Haircut help, again, please - YouLookFab Forum

For the last three years I have been trying to achieve long hair, but now that i am finally getting some length, I am dissatisfied. Granted, my hair is currently very grown out and needs shaping up in any case. Reflecting on YLF members with glorious long hair, I am thinking the secret is having lots of fine hair, whereas I have lots of thick, heavy hair.

My issues are the following:
-I have thick, heavy, wavy hair. Too much length and it is flat, too little and it is completely out of control wild.

-I have a strong wave with a propensity to defy gravity, especially between the nape of my neck and my shoulders it tends to flip out wildly, so much so that my sweet but somewhat oblivious DH notices. I think to conquer this it needs to be either shorter or significantly longer than my shoulders. At the shoulders seems to be deadly.

For some reason my last two hairdressers have been thinning the heck out of my hair. This creates tons of short hairs that stick out and make it look damaged and dry even though it is pretty healthy. I need to tell my current hairdresser to stop this, but it will take years to grow it all out. Also I think maybe my hair is overly layered?

I know there is a good solution to this riddle and that you wise ladies can help me. Do you have some good advice for me?

Photos:
(1-3) I think I have been emulating this look until my hair grew out completely
(4) Obsessed with this actresses' hair (as well as J Anniston's), but let's face it. It takes an hour to style that hair.
(5) Always liked JRR's hair with her odd wispy baby hair bangs, but it's hard to achieve volume with this kind of cut.
(6 etc.) as I currently stand, in desperate need of some cut, appointment scheduled for next week.

ETA: forgot to make the point that I am so desperate for time lately I am thinking of cutting my hair just so it will dry faster, even though it makes me a little sad.

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14 years ago

bj1111

Veteran

i think you hit it on the head...how much time are you willing to spend styling your hair.

fyi...i like your hair now and don't agree that it's lacking. you do have a very strong wave at the back. i think you'll need routine styling tools to tame this if you don't like it.

kellygirl

FWIW, I like your hair how it is now. The natural waves are so pretty and the cut frames your face.

(website)

I can say that the layers will dictate what happens to those waves! Even the slightest layering in the back of my hair will make it shrink right up into tight little coils. But, if my layers are done well and my hair is long enough to pull it down and control it, as you mentioned, it behaves soooo much better.
Here are 3 different degrees of layering. 1 is the least, 2 is more layered and 3 is out of control.

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Scarlet

Gosh, Mo, that is so illustrative. You are one of the people I was thinking of as having really great long hair. And you can let it air dry, you lucky duck!

texstyle

Have you thought of just trimming the longest part again to make it closer to the mid-length sections and give it just a bit more time for it all to catch up (reduce layers)? Are you blow drying it now? Flat ironing? Flat ironing might be the faster way to get to the style of #4 or to the style of Jennifer Aniston. For me (I have long wavy hair) flatironing made it too flat and I didn't like the effect with my facial features. But the experience did help me decide that I actually like my waves best if they are just at the collarbone or a bit longer and I prefer not too many layers but I do wear bangs.

LoP

You might want to trim it with layers and use a product that gives your hair volume. Are you using any hair products? You can also cut it the way you like and get it straightened if you like straight hair. The second option costs a lot more, but it is wash and go.

Jonesy

I think I like the idea of slightly shorter than shoulder length on you (vs. longer than shoulder length). Not sure what advice to give re. the wave/layers conundrum. I too love that model's hair in pics 1-3, but I think she has medium, wavy hair rather than monster thick, wavy/curly hair--I had to accept that my hair simply won't do that! I guess the key is finding a hairdresser who understands your hair and knows the sweet spot in terms of layering/thinning...easier said than done, I know. Sorry I can't be more helpful!

Vix

Hi Scarlet --

When I am overdue for a cut I hate/loathe/want to make major changes.

Sometimes I do, which is how I ended up with hair at my ears. Usually a fairly minor variation does the trick -- thick, heavy hair is just awful when it needs thinning and shaping.

Grab your Photo #1 as a reminder when you go, discuss length, and voila: happy you!

I can't help you with your deliberate thinning issues, sorry! Mine is thinned quite a bit and if it's doing something like yours I guess it doesn't phase me.

Re layering: Mine is also quite layered -- I'd say the shortest back pieces are 3" shorter than the longest ones.

Mine also has shorter (mouth to jaw length) pieces in the front and then blends into the longer back...so not that different from yours, and it works for me. All one length = SpongeBob SquareHair (or worse, Triangle Hair!).

I have good and bad hair days but have accepted that I'm the caretaker, not the controller. Sometimes this equals frizz, sometimes flip. It's cold and dry for us this winter and I need soooo much more moisture; check your routine/products.

[Also: I discovered I need to either move to S. California or park myself about 12" from the propped hairdryer + diffuser -- holding it makes my hair unhappy. In winter I often dry to 80% done and at least one can move around!]

Trust me that when you are agonizing someone is mentally admiring your gorgeous locks -- and good luck with the cut.

Two pics below, FWIW -- #1 Good Hair Day / #2 Less Than Good, But Ya Can't Win Em All

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Texstyle, yes I was considering cutting off the lower layers to my chin or so to re-set. I blow dry when I wash, about every other day. I only flat-iron rarely because it just takes too much time.

Thanks for checking in Jonesy. I am also thinking if it has got to be shorter or longer, then shorter is the way to go. I am just somehow not completely emotionally behind the choice. Weird of me. I thought long hair might actually be a little more wash and go than shorter hair, but for me it turns out not to be the case. It just seems to have less style period on me. I think you are right that the model has only moderately thick hair.

Vix, you are so smart you made me realize I am probably overreacting because I have needed a trim badly for a month now, especially over the holidays where I saw tons of people and felt terrible about it. I was thinking of cutting to jaw-length because it was making me so nuts. Go do thing my hairdresser is on vacation opened I have time to contemplate. I think I will take your advice with the photo 1. I think my current hairdresser is very good actually, but I haven't been giving her much direction since the first time she cut my hair. I think my hair changed over the last ten years to become much more curly and I haven't fully accepted or figured out how to deal with it yet. When I let it dry naturally I am shocked by how curly it looks (still not as much as you or Jonesy, but maybe like Malina in photo 2 with a slightly larger circumference curl). But then on the second day it just looks terrible, so that's why I blow-dry. Well that and the cold. If there is one thing I learned from the posters around here it is that curly hair is way more complicated. (of course I have learned lots of other things too). Thanks for the tip about the diffuser and 80%. When it is not bitterly cold that would work too. By the way, I think your hair looks great in photo 2 as well, but maybe your hat is concealing the trouble. Thanks for the photos--very helpful to see your texture.

Angie

Fashion Stylist

I have no words of wisdom, Scarlet. So I'm just chiming in to say that you very pretty and will look fab no matter how they cut your hair.

lynn

If your hair is short, can you let it air dry? That would be the deciding factor for me! It looks beautiful in your pictures but maybe cutting some off the bottom would make you feel better. The good thing about hair...it grows back!

morethanbeige

Just wanted to say that I really like your hair. It frames your face so nicely. It looks very natural. Maybe you just need a tiny bit of length cut off.

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