Frustrated and feeling frumpy - YouLookFab Forum

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Frustrated and feeling frumpy

catgirl

Veteran

Man, am I in a style funk. Nothing seems to fit, and if it does it doesn't feel right. Unlike most here, I do not get bored of the right footwear, but I am sick to death of my FFBOs and the lack of prints to liven things up. I basically put on the minimum needed to get out the door functionally and presentably and that's it. Weight gain and way too much to do is partly to blame. I also feel like there's a lot in my closet that is not my current vibe (silk Equipment shirts, fitted blazers, leather jackets) but don't have any idea what would feel better. I want to feel like a style warrior again. And it's barely the end of fall!

I just bought a mini-elliptical for work and am hoping to burn some calories at my desk. Something has to happen here!

Sorry to whine - felt an update was needed on why I'm not posting a lot. Sigh...

Dressing

50 replies

Latest reply was from lpr200

Missey

Veteran

I feel ya sister! Weight goes on far too easily these days and then NOTHING IS RIGHT! I don't know what my style is anymore either as I rock scrubs half the time and lounge wear the other half. I recently started lifting weights and I think I'm getting back on track, but it's a long haul. Is it so bad to commit to leggings and unstructured toppers? Eileen Fischer can't be wrong ;). I'm leaning toward the whole "funky tee, jeans, boots with a cool topper" thing. Now to find a couple of cool toppers...

I think the other part of this is that I'm much less fancy in real life than I am in my head, and maybe it is time to reconcile my wardrobe with my reality.

Good luck getting your groove back! If it's any consolation, you look fantastic to me!

Aida

Veteran

Una I'm just about to head to bed, but I did want to offer hugs! And suggest you remove the wardrobe stuff that doesn't feel the right vibe, put it in another closet or box it up. Less stuff when you're looking at what to wear, especially if what's there is only the good stuff, will help a lot. I did this with many of the "don't fit" pieces and it was such a difference (need to do another round actually) even though I thought I'd miss them. I didn't. Be kind to yourself, you've had a tough year and things will turn up! Good idea on the elliptical.

Lyn D.

Veteran

I am sorry you are feeling this way Una!
You always look Fab in your WIW posts- how about wearing more tunic-style tops and dresses while your weight settles, and perhaps introduce new prints with cosy scarfs and the like?

Sally

Veteran

You always look fabulous. Its always ourselves that notice the weight gain...others don't. Sometimes you just have to ride the boredom with our clothes and do things that make you happy. Just be kind to yourself.

Sisi

Veteran

I understand you ! There are periods when nothing feels right. I was going to suggest exactly what Aida says. Put aside the wrong stuff and you will be able to see things more clearly.

Style Fan

Veteran

I am sorry you are feeling this way Una. You always look like a warrior to me. Style slumps are no fun.

rachylou

Veteran

So one thing, while like I said I'm living my fashion dream on the other thread, there is one little thing that's been bugging me this whole year... I haven't gotten any real fashion bee in my bonnet. Not maybe since last fall. No theme, no evolution. And I don't know why the ideas aren't coming, except that I'm not trapped at a desk with nothing to do...

Staysfit

Veteran

I second Aida's suggestion. Let me explain why I think this works. When I'm looking for a change, any change, the inspiration often comes from unexpected places. It may not come from my closet if I am in a wardrobe funk, but this is a fashion forum so I will try not to stray. When I'm in a funk and want a change I find that cleaning and sorting through my belongings and getting rid of what doesn't suit anymore helps. It's like it's opening space for what's to come, whatever that might be. So, even if I clean out a kitchen drawer and get rid of some infrequently used or worn out utensils, I find myself feeling better soon. I also more easily stumble on my solutions. Maybe I will start thinking that I need more metallic items, or maybe seeing a carrot peeler will make me think of pairing some daringly contrasting colors together. I'm not trying to think when I'm sorting, the ideas just pop into my head.

I understand you are feeling out of sorts because you have gained some weight and your clothes don't feel fresh. Maybe what I said above doesn't hit the mark, but I find that even in that sort of situation, the sorting makes room for the change, so Aida's suggestion is brilliant.

Bijou

Veteran

Una you are fabulous NOT frumpy! Please be kind to yourself, now is the time to wear your favourite pieces - pull out those cool handbags to add zest to an all black look, wear your amazing SW boots when you go grocery shopping just because you can. The weight will come off. Grab a good friend and go for a hike - you will be surprised at how much fun you have catching up. One of my favourite times of the week is when I have my weekly walk with my girlfriend.

El Cee

Veteran

To me, your style is always beyond fabulous... and I look forward to your WIW pics. But I totally understand that feeling. Big hugs to you. I think Aida's idea is very wise. Having items in your closet that either do not fit as you would like them to or no longer represent your style can add to the frustration of outfit creation.

unfrumped

Veteran

Sending good vibes.
I can relate.
May have something to do with still warm weather here. Plus a job change. I don't wsnt to toss a lot of stuff yet because I'm feeling my way through the new situation. It's not formal by any means but I tend to want to wear my " best" and some things just look too mix-&-match-- again, more so when it's not boots and sweater weather, so harder to do fabrics and layers.

Traci

Veteran

Aida is spot on. Pare it all down, even if that leaves you with a very small capsule.

Are you due for a haircut? I find a fresh cut or even trim can revitalize me. When that's not an option, even a new scent or lip gloss can perk me up. You just need a tiny bit of momentum to pull you up.

I also want to throw out there that I thought you looked absolutely amazing and stunning in the photo you posted with the new SW boots. I wholeheartedly understand the frustrations you're having with your body, but please be kind to her. You are STILL recovering from surgery.

LaPed

Veteran

Susan over at Une Femme has a post today that might resonate with you: http://unefemme.net/2016/10/style-clicks.html

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Oh Una, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I know the feeling all too well. I like the suggestion to temporarily put away the items that you are not feeling. I need to do that myself -- I got rid of some things lately and there is room in my holding zone. I'm also finding that pairing some things I wasn't feeling anymore with new items that I *am* more excited about can really help (i.e. A wrap blouse like what I wore yesterday with my new black zip vest). It helps me see old clothes in a new light. I think I need to try my Equipment shirts with various toppers, because they aren't getting enough wear. So I know what you're talking about. It's very easy for me to reach for tees and knits instead of those "nicer" tops because my life is really casual, and blouses almost always feel more fussy than a tee.

I can commiserate about the weight issue, although I don't see it on you at all from your photos. I never lost the weight I thought I would after my surgery. I think I am back at the size I was when I first started running, and one part of me is disappointed and discouraged, while another part of me shrugs and says, oh well, as long as I'm healthy. Menopause is a bitch. I'm trying to keep my activity level up and watch what I eat, and maybe that needs to be enough, even if it only means maintaining the weight I am. I'm 51 -- I'm never going to be a supermodel. I don't know, maybe I'm just feeling a bit more self-acceptance these days. But anyway, I like the idea of the mini-elliptical -- I want one too! I hate the feeling when I've spent too many hours sitting at my computer!

Hugs and support to you!

Anonymous

You can whine any time you want. We ALL go through very similar episodes. I do find that venting helps and you are bound to get great ideas/encouragement from the Forum. Aida's advice was spot on.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Oh, another thought. I wonder if some of this funk is the change of seasons. Especially where you live, where the days get so much shorter, so quickly. I think that can really take a toll, especially when you are so busy and can't get out and enjoy those hikes and outdoor activities that help lift you up in the summer.

Tanya

Veteran

Una, I don;t think you could look frumpy if you tried, you are the UPp icon here on the forum. But I know the feeling you are talking about. Aida gave you some awesome advice about packing things away. I am curious why you don't feel your motos, those are very "Una" items to me.

Chris987

Veteran

what aida and staysfit said. They are so right!

I can relate, it sure does feel awful to be in a style rut.

I had "the new me" relatively sorted out for summer but now I'm going through my fall clothes and about half of what I put on is just YUK - old me, frumpy, doesn't fit well, emphasizes all the wrong things, kept to long, yada yada. I even created a column in my wear tracking spreadsheet with a title of "YUK" so I can keep track of them and get a small chuckle out of it. What I'm doing is changing on the spot if I can and finding something better to wear, then putting all the "yuk" into a holding zone. It's like what Aida and Staysfit suggested just in smaller chunks. I've been buying a little bit of new stuff but returning a fair amount because I'm trying to force myself into some new style patterns and it's hard.

And to echo what others said, you always look so FAB in the outfits you do post, so you DO have a good sense of style, maybe it's just not happening every day for you. Give yourself a break, sometimes just-presentable-enough is perfectly ok.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I can sympathize, Una. I've gained quite a bit of stress weight lately and it just sucks. It makes getting dressed and shopping not fun. I lost my swimwear and running shoes in the fire and haven't replaced them yet, so I haven't been able to work out. I just ordered a new suit last night. Back to good habits is the way to go! We'll get there!

Runcarla

Veteran

I'm with Janet about the change of seasons. Though the days are beautiful right now, it is dark when I board the train, and dark when I get off at the end of the day. In between, I'm in an office tower. I've eschewed noon-hour workouts in favour of walking out-of-doors for 45 minutes. Still, I feel a fit of the dismals setting in. I'm choosing more colourful outfits with an aim to fake it until I'm more in the mood. Thanks to a decent fall/transitional capsule I'm okay without having to work to hard at it.

citygirldc

(website)

Veteran

It seems like we're all in the same boat. As soon as the weather changes and the days are shorter, I get into this weird hibernating mode of eating and sleeping and nothing fits me either. For what its worth, you look great.

RobinF

Veteran

I think you always look great, but I do understand exactly what you are saying. I am also at the place where I don't like most of my wardrobe but don't know what I want to replace it with. I love Aida's suggestion and have been working on that slowly but maybe need to do it all at once. And I agree with Janet that a lot can be because of winter coming.

Banoffi

Veteran

Una, I am sorry you are in funk. I think you always look so fresh and fashionable in your posts. I do understand how frustrating it can be to feel like nothing looks good, even when the closet is full of clothes. I like Aida's recommendation to put aside items that aren't working for you now.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Ina, do you think your style fug is a symptom or cause of the blah feelings?

I'm wondering if you need a style refresh or if this will just be a distraction from the underlying issue.

If you're time starved would a massage or lunch with friends put a greater spring in your step than a new jacket?

Aziraphale

Veteran

I can't offer any better advice than what is given here, but I can offer a virtual hug. Things will feel better in time. You've had a busy year, and surgery on top of that. Don't be hard on yourself. And remember, no matter how blah you feel about your wardrobe, you have the best, absolutely to-die-for, hair.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Hugs!!! You are gorgeous and fabulous and the change of seasons is tough and what everyone said about clearing out the old stuff that does not fit. Hang in there.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

(((HUGS))). It's okay! We are here to support you.

I'm with Jules. Is your style funk a symptom of something else, perhaps?

Good job doing exercise - good for the mind. Head out to yoga class too. I highly recommend that.

Practically Una, box up (or put somewhere else) - all the stuff you are not feeling in your closet this season. Put the stuff you are STILL feeling on a rack, and we will take it from there. Part 2, and I will help you with your style homework. There is no quick fix. We have to do this properly.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I feel you sista, I really do.
Anyways, I think not so much clothes, but maybe an awesome piece of jewelry. Earrings don't work with your hair. Something along the line of your wolverine skull necklace. Something small you can look at & make you smile.
ETA http://www.wendybrandes.com/st.....r%2C-Pushy
Not work appropriate, but the sentiment
http://www.wendybrandes.com/st.....r%2C-IDGAF
http://www.wendybrandes.com/st.....r%2C-Small
Straight up way cool designs
https://www.etsy.com/shop/nerv.....id=7252141
Fun designs. I like the sloth
https://www.etsy.com/shop/glor.....itle_items

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Yep, I think we all feel this way sometimes. I agree with the advice of packing up things that don't fit or don't feel right. It's much better than reaching for an item in the morning only to try it on and realize it doesn't feel right. Every few months I seem to be getting rid of at least a few items like this now. A while back I did a big purge of anything that was too tight because I know at my age I'm not likely going to be losing a lot of inches and even if I did, I'd just buy some new things at that time.

Has the weather been gloomy? I know that always impacts my mood.

I would also recommend looking into some supplements maybe. I take quite a lot of them and I feel better when I stay on the program. Most of us just don't get enough of the right minerals and vitamins in our diets - even if we eat very healthy (which I really try to do).

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