Figure flattery as a priority or not? - YouLookFab Forum

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Figure flattery as a priority or not?

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

So on my last outfit Dana (ironkurtin) commented on my harem jeans.

http://noscrubs.lookfab.com/po.....ling-elvis

She didn't understand why I was wearing something so unflattering. I have noticed others commenting that they don't like those jeans.
I love them and don't think I'll stop wearing them. But it begs a bigger question as to whether figure flattery is a priority. For me it's not. Frankly I would rather be interesting than conventionally pretty. I'll fully admit to having a somewhat difficult personality and I feel my clothes reflect that to some extent. I will tone it down for dates obviously. It is pretty rare that I fully embrace my hourglass figure, and mostly that is manifest in my opera capsule.
How important is figure flattery to you?

Dressing

74 replies

Latest reply was from Lauren

Anonymous

Extremely important. I am willing to let go some as long as. a- It is still slimming, I would not wear anything that makes me look bigger, why? b- Does not make me look as if I'm packing somethin' somethin'. I have deep issues with that. I like androgyny until that point.

Do I like the jeans. Not for me but you seem to love them!

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

For me, it is and it isn't. It depends on the outfit and what its intentions are. For example, my BF jeans, slouchy trousers and skinny slouchies are not conventionally flattering - my butt is saggy in them and they fall off without a belt. But that's not why I wear them - when I wear these items, I'm wanting to be more edgy and reflect a different sort of style.

But when I wear a dress or skirt to work, I want figure flattery to be right up there in terms of importance. I need to project a different and more professional image in this instance.

Does that make sense?

You love those harem jeans probably the same way Angie loves her jodpur jeans - wear them and love them Anna!

Hil

(website)

Veteran

There are some outfits that I love regardless of how/whether they flatter my figure, but I do try to take some notice of what I should be wearing and dress appropriately.

crazyone

Veteran

it's a priority for me, but I don't think it needs to be a priority for everyone. In fact, I admire that it's not a priority for you--I feel like most of us operate under significant societal pressure to look conventionally pretty.

At the same time, there's a certain pleasant feeling I get when I know I'm wearing a particularly figure flattering outfit.

But because figure flattery is a priority for me, my eyes have a bias when looking at other women's outfits.

I'm sure that's why I prefer this outfit of yours: http://noscrubs.lookfab.com/po.....nd-leopard

to any of the ones with the harem jeans.

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

For me it tops all. Before I got to YLF, people kept asking me if I was pregnant! If I am not careful, I can alternately look like I am 12 years old or 6 months pregnant. No trend is worth giving up figure flattery for me.

Isabel

Veteran

I really like Shannon's answer. For me, it is really more about fit. I am much more stuck on that than I am on "figure" flattery. I agree that if you like your pants and they achieve your goal, wear them ! ( And they seem to fit you well ! ) Expressing oneself isn't always about physical flattery.

Diana

Veteran

For me, it is, but only within my OWN definition of "figure flattering". So, every time I try something body con, someone will say "oh it shows off your awesome figure" but personally I hate it and I hate looking bombshell. So even though it might be flattering to others it is not flattering to me AT ALL. Similarly, I never buy padded bras because I don't want my medium sized chest to appear any larger, even though that's considered traditionally flattering.

On the other hand, I DO like things that emphasize the fact that I have really long legs for my height and that show off my small waist. But even then I am willing to trade off a bit if something is interesting or I just have sugar eye for it. I think my cutoff point is when things actually make me appear larger (hence why I don't own any boyfriend jackets, for example). ETA: So by this definition your harem jeans are fine, as you look very slim in them!

deb

Veteran

It is important to me because as I have aged, I have gained weight and due to medical issues, it will never come off. But, then again, I like being 'pretty'. That said, I love your style and your clothing style matches your quirky personality. I think we all have to define what our inner self wants to put forward and dressing is a very good vehicle for this. That is one of the best parts of the YLF community, we embrace each individual for what they are and how they want to be portrayed.

Amy

(website)

Veteran

It's of medium importance to me. I'm super sensitive about my wide hips and short-waistedness, so I usually try to disguise those issues. Other conventional notions of figure flattery aren't as important. i don't mind if something disguises my waist, shortens my leg line or makes me look wider

Enjoy your pants. They're fun!

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I have to admit it is becoming of more importance to me personally which is part of the reason why I admire people who wear and pull of those unconventional pieces.

I think there is greater freedom in pushing what is conventionally flattering and I HATE to be dictated to but alas my body image is a little shaky right now and those tailored pieces are making me feel okay.

rachylou

Veteran

I have zero interest in figure flattery. Zero interest in showing my shape. I'm not interested in attracting random boys.

Ohmigosh, hello! My dd, she does like flattering clothes (she's 20 btw). And duuuuude. These random players try to talk to her in shopping malls. I'm like, "Honey, isn't that kind of a pain in the you know what?" And she's like, "Yeah, they're idjits..."

Gaylene

Veteran

Ah, that is such a loaded question. If I answer yes, does that mean I want to follow "rules" about proportion to emulate the current vogue for a thin, boyish figure with long legs or to wear clothes that highlight the body parts that I like best? If I answer no, does that imply that I'll wear whatever I want regardless of how I look to others or that I'll embrace whatever innovative cuts a designer can dream up regardless of how they look on my shape?

Personally, I have no desire to look shapeless, genderless, or odd in my clothing so I gravitate to things that make me feel good about body, age, and gender. I've never felt the need to either repel, or attract, the attention of the opposite sex so I won't deliberately wear anything that is extreme in either direction. Some items that are fashionable, I find aesthetically ugly so I can't see why I would want to wear them just because a designer has deemed it "of this moment". I'm also not interested in wearing something I find unflattering just because everyone else is embracing it.

But I do like wearing what I like; if the cut and shape of an item makes me happy when I put it on, I'll add it to my wardrobe in a flash even if it breaks some fashion "rules" or isn't the newest "thing". I tend to look better in items with a bit of drama but I'm carefully not to go too overboard because I don't want my clothing to speak louder than my words. I'd prefer to attract people rather than send signals that I'm not interested in what others think, so I doubt that I'd want to deliberately wear a garment that made me look too outlandish for a particular situation or setting.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I'd say figure flattery is important, but 'showing off my goods' is not he he. I am becoming uncomfortable in the bodycon tees paired with equally bodycon jeans at work. Years back it didn't faze me. I would not wear jeans so baggy, but I get that they are awesome for you.

Sona

Veteran

For me it is of utmost importance but again this is my view: it comes from years of good and bad infulences,comments, experiences: i.e because of personal baggage if you will. But it helps me feel confident and helps me 'feel' good mentally and emotionally so for me it is a win-win. But as you say your personality and aim with fashion is different. Experiential learning is different for each of us after all.

Mochi

Veteran

I don't like that style of jean but fully appreciate that 1. the world doesn't revolve around my tastes and 2. I am very happy that you are happy wearing them. For me, figure flattery is pretty important, in some balance with not looking too cookie-cutter. Mostly I just want to feel like myself...which is not totally conformist but there is a degree of it, as there is with 99.99999% of us.

rae

(website)

Veteran

What Diana said resonated with me a lot. I happen to find saggy bottomed jeans like my Gap BFs pretty darn figure flattering, even though most people (including DH) do not. I enjoy the fact that the shape of my rear is ambiguous in them, and I like how they highlight my small ankles and, if I wear a bodycon top with them, my relatively small waist. However, there are also times when I enjoy my tight bootcut jeans as well. I get a kick out of the optical illusions and how they allow me to make my figure a little malleable.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I guess I'd say it's pretty important but not in the way of wearing something tight to show off by figure or revealing to show off something else. More like wearing something that makes me feel attractive to my DH and happy to me. My favorite jeans are not tight - in fact they are closer to BF jeans I guess, but to me they seem flattering and DH likes them. I'm always hot it seems so anything tight or too fitted I find very uncomfortable these days.

rachylou

Veteran

I must add that I'm not interested in figure flattery for other people either. I mean, if that's all that's happening. I feel it's a cure for insomnia.

missvee

Veteran

Yes, it's a priority for me but I'm older than you and I wonder if that makes a difference. When I was in my 20s I wore all kinds of whackadoo fashions, many that I sewed myself. It was great fun. The corporate world brought a different 'uniform', the pant suit or skirt suit that said 'I'm in charge'. Now I like a more eclectic mix of interesting pieces, but I still want them to suit my figure. Nothing too body con, but nothing too baggy either. I say each to his own!

TraceyLiz65

(website)

Veteran

For me it is extremely important as someone who had gained weight and is on her way back to herself, baggies or harem pants will not be in my future. I think they are really interesting and edgy on others and can appreciate the style. I however don't think most men would find it attractive on a single women. At least my husband and, 26 and 17 year old say this...

Aziraphale

Veteran

Interesting replies.

For me, it is and it isn't important. What Diana says resonates with me. I don't like emphasizing my breasts, even though they're nice. I'm not a fan of the bombshell look either. And I don't think that loose jeans are ugly or unflattering, although I do like tight ones, too.

I think for me, there's a middle ground. I don't generally wear wildly unflattering stuff, but I could certainly make my figure appear more conventionally attractive a lot of the time, and I don't. I wear a combination of what looks good, is comfortable, and is interesting. Sometimes I sacrifice a bit of figure flattery for something that, to my eye, looks just plain cool.

MsMary

Veteran

I have to admit I have a poisoned eye for those particular harem pants, too, Anna! In that regard, I'd say my figure-flattery priority is "don't wear anything that makes me look like I'm wearing a (full) diaper!" LOL But if you are going for edgy and interesting then you are absolutely meeting your goal!

Other than that, I would say figure flattery is a moderate priority of mine. I don't generally want to look any bigger than I am (I spent many years unhappy with my figure and now that I'm happier with it I try not to hide it), but I am not averse to surrendering the waist or shortening the leg if the spirit moves me.

ironkurtin

Veteran

I don't equate figure flattery with being overly sexualized or wearing tight clothing, and I find it just a little strange that some do. For the record, dressing in a flattering way has nothing to do with garnering unwanted sexual advances or appealing to men!

But I do like clothing that fits me properly. The point of Anna's "harem" jeans (although they don't look like harem pants to me, but drop-crotch denim Hammer pants) seems to be that they *don't* fit like you'd expect. I don't find them flattering on Anna but it's not because she isn't being sexy, or because they're not skintight. It's because they defy the idea of her body being shaped like a body.

Also, I feel like that's a lot of fabric to have bunching up between your legs. I couldn't do it!

Day Vies

Veteran

I don't feel like I have mastered figure flattery. I think mastery is important because once I have that, I would selectively disregard some elements of figure flattery to express a fashion point of view. For now figure flattery is pretty important.

Gaylene

Veteran

I'm with a few of the others in not loving those particular jeans. Oddly enough, while I think the cut is interesting, to my eye the bulkiness seems to really draw attention to the crotch area, making the jeans quite a bit sexier--the same effect that pattern placement can have in drawing attention to the bust area on some dresses.

But, hey, if you like them, wear them; it takes a strong personality to wear that style so, if you feel good in them, enjoy the fact that you can dare to wear something that others can't.

fern

Veteran

I think I spent so long wearing unflattering clothing that figure-flattery will be priority for me until I figure it out. I understand "the rules" for flattery better now but there's a lot of subtle proportion play that I still struggle with.
(ETA: Day Vies said it above - you can't break the rules until you understand them)
I imagine you have been interested in fashion for a much longer time, Anna - and Racheylou - and figure flattery is not as inspiring as novel looks and more creative goals.
I like the pants - they fit your fashion goals perfectly.

rachylou

Veteran

@IK - I agree that figure flattery isn't over-sexualized or tight clothing. I disagree that it's not about appeal to men.

ironkurtin

Veteran

Rachylou - I could care less what men think about what I wear. They are so incidental to me dressing in a way that appreciates my own body! (Sorry, boys!)

rachylou

Veteran

Ok. I accept that. I believe that, totally, IK.

But I put this to you: Flattery is about giving yourself the look of the ideal proportions. And the ideal proportions are rooted in health AND fertility. I don't know that women look each other over to see if they're shaped well enough to bear each other children.

ETA: However, got to add, when a woman looks herself over to see if she's looking good - the fertility health comes into play again.

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