Deb, by protected do you mean from the elements, or something else?

And Tina made a great distinction between how we want to feel vs. how we want to be perceived. So feeling "fun" vs. being seen as "fun" are different, perhaps.

I guess my question is more "how do you want to feel in your clothes even if no one is around?" Assuming you wouldn't just be eating cereal in your PJs like me.

Fun question! I like a lot of the words on your list.

This is how I want to feel in my clothes (even if no one is around):

collected
sharp
balanced
strong
womanly
....and occasionally, fierce.

I don't want to feel:

juvenile
flaky
precious
constrained (I like that one from your list)
awkward

I'm really hoping I'll find time this week to finish those outfit sketches, to see if anyone thinks I'm hitting my goals.

Una, by protedcted I mean feeling unvulnerable (is that a word?) It is hard for me to explain. I want to feel in my clothes something other than what I am actually feeling in life. Instead of fun, maybe I should use the word joy.

Ah - shielded? Invulnerable? Interesting!

Invulnerable ("immune to attack")

Yes, invulnerable.

Una, your brain is on fire today! What a powerful question. I'm trying to clear the weeds of delusion from my head to get at the answer.

It's so obvious when my clothes make me feel bad (and of course I don't want that), but I can't say I ask my clothes to make me feel good. I don't ask them to make me feel a certain way about myself. I'm not into, for example, "Hey! I am cu-ute!" (and I never use the word "hottie" either, btw - hehe).

I do take any number of things into consideration - like dress codes, authority, accurate advertising, and keeping the *native* traditions alive - but I don't think they're the main thing honestly... Come to think if it, paying too much attention to those considerations may have been a source of dissatisfaction in the past.

The one thing that comes to mind... well, as one of my high school beaux observed, I need to be entertained... (Man! So cutting! I should have paid more attention to the farmer's boy!)

Anyways, yes, cutting but true. And thus, I don't suppose, my aversion for "safe" outfits. My need for quirkiness. Just looking nice and pretty is a horrible torture for me. There's nothing to think about there.

Ok. Well, that's my answer for now: I want to feel entertained.

***
ETA: I'm already back after reading more posts. I do want to feel - even when I'm alone - like I'm not only in the swim of things, but that I'm at the frontier edge. No velour lounge suit with words across the butt for me. That is so 90's.

RachyLou, you crack me up! Now I have "This Brain Is On Fire" stuck in my head. Oh, wait, that's not the song title?

You make a good point. I DO ask my clothes to make me feel a certain way, and that's why I need to be aware of it. It explains that squirmy sense of discomfort when I'm wearing an outfit that really isn't me. Objectively it may look fine (and I find that's mostly when I get lots of compliments) but those don't matter to me if I feel squirmy. The closest I can get to describing that feeling is when my mom would put me in those fluffy satin-and-lace party dresses with white tights and patent Mary Janes... I was miserable, itchy, hindered, and felt like a human meringue.

Perhaps all my issues stem from seeking the exact opposite of that feeling in what I want to wear.

Laughing. Now I have human meringue stuck in my head - so not you you'll be glad to hear.

I'm not sure if I want my clothes to make me feel a certain way or if I want the clothes that I wear to bring those aspects out in me. I'm with you Una I had the itching, uncomfortable don't run around you'll dirty your dress childhood too - are we just reactionary? Or was it that we couldn't get to express our true nature then so it has become very important to us now?

Great question!

I want to feel:

- long and lean
- in control
- modern
- creative
- interesting
- powerful/strong
- noticeable (not fade into the woodwork)
- sexy (not overtly but inwardly if that makes sense -- showing skin does not necessarily equate!)
- comfortable/at ease

This is a great exercise for me. I spent a lot of my lifetime intellectualizing my emotions rather than *feeling* them. I think some of the work I did around that stuff via therapy has enabled a lot of the changes I've had in the last few years, including my style shift. I have started to pay closer attention to how clothes make me feel. Great observations, Una!

Janet, exactly. I've noticed I'm a lot happier when my clothes make me FEEL a certain way, as opposed to just making me LOOK a certain way. Which may be why flattery is not my priority - not interested in feeling thin or hot or attractive in a conventional sense - and which also goes to Angie's comment on happiness, don't you think?

This is a great exercise!
I find this a lot easier than coming up with a 2 or 3 word style descriptor, but maybe this exercise can lead me to one.

I want to feel:
Elegant
Sophisticated
Sensual
Current
Sleek
Bold
Polished
Playful but restrained
Relaxed
Appropriate

But never:
GIrly/ Sweet
Demure/ Prim & Proper
Stiff
Sloppy
Provocative
Outrageous

Amiable, we might be style twins! Your list has resonance for me. My own list:

Natural
Fit
Strong
Subtle
Clean
Refined
Composed
Warm

Alaskagirl have you seen these?

Where did you find those?! Hilarious!

There is a whole community of fashion folks doing sets ( polyvore and pinterest) and you can google them. Type in character inspired fashion, or 'name' inspired fashion, and they will pop up. Everything from gaming characters to tv and movie characters.

The goal is to turn costume in to RL fashion.

Below a few more examples.

# 2 is the 10th Dr. From Dr. Who.

Confident
Creative
Not conservative or mainstream
Someone with good taste

Plus I relate to the comfortable and unconstrained that a lot of you mentioned.

That third point -- not conservative or mainstream - probably has a lot to do with the environment where I live. It's a mix of red necks and retirees, where among the retirees in particular it's socially rewarding to look, talk, think and act like each other.

And I am sure they think I have *awful* taste.

Love this thread Una! I have only skimmed the responses as I want to try to get this without to much interference. I completely agree that I am striving for a certain feeling:
independent, elegant, comfortable. Probably more will come with caffeine.

I like to be perceived as interesting, intelligent, and original I think. I feel these traits come out over time both in knowing me and sometimes just looking at me.

Happy and confident

What a great thread Una! I feel like I'm in a bit of a rut, and this question you've asked is extremely helpful, in terms of moving forward. So thank you!

I want to feel:

Serious
Smart
Creative
Innovative
Progressive
Compassionate
Inventive
Forward-thinking
Generous
Open-minded, inclusive

I am not sure how that translates into clothes/style - but if I could find a way to be true to myself in terms of style - these are the words/ideas that would fit and make me feel happy.

This is a fabulous thread Una!

I want to feel:

- happy
- confident
- unfussy
- creative
- different (in a good way)
- approachable

Great thread, Una! I was distracted for awhile by trying to imagine you with a raspy voice, then I imagined the voices of other YLFers. I swear I know what Suz sounds like!

Despite the fact that I feel like I'm getting ready for a big fashion upheaval, I would like to feel:

Vibrant, but approachable
Confident, and ready to empower others
Free to move
Youthful, but not young
Strong, but womanly

I don't want to feel:

Monotonous
Mousy
Lumpy
Stiff
Invisible

I have been trying to pick my clothes by how they make me feel for the past year, most of the stuff I see in the stores makes me feel a little bored lately.
I like to feel.

powerful
brave
comfortable
nonconforming
prepared
sensual

How do you want to feel in your clothes even when no one is around?

I want to feel:

effortlessly put-together

confident

comfortable

stylishly modest

casually sophisticated

feminine, but not twee

happy

Just stumbled on this. I surprisingly have yet to see anyone list feminine and that is one of the first things that came to mind for me. Not high maintenance super girly but just the essence of woman-ness, I guess.
And yes, ready for anything, like Rae. I've mentioned that a few times in my WIW's.
Interesting/unique, not mall brand cookie cutter, has always been important for me to feel 'special' ha ha.
Friendly, down to earth, approachable is part of how I feel happiest, unless in a more formal environment.
Beyond that, not objectified or sexualized.
I also like to feel stylish, which sounds like a cover all cop out term, but I mean in a modern, I get what's going on around me, kind of way.

Great question! I just chose the dress I'm going to wear for my wedding and I chose it because it made me feel both elegant and kickass at the same time. On a day to day basis I want my clothes to make me feel:

- womanly
- creative
- put together
- old-fashioned
- offbeat
- one of a kind

I don't want to feel:

- prissy
- casual
- simple
- conservative

A couple of years ago a friend (she is in fact no longer my friend as of 18 months ago) told me that one of her friends called me prim and proper! It still makes me seethe now! I hate those words and I don't want to be that, but I fear thats how other people do see me.
I want to feel:
confident
relaxed
feminine, not girly
aproachable
creative.
I may think of others but that will do for now. Still seething!

I've been thinking about this post for awhile now.

Slim
Strong
Shapely

What I don't want:
Fussy or Complicated
Too girly
Too matronly
Restrictive

What I don't want to feel

cute
sexy
unattractive
square - large - fat
unaware - thrown together

so I guess I do want to feel:

cool - stylish - chic
aware - ie put together
fit - slender (tall is not an issue for me)
sporty - strong - athletic
attractive

By the way, putting the 'don't want' list together seriously comes from my younger years when I was always being told I was cute and/or sexy. I am avidly against all the focus on 'sexy' in clothing. Sexy is fine here and there but argh, it is everywhere!

And I get that personality thing Una, my personality quickly disappates the word cute from thought, but I don't want people to get a shock when they first see me and then later get to know me. I prefer them forwarned and never wore pink to avoid cute. Now that my face is more angular, pink is a friend again And I guess I have also softened some actually.

Lurker posting for the first time--this is a good question.

I want to feel:
Polished
Comfortable
Smart
Feminine
Inspired/Imaginative
Authoritative (at work)

I do not want to feel:
Frumpy
Boring
Sloppy
Undignified
Prissy
Stiff
Unimaginative
Overly sexy (especially at work)