For Those Wresting With The Gray Hair Question - YouLookFab Forum

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For Those Wresting With The Gray Hair Question

tarzy

Veteran

I came across this post recently, and I wonder what everyone thinks? If I knew for sure my hair would be this sort of hip silver/platinum, I might have the courage to try it. I'm so sick of coloring.

http://www.wardrobe911.com/pla.....ahoo!+Mail

General

34 replies

Latest reply was from taylor

Katiepea

(website)

Veteran

Wow - she does look great, doesn't she?! This is certainly food for thought!

I think the biggest thing I notice when I look at this photo is that whilst it is a really a very pretty shade - to me her hair seems almost more of a platinum shade (ie, light blonde), rather than a true silver white-grey.

It's also hard to determine the colour as well, because she admits to photo-shopping it a LOT and that there was a "yellow" cast to the photo due to candle light! If I photo-shopped the c**p out of my photos, I'm sure I could also look spectacularly beautiful at any age with any colour hair too! (At least she was honest enough to openly disclose this information though, which I give her a lot of credit for.)

Despite my little photo-shop rant, I do think she is lucky because this soft hair colour flatters her complexion. I also notice that she appears impeccably groomed and styled - this certainly helps a lot to give a look of elegance and glamorous sophistication, rather than "old lady".

Thank you for such an interesting link!

janetinvirginia

How timely! I was just at the hairdresser's yesterday. One of the things I've been wondering is if I'd have to wear brighter colors to avoid looking washed out.

Anonymous

Have you tried on a silver/grey wig. I think it would look good with your complexion.
After you decide if you like the color on you, you'll need to look at your family tree to see if others went grey in such a nice way.
I know my realatives did not. My mother is 76 and just recently has gotten out of the salt and pepper stage, which I do not like on me either.

By dying my hair, I am not doing it to try to fool someone into thinking I am younger, I do it for a more flattering frame around my face and complexion. I think of it as a frame or mat around a picture, some make the picture look better and some others really wash out the picture. I don't have strong enough complexion to carry silver hair. I'm already kind of washed out looking. Ofcourse that happens right along with the hair going grey. Not fair.

sinead

I think she definitely looks better with her platinum hair than with her dark brown- it just suits her coloring better. But I also think it's unusual to have a gray come in so light and all-over. On me and most of my friends, we're battling either salt and pepper or gray patches. I know my gray would be less than flattering at this stage.

I agree, Tara, I'm also tired of coloring my hair. I don't mind as much since I gave up box dyes for henna/indigo mixes. The dyes made my hair awful (straw-like, as was mentioned) and the henna/indigo leaves it thicker and healthier. But it took a while to get the mix right- I would recommend it only for those who can't tolerate the box dyes.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I'm 100% with Sandy and Sinead. Thank you for writing what's in my head.

medusa

Veteran

Gray hair certainly can be beautiful - this post is a great example of that. I'm looking forward to having (all-over) gray hair. Right now I just have a few gray strands.

tarzy

Veteran

San - I know what you mean about the frame. I love your brown hair color. It's so pretty on you.

Sinead - if I did it, I would cut my hair as short as I could stand it. I hate that salt & pepper look on me!

I think I'm very bored right now ... probably not the best time to make such a big decision, LOL.

Katja

(website)

I'm going against the mainstream here - I don't color (anymore), and I don't plan to, even if it makes me look older. I agree with Katiepea that grooming and care for one's appearance make a difference, and I'm counting on that to carry me through.

MsMaven

Veteran

Luckily for me my hair didn't start to turn gray until pretty late. Lucky, because my DH is absolutely freaky about gray hair. He always comments on any woman he sees with even a few gray strands showing. For a long time my colorist was able to keep my hair close to it's original, but lately it's getting lighter and I don't think it goes with me. After an attempt to get closer to my original color, I gave up and now we are doing blonde highlights and a plan to gradually transition into gray.

I notice that several friends and relatives who swore they would never color their hair have a suspicious lack of any gray despite moving well into their 60s.

For me the most important factor is that the person has a good, up-to-date hairstyle and keeps hair in good condition. I see a lot of what I call old hippie hair and it isn't pretty.

Claudia

Veteran

I am planning to let the grays come in, give it a fair chance to see how it looks before coloring it. At almost 49, it is starting to happen.

A number of my friends who started to gray earlier and started coloring it right away wish they had never started because it is so hard to stop once you start, the change would be so dramatic as to be startling instead of a gradual change over.

I dread the thought of coloring more than graying, to be honest.

While many people do look better/younger maintaining color, you can always tell when someone is coloring their hair, even with the best dye job, and on some, this dull, flat and coarse dyed look, especially those going too dark, with their aging complexion looks unnatural and is worse than gray to my eyes.

Jonesy

Veteran

When I was younger I thought I would probably dye my hair. Now that I have some gray in it, I find that I don't mind it at all. I really like how my natural hair is lots of different colors, from darker brown to a lighter reddish brown; dyeing it would erase that color variation. I also dislike the idea of all of the time and expense it would require to maintain dyed hair.

I agree with you, Claudia, about colored or dyed hair sometimes looking coarse and straw-like, especially when it's not done professionally. I have two co-workers, both white women in their late 30s with naturally curly hair, who dye and straighten their hair. Their hair looks terrible! Like a bad wig. The effect is actually very aging. And the funny thing is they have both complimented me on my naturally curly hair!

taylor

Veteran

Tarzy, If you want to stop coloring, cut your hair short and sassy, let it go, you could pull it off with style:) ...if you don't like it color it again:)
I understand this aging thing...I'm almost 53 myself. The maintenance can just be too much...it's not just the hair, we have lots of battles. If I have enough grey at 60 I will let it go:)

This photo is obviously photoshopped. She hasn't a wrinkle on her face , yet she still looks 20 years older in the grey haired pic...in other words, she looks like a 33 yr. old who has greyed like a 53 yr. old...and it is WAY too long..not flattering.

Maya

Veteran

Uh, don't kill me but I don't think she looks so fab in the after picture. Very pale and washed out.

taylor

Veteran

bless you Maya, my though...even photoshopped ...awful!!

Maya

Veteran

I don't think it's even an issue of age or looking older. It just looks unflattering. Her complexion just looks so pale and drawn. A shame considering how pretty she is.

Anonymous

I think her face is too youthful to handle all that gray hair. I'm 46 and look quite a bit younger than my chronological age. I'm at about 40% gray at the moment and will continue to color until my appearance catches up to my age! It just seems to "go" better on me...and probably on her as well.

However! I think if a woman wants to go gray, she should own it and work it. I do like her attitude about her gray hair and once I am at the point where I am 100% gray, I hope I am as positive about it.

Frances

Tarzy, thank you for posting this link. This has actually been on my mind the past few days, as I had the "big talk" about going gray with my hairstylist last week. The gray is coming in faster now for me--I see so many more sparkly silver strands each time I sit beneath the bright lights in his salon. The funny thing was, we started to talk about it cautiously, then in almost conspiratorial tones. "Well, what if we did just let the silver take its natural course?" I was surprised that in the middle of this hip salon full of young stylists and clients, he was immensely supportive and even seemed in favor of letting it come in naturally.

Debbie

Veteran

I color my hair and will continue too at least for a while. My grey is not a flattering shade. When I'm finally ready I will cut it short until it is all one color. I think this is a decision every woman has to make for herself.

Beth

Veteran

Interesting. I've been graying since my twenties and have had my hair colored professionally for the last 8 or 9 years. My hair is at least 70% gray now. My sister, who is 4 years younger than I am, is even more gray. We both clearly take after my mom:)

Speaking of mom, she has the loveliest silver hair. She just turned 70 and while I'd love to see her embrace her hair, she still colors it and I imagine always will. It makes her feel fab and that's OK. For me, I hope to have her silver color. I'll wear it with pride. Just not yet

Vix

Veteran

I think it's unfortunate that the blogger Tarzy linked did an apples/oranges comparison since it basically blows the whole compare and contrast thing out of the water.

I weighed in on a recent grey hair thread with this link:

http://goinggraylookinggreat.com/

because I think the vast majority of the women DO look great, and frequently much better than they did with artificial color.

[But then I think many non-greying women who color their hair -- at home or professionally -- end up by choice or accident with non-flattering shades.]

Frankly, 40+ is when a lot of past and current bad habits catch up with people. Sure, we lose our naturally dewy skin texture to some degree as we age -- but sun exposure, smoking, crappy diets can all make the skin look very non-youthful as all impair circulation and cell renewal.

It's been said by others more eloquently at various times, but I think a woman with grey hair who takes care of her health as best she can and eschews drab colors, don't-mind-me clothing, and a random haircut will often look much more VITAL and yes, often more youthful than women who make other choices...but dye their hair.

[FTR, I'm not ready to transition yet (41, greying since 16, get pro color every 4 weeks but need it at 3) but do see it happening once I get to a certain point of non-patchiness. My re-growth is 1.5 inches a month and it's tedious and spendy to outwit it!]

An

Interesting discussion. I love Theresa's silver hair. I think as we age, and our skin color changes, grey hair (the right grey hair) is more flattering. I'm going to disagree with Maya and Taylor on this one ... I'm not seeing pale and drawn in the second photo, to me she looks like she has more color in her face in the silver hair photo. But each to their own. I just think we should embrace where we are at in life. That said I don't want to be grey at 35 but at 55- 65 I suspect I'll be quite happy with to embrace the grey

taylor

Veteran

An,
just about 2 yrs. from 55 myself I won't be embracing grey hair, and as a hairstylist I can tell you out of a couple hundred of my clients only 1 in this age bracket is all silver.
You may feel different when you actually reach your 50's about embracing your age, grey hair and all:)

Hair is a very easy thing to change, and yields wonderful results, without surgery.
most women don't feel ready for all grey hair in their 50's...thus the debate and indecision.

An

Good point Taylor, I better hold that comment until I'm a bit more qualified to comment sorry! (I'll probably still be coloring at 80!) 'Should embrace' was a bit strong but I do admire those who 'appear' to embrace their age but still have beautiful style.

Kristen

(website)

Veteran

Interesting discussion! I love the silver hair of the first woman, and have considered off-and-on letting my hair go gray sometime in the next decade. I don't have any close role models in my family since I am the only blond one; my grandmothers were grey with dark undertones but my mother has been dying her hair for so long in so many different shades I have no idea what her real color is anymore! My sister is dark and has a lot of gray popping up early, but my blond hair tends to hide the few that appear between highlights. Since my regular color is a pretty mousy brown, I almost would like to go gray -- I wonder if it would give me the light hair frame that I prefer, you know? Without highlights, my hair is too dark for my taste -- so would gray give me the same ratio of light-to-dark? This is the dilemma I ponder...

Refugee

Veteran

Not all gray hair is created equal. I have a neighbor who started going gray right after high school. She had lovely salt and pepper hair that was completely white by her mid thirties. And it always looked wonderful. I, on the other hand, have not been so fortunate. My hair is very flat and drab as it grays. While I hope one day I will get the beautiful white hair all of my grandparents had, right now I'm coloring it. Or actually Angie, my hairdresser is. It makes a world of difference in how I look and feel. I look kind of sickly with my natural color right now. In fact when it's time to have my color touched up all I do is call Angie and tell her 'there's a dead rodent on my head' and she knows exactly who it is and what I need. I'm past where I need to have the color touched up but I'm trying to decide on a new shorter cut and haven't found anything that remotely strikes my fancy that I think will work for me at the moment. Hair is the one accessory I wear with every outfit so I want it to always look fab.

Dusty

(website)

I'm already seeing gray hair and I'm certainly not planning to embrace that any time soon! I honestly don't see myself letting it all go grey ever, honestly. That pretty silver-y grey wouldn't be a very good color for me, I don't think - I think I need the contrast of dark hair for my complexion to work.

taylor

Veteran

An, I totally get what you are saying:) I wish we could all appreciate the things of aging...even the not so great ones!!

Many things I do embrace...some not so much:)

Anonymous

One thing that helps if you want to go grey and your skin color is fading is to go just a bit darker with your skin tone on your face. I noticed that women with silver hair and darker skin looked so much better than those with pale complexions. I use a skin darkener (Jergens Natural Glow daily moisterizer for medium/tan skin tones) daily and also use a darker tinted moisturizer (Mary Kay) than I'd normally use as a foundation. If you play with make-up colors, be sure to wait awhile after applying before evalulating the color on your skin. What looks way too dark going on may settle to just the right shade a few minutes later. The slightly darker tones make a big difference. You could probably do something similar with bronzer or go more rosey instead of darker too.
It's not so dark that it looks different from the rest of my skin. I use the Jergans a couple of times a week on my neck area to be sure.

cciele

Veteran

I started going gray in my 20s. I have no idea how gray I am now (mid40s), but I definitely know that I'll be coloring my hair for a long while yet -- I'm with taylor on this one I have fun with color, and it doesn't wreck my hair (probably makes it more manageable, since my hair is thick and stick straight).

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