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For Marianne - going grey

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

(I thought I’d answer your question here instead of on the blog post just in case you didn’t peek back).

So here are my thoughts:

o I absolutely 100% believe that grey hair can be breathtakingly fabulous – but it’s not a flop proof formula. It has to the right amount of grey, in the right hairstyle, on a lass with fab dress sense. Grey hair looks KILLER on women in their 50’s, 60’s and 70’s who have funky short crops and current style.

o If you are in your 30’s and 40’s and brunette but are going grey, I suggest hair colour. Blondes get away with going grey gradually more easily.

This is probably not what you wanted to hear :0(.

I wish I could say that going grey gradually at an early age was fab, but I truly believe that you look better with colour before you hit your 50’s and 60’s. Salt & Pepper crops are fab, but there needs to be enough "salt" for the do to look good. When you are not quite there yet, it’s a good idea to colour until you reach that stage.

I hope that makes sense.

General

38 replies

Latest reply was from taylor

taylor

Veteran

Well said! Thanks for clearing that up:) That is the general feel of most hairstylists as well.

marianne

Thank you for answering my question, Angie! I appreciate your taking the time to give your expert opinion. I was expecting something along these lines, but I needed the official verdict. I know what you mean about brunettes. That's why I always wanted to be a blonde. I have only met one brunette who went without coloring and looked great (she had very short wavy/curly hair) but I think she started going gray a bit later in life - to your point.
I am not really concerned about looking older, and in my profession appearance is the least important thing, I only want to avoid looking frumpy. I just do not like the idea of dyeing my hair and that's why I was wondering if there is a way around it. I can't really explain this phobia of mine. It's very possible, however, that I will feel different as my gray becomes more prominent. Hopefully it won't get to the point where I'd need an intervention!

P.S. Thank you for validation, Taylor!

cciele

Veteran

Yes, thanks from me too for clearing that up! I keep thinking about growing out my gray, but thought it would look odd since I'm over 60% gray but I look like I'm in my thirties!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Thanks for the expert validation, Taylor.

Glad it made sense, Marianne and cc. One grey hair at a time - or not :0)

Christie

I was at my salon once and a stunning woman in her 70s was just finishing up. Her hair was silvery white, and cut in a stacked chin length bob. My hairdresser said the only way to go gray (at the appropriate age) was to go very stylish in cut.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Tell me what you think of this website:

http://goinggraylookinggreat.c....._gallery1/

I'll reserve my viewpoint for later :0)

HannahC

Yeah ... this is why I color my hair I have a dark brown hair naturally, and since my gray is quite detectable already, I color it. The silver lining here is that I discovered that I like myself with even darker hair more, so I color it to a couple of shades darker than my natural color. I plan to continue coloring at least until I am 60.

Taylor, many stylists say that as you grow older, you need to go several shades lighter in your hair color, because an aging face looks better with lighter hair. Do you think it is true? I like myself best with very dark hair (my current shade is "dark chocolate"), but all stylists so far recommended to at least do some highlights.

merry77

Angie - we had a fairly lengthy discussion of going grey here while you were travelling: http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....replies=36

I'm still going back and forth with whether or not to go gray now, but the one reason I really want to go gray is because people say I have to color it

cciele

Veteran

That's an interesting website, Angie. My honest opinion? I think the older ladies (they don't list ages for many of them, so I'm not sure of their ages) look good gray, with short spunky haircuts. But for the 30 and 40 year olds, the gray looks aging to me. I'm wondering how much of my opinion is based on societal expectations (gray = old), though.

But good for the ladies on the website that want to go au naturel! I think there's something freeing about not having to worry about your roots and highlights.

tarzy

Veteran

I really considered this a few months ago. I get so tired of doing my roots every three weeks. I was seriously considering it, but when I went to that fashion workshop where they discussed color, everyone said exactly the same thing that Angie just said. They felt I looked too young for grey hair. And I have to say, when I really really thought about it, I realized I just wasn't ready yet. I decided to add some warm tones instead, which I think lightened up my look a little bit. (I think really really dark hair can look fake on someone my age.) I still have to deal with the roots, but I'm feeling much better about it now. I'm just not ready to go grey!

Anonymous

That is exactly how I feel about salt and pepper hair, it looks best when the salt becomes more prominent.

Anonymous

I've just looked at the going greylookinggreat website that Angie posted above and now I want to try it!!!
The problem is I have a hair appt today at 2:30 so that doesn't give me much time to mull this over.
I wonder what Angie is going to say her opinion of the gals on the website is? I wonder if angie will be back and tell us before I leave for my hair appt?
I am almost 55 so I think I am probably in the age group to try it. What do you think?

Anonymous

I wonder, wonder, wonder what you think of the ladies on the video who have gone grey Angie?
I am so tempted to tell the stylist today to put in highlights that will make going grey look less startling.

marianne

I saw this website when we had the discussion that Merry linked to. I'd say results vary - in general, shorter cuts look better, and some people have a wrong shade of color to begin with. People over 45 definitely look better gray. I am also not sure if that is how I see these pictures because I am culturally conditioned that way.
So if I colored my hair for, say, 5 years, then I would have to go through the skunk phase to grow it out... hmm. My mom started coloring around 40, and now she says she shouldn't have done it. Of course she doesn't know what it would have looked like if she had gone through the natural process.

Hannah, I haven't seen your close-up in the right lighting, but I think that a lighter shade would look great.

Tara, thanks for your input! You look terrific in today's post pictures, by the way!

San, I am in no position to give advice, sorry! You could always try it next time

taylor

Veteran

Hi Hannahc,

Going lighter is something hairstylists do often recommend to our clients who are going grey and are naturally dark.

Blonde hair tends to look mousey and goes darker before turning to grey.

The reason is this,... as you age your hair looses pigment before it turns grey,thus looking washed out, dry and lackluster . Adding highlights does look softer against the skin because more often than not dark coloring products tend to look...well ...artifical and TOO dark, especially on someone in their 40's thru 70's, because hair color(natural) has so many colors going on.Many shades of reds, browns etc. to create YOUR natural color.

While I think you are still young enough to wear dark hair(and the 20 something crowd can go very dark), adding some highlights breaks up that solid heavy look and adds dimension ,and some softness because of the changing skin color we go through also as we age.Very dark hair does tend to throw shadows on our face.

I tell my client's to think of hair as an ACCESSORY, it is part of a TOTAL look.

Marilyn Munroe would not have been the blonde bombshell if she did not have the TOTAL package. That means hair, clothes body,dark eye liner, red lips.etc. Otherwise she would have just been another bleached blonde

Your hair is a huge part of your total look, so if you enjoy it dark for now, that is fine, re-evaluate in a couple years about the highlights:)

Hope that answeres your question:)

Dani

Veteran

I personally think the older gals on the going grey website look better. I feel that some of the younger ones look prematurely old. I'm not a huge fan of adding color to my hair (too many chemicals for me, personally), but I would do it anyway until I'm in my late 40s and then possibly on into my 50s instead of going grey in my 30's or 40's.

San, I'll be anxious to see what you decided to do today!

HannahC

Taylor, thanks for such an insightful explanation!

Marianne, I have to think about a lighter shade. Maybe you are right ...

OK, I am totally hijacking Angie's thread for Marianne, but here is my close-up photo: http://picasaweb.google.com/lh.....directlink

This was taken last year, my hair is longer now, but it is the same shade. What do you say? Should I try highlights? My stylist says that it will eliminate the need for frequent coloring, because the gray will blend in with the highlights and will be less noticeable. It this how it works? I am also afraid that the highlights will not look natural ...

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Taylor! You are fab. We are so lucky to have a professional hair stylist on YLF.

(Merry, I read your post)! Have we seen a picture of you yet?

Regarding the website, I don’t think any of the younger lasses pull off grey hair. They ALL look better with colour. Of course the older gals look fabulous and San – I think you should try going grey if you feel you are salt and pepper enough. (Sorry I couldn't get to this thread sooner).

Wow HannaC! Lovely picture! Taylor – please offer your expertise :0)

taylor

Veteran

Go for it!!!:) yes, that is how it works, the grey will be less obvious. If you don't like the highlights she can cover them up:) Bet you'll be hooked!!

Hannah , you are a beauty.... you can take some risks with your haircolor!!

Chris

Somehow I missed this thread so chiming in late.
I too have been coloring for about four years. I think I am only 20% gray (have to tell by the roots) and I don't plan on going "natural" for many years.
I dye pretty close to my original color - sometimes a little red or a little golden but always based around a level 5 brunette.
(My dad's mom dyed until nearly her final days - her color was a mahogany red and was so unnatural. Besides at nearly 80, I think it may be time to stop).

Most of the women in my family have the salt and pepper look - we are nearly all brunettes - and not the pretty silver or white that can be so stunning with the right cut and care.

Regarding the website - the gray is not the best shade for everyone. I suppose "aging" is the conventional term but really it is the lack of color or ashy tones that wash the skin out.

Hanna - you have pretty coloring and features. Is your hair naturally curly/wavy? The grays may not show as contrasting with your hair type if so. I get these annoying curvy/textured grays and the rest of my hair is straight so the dye tends to balance it all out if that makes sense.

cciele

Veteran

HannahC, what a lovely picture! I think you should go for highlights too. It's fun to experiment with hair, in the right hands

Taylor, thanks for sharing your expertise. I like your statement: "I tell my client's to think of hair as an ACCESSORY, it is part of a TOTAL look." I had never thought of it that way, but it is so true!

tarzy

Veteran

Hannah - if you get highlights, what color do you think you'll get? I have thought about doing that too, but with such dark hair, I'm not sure what color highlights would work best.

taylor

Veteran

Thanks, Angie

cceile , Glad you can think of your hair in a new and fun way!:)

Anonymous

Thanks to all of you who had great advice or opinions here.
I talked to the hair stylist about going grey and she asked, "Are you emotionaly ready for people to look at you as a much older woman?" My answer is, no. Also she advised that I would need to wear more makeup everyday for the lack of hair color, which I am really not likely to do. So for now I will keep it colored and highlighted.
The stylist told me that by looking at the new growth my hair is quite light around the face and about 50-50% in the back. This sounds just like my Mom's hair so I have a good idea of what it would look like and I'm not ready for that just yet.
She also asked my why I was considering going grey, as in finances, time schedule? My answer is, I really just thought it would be fun to be free of the coloring habit, and I don't like sitting in the chair for a long time. All in all though I think I do need the hair color in my life right now.
I did get a cut to enhance the curl, and bought products for that also. So we'll see how I can handle it. My stylist seemed pleased to see me show up with curls and was happy to go with it. However the curls are relaxing as the evening goes on, so we'll see.
I will try to get a picture soon.

marianne

Heh heh, hijack away, Hannah! I like your current color - it seems to be a cooler shade and I think that's why it works well. I see you're in good hands already so I have nothing constructive to add.

Dani, chemicals are also one of my concerns... upkeep too.

San, that's great that your stylist is so helpful. Looking forward to a picture!

HannahC

Ladies, thanks so much for your advice! Taylor, we are so lucky to have you on the forum!! It is such a treat to receive advice from a professional!

OK, what is left now is to go talk with my hair stylist about highlights I definitely don't want anything red (like Tara, right?), but maybe something a bit lighter than I have now ... I don't have a lot of gray (yet) - maybe 10%, but it is around my face and on my temples, so it is quite noticeable. Chris, my hair is naturally wavy-slightly curly, and I actually don't notice any significant difference in texture between my gray hairs and the ones that still have their natural color. In my experience, on dark hair, gray hair is immediately noticeable even if there is just a small amount of it

San, phew, I am so glad you decided to keep coloring your hair! I didn't want to say anything earlier as not to inflict a decision you won't be happy with, but you have such a youthful appearance! You are not ready to go gray! You know, about your curls - I think I have a similar hair texture to yours, and I tried the no-shampooing method in the past; I just never succeeded to get past the stage where my hair is too greasy, and went back to shampoo But indeed, my hair became curlier right after washing, and then the curls relaxed a little. Please post pictures!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

San, I'm relieved you've decided to keep colouring too, but I did want to support the going grey experiment if you were into it. That way you would always have the option of re-colouring! I've seen you and you just aren’t ready to go grey. Your look and vibe is too youthful. Something we strive towards. Does that make sense? Let’s see the new do! And soon the new do with new specs!

HannaC – get highlights! Marianne, get highlights too! I’m so bossy :0(

Anonymous

HaHa! Angie you are not bossy! You have talent and knowledge and share it! We appreciate you.
I'm glad to hear that you ladies are with me on keeping up the coloring of my hair. I feel 100% sure now. Thankyou.

tarzy

Veteran

Now I want highlights too! (I'm such a copycat.)

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