Feeling uncomfortable - YouLookFab Forum

Category

What I Wore

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Feeling uncomfortable

anchie

Veteran

Few years ago I have sworn of of v-necks because I always felt uncomfortable and self concise in them because I have a feeling that I am exposing too much. But recently I got this wrap too from Boden. I don’t intend to wear it for work, I am off today and have some quick errands to do. But I stopped at the door second guessing this top. Tell me, does this look ok? I am not too modest but I also don’t want to adjust myself all the time. Should I stick with crew necks in the future?

This post has 1 photo. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

38 replies

Latest reply was from anchie

Staysfit

Veteran

I think it looks great! If you are worried, get some double sided tape for extra security. I use it whenever I wear a V Neck or wrap because my chest is not large and when I bend forward I worry that my bra and everything south is exposed. It’s extra security and it works. I carry extra in my handbag.

RobinF

Veteran

I know what you mean, I don't like to show any cleavage. I don't think this is too much but you could always wear a tank underneath it. Then you don't have to worry about any gaping or slipping.

Liz

Veteran

I wouldn't be comfortable in this, but we all have different comfort levels.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Anchie, you have a gorgeous figure and what fun pattern mixing. That top for sure would complement your colouring. If I met you on the street I would not think twice -- but comfort levels differ and so do social norma in different cities/ towns. So really, it is up to you.

Does it fall forward when you bend? Like Staysfit, I have a small chest, and this is my main concern with low Vs which I avoid as a result. But that is mainly a problem with loose clothes that don't have structure at the shoulder line.

I like her idea of double sided fashion tape, and you could also use a "half cami" type thing that would provide a bit of modesty up top without adding too much insulation.

rachylou

Veteran

It looks nice... but I admit I’m a prude and want my friends to be prudes too and wouldn’t love being next to you in it, lol.

Yeah. I said it! So of course what this means is, you should wear it and sit right up next to me

K.M.

Veteran

I think you look amazing, and I don't think you are showing too much skin. But as everyone said: people have different comfort levels. I'm from Brazil, so you can imagine I'm pretty used to people showing lots of skin!

In any case I don't think you are showing that much cleavage in this pic, and I second the recommendation for double-sided tape, which as a 34A I wear often because of the loose-top problem.

I have the same wrap top from Boden in a different print and I love it. Fantastic that it fits and flatters people with such different figures, as it looks good on my small chest too! It is sooo soft and comfortable. I might get other prints or colors in the future. (Just hoping it will wash well--haven't tried yet).

3style

Veteran

To my mind, you are combining two different looks in the one top, and you might want to consider each of them separately. What I mean is, I will wear a V that deep, if the top has more volume and is less bodycon. So for example, a V-neck pleated popover style. Or a V-neck heavier knit sporty slouchy pullover with a slightly higher cut scoop tank underneath.

Or, I will occasionally wear a top that is that bodycon. I’m finding that I’m not crazy about bodycon tops either tucked in or bunched up over my bottom garment. My plan going forward is to do bodycon tops only underneath vests or sweaters. If I want to highlight my waist, I’m finding it to be much easier to think about (and less fussing to adjust during the day) to do that with a more fitted dress.

Anyway, I feel like this particular blue top, if I wanted to work with it, I would probably only wear for fancier occasions. You might dress it up for dinner, e.g. short statement necklace and black pencil skirt, or for a day out somewhere fun, with white jeans, straw bag or hat and a metallic shoe. I think trying to make it into a more everyday outfit doesn’t work that well.

Anonymous

that v-neck with a more flowy skirt might be a nice combo, architecturally speaking. Angie's post today focuses on pairings and how to style wide crops with flowy tops. You have the opposite challenge here--pairing a fitted top with a less body-con skirt. This doesn't seem too low cut to me, as long as you are comfortable in it. I had a salesclerk say to me recently, why are you hiding your body? rock it! she meant it too so I sized down and bought a dress that was more bodycon than I would normally wear. Still, I am modest. So I might pop on a light cardi, 3/4 sleeve, with this top. I ask myself: why am I hiding again? If I feel like I must wear a cover-up, then is it worth buying this top? So many voices. The one I most often listen to is this one: are you comfortable and 95% happy in this outfit?

anchie

Veteran

Ah, LOL, so I was not imaging that it is borderline incident.

Staysfit - I have never used double sided tape, will have to look into it, hope it is available here.

RobinF - Tank will probably be too worm to wear currently, but it will be useful in other seasons. Will try that. Not sure what color?

Liz - that is exactly reason why I am asking.

Suz - thank you for nice complements. It does not fall forward, but I would prefer if the v is less deep but it does not want to stay like that.

rachylou - LOL will keep that in mind

K.M. - I have not washed it yet, this was it's first outing. I love how soft it is. I bought it mostly for the print and colors - I hope I can make it work.

3style - this is very interesting observation. Maybe that is the issue that is making me uncomfortable - body con with deep v-neck. Since I don't think it is appropriate for work, I was hoping to wear it casually. Unfortunately, don't have many fancy occasions in my life.

anchie

Veteran

CJ - I have very similar doubts. I was thinking about some kind of cover up but cleavage will still be exposed. But at least body con aspect will be less obvious.

Kathie

Veteran

The feminist in me says, “Go for it!” Certainly, follow your instincts, and environmental norms, but from what you have in your profile, and your other posts, I see no reason not to enjoy wearing it, if you feel confident in the look.

Becky

Veteran

I am rather conservative and don't like to show any cleavage at all. That said, you need to do what feels comfortable for you. If it works for your comfort level and environment, figure out how to make it work.

cindysmith

Veteran

I just donated a top for the same reason. It looked fine, but I wasnt emotionally comfortable in it

Christina F.

Veteran

I agree with 3style, who thinks the top and skirt have different vibes. I'd try the top with a more streamlined skirt for an evening event. You may feel more comfortable then.

I don't think you're showing too much, but that's such a personal feeling and is so dependent on things like location that I can only say that you should wear it proudly if you're comfortable.

kellygirl

Veteran

I think it’s perfect for a day off. I’d love to have cleavage but alas, not so fortunate. In my casual weekend environment, I wouldn’t give it a second thought. I’d just wear it and see how you feel.

Sal

Veteran

I think the top looks gorgeous on you. I would wear it socially and casually with comfort - probably not for work. But it is whether you feel comfortable in it - our norms can be very different.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

If this is “borderline indecent” I’m walking around in a state of scandal much of the time. I like my décolletage and it’s one part of me that is defying my age for the moment. I get that we all have our own sensitivities, but I take exception to some of the judgmental attitudes towards showing a modest bit of cleavage. As long as you’re not showing it in an inappropriate setting, I just can’t see why this is a problem.

Anonymous

I think it looks great. I have a large chest & would never be allowed to wear a v neck if showing the very top of cleavage is deemed inappropriate at all times. To heck with that!
I never knew there were so many things other women were possibly judging me on, until I saw fashion forum comments! I can chuckle about it but really, I find nothing indecent about your level of exposure here.
*(Chuckle about all the judgements I never knew existed among women, not at your outfit or concerns!)

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Good heavens. GORGEOUS top. There is nothing indecent about that top AT ALL. Especially in Europe. It fits 100% beautifully. Rock on.

Gaylene

Veteran

I’m in the same camp as Janet, jlpp, and Angie. I’d wear that top without a second thought—and I’m nearing 70. LOL

columbine(erin)

Veteran

I'm super modest and like to wear bandeaus under tops that I'm concerned about. The top looks very nice on you.

Anonymous

I am jealous! YLF! Perfect for non-work!

Anonymous

Wow, this is a struggle because for ME, I think you look both ladylike and gorgeous and I would not be "shocked" by this at all, especially in hot weather.

I have no personal knowledge of the effect of this kind of cleavage in public, except as a viewer, but I'm inclined to think that ANYTHING super eye catching carries a certain risk of unwanted attention.

My concern would be only for your comfort. You look beautiful.

Anonymous

Like Smittie, I am jealous of your gorgeous figure. A cami or tank worn under the top might help you to feel more confident. Or add a big bib style necklace to fill the gap. If you are not wearing the top to teach ( bend over desks), nursing ( bend over patients) or waitressing ( bending over tables) but on a day off, enjoy.

Dianna

Veteran

The top is beautiful on you, I don't think it is reavealing at all, specially for summer. The colors are great on you.

Jules

Veteran

For that type of top I personally add a cami for day/work, but I might wear without for say date night or even dinner out with girlfriends. I find evenings loan themselves to barer looks. This is just about my personal comfort level no judgement or rules here!
A navy cami would be low contrast, but yellow or baby blue could also be cute! Think of the cami as an outifit enhancement rather than a problem.

3style

Veteran

anchie, when I suggested wearing for something a little bit more special than everyday, I forgot you were in Europe. In the USA you often see women dressed in shorts, cargo pants, leggings, joggers, etc., and I just meant that those types of items would not make a good pairing, because the top does read to me as looking dressier.

Where I live, in summer, you often see women casually wearing tops of that type, but which are several sizes too small. Even a senior manager at my husband’s company does that, (I think she doesn’t make time to shop for specialty sizes) and it starts to get difficult for everyone to not be distracted by that.

So, for myself I’d make extra effort to make sure that the rest of my outfit looked put together, just because I’d want to avoid any association with inattentive dressing.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Wear it and enjoy - it's very pretty!

Anonymous

I eased myself into tops like the one you pictured. I started out with a coordinating or contrasting cami or a bra that had a beautiful lace modesty panel. Then I started wearing tops without cami or modesty bra around house. Now I am comfortable with just the top.
Just remember- don’t necessarily judge by looking down- you will always be more self conscious. Look straight ahead in mirror.
I think you look fine in that top but you have to feel comfy and confident

12