Hi all, and happy Sunday! I've been a bit absent due to some chaos going on at the moment (nothing bad, just busy!), but feel like I need a bit of a vent and you are also so amazing at offering wisdom and perspective, so thought I'd just put it in words.

I'm well into the mid-life 'unravelling' (I think that's Brene Brown's term for it) and one of the seismic shifts going on is in my friendships. Anyone else gone through this?

First off, there's some natural progressions happening ... I'm more health-conscious and would prefer an early morning to a late night (this isn't really new for me) ... and I guess Covid has given me full cover to abandon parties in favour of walks, coffee on the porch, or an early evening. I don't see this changing for me, but many of my friends are raring to get back to nights on the town, so that changes the dynamic a bit. I'm not much for FOMO so I don't mind missing the parties in favour of meeting at the gym!

I realized I've felt very responsible for my family's social lives too. But I'm trying to let that go. My youngest is 13 and more than capable of managing her own social life. She misses being at the parties with all the families, but I am letting myself off the hook. And DH is a grown adult for crying out loud ... he can manage his own social life lol !!! (DS, almost 16, doesn't want me anywhere near his social life!!)

On the theme of the kids getting older, the neighbourhood group we've been a part of for many years has changed dramatically. It was a wonderfully supportive group of families who looked out for each others' littles and provided company and laughs when we were all pretty housebound - a meetup for drinks of someone's porch while kids ran around on the court meant no one had to 'entertain' or worry about babysitters. I'll always be grateful we had this situation! But as the kids have gotten older and gone their own ways more, the adults got a little cliquey and I found myself in an 'in group' that can be exclusionary. That's not my thing (you know, being a grown adult and all *rolls eyes*), so I've subtly (I hope!) extricated myself while staying on good terms with everyone (they really are good people at heart). I'm fine with it, but it does mean that there are a few companions and a social circle I once had that are now absent.

On the brighter side of it, I've gotten close with two awesome women where there is zero drama. My sister-in-law is my closest friend and we laugh until we cry together. I love having lunch with my Dad every week, or my sister coming by on a Sunday. When my kids are around they are fantastic companions! And DH and I haven't strangled each other yet after being stuck in the house together for the best part of 2 years, so that's good (although I won't lie - kinda happy the business travel is starting up again ) I also have more freedom to get into Toronto to connect with some of my oldest childhood friends (I'm the only one who moved to the 'burbs *sigh*)

I guess I do worry a little about being lonely as I get older and my social circle seems to shrink ... but I always seem to find kindred souls somehow. And sometimes less social periods are times of growth and self-confidence. Who knows, maybe there's some big retirement scene waiting for me in a few years time!

Anyhow, it's on my mind, so I feel better having written it. Thanks if you made it this far! So glad for this group! xx