Read the other comments and figured I should post a pic as well!

My hair has been many shades of blonde over the years. But this was taken this week -- about a year grown out. Can you see the grey?

I have read all the comments with a great deal of interest as this feels very pertinent to me.l think the feeling of wanting to change your hair quite often comes on at times of change in one s life,be it a reaction to reaching a certain age or to life events.I have also recently felt a change was due in the Barnet department but I am constrained by several things .One, my face shape is more suited to Styles that reach below the jaw line.l notice the fabbers who rock the pixie cut,Angie and Suz spring to mind,have oval shaped faces and large eyes,perfect for such a cut.Two,my hair quality is poor,very fine and thin.Three,l am not particularly grey.l would love to give up dyeing my hair and embrace the silver but I am very patchily grey and it’s not an attractive look.I have therefore rung the changes with colour,not as drastic as losing length and easily changed if I decide I don’t like it.l offer up all these things not as a moan about being last in the hair queue but just as thoughts to help you make your decision .l would be tempted to keep the curls but go grey if you have enough to warrrant it.

It’s such a personal decision. Each of us has to know when we are ready to do something drastic.

Me, nope. I’m not ready. The idea of stopping the grey coverage is very appealing in some ways, but I don’t believe I have the type of hair or the greying pattern that looks terribly attractive left to itself. My hair is already kind of difficult — it’s thinning, wavy, and the texture is such that it always has a mind of its own and never looks the same from one day to the next. And not in a good way.

I also haven’t had very short hair in over 25 years, and I don’t know what the heck I will do when it’s time to give up the coloring. I can’t imagine myself in a pixie — it just doesn’t seem at all like me.

My husband reassures me that he loves my hair, curly, straight, grey, dark, whatever. He’s really the only person other than myself that I would be concerned about pleasing with a change in hair.

I think this is easier for blondes — changing from a warmer tone of light hair to a cooler one. For brunettes, we are dealing with not only a change in tone, but also going from a dark head of hair to a light one. It’s a big adjustment.

Are you feeling like making a couple of big changes all at once? Or would you be more comfortable making one change and seeing how you feel from there?

I went grey in 2013, and was about your age, April. I had been thinking about it for awhile. As is obvious now, my roots were a problem. And I felt like I was wasting money. It was when I saw one of my brothers, and thought his grey looked better than my brown hair. This photo is from this fall, and shows I’m very grey. My husband likes it. If he didn’t, too bad! As you can see, I wear color that works with my hair. No more beige for me. I wear grey, blue, olive, and I’ve also added pink.

My actual transition was made easier by my stylist doing highlights with peroxide to minimize the skunk stripe. I think she did that for about four months. Also, she started cutting my hair shorter and shorter. I’ve been going to her for years and trust her judgement.

Hmm, I thought I had a saved album of my before and after hair, but I can't find it right now. At 46, I decided enough was enough and cut off all my dyed dark hair into a short pixie (I had been growing it out for a few months and it grows pretty quickly, so the pixie looked grey.) My then 8 year old daughter burst into tears when she saw me.
It took a couple of years before I stopped being taken aback by that grey haired lady in the mirror. I have gotten loads of compliments from younger women in particular.
It can be dyed back. It does grow back. It will make you feel older and sometimes be treated as an elderly person for people who don't really look at you. I hate dealing with my hair, so for me it is still worth it. Plus I like it!

Jaime, that sentence “it will make you feel older” is refreshingly honest, and that is really what stops me from making this change. I *don’t* generally feel my age (53) — whether it’s denial or luck or whatever, I feel so much like a 30-something that it’s a bit of a shock to me to look in the mirror see how my face and skin are aging. I do not have the benefit of young-looking skin for my age. My hair is the one sign of my age that I have some measure of control over, so I guess I’m going to stick with manipulating it for now.

Natural grey hair is beautiful, and we have many forum members who look fantastic with it. However, I do agree with Janet's comment that for those with darker hair, the transition is likely to be harder because visually it is a more dramatic change.

My mother had dark hair and when she had a stroke, her head was shaved during an operation to save her life. She grew back her hair grey. However, she just did not like her patchy grey hair and so had her hair dyed back to her former brown. It made her feel like herself and that was the most important thing. Yes, she had grey regrowth between hair appointments, but was happier with that than being her natural colour which to be honest really washed her out and given her disability she could not apply make-up to brighten her face. She loved her monthly hair appointments and regular blow outs to make her feel fab.

I have my hair streaked light blonde having dark blonde natural hair and have done so since my teens. I have noticed that the grey strands in my roots helps my regrowth blend. As I have always dyed my hair, I don't see hair colour as something to make me look younger, it is just a preference for what hair colour I prefer. At this stage I am not ready for natural hair because I don't like what nature gave me. I can imagine in retirement I may experiment with coloured hair (mauve seems fun to me) because this is something that I can not have given my conservative job.

I got tired of the dye maintenance years ago, and I let it go grey. I haven't looked back. At the same time, I started growing out my under shave, and have kept it medium length since then. I am leaning towards growing it out long again, but it took me years to get here.

Not me, but a friend who was greying a lot did. She went from long and auburn to short curly blonde. Then grew the blonde, overdyed it with purples, and now its blonde with aqua! Another friend left her grey hair long, and dyed it with pink Another just put a streak of pink in the bangs of her grey hair.

I haven't read all the comments yet (will later) but I also decided to let my gray grow out. The last time I dyed my hair was December 2016. By July 2017, I cut it into a messy wavy pixie and there was still a bit of dyed hair at the ends. I have no dye left now and my hair is in a wavy layered shoulder-length bob. I will keep it at this length for now but will likely go shorter again too. My hair is more salt and pepper towards the back with noticeable gray streaks in the front.

These are all helpful factors to think about.

I also agree with Janet about the change being more stark for brunettes. And thank you, Shevia, for saying that the shock of seeing a gray-haired person in the mirror can take a while to get over. I'm pretty sure that will be true for me if I decide to go gray.

I'm still shocked by it sometimes, too. I mean the grey-haired woman in the mirror.

But you know...I have seen it as a fun challenge. I *do* look "washed out" if I don't put on a bit of lipstick and fix my brows. But, I looked just as washed out with the dyed blonde, and I also looked a bit ill. (This was only in the latter few years of colouring -- although I may be kidding myself, I think it worked until I had reached a key proportion of grey -- and then suddenly, anything yellow toned was just wrong for my complexion.)

What I didn't anticipate was how FUN it would be to learn how to dress for this new hair -- how I'd be looking at different colours, accessories, etc. and how, basically, it was just like the fun of dying except without the work!

Good to be known for something here!

My grey came in early, and I had been coloring my hair since age 30. (I turn 50 this May.) I hated going to the salon and all the yucky chemicals but needed to go every 4 weeks. My original hair color was dark brown, so there was a lot of contrast between that and the grey.

In 2014 I left my full time job and started consulting. At that point I wanted to move towards being more authentic overall, and my grey hair was part of that. I had also cut my budget and felt like hair coloring was a waste of money.

It took about a year to grow out. My stylist did some highlights so it didn't stand out as much.

Now, my hair is grey. I only need to go in for a haircut when I feel like it -- maybe every 3-4 months. I don't miss coloring my hair!

When I look at pictures, perhaps I was prettier or younger looking with brown hair. Sometimes I think I'll color it again. But then I think about what was involved, and decide to hold out a little longer. People have told me I have good skin (not too much time in the sun!), which helps.

I realize that some workplaces have unwritten expectations that women will color their hair. Fortunately I run my own business so can make my own rules! My grey hair is a part of my brand -- which is authentic and direct with my clients.

Hope that helps. When someone mistakes me for my daughters' grandmother (they're 9 & 11), I feel less excited to be grey But when I think of the time I don't have to spend in the salon, it's a big motivation.

I'm writing from my iPad, but will see if I can find some photos later.

My hair is currently the shortest it has been in a long time, and in general I love it - it feels very me - but I occasionally worry that it is aging. And I'm also noticing some gentle changes in my features (age, again) that I realize are now more visible, since my hair is short.

I have been coloring my hair for years, but not dramatically - just some blondish highlights to break up the brown. Ironically, after my last highlight job, I had at least 5 people (and probably more) say: "I love your hair! It's so awesome that you are going natural!" Maybe when you reach a certain age, blonde reads as gray? It's making me think maybe I should just give up at the highlights after all. But I'm not ready to be totally gray (although I appreciate that choice by others).

Hi again --

Nice to see the added pics since I posted! Shiny, your natural mix of colors looks beautiful and -- to Viva's point -- I do think many blondes end up looking like they're still highlighting and vice versa.

A blonde friend of mine stopped highlighting in her late 70s due to thinning and breakage, and whenever we get together I jokingly, say, "oh, coloring again?" because she looks almost exactly the same.

Inversely, a mid-life blonde with a teenager stopped coloring (looked amazing IMO) and then told me she started up again because she was "feeling old." But I have to stop myself from saying, "oh you went back to natural" when I run into her because her colored/natural is so similar.

Having had a zillion convos about dyeing during/after, I can tell you that the blondes and light browns always say, "oh you're so lucky to have the contrast, my grey is ugly" and the brunettes always say, "oh I could never stop, the contrast wouldn't look good and I'd look old, if I were blonde maybe" or "I couldn't handle being light-haired."

Basically when you're ready you're ready and when you're not you're not.

It took me a few years to work up to it. I finally just couldn't stand the thought of dyeing every 3-4 weeks til some TBD date. The idea of dyeing into my 70s like the women in my family felt oppressive. Plus I felt like it'd be easier to start while I was still partially brunette since that's a big part of my visual identity.

So yes, I do get a big of a shock in the mirror because hi, I'm not a dark brunette anymore haha. It'd literally be the same shock if I were a dyed redhead or blonde -- but minus the societal "Grey = Old."

ps Thank you Suz! I really thought we'd end up Hair Twins when I got done and remain a bit bummed to not have your beautiful shade, but Shevia and I are still the streakers.

Just wanted to add my before and after photo - it is about 15 years difference between. And short hair picture from about 7 years ago.

My grey started coming in a few years ago, much more noticeable the last two years. I had to make a decision at that point to color (I had not colored my hair for many years prior to that) or let it go. I let it go, which is a fairly brave decision because I teach (grades K-8).

My hair is a fairly dark auburn, so the grey is noticeable. To my delight, it has decided to come in most strongly at the front of my part, beginning to give me a streak in front. I had a fifth grade boy tell me last year that I needed to start dying my hair because it was getting grey. I laughed and asked him, "Why should I cover it? I'm OLD!" He looked puzzled, as if not coloring it had never occurred to him. I'm sure his mum probably does, which is why. I had some middle schoolers tell me the other day that I was going grey. I laughed and told them they could take credit for that! And my current group of fifth graders argue constantly about my age. One of them says my hair is getting grey, so I must be in my fifties. Another says my face is clearly younger than his mum's, so I have to be under 42. I always tell them that I am far older than they could ever imagine. No matter what age they suggest, I respond, "Older!"

FWIW, I just turned 48. Aside from the men in the building, I am the only woman with natural hair (perhaps aside from those who are in their first years of teaching, though they still color their hair blonde or highlight). Many of them color right before pictures every year. I just figure that regardless of whether I was 35 or 65, young students would consider me unimaginably old. They have no concept of age, and they think I'm ancient anyway, so why hide it?

Anchie, I love those pictures! Your current style/color is my favorite (probably because it is the "you" that I know) - but it's interesting, I strongly prefer it to the shorter grey do. Your sophisticated blunt bob is really amazing in grey. (And hence, once again the voice in my head is saying: grow it out!!! That voice will just never shut up.)

Because I didn't dye my hair the greying has been gradual although I did reach a tipping point where people started to comment on it, often in the most complimentary way. I have wondered sometimes if they just felt compelled to be supportive, but I've gotten more compliments on my hair and questions about grooming in the past five years than in all the years previous.

Reading these comments, I can see that it seems very dramatic to some people but remember that your hair IS whatever color it is wether you dye it or not, so if you stop, it's not like you're "going" grey, it's more like you're revealing an existing state.

You might also find that your complexion is more harmonious, in the best way, with your natural color

I'm in agreement with Vix about people with whatever colour insisting that it is easier for people of a different colour to go grey. I don't believe that. I think those of you who say that just don't want to do it. Which is up to you, but clearly both can't be true if blondes say it's easier for brunettes and brunettes say it's easier for blondes.
Also, what is so "brave" about going grey? There are many kinds of bravery in this world. Christine Blasey Ford (sp?) was brave. Having your hair the colour nature made it, whether slowly or quickly, not so much. I agree with Isabel above. You're just revealing an existing state. You may feel older- but you are the age you are, and we've already discussed the alternative.
Resident forum grump signing off. It's been a long day. I need Rachylou to make a great joke right now.

gardenchick's comment about authenticity is really ringing in my ears, as it were.....sometimes all of this colouring and makeup, and worrying about clothes and blah blah blah gets very exhausting . I think I may be looking at transitioning to a natural colour very soon......or perhaps I'm just exhausted from lack of a decent sleep in a month

Isabel wrote:
"You might also find that your complexion is more harmonious, in the best way, with your natural color"

I agree 100% with this. In recent years I just couldn't get the hair color right -- it'd be too warm toned or too cool toned and it looked jarring against my aging, fading, crepey skin. I thought this made the wrinkles were more noticeable. I recall this with my husband as well, before he stopped dying (my husband has very dry skin, never wears sunscreen, and has deep wrinkles).

I might not yet have a lot of gray, but more interesting to me is the natural underlying color change -- the blonde is neither cool nor warm toned. It's neutral. It's also lighter than what it was when I started dying. And I do think it looks more harmonious with the changes in my skin. I'm kind of glad I stopped when I did as the change over to gray will be more gradual this way, rather than sudden (like when my husband left home one day a red head and came home that evening a silver fox).

What's more, I spent so much $ on hair color over the last 20 years. I am now enjoying being able to get my hair cut with much more frequency (every 5-6 weeks) because I can easily afford it! And salon visits take no longer than an hour now! That in itself is worth it!

This is a fab topic and I, too, have been "processing" this. I stopped highlighting my hair two years ago, in January, and I was hoping to see something truly unique. Well, I guess it is unique for me, however, it's a multitude of colors, grey, blond, brown, dark blonde, silver, and as one person said, my hair looks "taupe" and she said it when I was wearing a taupe jacket. Perhaps I have chameleon hair at the moment and that, too, will change as I age.

As for hairstyles, I've secretly wanted to ask Angie which hairstyle or haircut she fancies for me, because I admire her style so much. I recall she said something to Suz shortly before Suz chose the beautiful pixie.

Like some here on YLF, my hair is thinning and receding and straight. I've been wearing a bob for quite a while and would like to find something that's a modern, edgy classic and easy to maintain.

I missed my appointment for highlighting this week because I was sick--what I see coming in at week 12 is lots of dark brown hair with a smattering of grey at my temples and at the crown. Vix, you look great with your brown and grey hair but looking at myself in the mirror it's just a very drab and somewhat harsh look. The highlighting makes me feel a bit brighter. I don't see it as trying to look younger (at 60 I'm quite sure I don't look 40) nor do I equate coloring or not coloring ones hair with authenticity, which seems to me to come from a deeper place. To me changing ones hair color to any degree seems much the same as wearing lipstick or make-up. I would guess that very few of us do none of the above.

I feel the same way you do, Jill.

I’m really glad that attitudes towards hiding grey hair seem to be changing, and I am 100% in support of everyone doing their own thing when it comes to hair, clothing, whatever. Several of my BFFs have never colored their hair in their lives (in fact, I’m a bit of a minority in my circle in that regard), and I would never advise them to do otherwise because it doesn’t feel right to them (even though some of their spouses are not so supportive).

I love the mention of “authenticity” in this context. To me at this stage of my life, “revealing what is already there” does NOT feel authentic to me and how I feel. I wish it did because I would save a bunch of money and time, LOL. So just a reminder that what feels authentic to one person does not necessarily feel that way to another. Just as it feels authentic to me to wear a leather jacket and someone else might feel like a poseur in it.

My sister, who is ten years my senior, stopped covering her grey two years ago. I used to joke that I had to keep covering my grey at least as long as she did, because it would seem weird to be the younger but greyer sister. Heck, maybe I’ll change my mind next year, but maybe I’ll wait until I’m in my 60s too!

Well to me, it feels partly about authenticity. This is who I am. What you see is what you get. A bit of lipstick and blusher is more surface. I appreciate that my view is not everyone's. To me it is also fighting ageism and it is feminist. These are personal views.

Can I sit on the fence here? Because to me it is both/ and, not either/ or.

What I'm saying is that it does feel more authentic to me to wear my natural colour. I see it as a feminist and anti-ageist act, as you do, Jenni. Conveniently, it is also cheaper, and probably healthier for the environment and possibly for me personally as well.

But I am not sure I would pay as much attention to those factors -- or show the grey -- if I hadn't also felt that the dye had come to look inauthentic on me.

In other words, if I felt that I still looked great as a blonde, I'd probably still be dyeing it.

And if I had not liked the effect of my silver (more or less, most of the time) I probably would dye it again!

It was only when I began to feel as Shiny described -- I couldn't get the right tone of blonde, it always looked "off" -- that I decided to stop dyeing.

My initial decision is based on aesthetics as much as anything else. Others might disagree with my estimation that the grey suits me, and that's okay.

Meanwhile, others who are dyeing look wonderful with their dyed locks. And that is great, too! I mean -- I don't think it would in inauthentic for me to add a pink or purple streak to my grey.

What Suz said in the post right above, but condensed even more:

Brunette friend who dyes: "I'm shocked you're quitting. I thought you were too vain."

Me, with about 3" of roots: "I'm quitting BECAUSE I'm vain."

A few practical tips for "mixed" brunettes with a lot of grey around the temples who're thinking about quitting -- esp if you don't want to do a big chop:

• When I was dyeing and hit the 3-week/1" regrowth mark I'd always think, "man, gotta get have a touch-up, I look exhausted." With about 5-6" of roots, I started looking fresher. There's something about those early roots that really saps the face, I don't know what/why. Use a temp root touch up powder/spray/wand if it really bothers you.

• Real talk: because I jumped in without much prep, I was pretty shocked/horrified to see that having longer roots around my face made me look like I had a receding hairline. This lovely effect goes away once you hit a certain critical point of growout! I avoided the faux-balding-at-hairline look by having zigzag lowlights put in. IF I were doing it again, I'd probably have lowlights done around my temples, too, even though it draws out the process.

• I highlighted 2/year as it was supposed to help my grey growout blend in. Don't do what I did -- decide to stop color 6 weeks post-highlighting -- or you'll be toning the brassiness. [And wasting money/time.] Better to let the highlights grow out as much as possible before cutting the cord.