Very, very rarely getting out of pajamas or leaving the house over the past couple months. Even more rarely putting on makeup. These 3 days were exceptions.

1-3: A socially distanced outing this week, Lucy in the backseat. Grey V-neck tee, mossy green jeans, VERY old brown suede sneakers, earthy green resin leaf necklace.
4-5: Dressed up at home for a virtual wedding in May because the wedding party really wanted guests to share selfies for their album; they live-streamed their tiny backyard ceremony. Navy floral-print bell sleeved Eliza J dress, faux-pearl necklace, rose gold wedges.
6-8: A socially distanced outdoor gathering with my parents, which was a huge breath of fresh air. Grey jeans, mossy green tee with band/slit detail on upper arms, forest green suede flats, and the same resin leaf necklace as in the first outfit.

Folks, this year has kicked my butt. Not just what’s going on worldwide and nationally and locally on pandemic/political levels, but dealing with pet illness and losing critically sick pets; isolation from family and friends; unemployment and furlough for our household; almost total hiatus from physical activities (running/hiking) that helped me heal so much last year; trying to maintain barriers around folks discussing my body or bodies similar to mine in a really harmful way, which has resulted in making choices about which social spaces I spend more or less time in; physical exhaustion and cognitive fuzziness and difficultly concentrating which meant that my typical outlets like reading have been too hard; and some of the lowest and scariest mental health periods of my life.

I am safe, but I don’t want to paint a picture with smiling and well-dressed photos that things are okay most of the time. They are the exception. There are happy days amid a really crappy year.

I know I’m far from alone in having a rough time. If you’re reading this and you’re also struggling, my heart goes out to you. I hope you are receiving the support and healing to help you be as okay as possible in a really unusual circumstance. Even more so to folks who have been hit harder and even earlier/more often with repeated hard stuff than me. I am counting my blessings and undeserved privileges that mean that I’m safe and have a roof over my head and good-for-America medical care. I don’t think I’ll be able to take things like hugging my mom for granted whenever I’m able to do that again.

Hope you all are well and safe. Take care.