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Help me with professional looks... (long and whining)

catgirl

Veteran

Sorry to drag you all along on my most recent struggle... here goes. I have been seeing a lot more clients recently, and that has changed my proportion of dressy to casual days. Maybe that's part of my frustration with outfits and dressing recently. I can come up with two or even three outfits a week that look fully professional, but four or five is pushing it in terms of my tolerance and abilities.

I want to feel like me! Today's outfit didn't, even with the tweaks you all suggested. I think it's too matchy and conservative for me. I'm thinking a black skirt might have felt less "coordinated". But I'm at a loss as to what to do and still remain myself.

My go-to work outfit has been one of my two Eliza J. dresses. I'm struggling with pants, and now shoes (instead of boots) are an issue as well.

Short of changing careers, what can I do to feel edgy, colorful, fab and work-appropriate?!? Allsaints is not a good option for jackets, sadly - they never fit me right. Any ideas or examples you find would be welcomed with joy.

Dressing

39 replies

Latest reply was from Amy

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

How about investing in a Rag & Bone jacket?

http://www.stylebop.com/produc.....FQWQQm0Abw

http://www.stylebop.com/produc......IQhnvhkXw

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ra.....ojk81zTQSg

Heather

Veteran

Una, I think you are such an amazing person--inside and out!

I think your first step is to define exactly what would be edgy yet appropriate for your work attire.

I know you have spoken about your (type of) law practice before; therefore, I feel the need for defining the UWProfessional is necessary. That's why it's called Edge, right? There is a fine line.

Where is Aida? I think she could create a fab list of categories or a helpful outline for you?

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I know she's in Italy right now, but my first thought was Rae had just gone through this with her recent career shift. Perhaps look through her old work wear posts until she comes back and can offer first hand advice and suggestions??

ironkurtin

Veteran

I just posted on your other thread. How corporate do you need to look?

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Una - I feel badly that you're going through this frustration right now. Does your law office have a dress code that you need to adhere to?

I like Mo's idea of looking through Rae's work outfit posts. She did have similar frustrations in finding the balance between looking professional and keeping true to her style. I'm sure Angie would have some wonderful suggestions as well.

Sorry I can't be of more help - just letting ya know I'm thinking of you!

celia

Veteran

The change of work days versus casual days can really xplain your recent challenges in dressing.
Do you feel that you need to buy more work appropriate clothing or simply wear the ones you have in a different way? My point is that maybe if you have some items that scream work appropriate you will probably can add your fun items do te looks feel more you.

Jonesy

Veteran

My two cents is that you need to find several pairs of cool, edgy, trendy trousers. They lend themselves more readily to RATE/UWP looks, IMO, and they are simpler to pair up with shoes/booties/boots (no need to worry about coordinating hose, tights, etc.).

I know it's hard for you to find pants, but that's where I would start if I were you. Then you can mix and match with your tops and jackets and booties easily.

catgirl

Veteran

Shannon, I have my own office so the dress code is really up to me. But since I do estate planning and elder law, I can't scare the little old ladies too much with UWP looks, and I do have to go to court sometimes. So to answer IK, I don't need to look corporate, as that's not my practice, but I need to look like someone your grandmother would trust and tell if she were being financially exploited or abused.

I do have some good work appropriate items like a black sheath, some tailored jackets, and the Halogen pencil skirts in a couple of colors. But they feel so dull in tandem. I think it's the corporate silhouette. Boots really edge it up for me, but I cant' wear boots every day of the summer.

Jonesy, that is a great suggestion. I wonder if I can make the Rag/Bone silk cargos work...

Anna, I LOVE that second jacket - too bad it's gone in my size! I'm assuming I'd be a 6...

celia

Veteran

I see....are there any edgier sandals/shoes you can wear?

Anonymous

Una - In all honesty, I think it is hard to UWP-fy a lawyer, especially when going to court. Sadly, one must make sacrifices in the name of career advancement, tell me about it. I think you halogen skirts are a good starting point, plus you already have beautiful blouses and blazers. I would get me a couple pairs of killer trousers and a pair of nude pumps or shoes. Whay about oxfords?

Isabel

Veteran

Una, not that I have any solutions, but I totally get that if you are working with older people who may be reticent in the first place to deal with plans for their money, you have to look very reputable and trustworthy. Add to that your residence and that is a problem. With that said, since you don't see the same people every day, you could just start with the stuff you really like, a small capsule, and wear things more than once a week for starters.

I also think that you can start small...maybe just the shoes at first, or a long necklace or bold cuff, or a really great jacket. At least one UWP item that makes you feel really good.

I think that you definitely do open toe bootie type shoes or a tamer Fleuvog.

One thing that I read a long time ago, was pick a more "neutral" color but a bolder design.

Isabel

Veteran

Would you consider something like this in the steel blue ?

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/pi.....80-0-0-1-2

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Una, I am sorry you are struggling with this now and I so identify with this kind of wardrobe angst. It is all the more frustrating because you have been at this some time and (quite reasonably) feel it should be easier by now! Sometimes I wonder if it ever gets easier.

Anyway, you're further along this style-defining journey than I am, but something Steph said to me might have some relevance to you in this current dilemma. Back in the fall when I was muttering about wanting to look like an "artistic professional" or something of the sort, she suggested to me that one way to capture the essence of what I was after might be to build a backbone of classic pieces (e.g. the Halogen skirt) and in each outfit, ensure I also included Imogen's "third piece" (the starring player) in a more dramatic or attention grabbing style...more of a "statement" piece.

Well, in some ways UW professional princesses and "artistic professionals" are sisters. I know that basics tend to bore you. And you really don't feel like yourself when you are wearing them. And yet...you are a lawyer and can't scare your clients away. So maybe if you focus, for the work capsules, on keeping most of the outfit "professional" and making one or two pieces UWP. And in terms of shopping, maybe for the first while it would make sense simply to narrow down WHICH pieces would be your UWP pieces. Eventually, you would probably switch this up; but for the first outfit or two, it might be jackets (as those provide structure and the most visible bang for the buck, so to speak, but can also be removed if you encounter a really timid client) and/or footwear.

Now, I know you already own lots of great UWP jackets and footwear. What else do you need to make those outfits work? THOSE are the pieces to buy. And just create a couple of outfits for this capsule. If you don't see the same people every day, you don't need to wear a different outfit every day. At least at first.

Later on you might switch out the jacket for the great pants (as Jonesy suggests...but if pants are tough for you to find, you need something in the meantime).

Also, I have been learning a lot from Shannon's "rubric" approach. She thinks in terms of one thing from each of her key categories—Structure, Rugged, Urban, Retro or Vintage (I might not have her categories exactly correct).

Vix

Veteran

Hi Una --

I replied in your quilted black swing jacket and had a few of the same thoughts as Suz, though she's spelled it all out so much better.

And Isabel and Zapotee have also offered some great "how to suck it up with a minimum amount of pain" -- or decide to risk alienating clients/potential clients due to
dress.

[Which hey: I can get behind. I think one just has to own it vs be in denial about it.]

I would rx you:

* some boring-but-not-QUITE-as-boring-as-they-could be cuts in neutrals aka straight leg seasonless wool pants; silk blouses with more volume vs a standard shell or button-front; jackets with something interesting aka non-Brooks Brothers

* classic cuts in fun colors and/or textures (which you have via the colored Halogen pencils, the black leather swing jacket, and you MAY have in dresses and jackets/sweaters...not sure what the Magic Closet holds)

* "personality shoes" (and jewelry, if that's your thing...I can see you in smooth bold metals, don't know if you can!) edit to say I think you're covered in the shoe dept but I'm terrible at tracking stuff like that

Then I'd have you mix up your Lawyer Una formula based on the rubric thing.

Ana

(website)

Veteran

You've gotten a lot of great suggestions and I don't have any advice about looking work-appropriate, since I wear casual pretty much all the time. I just wanted to chime in and generally lend support. I know you've been feeling down lately about your wardrobe. I'm sorry. : ( For what it's worth, I do think you are super stylish, and I ALWAYS enjoy clicking on your WIW posts. : )

Scarlet

Veteran

Una, so assuming we are not talking about being in court, where I would think you just have got to be gob-stopping conservative, wouldn't it be pretty easy to get a great pant suit and pair it with kick-ass shoes and interesting blouses? I mean just develop a uniform for this kind of situation that you can throw together pretty quickly. I have really good luck with Theory suit pieces in their stretch lightweight wool material. The sky would be the limit in terms of interesting tops/accessories you could pair it with, but the suit automatically conveys a level of professionalism and authority. Also you could wear it multiple times in the week and just change the clothes that are underneath. I know this look is too casual, but I love this post from Angie that shows how flexible a suit can be:
http://youlookfab.com/2011/03/.....d-up-suit/

ManidipaM

Veteran

Una, I'm so sorry this is such a frustrating transition. Careerwise, it sometimes seems like the higher up you go, the harder it is to breathe and just *be*. However, I want to say that I really admire your style --- you're one of the people I most love to watch on YLF, because you sense of personal style and individuality is awe-inspiring. I actually hope to be more like you some day, some time.

That said, what Isabel said was just what I was thinking: "pick a more "neutral" color but a bolder design." Or, maybe pick a very classic design in one of the conversational prints? Or, as Vix suggested, a classic piece in a more on-trend colour. The key might be to do just ONE of these at a time --- ie, not have the quilted booties plus the blue Halogen skirt plus the bird-print blouse all in ONE outfit for work, at least. I know that bit of dialing back without going all wan on yourself is hard; but I think (as others have mentioned looking at Rae, for example) it should be possible.

Don't forget your hair already adds plenty of edge to your style to begin with! Even in a conservative suit!. For court appearances, where you *really* have to pull back on the quirk and edge factors, maybe this is the perfect time to stock up on conversational prints. And I'd go for something a little more subtle than skulls and bones --- more like thorny roses and chains and such --- to signal the warrior in UWP. Lean harder on the princess there? (Less Rapunzel, more Mulan.)

christieanne

Veteran

Sorry you are frustrated lately. The weather change must have some factor beyond shoes (I would think you all suffer from some breakup blues at some point up in AK).
Resolving the shoe thing should be easy to sort - Fluevogs would be killer on you. You need a couple of signature shoes. Open toed bootie? Heeled oxford? Funky pump/sandal.

For the rest - it's maybe becoming resigned to sporting one fabulous piece and repeating some skirts or pants. Is it the fit in pants that bothers you? Maybe you have to let the full on UWP come out on non client days and weekends and on the other days, layer the blazer over it. That way when you strip off the jacket, the inner UWP can emerge.

Let's face it, most of the world is boring. I would think grandmothers and elderly folks and their adult children,etc. will love you for having both sides - serious side but with flair.

fashionista

Veteran

May be I could help you a little bit since I am facing the same situation.
Start with some really fitting and investment pieces trousers in black, grey and navy blue. Custom make some button down shirts in both rich dark colors and also in light colors. Mix and match and have fun. That's exactly what I am doing.

If you have a dress code adhere to it with some fun blouses and accessories.

Ankle length mid heeled booties and black pumps are the best shoes I find for professional look with the trousers.

I may have helped you a bit in this.

Amy

(website)

Veteran

Una, I feel for you. While I thought you looked very nice in the outfit you posted recently, and would totally wear that myself, I can see how you may have felt that it wasn't authentically Una.

My office recently had a guest give a presentation on professional behavior and attire. She gently critiqued our outfits, which was a bit uncomfortable for me given that I am new to the office and am still trying to get a feel for expectations here.

She said my earrings were too big, my dress too trendy and suede boots too informal. She praised my black jacket and the fact that I was wearing hose.

I walked out of there feeling like the only thing that would get a stamp of approval was a matching suit over a button down with a starched collar, small "tasteful" earrings, hose and closed-toe leather pumps, no higher than 2 inches.

BORING!!!!!!

I do understand, however, that in business we can't always dress for ourselves. Sometimes, we have to dress to show respect for our clients or to put people at ease.

I think--with some work--you can find a way to preserve your personal style, but also make appropriate concessions to your clients, judges, etc. Finding neutral colored pieces with interesting design details would also be what I'd do in your situation. That second Rag & Bone jacket would be ideal.

Lots of sympathy and best wishes from me.

catgirl

Veteran

My goodness, Amy - that sounds HARSH - or like a scene from "The Office". Especially because I adore your style. Imagine how boring women's workwear used to be back when it was all a uniform in the 80s? Ugh.

So many great suggestions here. Thank you all so much. Any thoughts on places to find a suit? Nordstrom doesn't show many paired jackets and pants. j. crew?

bj1111

Veteran

theory suits are superb and lend themselves to rate-ification.

Scarlet

Veteran

I would check Theory first.

MsMary

Veteran

Ann Taylor for suits? Their dress pants turned out to be the Holy Grail of office pants for me.

And I second the idea of finding a few Super Lawyer looks that you love, and wearing them as often as necessary until something equally stellar comes along.

For the client meetings, maybe some more fab dresses?

And finally, can you reconcile dressing a little more conservatively by thinking of it as a costume? UWP in disguise?

MsMary

Veteran

Thinking about this some more. There are a few ways to go with this, I think.

1. Classic silhouettes (pencil skirts, blazers, sheath dresses, pumps) in fun colors. That is what I do almost exclusively, and I'm really happy with it. But as you noted, the shapes are verra verra corporate and I don't think that's your bag.

2. Less-classic silhouettes (swing jackets, slouchy pants, asymetrical hemlines) in subdued colors. This seems much more your cup of tea.

3. Either of the above in unusual fabrics (leather, suede, quilted, hand-woven, sheer with underlayer, even a teeny tiny bit of subdued sparkle).

4. Full-on corporate (dark suit in a traditional cut) with amazing accessories and/or footwear.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

The perfect mix of subdued corporate and UWP = conservative suit with studded bra underneath!

(sorry...I know that's not helpful....)

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I just wanted to chime in late to say that *you* bring the edge to your clothing Una.

I am also nodding sympathetically because I also work in an environment where I am unable to flex my style muscle.

cinnamon fern

Veteran

I love Theory suits ... but I warn you, they tend to be very narrow in the shoulders.

Scarlet

Veteran

I have pretty broad shoulders for my size (shoulders are 39" in circumference, at least I took it this is broad from the body double thread where I discovered why I don't fit petite sizing). However the breadth is just my bones, not muscle (I could never be a good swimmer). A size 2 fits me great. If I were more muscular maybe I would look at a 4P? Angie would know.

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