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Help dress the IT, please.

kellygirl

Veteran

Hi Fabbers! Hoping that I can call on the collective wisdom of the forum to get some help with dress selection. To say we are struggling a bit is an understatement. Every dress DD has tried makes her feel like a line backer. I'm beginning to think I'm missing something--or just used to being an IT. Do you think the second and third accentuate the shoulders in an unflattering way? (The first photo is the junior prom dress for Comparison.) Do you think she should stick with strapless? Thanks in advance!

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35 replies

Latest reply was from catgirl

Debbie

Veteran

I love the 3rd dress. I think she look beautiful in it. I think the fact that the length is too long is throwing the whole dress off. The strapless dress also looks beautiful on her but I believe she is not limited to strapless.

kellygirl

Veteran

Thanks, Debbie. I LOVE the third dress on her. I thought the netting and the armholes were very flattering. It was my favorite although I liked almost every dress on her. She has yet to find one that doesn't make her look "un proportional"--in her opinion. I guess we'll keep looking--just wanted to make sure I wasn't missing something.

Echo

Veteran

She has a beautiful figure, and her shoulders are not too prominent at all. She looks beautiful in everything! FWIW, if she truly feels she has to disguise her shoulders (which she does NOT - they are perfectly proportional), either the second or the third are perfect. The second tricks the eye by not drawing it straight across the shoulder line, and the third keeps the focus in the center instead of outward toward the shoulders. But she has nothing to hide and would likely look stunning in absolutely anything.

Dee

Veteran

They both look great! But if the goal is to truly disguise her shoulders, the high neckline on the third one combined with the slightly more voluminous bottom looks very balanced to me.

kellygirl

Veteran

Thanks so much for articulating why these styles work. You have given me some ideas on what to help her look for. It's probably her age that makes her so critical--I would love to look this "un proportional" in a dress!

columbine(erin)

Veteran

The third one is my favorite for her.

kellygirl

Veteran

Thanks, Dee! I agree. I thought she looked very balanced in that dress--and elegant.

Thanks, Columbine! You are all so helpful.

Vix

Veteran

Hi Kelly (and Kelly's DD) --

As much as I think your lovely DD and her shoulders look amazing, it's definitely all about her *feeeeling* great!

IF her goal is to create balance between her hips and shoulders, then styles like #2 are perfect. [I mean *I* think #2 is perfect, but if she's not sure....] The strap coming in closer to her neck, the draping effect at the waist/hip, and the way the one-shouldered style creates a diagonal line are all good.

#3 is interesting. Again with her goal in mind, I think it doesn't quite do the job because the overall effect is that of strapless, which emphasizes the shoulder line. Also the upper mesh part seems to be cutting into her armpits a bit, which might heighten the feeling of "aaah, upper body focus." I think she might like that same racer-back style with a bit more cut-in and a single fabric.

Attaching lots of red carpet photos of Hilary Swank, since she seems to have a very similar shape to your DD's.

Hilary often wears strapless, halter, and spaghetti straps styles that emphasize her gorgeous shoulders, but I picked the ones where she seems to be trying for a more hourglass look with the closer-set strap(s) and waist/hip detailing. You'll see DD's #2 shares lots of similarities with them!

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qfbrenda

Veteran

I love the 3rd one as well. I couldn't have articulated why, but after reading what Debbie and Echo said, I'll say, "What they said!"

anne

Veteran

I'm with Vix on number 3. As someone with fairly square shoulders, though not IT, I've always felt that that cut often emphasizes the shoulders and I think Vix worked out the reason why. I prefer number 2. (Maybe I'm biased because my favorite cocktail dress ever is one shouldered in the same colour!)

Carole

Veteran

Your daughter is beautiful!!! (Just like her mom) As a fellow IT, I'm familiar with the angst of downplaying the broad shoulder line...all dresses look lovely but number 2 is most flattering to my eye.

rachylou

Veteran

The third with hair up and heels I think would be pretty darn perfect, proportion wise. I rather feel the strapless/one-strap is shortening DD's torso, visually... Like its a torso thing not actually a shoulder thing...

Sheila

Veteran

Love her shoulders ! They look well cut- beautiful.

I like # 3 and she looks great in black just not sure how it will stand out in a sea of Jr Prom colors.

Agree with Rachylou in the torso shortening of # 2.

Anonymous

Your daughter looks gorgeous in all these dresses. She could wear either 2 or 3, but I'm with Vix and Anne on preferring 2. I think the shoulder strap and detail in that dress draw the eye up, taking the focus off the shoulders and drawing the eye up to her pretty face. Plus, the rich cobalt blue looks so elegant on her. I like 3 just fine, so it's absolutely a contender. But I'd have liked it slightly more if the strapline hit a bit farther out on the shoulders, not as close to the neck. I also feel the neckline detail would widen anyone's shoulders because it pulls the eye in to a more central focal point. Still, I don't see any 'linebacker' effect here at all. Your DD is a beautiful girl with a lovely shoulder line and figure. She could rock either of these gowns, so she should choose the one she loves best.

Anonymous

So firstly, I wish and dream for your daughter's beautiful shoulders!

I like all the suggestions so far. Perhaps the lack of material on the shoulder and neckline in her junior prom dress was what made her feel comfortable in it?

Despite that, I still like dress #3 the best on her...the netting is flattering and I like her hair up.

Momo

Veteran

I love 2 and 3! I actually think strapless emphasizes the shoulders more ( which are lovely by the way!)

Sheila

Veteran

The extra height of the updo in #3 draws my eye up and thus away from the shoulders. With the #2 dress, which is lovely, all I see is shoulders. Just my humble opinion.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I LOVE #2. That's killer, and offsets the width of the shoulder line. What a gorgeous you have, Kelly. Takes after her amazing Mama.

Liz A.

Veteran

#3 is by far the most flattering, especially if minimizing shoulder width is the goal. And hair up is the way to go!

Gigi

Veteran

I really like 3. I feel like the vertical emphasis of the dress, with the high neckline and the mesh top, distracts from the shoulders and draws the eye up and down instead of side to side.

bella

(website)

Veteran

I like both dresses on her, but ultimately it's her opinion that counts - so keep looking!

Laurie

Veteran

If you had handed me these photos and just asked when I thought/saw, the last (very last) thing I would have noticed is the width of this gorgeous girl's shoulders! I would simply have noticed how beautiful her arms and shoulders look.

At first I was drawn to #3 the most - I've always loved that sweetheart neckline/mesh look. But #2 is really something. It is glamorous and sophisticated and unexpected. I think it makes a real style statement.

I'm pretty sure this young lady can't go wrong in anything she tries on with your guidance and help!

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

Why am I not surprised that you have a stunningly beautiful daughter. Takes after mama. I love all three looks, they all work well on her. (Sorry no help!) I love her hair in waves, worn down, as shown in #1. I think that style would work with dress 2 as well.

L'Abeille

Veteran

I see no issues with any of those dresses. But when I was her age, I too was self-conscious about my wide shoulders (not any more; it's the only feature I share with supermodels). Here is what I eventually figured out about proportions:

1. No horizontal lines across the top (strapless with a straight-across bodice included). Rather, aim for something that draws the eye down and in to the waist, such as a deep V, wrap, or surplice effect in the bodice. The diagonal line of the one shouldered dress is a variation on this. Or a deep U shape created by trim or a n eye-catching necklace.

2. Width at the hem will counterbalance width at the top, whether it's a full skirt, a gentle flare, or a mermaid /fishtail look. The long skinny column is IT elegant, but it sounds like she isn't yet ready to embrace it.

rachylou

Veteran

2 *is* more fun, spectacular, youthful. Maybe with hair up?

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

I like the cut in shape of the shoulders on the third one, but she's so gorgeous that the brighter color may be better.

Anonymous

The third dress is awesome! However, I think she may look good in a brighter color as UmmLila said. Also, the strapless one from Junior year looked beautiful on her!

Mochi

Veteran

What a radiant daughter! She will look gorgeous in whatever she wears.

DonnaF

Veteran

My DD, now 22, is an IT with shoulders a size or two larger than the rest of her. What works for her are cut in shoulders like the 3rd dress or one shouldered dresses cut on the diagonal; unlike your daughter, her *girls* wouldn't really fill out the second dress! Your daughter looks lovely in both dresses, but I'm wondering if the 3rd dress feels too old and sophisticated for her? I suppose it depends upon what the other girls are wearing. . .

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