Flashes of clarity (or confusing musings)

Sometimes I have these moments were I can totally see where I want to be style wise... alas they get quickly blurred when I start shopping or even just pinning - I can see beauty in so much but I am battling to condense it into me. Or I can see something in my imagination but then battle to find the real life items to translate into something tangible.

I started a list a while ago of adjectives for looks that I would like to achieve or appeal to me, one way or another, but somehow when looking back, I see that some of the words on the list are quite opposite of each other.

The words are (in no particular order):

Quirky - I sometimes like items that have a handmade, original feature
Stompy - This is mostly for shoes... I like something substantial on my feet.
Artsy - this is an interesting word for me... I have always aspired to look a little artsy but I realise now that even things I don't consider to be artsy often are construed as such by others and maybe it is something more innate that I am drawn to.
Ladylike - I have discovered in this last year that I quite like the feel of a pencil or tube skirt, and I find myself admiring pointy toes and heels and clutch bags although they still feel like special occasion wear and not something I imagine (yet) for day to day life.
Pretty/Feminine - I think like an element of prettiness sometimes, but shy away from full on prettiness. I rock forwards and backwards on this word.
Goth/Punky/Alternative/Grungy - this is a throwback to my youth - I still find myself being attracted to clothes that are dark, RATE and a little different but at the same time I realise I am not a teenager anymore and this is where I am conflicted with my attraction to some ladylike style.
Hipster - There are elements of the whole hipster look that I think I relate to, but then hipster is such a relative term...
Easy/Comfortable - I don't like fuss when I have to go go go... and many of my days are MOTG days.
Edgy - Maybe this relates to the whole music reference above?

Maybe if I could come up with a style descriptor I would be happier? Eclectic is not helping me, lol!

I've written this for my own records - because it's useful to reflect on where I am at, but I would love your inputs, insights and suggestions.

12 years ago

Deborah

Veteran

Hil, I love that you have put what your thinking into words. I relate to much of what you say.

Just when I think I have defined my style, something else gets my attention. Your comments about ladylike versus alternative is my ongoing battle. I would dress like Stephanie @ Odyssey Home BUT I am not an artist, parts of my life really require more corporate and ladylike dressing...and I love modern classic as much as I love the alternative stylings. I adore unstructured looks as much as I adore structure.

Do you think if your style descriptor was too definitive that you would potentially limit yourself and get bored?

A book I read uses a style descriptor of Chic Avant Garde. I feel that rather encompasses how I would at least like my style to be. I wonder if it might be suitable for you. I can message you how they define this style persona if you are interested. I quite like using others labels as I am rubbish at working out my own lol:)

Hil

(website)

Thank you Deb - I would love to read that!

I also think Odyssey is way cool - love her style but my life is just too suburban, too normal. I want people to see me, but not stare. I want to stand out a little, but still fit in.

Vix

Hi Hil --

People who study creativity generally agree that those flashes of insight that don't really congeal into anything generally DO lead to something cohesive if one pushes through.

You've got a strong intuitive + analytical base here, so just keep on building!

If it helps any, I think lots of YLFers have been where you are -- I know I have been, and I sometimes end up seemingly back near the start.

Personally I covet items both staid and flashy, classic and boho, and on opposite ends of the color-color vs neutral spectrum. And while I'd fall into the "Modern Classic" pile most of the time, I find that a deeply useless category when it comes to shopping or combining items into outfits.

Re your list of descriptors: can you try a further exercise where you rate (on a scale of 1-10) how much of the word feels like 100% you?

When I did this I found:

too much classic feels wrong to me
too much boho feels wrong to me
too much “muchness” feels wrong to me

Which led me to see that overall I like to mix classic with shiny things, classic with color, and classic with boho. Remember that it's not the items themselves, it's the combination of items that makes the final result feel like "you." We see this a lot on YLF when people style the same item very differently!

Especially in the beginning, don't feel you have to limit yourself to a core descriptor! You have a lot of push-pull in your list; embrace it and you'll find a way to integrate.

I actually have 3 style personas...Minimalist Magpie, Contrarian Classicist, and -- the one that comes out less frequently -- Persnickety Bohemian. A lot of my outfits end up as Vaguely Vintage or Barely Boho, which feels right for me.

And while some people with multiple style directions end up building persona-based capsules, I aim to buy for maximum cross-over to keep my closet smaller and more suited to mood-based dressing. So wherever you end up, you'll find strategies that support smart [financially and emotionally] shopping and dressing.

Keep us posted!

Thank you for your wise words Vix- what you have said makes loads of sense!!!

rachylou

Now this is very interesting!

I really see Ladylike as your predominant style BUT I can see the faintest traces of Gothiness. But you are not Gothic Lady or Ladylike Goth, because that would simply mean lots of laces and wearing corsets on the outside of your clothes.

--sidebar-- You know, when you think about it, that is weird. People go through so much trouble to make elaborate reproduction dresses and then they put the corset on the outside. What is up with that?! Do I need to stop going to Dickens faire? --sidebar--

Is Gothical Ladylike too much of a mouthful? Too silly?

DonnaF

I relate to a lot of your descriptors and what you said except for goth/punk since I'm a bit too old and don't quite relate to the reference. What I've found is that I need a bit of Yin and Yang in my appearance: The more feminine my hair, the more edgy and androgynous I want my clothing to be, as well as the reverse. If the look is too polished, classic, and feminine, a part of me wants to rebel. How about you?

Suz

I have definitely been where you are, and Vix is right -- it led (eventually) to breakthrough. Having said that, to my eye you already look as if you have a much more consistent and cohesive style than I did when I was feeling this way. I definitely see the arty, the comfortable, the quirky (though that may go with arty) the stompy, and the ladylike in your style.

I love Vix's idea to ask yourself which proportion of you fits these descriptors...

I also think it is a great idea to pick one or two favourite outfits and try to define what it is that makes them sing to you. I made some interesting discoveries when I did that. My style has changed since that time (to some degree) -- but that is as it should be. We are ever evolving!

Adelfa

It's funny that rebel Rachy sees you as mainly ladylike--I'm more classic and I totally see the Goth/RATE/artsy side!

I feel in the same position as you. Let's see where we are in six months or so!

MsLuna

Hil, I'm going to need to backtrack and have a look at your outfits, but wow! What a discovery! The adjectives you used actually are similar adjectives that I like to define my style as well, so I totally relate to you!

Like Vix and the other ladies said, sometimes we can't pinpoint a singular style. We can be a combination of many! I find that experimenting and "feeling out" which styles you are most comfortable in works. When you find a comfortable formula for yourself, make note of it! Also, when I mention "comfort" here, I am not just talking about physical comfort. I'm talking about emotional/mental comfort as well. For instance, ask yourself how you feel in the outfit you just tried on. What do you like about it? Why do you like it? Does it feel like the outfit expresses who you are?

Like Vix, I discovered I can't be too much of something. At the very baseline of my style, I'm definitely a modern classic, but I'm also a little bit RATE and a little bit romantic. I have some of goth/Victorian vintage elements in my style (mainly seen with jewelry and my colour scheme), but I also combine the daint vintage-y style with edgy footwear, RATE-ish jackets (Jean jackets, worn leather, maybe?) and RATE elements on my clothing.

So really, have fun and discover what you're most comfortable in!

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