So, I guess, first of all, the root of the problem is figuring out how to dress my changed body shape after having two children. To be honest with you all, I have been sticking to maternity jeans because it’s so hard, and wearing dresses or dress maternity pants for the days that I work.

However, I recently needed a proper pair of dress pants, which led me to try on every pair of black pants to be found in a rather large mall. It was a frustrating experience. The only pair I found to work well was a stretch pair with an elastic waist. (But they’re nice, I swear.)

I think I have two fit problems (besides being petite). One problem is my squishy waist, which could probably be helped somewhat by physical therapy (for separation of the abdominal wall). The other problem is my wide-set hip bones (They're not moving!). I got a good clue by looking at a size chart that includes measurements for both the upper and lower hip.My low hip is 36.5 (size 2). My upper hip is 34 (size 8).

I currently have 2 new non-maternity jeans. One are the Madewell crops that Angie recommended as specifically not pinching the waist although they are high cut. I like them a lot! But I fear I should have sized down one size because they slide down and create a low crotch point. On the other hand they do not pinch my waist, and I am wearing normal adult pants. Length is not adjusted yet.

The other pair of jeans is from the same brand that made the dress trousers that fit me. They have exactly the same fit problem as the Madewells, that they make a bit of a sloppy crotch point, but again, I am kind of running with it because they still make me feel good.

All this is to say that I find shopping for pants very hard, and I am wondering what qualities to look for and wondering what can be altered to make things fit better on me. Wondering how other people manage their pants woes and what trade-offs they make.

Thanks for any thoughts you can share and getting through this long post!