and found them so comfy, I couldn’t bear to part with them. I reasoned that in addition to their high happiness factor, they are low kitten heel pumps, a classic style, and are not dated, so they get to stay! Hooray! The final chocolate brown keepers are my Anyi Lu kitten heel booties. Maybe they’re shooties, not booties, whatever.........I’m on the fence about my chocolate brown AGL ballet flats. I still wear them on occasion, so my inclination is to keep them until they have completely worn out. I noticed a pair of well worn Arche booties that served me well for three years, but have seen better days. They should probably go into the trash. Why did I keep them? They have no sentimental value and they don’t serve a purpose that cannot be filled by some other pair of booties in my closet. Strangely, they were purchased one size larger than my typical. Maybe I kept them so I would remember to do that again if I ever purchase an Arche brand shoe! (My logic can be very illogical.)

So, I culled 4 pairs of shoes in 30 minutes. A 5th pair is potentially on the chopping block - the brown AGL’s. I have a second shoe bin to tackle, plus the shoes in my closet. It should be easy, right!

I suspect coats and jeans will be more difficult. Lisa P I could use your sharp editing skills right here and now!

Irina

Veteran

What helps me to weed my clothes is what Angie calls “emotions” and “happiness factor “. I used to keep items because there was nothing wrong with them - they fit me and were in a decent shape. So, I put them in a holding zone for a season. I missed nothing. I tried to wear some of it and didn’t like how I looked. It felt outdated and not “me” anymore. At the end, I moved them to a donation bag. I used to assess more the functionality of my clothes and practicality. Now I pay attention to how it makes me feel.

krishnidoux

Veteran

Staysfit, you have had good advice here. It tells of how this particular challenge affects a lot of us.
I read your post with great interest, because I could relate to so much of what you wrote. I too am pushing 50, have travelled across the continent and in various climates with many pieces following me through it all - although often remaining in their blue plastic bins or in the back of dark, amiss and seldom visited closets. Also, my general body size hasn't changed that much: my body has fluctuated its shape and weight distribution quite impressively with maternity, post-maternity, pre-menopause and all, but amazingly I can still compress and jostle or even float or glide into what I wore 20+ yrs ago. So, then, just like you, why would I give up my favorite, beloved items, for which I worked so hard on finding?
I hung onto some oldies very dearly until about 5 years ago, when I divorced and made big changes happen in my life. I didn't give it away all at once, of course. But it happened in chunks, boxes of happy gifts to shelters and less fortunate women who received it with various degrees of gratitude - if I can place reliance on their distinguishable pinched smiles at the time. But this is, of course, something I try not to think about too much, as it tends to bring me what you English speakers so accurately call the blues.
Be that as it may, I have this little theory that can be helpful: older clothes, that clearly belong to other eras of our lives (you know, when we say, "Oh, in another lifetime, when I used to..."), should go: if we keep them we hurt the new us, by forcing ourselves to abide by principle of olden days. Because these pieces become a measure, and when we put them on we think, Oh, I remember how I use to feel in this... how it used to be too large here, and this seam/hem/length that I didn't care for 10 yrs ago is now bothering me for X reason... when in fact our job now is to celebrate who we are today, as we are, without mourning for the body we had while we were making our way here. Even if you fit into older pieces, even if you feel the same inside the clothes, the simple act of looking at a previous version of you, only with more age, is counterproductive IMO. You are more today. You have learned things you didn't know then.
Don't give everything away, because you might rediscover a piece, mixed with new things. However, you mention, "I have had it for 30 years. It’s from Eddie Bauer. I almost never wear it". And this is where you should start. If you don't wear it, why do you give it so much of your precious space (physical and mental)? Would you pay storage to keep it? If not, then maybe consider the donate box. And never mind the much obliged smirks. We don't know what goes on in other people's heads

krishnidoux

Veteran

While I was typing this long, sinuous conceptual answer, you, Staysfit, were in the now and into action, bravely facing your closet and making progress. Kudos to you! Keep up the good job!

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I have a bit different attitude toward purging, especially shoes. If they are comfortable and I like them I keep them. Because my shoes are quirky, I have found that they float in and out of style (that is my style) and I would not dismiss brown shoes right now - actually brown is coming back. As for the rest, I periodically get rid of things I am not wearing and have never worn, but am very lenient with things that I know I love even if I haven't wore them lately.

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