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Holiday Party- What to Wear?

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I thought we weren’t going to have any parties this year, but the mister’s work is having a party. This is Leadership only (most will be much higher level than he is), it’s at a hotel and they are having a sit down dinner. That’s all we know. I have ordered the dress below from Known Supply, thinking I would wear it with booties and sheer black hose. It’s a cotton dress. The coworkers have asked if he is renting a tux for the event, which is giving me pause. Do I need to go dressier? I have a velvet dress that would work, but it’s a little tight across the back now. I have a black silky slip dress, but I’m not sure how I would style it. I have been meaning to have the skirt of my wedding dress made into an actual skirt- that would be a possibility. I would have enough time to have it done. Not sure what else I would pair it with, though. Opinions?

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Dressing

34 replies

Latest reply was from Jonesy

Cee

Veteran

The only thing that springs to mind is to layer a jacket or a fine knit sweater over it.

JAileen

Veteran

Wow - a tux for a holiday party! I would object by dressing exactly as you planned. Your planned outfit looks very nice.

ophelia

Veteran

Tux? Wow. I think the dress & topper are beautiful & perfect. I’d stay pretty conservative at all costs, (lol, but I’m in the SE). Nothing too bare or low-cut etc.

rachylou

Veteran

Ok. Well that’s indicative! But I feel your new dress would work. Haven’t had a black tie work event in 20 years! Last time I did, I wore a black velvet Ralph Lauren dinner gown and pearls. Total Princess Di. That was the era!

Bijou

Veteran

Khris, this is hard. Your dress is beautiful and I am sure you will look great in it, but you don't want to stand out as being inappropriately dressed, especially if the other women are wearing ball gowns (which I suspect they will not). Can your DH find out from his female colleagues what they are wearing to provide you with an idea of how formal you need to dress?

An easy answer is to rent a dress for the occasion. Black tie for a dinner for the men, would read to me that elegant cocktail attire for the women would be appropriate. What makes me pause with your dress is that it is above the knee and the boots, I would definitely change up the shoes to a more formal style.

rachylou

Veteran

I was thinking, Bijou, that Chewy is in California and that everything flies here, so long as it isn’t positively grungy… with the possible exception of a debutante ball… but it’s alway reassuring to check, Chewy!

Sal

Veteran

I like the dress. But I don’t have agauge if it’s dressy enough. I agree with Bijou- see if you can find out if it’s truly black tie or more like a semi formal.

I have a function next week. So I am going to find some pics from last year if I can to see how dressy it is.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

The female coworkers were the ones asking if he was going to rent a tix. They were talking about dresses, but he didn’t know how formal they were. His coworkers are all much younger, and so are likely to get a club dress from Shein, or something similar. His department is very small, and the bottom of the Leadership Team, so he doesn’t really have any gauge on if management likes to dress up or not in general. The company dress policies are very casual die to the type of work they do (behavioral health for people with disabilities). They haven’t had a party like this since before COVID and his team members weren’t there, so nobody knows what the last one was like.

Zaeobi

(website)

Veteran

Hmm could you wear the dress tucked into your wedding skirt with slightly dressier shoes instead? I find a 2pc set to be more versatile in this way (especially with a belt over the top, to hide the separate seams).

The shoes don't have to be fancy necessarily, but just a notch above (e.g. boots in a glossier finish, perhaps?), since accessories tend to make or break the formality of a look (e.g. clutch vs handbag).

Indigoprint

Veteran

do you have something to wear over your slip dress? Maybe a lux sweater? I think that styling is very becoming and probably comfortable as well.

Jules

Veteran

Sounds like these coworkers might be just as in the dark as he is? So I wouldn’t take much direction from their tux question. As a spouse, at a non-profit (?), one time event I don’t personally think you are obliged to meet any standard, especially of people way up the totem pole. It’s about your own comfort level. I personally love the new dress and I am sure you could rock it, but if you want something safely festive the velvet might be good, and fit issues may not be too obvious on a black dress at a low lit evening event.
I think your wedding dress is gorgeous but it reads a bit more summer boho than winter holiday (but I’m in a very different climate where long white skirts won’t do in the snow!). I think I would keep it as a dress and wear it again just as it is (for different types of occasions)!

Jules

Veteran

Sorry I think I confused to items and assumed your velvet dress is black, but maybe it isn’t.

Joy

Veteran

The venue can be a clue. I learned at this site to look online for parties at the venue to see how people were dressed. A personal shopper may help too. They are used to dressing people for these occasions. People seem to want to dress up more post Covid. .

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

What is hubs wearing, Khris? I'd start there and match his level of dressiness.

The dress you ordered is SUPER cute. I think it needs a dressier shoe, rather than the casual boots.

The wedding dress is another great idea! Perhaps no need to hack. Wear a dressy jacket/wrap over the top, with dressy shoes and bag.

unfrumped

Veteran

Sort of what Jules said. Of course I wish you could get reliable guidance on the most likely outfit types there but maybe you won’t. The idea that you husband would be expected to rent a tux with all that entails, I cost, fit, shoes, just sounds ludicrous to me , but I will have to eat my words if proves true. Even if for some reason the higher- ups HAVE targeted formalwear, it should be acceptable for others to wear a suit, and ladies more “ cocktail “ type dresses, equivalent of LBD ( regardless of color) with some dressy accessories. So likely even a less dressy but polished dress outfit is fine.
The problem is I sympathize with whether one actually has the ideal outfit or “ what I’d like to wear if I had it”, but most especially if the “ event ideal” clothing is not what you’d get for your real life.
Plus- footwear-a huge struggle for me as I can’t just target a specific “ dressiness level “ of shoe or boot and expect it to work for my feet and find it at retail. So I agree with Angie that dressier footwear is safer to achieve a more polished party look, but may not be obtainable or worth your wardrobe $$.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

We looked up photos of the venue. It does look fancy, and photos with people had blazers and cocktail type dresses. Hubby is considering a jacket now- the CEO of the company will be attending this event.

Unfrumped- I am struggling with the idea of having to buy new footwear. Both foot issues and ethical issues mean shoes are hard to find and expensive for me. I did find the below and am considering purchasing. They come in black and a nude color.

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kellygirl

Veteran

I like the dress and think those sandals will elevate. You could wear sparkly earrings or jewelry to add some festive sparkle.

Peri

Veteran

I think hubs needs to do a little more digging. I don't read the coworkers tux Q as meaning they don't know either, I take it as they know something and are trying to help him. What would be so wrong about him asking his boss what the dress code is? "We haven't been before and my wife is asking for some guidance." Perfectly normal question and way better than guessing.

Personally, I don't think your outfit reads as business holiday party. It looks boho beautiful for dinner with friends, but for business events the advice is usually to blend in, not stand out.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Peri- his boss was one of the coworkers who asked if he was renting a tux. She hasn’t been to one of these events before.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Ok, he has decided on a black ss button down shirt, a tweed vest, black pants, brown shoes, and we will look for a tie for him.( picture below). My slip dress coordinates very well with this. I could go either nude or black for the sandals. I feel like I would get more use from nude, though. I would want something to go over the slip dress, though. I don’t think I have anything appropriate other than a black blazer or pleather jacket.

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CarolS

Veteran

Hubs looks great! I'd call t creative debonair and I think it is a great approach when one isn't sure what others will wear. I suspect you will get a mix of everything. Your outfit sounds like a perfect complement to his. It's very taunting to feel compelled to put money out for new shoes for a single event...especially when, as you say, a shoe is expensive and hard to find.

Runcarla

Veteran

Don’t kill yourself, or wreck your budget for this event - but, it may be a sign of things to come. If you and the DH are on the way up with your careers, there may be more of this type of dressier event in the future.

It never hurts for the menfolk to have a dark suit jacket in the closet for weddings, funerals, interviews, dinner out with the client or boss, and dressier parties, and for you to have your version of the LBD (and not necessarily black.)

Something to think about!

JAileen

Veteran

Before he retired, my husband’s office had a very fancy holiday party. One guy wore a tux. Because he had it. My husband always wore a nice jacket and slacks and a bow tie. Mind you, they even didn’t wear ties to work. I always tried to make a festive outfit as inexpensively as possible. I’d find things at the thrift store, and one year I got a great red metallic dress/velvet jacket combo for 99 cents. I really enjoyed that one. I tried to get pieces that I could mix and match. The main thing is, you should enjoy the event if possible, and not spend a lot of money.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I think you and DH will look splendid in the outfits you posted (you in the dress and lace topper and he in the outfit above). I think the guy asking about the tux might just be confused - but more asking around makes sense.

jussie

Veteran

I think if black tie is expected ideally they should tell you clearly. Usually for black tie it would be communicated in the invitation…. If it’s such a formal event, then there should be a formal invitation process surely. Ok, rant over :).
I really love all three of the dresses you pictured; each is beautiful. The wedding dress is so pretty.
However….. for a black tie event I think the black slip dress is safest option. The other three dresses are so lovely but more funky/boho.
My second preference would be the wedding dress as it is. It may even work with the boots, as they’ll be partially covered and kind of go with the boho style.
If it were me, I might get a very cheap pair of dressy shoes from target or a discount shoe place and sit down most of the evening so as to avoid discomfort. Or look for a secondhand pair of better quality dressy shoes that you could wear again.
But like someone else mentioned, the main goal is to enjoy yourselves! With the type of work this company does I imagine they are a very inclusive bunch who have a healthy respect for diversity; so I don’t think it would matter if you did the evening in your own style

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

DH looks KILLER AWESOME!

Now you can match his dress code.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I like what Jussie says in her last paragraph and DH looks fab! I think you can go with what feels right to the two of you, not stress too much about it, but try to appear festive in whatever way suits you best -- and have fun!

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

I like your idea of the black slip dress, given your husband's choice. I think you'll be well matched. I like the way AllSaints styles theirs, with a cropped soft pullover, maybe with some sparkle (see Finds, and click through to see the pics). You can add a blingy necklace, earrings, and maybe bracelet, and still wear your black booties. Maybe a simple black clutch or crossbody bag.You can always remove the pullover or wear it shawl-style over your shoulders, too.

AllSaints Arta 2-in-1 Dress

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AllSaints Rosetta Tinsel Two Piece Sweater & Slipdress

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Barbara Diane

Veteran

If an email announced the party, I would have him email back and ask about dress expectations for men and women. If it was during a meeting I’d ask the person who announced it. Etc. I might even suggest to the person that perhaps that info should be disseminated as others also aren’t sure.

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