Suz, if you do take the plunge, here's a tip I just learned from a new to me stylist: Use something called "purple shampoo" as needed to tone down the yellow tones and encourage the silver hairs. One uses it as needed to keep the yellow at bay. I bought my first bottle on Amazon, and it works. My naturally aging hair is still a variety of colors if one digs around in it, and this purple stuff helps.

Suz, I'm sure you will be beautiful no matter what you choose re: hair color. Maryk's observations resonate with me...and Una's point is a call to arms is inspiring. I don't have any answer for you. This is up to you.

My work day is hard enough without having to fight every minute to garner respect. Dressing a certain way has made that less of an issue for me so i can get on with business. A lot of that has to do with the environment in which I work.

Whether going gray will be such a big issue for you or not may have to do with the demographic to which you are speaking. What's that like? Or does it change often?

This is a great discussion. I can see the wisdom and good sense in both perspectives. And Mary, it had occurred to me -- both in the "appearances" sector of my creative job and in my day job (where my colleagues are all considerably younger) looking youthful is a big advantage.

The thing is...I'm not so sure dyed hair on me is a recipe for youthful looks. To the extent I look youthful I think it's due to other factors more than the hair.

Meanwhile, if we're ever going to shift that paradigm, we've got to get out there and shift it.

I might feel differently, though, when people start treating me worse because I'm a "grey old lady."

Well, the great thing is, it's not a permanent decision. I can try it out until my next cut, see how I am feeling, and then go from there!

Thanks everyone for your sage thoughts.

Suz I think there will come a time, perhaps in 7-10 years, where going grey will just feel right. Somehow my gut reaction is, it's not quite that time yet. There comes a time when dyed hair seems much more fake on women, that time hasn't come for you yet.

I vote yay.

My reasons are:

- the spunkiest, funkiest woman that I met in the UK had salt and pepper grey hair. She was in her mid to late 40s and men of all ages found her oh so sexy, so grey hair clearly didn't impact on that.

- you are going from blonde to grey. I don't think that this is so much of a shocking transition as going from dark brown or black to grey after years of hair dying. I think that the dark to lighter transition can be much harder to manage.

- you have a fun, modern image and the hair cut to manage it. I presume you are not about to go for the blue rinse and rollers approach. You are not going to look like the grey haired old lady. Your skin condition will tell more about your age than your hair. You have lovely looking skin.

- like you have said, it is not permanent.

Suz, I agree with both Mary K and Una, but I think it's something a person would have to experience before deciding which principle is (or needs to be) more present in their life.

I see it as something you could play with, like deciding to try a different hemilne over winter. You could always go back.

Then again, it seems some people see this as a rite of passage. If it is taking on that kind of significance maybe it's better to wait until you can commit fully.

And although I know this isn't the point you're making, I just want to throw in there for other readers that grey doesn't necessarily have to correlate to "mature" woman.

http://www.mamamia.com.au/styl.....new-black/

Below: Yumi Stynes; Marieke Hardy

Hmm, need I vote?
I'm pretty sure you know what my answer would be!

Can't wait to see what you decide Suz! And you're right - if you decide to go gray and don't like it - it will be an easy "fix!" Since you have very thick hair, I think that your hair will look pretty when it is gray. I'm just not convinced that gray hair will look better on you than blonde - and for me, I would always go for what would look the best.
Just for the record - I cannot stand Jamie Lee Curtis' hair color! The first time I saw her in the silver pixie I was stunned at how her beautiful eyes had just "faded" into her face - and even though I've seen her practically a million times in those yogurt commercials since then, I still cannot help but feel seriously disappointed everytime I see her silver hair and realize that she's not going to change it!
Also - just looked at your pinterest board. I think that younger women (those in their 20's and 30's and even 40's) look great in gray hair - their lips are fuller, their eyes are brighter, their cheeks pinker, they don't have the crow's feet around their eyes, their necks aren't sagging - and the gray/silver/white/ is beautiful on them! But, when you go to the older women's pictures - you are looking at models and actresses - I mean they would look good in anything! I'd be interested in seeing pictures of real women (I know they are out there) who are rocking the gray hair. I think that would be a fairer representation of just how gray hair looks on women who are in that "in-between" stage of partial gray/white and partial their natural hair color.
(Hasn't Annie Lennox always wore her hair that shade? It doesn't look any different to me than it did 20+ years ago!)

Such an interesting thread! I have a couple of thoughts on the matter.

I read a (biology) paper that spoke to why blonde was such a desired hair colour in females. It turned out that blonde most resembled white, so on a biological level it signified fitness/longevity in females, and as such was desired by males in their partner since it would lead to long life in prospective offspring. That said, the contradiction of 'old' hair (grey or white) on a comparatively youthful face and body, trendy hairstyle, and stylish mode of dressing can project all the enthusiasm and energy for life that you need to be seen by society as 'beautiful'.

Being a redhead has been a big part of who I am, and I did not have any colour in my hair until I turned 50 and started to get a lot of white. My hairdresser at the time suggested blonde highlights. I started to be referred to as 'blonde' and I felt like I had lost my identity. A year ago I grew out the colour, and have been natural since November 2012. I am much happier ( and still redder) then I was from 50-52. I have a new hairdresser who has suggested copper penny red highlights, essentially changing the ratio of red to white hair but not eliminating the white entirely (there is no 'grey' per se.). I might try this, but I don't believe I will ever go total coverage/one process.

My mother was a mousey brown, and coloured from the time she was in her 20's. My favourite look of hers was in her late 40's when she had 'every colour' hair. I think it was mousey brown, greying, and blonde highlights. There was so much interesting dimension to her hair. In her 70's, and completely white, she is opting for pale apricot now.

Suz, your features are so delicate and feminine, I think you will be able to carry off the softer brown/white/grey hair colour if that is how your hair transitions. There will be lots of dimensional interest in that. A darker grey, or evenly mixed salt and pepper might not work out so well. Go slow with some transitional highlighting spaced out and without root touch ups. You will probably have your answer by S/S '14. (And won't silver be so much fun with the pale pinks' blues, whites, and greys that were shown on the runways.)

If I had any courage, I would go with a fantastical color like this, which is ethereal and manga-like to go with my haircut!

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/412009065881457579/

Love that, Una!! That would be brilliant on you!

I am not sure how one gets a colour like that, actually.

It's so clear from these comments that this is such a deeply personal decision. Our perceptions really vary enormously. For instance, Marley, while I agree with you that some of the younger women look great in grey on my pinboard, I actually like the looks of the older ones better (on the whole). Some of them are actresses, true, but many are more ordinary. And I like Jamie Lee Curtis's colour on her a lot! So I guess it is like style -- so subjective. What looks better to one will not look better to another.

As for real life role models, we have them here on YLF, with Caro, Lantana, and Joy leading the way and many others following along the path. I think it's partly seeing these gorgeous women here that gives me the courage to go ahead (if I do).

No decisions yet, but I will continue to think on this for a few weeks. I suspect what I'll do is make a sort of (flexible) plan for doing this, based on what's going to be going on in my life for the next few months.

Thanks again for all your thoughts!

Out of curiosity, Suz, does your DD know you are thinking about stopping the coloring, and what are her thoughts on this? A few years back, I started noticing the white roots under my black hair in under three weeks. I got REALLY sick of coloring; my hair grows too fast to do the salon thing. To my DD and I think other children, youth, and young people, gray = old. Very old. So I held off on stopping and promised to keep coloring until she finished high school. My last three color jobs were semi-permanent rather than permanent dye, but the last time I colored was just before DD graduated from high school in 2012. The grow-out took about nine months since I also decided to grow my hair longer. At any rate, I was definitely transitioned by the time I turned 60.

Do I look older? Maybe. Am I happier? Yes. I figure I will have to pay more attention not to look frumpy, but that's a given, right? And it is only hair, so I can change my mind. But I won't.

Your current regime doesn't sound like too much hassle. Maybe you can give DH and DD a year or so to get used to the idea? But since you have light hair, I don't think it will be too much of a shock to anyone! Go with your heart and gut.

Donna, that's an excellent point. I'll bet my DD would worry about it, too. She hates change even more than DH! And she may be concerned that I will look old. Hmmm. I'll discuss it with her. Thank you for that reminder. It's my decision, I know, but I do think I need to hear my family out on it.

Suz I already threw in my two cents but I have to thank you for starting this thread. I am not in a life situation where it matters much if I look older in terms of my work, and I am already older than many of my kids' friends mothers (and the daughter that became hysterical when I first cut my hair got over it quite quickly), so it is very interesting to read all these perspectives. I do think that in your role as a public artist going grey seems like it might work (as a writer you are a great position to model the new paradigm - people expect that from artists, right?). In your work with fitness people you could be a wonderful role model but I could certainly see where the decision would be more difficult there. Whatever you decide will be the right decision for you and you can change it whenever you want.

Suz, you might want to check out the Pinterest board, "The Grays are Coming:"
http://www.pinterest.com/Shado.....re-coming/

Some fabulous, inspiring looks! Lots of the styles are long and medium length hair, but there are some gorgeous pixies in the mix too.

Jonesy! Great to see you!

Suz, there are about a million interesting articles on this topic at HuffPo: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tag/gray-hair

Jonesy, so great to see you!! Post some of your fab outfits for us, please! And thank you for that pinboard. Off to check that, and Mary's links, out!

Thank you, Mary!

And Shevia, I agree with you about my specific roles -- I think I do have more freedom than most to do whatever I wish (heck, I can dye it bright fuchsia if I like -- one of my colleagues at the fitness company has actually done that!) and so I shouldn't be bound by ordinary expectations. But others don't have that freedom, for sure, and need to be very conscious of what the results might be.

I look forward to seeing whichever you go with. I think you will look as fab as ever either way.

Silver, bronze, or gold, it's all good! But most importantly Suz, you radiate huge amounts of natural inner beauty, warmth and vitality, which coming from the inside out can't help but make you look gorgeous, and alluring, with whatever direction you choose for the outside.

Also a shoutout to Clearlyclaire, along with Caro, Shevia, Lantana, Shannon and Joy among the many others, whose natural grey and greying hair looks 100% graceful and elegant. Such attractive ladies.

I saw all of your pins from this weekend and I thought they were fabulous. not that I'm rushing the clock but I am looking forward to that point. I think Mr. Suz is simply afraid of change.

I couldn't read every comment this morning but I thought to myself, what if you used a different highlighting color or colors to start the process sooner - my grays seem very light but the rest of my hair color is still dark blonde (except where I highlight). I've tried different tones of hair color to do highlighting (more "natural" or "champagne" colors instead of "golden" tones) and the overall effect is closer to what is probably natural for me. I wonder if you could speed the transition this way so you can get a better feel for it.

Seeing your hair in more detail on your other thread reminds me of my husband's blonde hair which slowly grayed from blonde to "lighter blonde" to it's-not-lighter-blonde-it's-now-gray status naturally over time. The effect of increasing gray may be pretty subtle for quite a while.

This thread has been a wonderful read for me as a grown daughter whose mother is presently contemplating this question. Despite the fact that I love the look of modern graying and gray hair, I have been unaccountably anxious about the prospect. You all have reminded me what a personal--and potentially freeing--decision this is, and have encouraged me to be more supportive. I will hereby put aside any fear of change--and try to remember all the hair styles and colors she's patiently watched *me* sport over the years!

Haven't read every post... just wondering if your hair is *light grey* or *dark grey.*

Also, I have to confess something: Light grey reads to me as blonde and dark grey as black. As a matter of fact, light brown reads as blonde to me and brunette as black. And then I have a third category: fake. (Fake is for neon, the skunk dye job, etc.) It's not a vision thing, it's a category thing.

I worry a little bit that this is a sign of my totally uncaring and brutal nature...

Anyways, you are in my light category. If your natural hair would put you in the dark category, that would be a big change and I'd imagine you'd be rethinking a lot more than your hair.

My personal experience-my hair was naturally dark brown when I was younger. As I got older, the natural color began to fade, & I colored & highlighted on a regular basis. I got tired of the upkeep, so upon the suggestion of my hairdresser, I let several inches of my hair grow without any color change. This was when it looked the worst. After that, she started adding blonde highlights on top of my natural hair color. In another year, I let it completely come in gray. I absolutely love it. My hair is naturally curly & I keep it cut in a short curly bob (see profile pic-not the best lighting, but you can see the general idea) & I am thrilled with the lower maintenance. I get lots of compliments on it-really, all the time.

I stopped highlighting it over a year ago, & about two weeks ago my husband said, "I didn't realize you weren't coloring your hair anymore until I heard you telling a friend that today." So there you go.

I agree with the others. Try it-you can always change it.

I say go for it Suz.
My perception of you in virtual world is pretty bubbly enthusiastic kind.
I live your big smile always makes me smile.
And I rely admire salt pepper pixie in women. Don't know why.
You will look great. And your DH sounds exactly like mine

I vote yay, Suz. Because it's fun to try something new!... and not be afraid of change. I did it 12 years ago at 46 and there were days early on I struggled with it, but in the end, I liked having the texture of my real hair. I felt like I was the only one back then, but now I see so many of us rocking the grey...and by that I mean you can tell it's a conscious choice, not just a "giving up" look...it depends on the cut, what you wear of course, and mostly, how you move, with a vitality. I think if we focus more on what gets expressed by us as we age rather than merely what we look like...I'm not implying you are doing that, and I'm talking to myself here too...than we bring our greater experience and bigger perspective that younger coworkers and friends do not yet possess...whatever our hair color is. And in some strange way, I feel a kind of pride about my grey hair. Plus it's an interesting adventure to see how nature is coloring your hair because it's constantly changing. I think you will (continue to) look stunning!

How did I miss this Suz?! So sorry, and you knew I'd have to add my two cents.

For you, and your style and coloring, I really like the mix that is in your hair right now (seen in your pink blazer pics). The little bit of white mixed with the golden blonde tones is pretty and veering more towards neutral. I like the idea of watching it grow out a bit and judiciously adding some blonde along the part if you feel the need to.

The contrast between your natural darkest tone (40%) and the new un-pigmented hair (60%) might prove to be very pleasing and enough going on for you. If you highlight most of the dark hair to a blonde shade (assuming the use of bleach only, not color), then you will have all light hair, some white and some blonde. A mix of warm and cool, but low contrast. A gradual approach might shock Mr. Suz less and get your reading public up to speed as well. What ever you decide you will always be Beautiful Suz, that's a given.

oh wow. I have a lot to say about my own journey on this path to gray. I'm on vacation right now with limited time. I am eight weeks into my journey to gray. After 17 years of coloring it I am tired of it. I am surprised at how dark the color is as it grows out. I thought it was far more gray.

my Dh is freaky about gray hair but he long ago lost the right to have any input.

I am doing blond high lighting and so far don't like it. it is blending in and I will return and report with photos next week.

much good advice here.

MsMaven, thank you -- I have been thinking of your journey (and also gfbrenda's) and wondering how it is going! I will look forward to your report.

And Claire, you make good sense, as ever. I am going to take my pinboard to the salon next time I go and ask the stylist how my grey compares to some of the ones on the board. I may decided to do a gentle weave with high and lowlights but no base colour for a while.

Thanks all, once again, for a great discussion.