Fashion rules we can/can’t break - YouLookFab Forum

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Fashion rules we can/can’t break

Irina

Veteran

By the fashion “rules” I do not mean any rules /opinions that media or fashion bloggers/influencers come up with and try to impose on us. I mean our own rules or biases. Some call it a poison eye.

We all have it, mostly these options come from an early experience, upbringings, society norms at the places we lived. I probably had many, some I no longer follow, mostly influenced by the environment of the large, urban city.

So, things I used to say no, never:
- sneakers as shoes outside of sport activities. Well, we all know how it went
- sweatshirts and sweatpants made of typical jersey fabric as clothes. This one is new to me, taking it slowly. I want to replace jeans with sweatpants for my winter walks and add jersey joggers for my lounge wear.

- fabric shopper as an accessory. I used to only take them to do a grocery shopping or for a picnic or beach, carry in my main bag as an extra bag. I now have 5 and love them!

Still saying no for now:
- hosiery with dress sandals. I actually don’t mind cotton socks with more casual sandals. I think that cotton socks make a kind of statement, more “it’s a feature not a bug”.

- wearing more than 3 colors in one outfit. This one has an ability to make me feel uncomfortable. The most I can do is to add to three color outfit one accessory in a 4th color. A patterned piece with more than 3 colors is ok but I feel a need to pair down everything else, accessories then must repeat colors in the pattern. OCD, really.
- bright colors worn with black. This one might be shaky at the moment, due to my new found love for fuchsia but not completely there.

Oh, one more - no black trouser socks with low vamp shoes. I like the look of high vamp shoes with fun socks.

Do you know/have your own biases and what they are?

Dressing

55 replies

Latest reply was from Runcarla

nemosmom

Veteran

I am with you on not wanting to wear more than 3 colors in an outfit and the hosiery with dressy sandals!

Actually, I think my color comfort level might have a limit of 2. More than 2 colors and I feel too loud - maybe because my hair is bright (ish).

"Rules" I grew up with that I no longer adhere to, include:

- Corduroy is only for fall or winter. It is very much a spring and sometimes cool-summer fabric for me. I even wore velvet last spring to a dinner and did not feel out-of-place!

- Do not wear earthtones in summer (I wear them year-round).

- Boy clothes are for boys (well over a third of my wardrobe is from the men's department!)

- Do not mix metals (I love gold and silver together)

- Brown and black should not be work together (I love this combo)

"Rules" I still say no to:

- Black goes with everything (for me, it does not... it can look too harsh);

- Leggings worn as pants. I just can't get into this one.

- There is a magical number for everyone's wardrobe.

kkards

Veteran

i used to have so many…
This are the rules i no longer follow
~no white after Labor Day (this one went early in my YLF tenure)
~no white shoes…i don’t know what Angie did to me…LOL
~leggings are for working out…the pandemic just pushed me toward something that was probably inevitable
~technical fabrics and gearish clothing are for the gym or weekends - but really they are perfect for work, but for me key is the “ish”
~faux leather is fake and fake is bad—why did it take me so long to realize how good it could look and how much easier it was to take care of

These are rules that that i continue to hold on to:
~no nude hosiery, at least for me. I have bad memories and just can’t get past the old experiences and expenses
~no orange with black, this is separate from all other black rules
~long sleeve or short—no 3/4 or bracelet sleeves
~pastels do not mix with black
~cold shoulders are a mystery I’m not interested in solving
~ripped clothing is not ok for work or worship

Irina

Veteran

Nemosmom, I forgot about the mixed metals! I had that one, too. A few years ago I started wearing white and yellow gold together. Even bought a pair of earrings in both. Mrs. Obvious

slim cat

Veteran

One of the old rules I don't follow - no solid tops without any graphics/prints. Got couple "no print" tops for an outfit completion.
The old still true rule - no skinnies of any kind - just don't love them on me. No 3/4 sleeves - look wrong on my long-ish arms. No hosiery or any very fitted things - menopause effect .

Jules

Veteran

For me it’s ‘no white (pants) after labour day’ - I truly have no interest in wearing white pants other than in summer. I admire other’s looks but it’s not for me. Partly for practical reasons but I do also think there’s a quality/quantity of light issue - it’s not totally arbitrary that white just looks better to me in the summer months.
But who knows. I’m just now coming around to white-soled winter boots, which I rejected for myself last year but am now sort of wishing I had gone in that direction for my last purchase…

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Following with interest, because I often don’t realize my own biases until I see others comment.

What I can think of right now:
Not into fashion sneakers, faux leather clothes, or graphic T-Shirts
Don’t like to look perfectly polished (& probably couldn’t if i tried)
I’m not into intentionally distressed anything
Cold shoulder tops don’t make sense to me (though I might still want a top with cutouts like I looked for earlier this year).
I have no ideal # of colors for an outfit, but like wearing very similar colors together. Wearing everything all the same color just feels like a whole lot of that color—too much.

None of these are hard and fast rules. They’re just observations about what I do/n’t feel good about.

Irina

Veteran

Kkards, fascinating! I wear nude hose in colder months!
Slim cat, I don’t wear or ever wore skinny jeans myself but I don’t mind on others.

Jules, I’m working on my white denim rule - I wore white jeans a couple of days ago, never wore it in November before. I want to try it on a sunny, winter day to see if I like it.

JAileen

Veteran

My personal rule was no brown and black together. It was one or the other. Now, I like that combo!

Helena

Veteran

This is a great question and such interesting responses!

For me as I read through, I can relate to certain things (eg limited colours in an outfit) but I would call them tendencies rather than rules (for myself).

I would say in years gone by I tended to follow conventional rules (e.g. no socks with sandals, no white after Labor Day) but these days my only rule is "never say never!" Slow as I may be to adopt new things and consistent as my "look" may be over time, I've tossed enough rules over the years to know I ultimately don't hold much sacred when it comes to my style!

nuancedream

Veteran

I'm with slim cat on no 3/4 sleeves. WIth very long arms, they just look like my tops and jackets shrunk in the wash. Denim on denim was a look I avoided in the past, but I mix denim colors and washes quite a bit now. Pattern mixing was also a no go. I can remember my mother making me change my clothes when I mixed stripes and floral in a school outfit. Maybe I was a little too ahead of my time.

Irina

Veteran

Stag F, yes, I used to be not into sneakers. Now, I think I might have hard time switching back to regular shoes next year.

JAileen, I wore brown with black before, don’t know how I would feel now. I don’t have anything brown in my wardrobe.

Helena, great attitude!
Nuancedream, how could I forget about denim on denim? Nope, can’t do it. Meant to try blue denim jacket with my white jeans but hesitated. Not the colors but rather similar style of clothes makes me feel like I’m wearing a uniform.

Jonesy

Veteran

Very interesting! For myself, I do have aversions to things, but don't necessarily think of them as rules. But I suppose they are :)! I evolve and change in terms of my style, e.g., I would have sworn a year ago that brown was dead to me, but here I am in fall, 2022, wearing brown!

So, at this moment, I would say:

1) No solid black paired with solid brights or pastels (not too tough since I don't usually wear brights or pastels).
2) No hose or tights--I hate the way they feel and they always droop in my crotch, perhaps because of how I am built, not sure...
3) No tight or snug-fitting clothes (except base layers for cold weather and work out gear).
4) No bracelet-length sleeves on jackets.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Irine, why would you need to switch back to other shoes?

Irina

Veteran

Jonesy, come to think of it, I don’t wear often black with pastels. I wear cream with black, though.

Stag F, I like to wear oxfords, ballerina flats, mules and even pumps, so more of refined style shoes. And I have them There are still some limitations due to my leg injury, hope they will go away next year.

slim cat

Veteran

I came back to say that I probably don't remember my old rules - I remember more things to avoid and combinations to use. My early menopause ( at 44 years old - more than 10 years ago ) put me into very limited options with comfort as a most important thing ever. I probably didn't do fashion sneakers before my foot problems started either - so DYOT is my favorite rule now and I tell the same to my clients.

kkards

Veteran

Another rule I no longer follow; don’t wear black and navy together

Sal

Veteran

Interesting. I suspect NZ had different rules so some of them never really applied here. Eg white after labour day, and black and brown have always been seen together.

It’s a bit hard to pare out what is just me and what are existing norms. But I will give it a go.

Rules that I no longer follow
- double denim - bring it on
- leggings as pants - yes they need to be thick and opaque but I like it
- sneakers and ankle boots with skirts- all the time
- figure flattery as the primary goal - I consider it but sometimes fun or colour trump flattery

My own rules
- I don’t like black and bright on me. It's too high contrast.
- seasonal confusion. I think we all have different ideas but I won’t wear boots with sleeveless or summer, nor sandals or high summer looks in winter.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

I misunderstood you; I thought you would somehow not be permitted to wear other shoes.

Irina

Veteran

Kkards, me, too. I like navy with black and even wear ink with black.

Sal, seasonally confused outfits are not for me, either. But I like it on others.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I agree with Sal that we had different “rules” here. I had very few rules of my own, it has always been preference.
I didn’t like to mix metals but wanted to get over that, because it was limiting, so successfully bought a mixed metal watch 2017 and earrings 2018, they helped me to do it.
I didn’t want to wear sneakers to my professional job but since 2016 have been able to with 2 more refined pairs, one pale pink one white lace.
I have not got over my poison eye for wide-legged pants on me. If that means I don’t look “current”, so be it.

Kate

Veteran

The only rule I can think of that I grew up with is the no white after Labor Day. That never bothered me one way or the other because I rarely wore white. I do now, but mainly in the summer.

My own rules:
No orange with black. Just too harsh and Halloween-ish.
No prints on top, unless they are abstract and neutral in color. I will happily wear patterned pants.
Leggings as pants.
No bracelet length sleeves on tops or coats.

Irina

Veteran

Jenni NZ, I didn’t wear skinny jeans when they were extremely popular and fashionable. I like them on others but not on me. Trendy or not, we all want to like how we look.

Kate, leggings worn as pants are still everywhere here and worn with short sweaters or jackets. But mostly popular among young women.

Theodora

So funny about these “rules”! My wedding ring, almost 33 years now, is white and yellow gold, and it was the only one I liked on me. At the time, 1989, did not know about neutral skin tone, lol, but now I do know, and it makes perfect sense why silver AND gold work for me.

Orange and black Halloween reference is a no go for me too, but I love orange with other colors!
I also had a hard rule for years about sneakers only for actual workouts or walks, now totally the opposite. My daughter calls me a “sneaker head”, as I have non-athletic sneakers that really update my look these days

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

- I remember an episode of What Not to Wear where they said that wearing colors with black “makes the color look tacky and the black look cheap.” While I’ll happily wear black with colorful patterns, I can’t bring myself to wear the black pants+colored top formula.

- I have a personal poison eye for loafers and have never even tried on a pair.

- I won’t wear colored socks with white sneakers, actually, I’m kind of fussy about socks in general.

On the other side…

- I used to never wear distressed anything, but I started trying to copy Pinterest outfits I liked and realized that when I used my own undistressed jeans in the formulas, the outfits were missing something. Now I happily buy and wear items with artful distressing.
- I was once horrified by the thought of my belly being exposed, but now I’m okay with a sliver of skin showing in the summer.
- There was a time when all my pants had to have a break and fall over my shoes. That time is long gone.

LaPed

Veteran

Tough question! I think I avoid things subconsciously rather than consciously, and articulating my own rules actually helps me make better buying decisions. Off the top of my head:

No "holiday colours" (red and green, black and orange, red white and blue, etc.). I have one summer top with a red-white-and-blue print that I love, but I don't love wearing too close to July 4th when it just feels a bit too literal.
No gold hardware (more muted warm metals like brass are okay)
No 3/4 sleeves (I just find them impossible to layer!)

Traditional rules I know I ignore:

No white after Labor Day/no black in the summer
No pairing black with other dark neutrals (I happily wear it with navy and brown)
Probably many more I ignore without knowing it!

Jenn, I also have a loafer poison eye. I always assumed it came from growing up in New England, where it's hard to make them come off as anything but literal preppy. They don't stay on my feet anyway, so I've never even bothered!

phoebe

I have many preferences but only two rules for myself; knitwear must be 100% natural fiber and, no artifice. No distressing, and no faux, including the faux poor workmanship of released hems and revealed seams.

I realize this may sound extreme to some but the immediate reduction in options is a real positive for me.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I agree Phoebe that a reduction in options can be helpful! I can just pass over all the wide-legged pants… which is most of them, but there are still plenty of slimmer ones available as there must be enough other women who like them!

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Oh my goodness l strongly suspect that l have loads of rules for myself that l just have t really thought about up until now.So here goes!
- no socks with open toed shoes .
- no sock tops showing in the gap between trouser and shoe.
-no polyester or other sweaty or itchy fabrics.
-no clothes lined with polyester(see above rule)
- no dry clean only garments
- no distressed clothing

-no 3/4 sleeves

-no ruffles or overly embellished garments.
- no very high heels
l suspect that l could go on but l will stop now!

rachylou

Veteran

White socks, black shoes … that’s my one hard no

Oh but wait… I’d do an ankle sock and black ballet flat… lol, I’m pure chaos!

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